


Dapper Hazbins

by AngelBoots



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series), Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Valentino (Hazbin Hotel), Alternate Universe, Big sister Charlie Mange, Cute Fat Nuggets (Hazbin Hotel), F/F, F/M, Good Friend Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), M/M, Past Verosika/Reader, Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), cute critter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 62
Words: 87,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27879862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelBoots/pseuds/AngelBoots
Summary: Oneshots,Aus and incorrect  quotes inspired by Dapper Dresser.
Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Reader, Blitzo/Stolas Goetia, Charlie Magne/Vaggie, Lilith Magne/Lucifer Magne
Comments: 127
Kudos: 73





	1. Meet the Au Y/n Mange

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AppleDaddyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleDaddyo/gifts), [Caffinatedkitti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffinatedkitti/gifts), [NotBrooke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotBrooke/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Dapper Dresser](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20537630) by [AppleDaddyo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleDaddyo/pseuds/AppleDaddyo), [Caffinatedkitti](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caffinatedkitti/pseuds/Caffinatedkitti), [NotBrooke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotBrooke/pseuds/NotBrooke). 



> These are oneshots,incorrect quotes and Aus inspired by the comments I've left in Dapper Dresser.I was going to wait for permission from its authors first but I haven't gotten back from them.So,  
> AppleDaddyo, Caffinatedkitti, NotBrooke,please dont kill me and if you want me to take this down I will

Meet the Au  
Y/n Mange Au

Summary:The reader from Dapper Dresser dies as a child and is adopted by the Mange family.She grows up as the second princess of Hell and has a successful career as a singer and guitarist.As a siren demon she has many fans and admirers,including the radio demon who is intrigued by the first siren in hell in nearly a century.After the interview to promote her sister's new hotel doesnt go well,she decides to go to the hotel and help out.

Name:Y/n L/n(formerly)  
Y/N Mange

Age:5(at death)  
(In hell) Your/Age Y/a

Family:F/n L/n(human/biological father)  
M/n L/N (human/biological mother)  
Lucifer Mange(Adopted father)  
Lilith Mange(Adopted Mother)  
Charlotte Mange(Adopted Older sister)

Friends:Angel dust  
Husk  
Niffty  
Vaggie  
Cherri Bomb  
Velvet  
Octavia  
Fat Nuggets

Demon type:Aquatic/Siren  
Shark and Electric Eel hybrid features 

Powers:Guitars customized for combat,hydrokensis,Electrokensis,Bioluminescence, Siren's Voice,Enchanced Strength,Enchanced Speed,Toxic Blood,2 layers of demon transformation,shark tooth daggers,Voice mimicking 

Cause of death:Murdered  
Pushed of cliff,drowned,corpse scavenged by sharks and eels  
Y/n was murdered by her best friend Kyle when his father ordered him to push her off a cliff to make it seem like an accident 

Sin:Complacent to murder  
When Y/n and Kyle were playing at his house when they saw Kyle's father dragging a body.Y/n knew that if she told someone knew what he had done Kyle wouldn't have a dad anymore so she swore she wouldn't tell.Because of this heaven deemed her actions a sin and her misguided kindness ended up causing her death.

Career:Guitarist  
Voice Actress/Singer/composer for virtual Idol Sayu  
Actress in popular tv show Annie of the Stars  
Employee of Vox Entertainment

Enemies/People she dislikes:Helsa Von Eldritch  
Valentino  
Vox  
Katie Killjoy  
Alastor(she wont admit that she likes him)  
Lucifer(when he hides her guitars)  
Kyle  
Kyle's father

Fun facts:  
•She has several different guitars that she names  
•When she first landed in Hell she crashed into the garden around Mange Manor.Charlie who was there at the time had the gardener tell her father what had happened as she carried the small child to her room.  
•Y/n tends to eat other demons as part of her siren insticts.Most of the time its stalker fans who dont get the hint  
•As a siren demon she gains power through spreading the influence of Siren's Voice and cannibalism.This power is distributed through Y/n's body.Most of it is stored in her true form but in her base form and the first layer of her demon form it alters her physique.In this case it makes her taller.Y/n is as tall as Charlie in this Au,which is much more than Classic Y/n in Dapper Dresser.  
•When she first met Helsa,Y/n bite her for tormenting Charlie.Ever since Helsa has called her a feral Mortalborne.  
•She works for Vox as part of a deal Lucifer made to help launch her rock career.She hates him due to his sleazy attitude,constant demands,and dubious business practices revolving around Siren's voice


	2. Meet the Au Swap!Y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Au for swap Au.Here Vaggie is a up and coming porn star,Angel is Princess Charlie's personal bodyguard,Alastor is a new fallen deer demon who Vaggie found and took to the hotel,Husk is a charismatic bartender,Niffty is a cynical maid and Y/n is a powerful siren and Overlord of Music.Some of the demons characteristics are altered but there remains parts of their personality and/or past that match their classics.

Meet the Au  
Swap Au

Name:Y/n Kyle's last name (formerly)  
Y/n

Age:Y/a (at death and psychically)  
Y/a + 87 years(technically)

Family:F/n L/N(father)  
M/n L/n (mother)  
Kyle(husband formerly)  
Kyle's father (former father in law)

Friends:  
Alastor(she absolutely adores him.Him not so much at first but later returns her feelings)  
Rosie  
Niffty  
Husk  
Lilith  
Lucifer

Demon type:Aquatic/Siren  
Shark and Electric Eel hybrid features 

Powers:Electrokensis,Electrolocation/sensory,Electrocommunication(she uses this similarly to how Alastor broadcasts but on a much larger scale.Her "performances" are heard and shown through radios,Tv, computers,phones,ect),Hydrokenisis(Y/n use this similarly to Classic Alastor making water clones like his shadows and water tendrils like the shadow tentacles.She can also blood bend),Trident Microphone,bioluminescence,2 layers of demon form,voice mimicking,toxic blood,Enchanced Strength and Speed,Siren's voice

Cause of death:Murdered  
Drowned,bled out,still warm body devoured by shark and scraps scavenged on by Eels  
Y/n was shot when fleeing her husband and father in law,seeking help and shelter at the nearby lighthouse.It didnt kill her but she fell off the cliff the lighthouse was on.She drowned and bled out to death as sharks attracted by her blood started to swarm

Sin:Accomplaice to murder  
One night Y/n witnessed her husband killing someone who owed his father a large amount of money in their home.Paniced at what his wife had witnessed,he made her help dispose of the body and keep quiet about it.Y/n knew about Kyle's less than legal family business but after seeing him kill someone she was so shaken she left for a couple days to stay with her parents.Kyle told his father what happened and was told to dispose of Y/n and her parents incase she had told them.Y/n woke up to the gunshots that took her parents' lives and she fled from her childhood home.She ran to the lighthouse by the nearby beach in hope of getting help but Kyle shot her in the leg causing her to fall off the cliff the lighthouse was on and into the water.

Career:  
Housewife(formerly)  
Mobster's Doll(formerly)  
Overlord  
Singer  
Sponsor of the Hazbin Hotel

Enemies/demons she dislikes  
Vox  
Valentino  
Velvet  
Lilith(they are more rivals than enemies)  
Katie Killjoy("she's very disrespectful")  
Angel Dust(she isnt fond of his "family business")  
Kyle  
Kyle's father

Funfacts:  
Y/n and Alastor swap death dates in this Au.Y/n dying in 1933 while Alastor died in 2019  
•Despite being married to Kyle she never loved him outside of being childhood friends.She only married him because of the pressure of being a single woman her age in that time period along with the fact that her parents were so happy that a man they trusted and viewed as a son already was willing to take care of their little girl.They never even consummated their marriage either,as Kyle married her out of convenience and had no romantic feelings for her as well.  
•In this Au,Y/n found out about her abilities as a siren fairly quickly.After falling to hell she worked at speakeasies and she noticed how powerful she felt after she left the stage and the dazed trance the audience were left in.  
• Her performances and her way of making a show of torturing Hellborns and Sinners alike earned her the title of Siren Queen.As lazy as that is  
•Her debut in the era of the Siren Queen was at one of Valentino's gentlemen clubs when he wasn't there.Y/n disguised herself as a worker and afterwards ate every demon in the premises while they were still captivated by Siren's voice  
• Y/n doesn't do encores, seeing as she eats her live audience.She still spreads Siren's Voice from said live preformances,along with the broadcasts of her murder sprees and tormenting of chosen victims but most of her power comes from cannibalism.As such she has certain features that usually are only visable in other Y/n's true Sirenic form.Such as non retractable talons and serrated teeth with a smaller second layer hidden behind the first.

• Here are some non related Y/n facts of this Au

•Vaggie still died in 2014 but was found by Valentino rather than Charlie.She has both male and female clients but outside of work only flirts with women,particularly Charlie.Despite having a flirty and perverted persona she loses her temper when she's degraded for her job,particularly by men,especially when she's off the clock.When she gets violent with the clientele and it gets back to Val,he punishes her harshly.Why does she put up with it?Like classic Angel Val owns her and since she's only been working for Valentino for a few years rather than the 7 decades that Classic Angel has,Val is still in that "Nice" Sugar Daddy kind of mode.Which is part of his gaslighting of Vaggie into thinking shes the problem.

•Angel still died overdosing from Angel Dust(PCP) in 1947 but was found or rather found Charlie.Charlie had disguised herself to get out of the palace unnoticed and ended up on a rather rough part of hell.When some thugs tried to get rough with her not recognizing her,Angel stepped in and beat down all 4 of them.He then told her that this was no part of the pentagram for some naive princess who refused to properly defend herself.Despite that Charlie kept coming and Angel watched after her discreetly.One time some demons kidnapped Charlie to try and blackmail Lucifer and Angel was forced to kill them with Holy bullets.Afterwards Charlie asked if Angel if he'd be her official bodyguard and seeing as she was such a trouble magnet,Angel accepted.He takes protecting Charlie very seriously along with teaching her how to stick up for herself.He acts alot more like Arackniss is this Au but his true playful,funny personality of classic Angel shines through when he's with Charlie who reminds him of Molly.Angel is still gay and crossdresser but since he's not under Val's thumb it's not as revealing and more on the lines of what Molly wears.He still does drugs but lays off around Charlie.Here Fat Nuggets was gift from Charlie as a body guarding anniversary gift.

• Charlie is still happy and optimistic but thanks to Angel has a bit more of a backbone.She corrects Killjoy that shes not gay and when Killjoy gets touchy,Charlie grabs her hand off her chest and says"For someone who doesnt touch 'the gays',your getting pretty handsy.Kindly keep them to yourself before you find you dont have any."Charlie also doesnt correct Katie about calling her Charlie,because she feels like only thise close to her should call her that and everyone else should refer to her as Charlotte especially those who are disrespectful to her and those she cares about.And instead of grabbing Katie's pen and backing down slightly when Katie gets aggressive,she says"How does it feel to have my fucking fist in your face,Bitch?!"Before punching Katie and initiating the fight.Despite her crush on Vaggie she does put her foot down after the interview telling Vaggie that she still can stay in the hotel,but if she pulls another stunt like that again,she will be asked to leave the hotel untill she can take this seriously.Being with Angel has also opened her up to people's problems more and instead of Classic Charlie's time outs,this Charlie actually tries to set up proper thearphy.She still struggles with understanding but she's isnt oblivious to what people really need to improve.

• Niffty is a sarcastic cleaner who cant stand messes.When Y/n summons her from the fireplace she tells her to"put me the hell down"and quickly brushes the soot off her,"I'm a damn mess".She initially refuses to help out the hotel before seeing what a mess just the lobby is and rushes around scrubbing.She throws a fit when she first sees Fat Nuggets and she and Angel aren't on the best terms because of it.

•Husk is a rather cheerful and charismatic bartender who's warm smile and charming personality makes customers as red in the face as his Hellfire Whiskey.Angel Dust is one of those demons.He also is rather talented with cards whether its poker or magic tricks.Being as old as he is he also gives out sound advice.

• Alastor is still from New Orleans but rather than being a radio host he did podcast with some of his friends online.He died in 2019 rather than 1933 like Classic Alastor.As for why he's in hell,Alastor's father was an alcoholic and abusive to both him and his mother.When Alastor was old enough and had gotten enough to move out,he begged his mother to come with him.She agreed and the two of them began discreetly packing.The night they planned to leave his father came back from the bar early,but still heavily drunk.He saw their bags and threw a fit calling Alastor's mother a "Ungrateful bitch"and that she couldn't leave him.When he went to hit her Alastor intervened.The two fought for a while untill Alastor's father pulled out a gun and shot him.He then went and beat his wife and shot her.But in his rampage he hadn't noticed Alastor managed to get up and grab the hunting gun off the wall.Alastor fired a bullet straight through his head and crawled to his mother's body where he bled out.


	3. Meet the Au Shark in Kinky Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Au  
> Shark in Kinky boots  
> Here Y/n ended up in Hell a year before Charlie opened the hotel.Angel Dust still found her but since there was no hotel yet,he took her to Valentino.Due to her small,petite stature and her human looking form(because of course being a human fucker is a kink in Hell)Valentino agreed to hire her,if she proved herself first.He had Angel train her first as Y/n was an inexperienced virgin.Afterwards she started out simple with photo shoots and a few minor scenes in films but after Valentino finds out Y/n's a siren,she becomes Val's most popular female worker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well NotBrooke,AppleDaddyo,and Caffeinatedkitti hasn't come for my blood yet so,I guess I'll keep writing.Dont get to attached,if any of them blow the whistle I'm burning this down to the ground

Meet the Au  
Shark in Kinky boots

Name:Y/n  
Sirenix(stage name)

Age:Y/a - 1 year(at death and psychically)  
Y/a (technically)

Family:  
F/n L/N(father)  
M/n L/n(mother)

Friends:  
Angel Dust  
Cherri Bomb  
Charlie  
Molly  
Husk  
Fat Nuggets  
Lilith Mange

Demon type:Aquatic/Siren  
Shark and Electric Eel hybrid features 

Powers:Siren's voice,Electrokensis,Hydrokensis,Voice mimicking,bioluminescence,2 layer of demon transformation,toxic blood,shark tooth daggers,enhanced speed and strengths,electromagnetism (she uses his to manipulate bullets.To stop bullets from hitting her and redirecting them and in when with Angel to make sure his bullets always hit),guns(gifted by Angel),explosives(gifted by Cherri)

Cause of death:Murdered  
Thrown in the ocean,drowned,corpse eaten by sharks and eels  
Basically the same as Classic Y/n in Dapper Dresser but a year earlier.

Sin:Accomplice to murder  
Same as in Dapper Dresser,Y/n helped Kyle dispose of a body just not the same one

Career:Porn Actress  
Employee of Valentino's Porn Studio  
PR manager of the Hazbin Hotel

Enemies/demons she dislikes:  
Valentino  
Vox  
Alastor(she thinks he'll be like Val and Vox but later she sees that he's not like them)  
Vaggie(Their relationship is Frenemies like Angel and Vaggie)  
Sir Pentious (shes always willing to help Cherri deal with Sir Pent Up)

Fun facts:  
•During her trail run when Angel was training her to strip tease,pole dance,along with pleasing people(via his toy collection not with actual demons)  
•Her first time was with Angel Dust.She went to Angel the night before Valentino officially hired her.She knew while Angel was gay,she wanted to lose her virginity to someone she trusted.Its a good thing she did or else her V card would have gone to Valentino the next day.  
• Valentino found out Y/n was a siren immediately after sleeping with her.Siren's voice activates during sexual activity and brings pleasure to those who heard it.In other words it's the ultimate voice kink  
•Despite this Valentino didnt tell Y/n what she was.But she figured something was up when Valentino started having her preform in her demon form rather than her submissive looking human form.He also started giving her some strange pill  
•She later learned that she was a siren and the importance of being the first one in nearly a century six months later.Valentino had taken Y/n to an Overlord Gala as his arm candy(much to Vox's annoyance)and when she stepped away to get something to drink,Lilith approached her asking why a siren was working for someone like Valentino when so many other industries would bend over backwards to have a siren working for them  
•When Y/n displayed confusing Lilith explained that she was a siren demon and that many demons who ran the different entertainment industries of Hell would kill(quite literally)to have a siren working for them.Lilith then told Y/n how siren demons made up a large portion of singers,actresses and performers back in the day.And how Y/n was the first publicly known siren since their hellwide purge in 1925.  
•Lilith also explained the base abilities of a siren along with the downsides like the urge to eat demon flesh and the fact that female only demons like sirens can get pregnant,mortalborn or not(which led to Y/n finding out that pill Val was giving her was birth control)  
•After this Y/n started practicing activating Siren's voice intentionally.Along with discovering not only her base abilities but the ones unique to herself  
•She also used her importance as Hell's only siren against Valentino.Since Angel had stopped her from making a soul contract,Val didnt own Y/n and she could quit whenever she wanted.She played this card whenever Valentino tried to cut down her pay,taking away days off,overworking Angel,ect.Valentino sometimes gave into said demands.After all Y/n was his new cash cow and was making him as much if not more money than Angel in his hayday.Not to mention the social suicide that was being the one who let the last siren in existence slip from his grasp.And there is two things Valentino cares about its money and his reputation  
•Valentino doesnt always fall for the siren card and gets pretty mad afterwards.But seeing as Y/n's body needs to be in at least decent condition for Siren's voice to be effecient,he takes out on the other sinner working for him.  
•Afterwards Y/n uses Siren's voice to entice Val into negotiating and keeping him in a good mood.After all happy Val means he's not abusing the poor souls stuck working for him.The ones that cant leave like Y/n can.  
•Angel is pisses off at her playing martyr but understands that she isnt just doing it for him.He still hates it though and internally blames himself for dragging her into this life.  
•Vox hates Y/n as Valentino's new favorite but often tries to hire the siren under his own contract to not only boost himself up but to get her away from Val.  
•Y/n doesnt particularly like Velvet bit she doesnt hate her like the Vox and Val.Her opinion on Velvet is pure neutral  
•Alastor's interest in Y/n comes from the differences from how she is publically percieved to how she really is.To her appearance down to her personality.At first he views it as a way to entertain himself but the more he sees the real Y/n the deeper he falls.  
•Y/n goes by her stage name only letting Angel,Cherri,Lilith,Charlie,and eventually Alastor call her by her human name.  
•Similarly to classic Y/n, Sirenix Y/n doesnt remember who she was as a human and how she died outside of occasional flashbacks.But here she figures it's the least of her worries and that it doesnt really matter now that she in Hell  
•She does compare Lilith and Husk to her parents sometimes as she remembers certain traits that they shared.Even Angel sometimes triggers memories of Kyle,which conflicts Y/n as she remembers Kyle killed her.  
•Since Siren's voice is sexually activated this Y/n isnt as tall as Y/n Mange or Swap!Y/n.Instead the power gained accents her looks and womanly features to make her more attractive to prey and lure them in.As Siren's voice is more effective is the listener is attracted to the siren using it


	4. Comment page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So,I went threw my old comments and decided to put mine here for the people who haven't seen them in the 2000+ comments of Dapper Dresser.

Reader coming back from talking to God  
Reader:Hey Lucifer   
Lucifer:Yes? Reader:Your dad's an ass Lucifer(smiles)Atta girl!Have I ever told you that you have always been my favorite daughter  
Charlie:WTF dad?! 

Reader singing in the shower:La da la dada ladadada Alaastor:Wonderful darling!Absolutely wonderful voice you have  
Reader:GET THE FUCK OUT IM NAKED!

Hotel crew playing "Never have I"  
Angel:Okay,never have I died with my V-card still intact (Reader and Alastor take a shot)

Reader walks past Angel on her way to the lobby:Hi Angel   
Angel:Heya Toots  
Reader enters lobby and sees Molly who has come to visit Angel   
Reader:Angel?!But I just-you were?!Oh dear Lucifer they're Multiplying!

Reader:I really cant stay   
Alastor:But baby its cold outside  
Reader:Ive got to go away  
Alastor:But baby its cold outside  
Reader:No youre not listening!This evening has been...the very opposite of nice

Angel and reader made a bet and reader lost  
Angel walks down the stairs and sits at the bar:Come on,Doll!You lost its time ta pay up!  
Reader:(Comes downstairs in a baby pink crop sweater,white mini skirt and matching boots)How the hell do you walk in these things?!  
Angel:Lots of practice,toots.Now get to it   
Husk:(passes Angel a drink)What the hell are ya makin the kid do   
Angel:(sips alcohol)Somethin entertain just sit and watch Husky   
Reader:(Walks up to Alastor)  
Alastor:Why hello darli-   
Reader:Hi Deer Daddy~Ive been a naughty girl(trails fingers up Alastor's chest)are you gonna punish me?(turns to Angel)Alright I said it!Can I take off these fucking boots now?!My feet are killin me!   
Alastor.ex has stopped working 

Swap Au Alastor switches personalities with reader,Vaggie with Angel,Niffty swaps with Husk.And Charlie is the same  
Charlie:(opens the door and sees a tall,beautiful woman with grayish skin,(favorite color)semi translucent fins for ears,(favorite color)and blue hair decorated with pearls and seashells,dressed in in a blue mermaid dress and pearl/coral/shell jewelry and electric blue eyes)   
Reader:Hell(Charlie closes door and then re opens it)O! Charlie:slams the door and turns to Angel)Angel? Angel:What?   
Charlie:The Siren Queen is at the door! Angel/Vaggie/Alastor:What?!Who?Huh?   
Charlie:What do I do?!  
Angel:Well dont let her in!  
Charlie goes and opens the door determined Reader:May I talk now?   
Charlie:You may   
Reader:Y/n!Pleasure to meet you sweetie!Pardon my surprise interruption but I saw your diaster on the tv performance and I have to say;What a show!I havent been that intrigued since the Titanic sinking in 1912!Oh so many orphans  
Angel:Points a Tommy gun) Culo stupido figlia di puttana!I know your game!And I wont let you harm anyone here,you salty man eating Banshee!   
Reader:My dear Angelfish,if I wanted to harm someone here(Electricity swirls around reader and all lights and electronic devices flicker on and off)I would have done it already.No,Im here because I would like to offer my assistance!  
Vaggie:So whats the deal with Ariel over there? Angel:Youve never heard of her before?Youve been in hell for a while(Vaggie shrugs)The siren Queen,one of the most powerful demoness to exist in Hell? Vaggie:Never liked politicians much   
Angel:(sighs)Decades ago,Y/N manifested in Hell.She preformed at dozens of Hell's clubs and places of Entertainment.Captivating every demon who heard her song.Only to eat every last living person in the building when she was done.Then using her voice and taking on a more harmless looking human appearance she began to lure demons to her lair underwater and drown and torture them.Reviving them with her electricity to continue her torment untill she grew bored and devoured their entire being.She is a vile,dangerous sea witch who we cant get involved with unless we want to end up consumed!   
Vaggie:Ya done?Ha,she looks like a Blueberry Showgirl


	5. Comment page 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More comments

Lucifer:(picks up reader)This is mine now(runs away)  
Husk:Hey!Get back here with my kid!

Charlie:Okay,in order for us to bond more I've decided on Family Marathon night!  
Reader:Ive know something we all can watch  
(Plays Gravity Falls)  
Niffty:Oh!CUTE SWEATERS!I WANT ONE!OH I CAN MAKE US ALL SWEATERS!  
Husk:(Hears Grunkle Stan's "But her aim is gettin better "joke)Ha!It is true.Marriage is terrible  
Angel:(sees Waddles)OH MY GOD A PIG!...He aint as cute as Nuggets though.Isnt that right Nug Nug?!  
Alastor:(reaction to "Deer teeth for you kid")Oh,what an entertaining fellow!  
Vaggie:(sees Wendy fighting with her axe)I wonder if I can summon an axe  
Charlie(sees Mabeland)Is this what Heaven is like?!

Alastor:Thank you for patching up my neck Charlie   
Charlie:No problem....But how did this happen?These bite marks are pretty deep?Did someone attack you?  
Angel:Yeah it looks like a shark gotta hold of...(looks at reader who is blushing and looking away)Holy Fuck toots!You!And Him!(stops holding back laughter)  
Reader:Its not funny Angel

Alastor:Ive only known Y/N for two months but if anything ever happened to her(Loud Static glitches and screams of the damned)I'd kill everyone in Hell.(Static stops and Alastor laughs)And then myself!)

Alastor:(knocks on reader's door)Oh Darling!Im respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your significant other by coming in anyway!(Breaks down the door using Angel as a Battering ram)

Lucifer and Lilith are visiting the hotel during a blackout after learning the hotel is the only place with power.  
Lilith:How is it that you have power here Charlie dear?Electricity is out all over the Pentagram  
Charlie:Well...Y/N is powering the backup generator  
On the other side of the room reader is in her demonic form with jumper cables in her hands  
Lucifer:Oh,shes already discovered her true demonic state.(Sniffs and wipes away a fake tear)They grow up so fast.  
Alastor:Wonderful isnt it?Her transformation was so entertaining.(Lights flicker as Reader gets tired)Oh pardon me one second!It seems I have to reignite the spark!(goes up to reader and kisses her which cause electricity to spark all over her)

Reader:Angel,I think Im either really stupid or really crazy  
Angel:What did ya do this time,doll?  
Reader:Well Alastor and I went on a date per our deal,and I may have gotten a tiny little bit completely drunk.And woke up this morning wearing this(raises hand to show Angel the large engagement ring on her finger)  
Angel:...Toots,you arent stupid or crazy.YOURE FUCKIN BOTH!


	6. Child Y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's this comment scenario that led to me creating the Y/n Mange Au.Hope you enjoy

Charlie:Y/n hasnt come out of her room yet today  
Husk:What did you do this time you Radio dipshit?  
Alastor:Why Im wounded by your accusations Husker!I haven't seen my dear Angelfish since last night  
Vaggie:You want me to check on her?  
Charlie:Thank you

Vaggie:(knocks on the door)Y/n?(No response)Y/N?!(Manifests spear and opens door)What theres no one here?  
Reader:Vaggie!  
Vaggie:(looks down and sees a child Y/N no older than 6)Oh shit

Niffty:I helped Y/n get dressed in some of my clothes since hers are too big now..But even my clothes dont fit right.We should really get her something more her size.Huh Its strange not to be the smallest anymore  
Charlie:I already called my parents to see if they know whats going on.And to bring some of my old clothes over.Until then we have to keep an eye on her.If she wanders out of the hotel sh might get in trouble

Reader who is playing with Fat Nuggets while in Angel's room:(looks at Angel who's reading a magazine and walks over to him)Angel!Up!Up!  
Angel:Ugh....fine now quit it with the puppy dog pout.(picks up reader in his top set of arms)Up ya go Dolly  
Reader:Wow...(Circle of life starts playing)

Reader who is sitting on the bar counter:Juice!(grabs and open bottle of liquor)  
Husk:Whoa kid!This aint juice. And Charlie would kill me again if I let ya get drunk when youre like this.  
Reader:I want juice Husky!I want!  
Husk:(sighs and picks reader up heading towards the kitchen)Fine.Come on kid,lets see if we can find you some juice or whatever kids drink

Alastor:Hello Sea star  
Reader:....(starts crying and screaming)Scccarrrryyyyyyy!  
Vaggie:WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!  
Husk:(Pulling his ears down and holding his hands to them)FUCKIN STOP MAKIN HER CRY WITH YOUR CREPPY ASS SMILE  
Angel:OH DEAR GODS!I DONT EVEN HAVE EARS AND THEYRE BLEEDING!

Alastor:Calm down sharkling.Here have a Voodoo doll,for you dear (summons a Voodoo doll that looks like Angel with stitches and pins all over it)  
Reader:(crying intensifies.Screams begin to crack the windows,stained glass door and even the bottles at the bar)

Everyone is covering their ears in agony not able to do anything else because of reader shrieking like shes being murdered...again  
Lucifer:(Comes bursting through the door and grabs reader)There,there,Apple Seed.Daddy's got you.The scary deer man wont hurt you while Im here.(Reader cries start to die down)Did he scare you Sappling?Hes a big bad Radio demon isnt he?Isnt he?(reader stops crying and giggles a little)Daddy will protect you from the bad man,sweetie.

Lilith comes in:Hello dear.(looks around)Looks like she did quite the bit of damage.Anyway,we brought some of your old clothes Charlie.(Holds out bag of clothes)  
Lucifer:(sets reader down)Thats right(snaps fingers clothes fly out the bag and on to reader.When shes changed shes wearing a red dress with white bow around the waist and golden apples sewn on the skirt along with red flats with golden apples at the toe.A White ribbon with a red apple in the center is neatly tied in her hair)Aww!She looks just like Charlie when she was that age!Lilith can we keep her?!  
Lilith:Lucifer we cant just kidnap her because we miss having a child aro-  
Reader:Mama!  
Lilith:...Okay.  
Lucifer:YES!

Charlie:Wait,you cant just take Y/n especially since we dont know when this will wear off!  
Lucifer:I believe thats up for Y/N to decide  
Lilith and Lucifer:Come live with us in the palace🎵Theres a room waiting for you🎶  
Lucifer:Come on🎵  
Lilith:Come on🎵  
Lucifer and Lilith:Come on~Just let us adore you🎶Yes we know that your not her (gestures to Charlie)but you were hers🎵You know what it meant to love her and you remind us so much of her🎶  
Charlie:Thats from Steven Universe the movie.How do you know that song  
Lucifer:We watched it last time Y/n was home.Cuz she actually visits her parents unlike a certain other daughter of ours  
Alastor:Well its not like she'll be going with you right Darling  
Reader:(steps toward Lilith and Lucifer)Today,Right here right now🎵I'll love again Ive already found someone  
Alastor:(top 10 anime betrayals)  
Lilith and Lucifer:Just let us adore you  
Reader:Today right here right now🎶I'll love again Ive already found someone  
Lucifer and Lilith:Come live with us in the palace🎶Theres a room waiting for you~Come on come on come on🎶Just let us adore you  
Reader:Yes I know that youre not her and I was hers.You know what it meant to love her🎵And you remind me so much of her(gets picked up and held between Lilith and Lucifer's arms  
Lucifer/Lilith/Reader:Today,right here right now🎵We'll love again🎶We've already found someone(hugs)


	7. Y/n Mange Au

Y/n Mange Au

Lilith:Charlie dear have you seen your father?  
Charlie:No,but maybe Y/n has seen him  
Lilith and Charlie go to reader's room and open the door to see Lucifer sitting at Reader's tiny tea table with a pink boa around his neck.Mind you reader is like 7 here.  
Reader:More tea daddy?  
Lucifer:Of course Apple Dumpling  
Lilith:Lucifer what are you doing(holding back laughter  
Lucifer:Lilith?!Im,Im spending time with my daughter  
Charlie:(inspects the "tea")Is that Apple juice?  
Lucifer:She could burn herself with real tea!

Lucifer scolding Reader after she wandered off and got lost in the city(shes still a kid):Now what you did was stupid and reckless and you should never do it again.Now,tell daddy how many people you maimed  
Reader:(giggles)27!

Reader:Daddy!Look look!(points to a guitar)I want one!I want that one!  
Lucifer:Honeycrisp,wouldnt you like a more refined instrument like a fiddle  
Reader:(pouts)I Want The Guitar!I want it!  
Lucifer:Enough with the pouting y/n,its very unbecoming.My answer is no  
Reader:MOOOOMMMM!  
Lucifer:Devious little thing...Fine.You can have your guitar but thats it.No more Mr.Pushover(snaps fingers and summons baby Hellhound)Now who wants a puppy?  
Reader:(gasps)I DO!I DO!

Right before the pilot

Reader:Charlie is not a failure!  
Lucifer:She acts nothing like a true demon or how the future ruler of Hell should be  
Reader:1,Jackass she not a true demon shes half Angel.Or have you forgotten she gets that from YOUR side of the family?2,shes the daughter of two people who rebelled against God!She is doing exactly what you and mom did!Fighting the power!Going against the Big Man!And in this case thats you Old Man!We dont like the way you run things down here!  
Lucifer:...Am I really being like my father here,Lilith  
Lilith:The resemblance is there sweetheart

Reader:Im meeting a business partner.So dont follow me and fuck this up for me  
Alastor:Who is your business partner?  
Reader:Vox  
Alastor:(record scratch)What?!  
Reader:Vox airs all of my live concerts.On tv anyway.My manager aka my dad) made the arrangements with him.But fans usually record them and put them online.Im going to talk to him about airing a concert here at the hotel for some publicity.And I dont need your bullshit pissing contest on who is the better media themed Overlord fucking this up for my sister's dream.

The Manges get lost from their cabin on a family camping trip

Lucifer:So you say you got a patch for leading people through a jungle?  
But I've got a prescription for this anti-fungal.  
So I win!  
Y/n: How is that winning?  
Lucifer: I'm just saying I'm prepared.  
Y/n: Undecided whether I should feel  
Disturbed or scared.

Lucifer: I'm older and bolder,  
Got this ache in my shoulder  
I keep my medical records  
In this manila folder.  
Y/n: Meaning?  
Lucifer: Just that I lived more.  
Y/n: But I've got a better feelin' for the great outdoors.

Lucifer: (boop Y/n's nose before taking her hat and twirling it around)Ya think ya know just what to do,  
But I've got a ton more experience than you,  
In adulting!  
Y/n: Is that what it's called?  
Lucifer: I know you don't know what I mean,  
But you're not gonna know it till ya turn eighteen.(plays with Y/n's hat a bit more before throwing it back on her head)  
It's called "adulting"!  
Y/n: That's not a verb.

Lucifer: When you're no longer a private, you're a sarge!  
You're all grown up and you're livin' large!  
Ya get to be the one in charge!(sees a large demon bug crawling on his arm)  
Get it off of me! Get it off of me! (Smacks the bug down and does back to dancing)It's called adulting!  
Y/n: It's still not a verb.  
Lucifer: Come on, back me up, Lil.  
Lilith: It's not a verb.  
Lucifer: Whatever.

Y/n:(pulls out her Hellfire Girl Scouts sash and starts pointing to her patches) Can you read a compass?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Or start a fire?  
Lucifer:No.  
Y/n: Build a shelter?  
Lucifer:No.  
Y/n: Or change a tire?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Dig a hole?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Pitch a tent?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Navigate?  
Lucifer:No.  
Y/n: Circumvent?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Chop a tree?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Build a snare?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Catch a fish?  
Lucifer: No.  
Y/n: Fight a bear?  
Lucifer: No.

Y/n: Now I think our only care,  
And I think this question is really fair,  
Is can you get us from here to there?(draws an X in the dirt to represent their location and then draws the Mange Log cabin with a dotted line between the two)  
Lucifer: Absolutely!  
Y/n: You can? How?

Lucifer: By adulting!Yes, adulting!  
Charlie: He makes a salient point.(dancing along)  
Y/n: Charlie!  
Lucifer: I'm adulting!  
Charlie: What? He sounds authoritative.  
Lucifer: 'Cause I'm adulting!  
I'm an adult!


	8. Y/n Mange Au

Y/n Mange au

Baby Y/n Mange version of Jack Jack Attack with I.M.P. babysitting   
Lucifer:I forgot that my daughter is on a date tonight so I didnt have time to look for an actual babysitter.Dont screw this the fuck up  
Lilith:If anything happens just call the number on the fridge  
Lucifer:And if we come back and if anything is wrong with my daughter,you'll beg for my Father to put you out of your misery.Am I clear?  
Blitzo:Very,your highness  
Lucifer:Okay,sapling!Mommy and Daddy will be back soon!  
Blitzo:Easiest job ever.You can just handle this Moxxie Im gonna sit and catch some Tv  
Moxxie:(Gets flashcards,xylophone and turns on Mozart)Who's ready for some neurological stimulation?Wha-(sees reader is gone)  
Blitzo:You lost her already?!Lucifer is gonna(hears reader laughing and sees reader on kitchen table)Oh,who's the goo goo baby!Wheres the hiding?(moves vase only to see that reader is next to the fridge drinking from a bottle)Okay,that it weird  
Moxxie:Maybe I should call Mrs.Mange(calls Lilith)Mrs.Mange,this is Moxxie.I have a question about Y/N?Can you call me?(sees Y/n is gone again)Aahh!  
Moxxie:Y/n,baby?Where are you?!(gets hit with milk fron the ceiling  
Blitzo:(laughs)  
A few hours later  
Moxxie and Blitzo are disheveled and an angry y/n is trapped in an upside down playpen with a hand drawn 'Baby Jail' sign on it  
Moxxie:Mrs.Mange!Y/n is fine but weird things are happening and you need to tell me what to do  
Blitzo:Moxxie shes chewing the bars!EVERYTHING IS NOT FINE!FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR HUSBAND!ANSWER YOUR PHONE WOMAN!  
Blitzo and Moxxie see that Y/n has chewed her way out her playpen and is now on a high shelf.They go to catch her as she falls but she phases right through the floor.They proceed to chase the floating baby around the Mange Manor before catching her.  
Moxxie:Okay,time to calm things down a bit.With flashcards.Wont that be fun?!Triangle, House, Lightning bolt.Wahhh! (Reader transforms and gets all sparky)  
Blitzo:Electrical baby!Electrical baby!(Catches reader with fireplace tools and then goes to bathroom and drops her in tub)Good Baby Nice Baby!  
Moxxie:Sir wait,water generates elec-  
Blitzo:(screams while electrocuted)

Mange family are at the pool inside the castle  
Reader:Yay!Canon ball!(jumps into water and then eminates a glow)....What are you all staring at  
Charlie:Y/n,you dont have legs  
Reader:(looks down)Huh,would you look at that  
Lilith:(sees the electric sparks coming from Y/n's Eel tail)Maybe we shouldnt go in the water  
Lucifer:Nonsense Lilith,a few sparks never killed anYyoNnEe!(steps into pool only to get electrocuted)

Reader getting braces  
Reader:I downt wike dem!Dentwists are evbil!That why dey all go ta Hell!  
Lucifer:I know sweetheart.But since you were a good girl and only bit two fingers off the dentist I got you a present!(Gives reader a bag with a goldfish in it)  
Reader:FISHY!FISHY!FISHY!...Fishy?WAKE UP!(starts shaking the bag)FISHY,GET UP!WHY ARE YOU SLEEPY?!FIIISSSHYY!

Older Reader asking Lilith for advise on what to do about Alastor who keeps breaking into her dressing room and leaving "gifts"  
Reader:What should I do Mom?Any other Stalker fan I would just eat when they got to creepy.But this is the Radio Demon we're talking about  
Lilith:Ive had my own fair share of admirers dear,including your father.Certain demons have different ways of courting than humans do.Some more off putting than others.I once stabbed your father through the chest and he pulled his heart out saying"If you wanted to have my heart that badly,Apple Crisp all you had to do was tell me"

Reader:Alastor and I's relationship is just like Mom and Dad.You wouldnt expect it but the women call the shots  
Lucifer:That is not true  
Lilith:Lucifer come here  
Lucifer:Yes dear  
Reader:My point exactly

When Lilith had Lucifer and Reader's heads underwater for waking her up  
Lilith:(Pulls them up)Have you learned your lesson?  
Reader:Jokes on you mother!I have gills!I dont need air!Air is for quitters!And you didnt raise no quitter!I dont need it!I dont need it!

Lucifer:What are the 5 rules Daddy's taught you Apple Brown Betty  
Reader:My name isnt Betty its Y/n...1,Grandpa is an asshole  
Lucifer:Its the name of a dessert sweetie.Two?  
Reader:Dont take shit from other demons  
Lucifer:Thats right,three?  
Reader:Dont wake mom up before 7 o clock  
Lucifer:(shivers)Never forget that one again Sapling.Now number 4  
Reader:If anyone tries to bad touch me I bite their dick off  
Lucifer:Good,good.And 5  
Reader:Dont eat apples from strangers unless they take a bite first and they arent a type of demon who are immune to poisons.  
Lucifer:Thats my girl

Reader:(Playing Acoustics guitar will Charlie sings Always chasing Rainbows

Lucifer:The Radio Demon wants to marry my daughter?!  
Reader:Now hes gonna kick Al's ass(smirks)  
Lucifer:Daddy's gonna have such strong grandbabies!  
Reader:What?No!Mom talk some sense into him!  
Lilith:Mama wants grandbabies  
Reader:Charlie...Please tell me your not on board with this  
Charlie:Im gonna be an aunt!  
Reader:Im the only sane one in a world gone mad  
Husk:Welcome to the club.We've got jackets


	9. We are the Gem Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of one shots I made about Dapper Dresser taking place in a Steven Universe Au.Alastor is White but his gem is a red 5 sided diamond in this chest,Angel is Yellow but has a four sided Fushcia diamond in this chest,Charlie is Blue but has a four sided white diamond in her navel and reader is pink but has a blue/favorite color five sided diamond on her back.Husk is Crystal gem Pearl with his red pearl on his chest,Vaggie is Charlie's Pearl with her white colored pearl on her navel,Molly is Angel's pearl with her lighter pink pearl on her chest,Niffty is Alastor's with her (f/c) pearl located on her back ,Cherri is a Carnelian who takes the role of crystal gem Amethyst and Lilith(who is a white sapphire)and Lucifer (a ruby)fuse Lilifer who is our Garnet.

Charlie is at Y/n's human zoo looking at hundreds of blue gems in bubbles and cries.The door opens and Angel Diamond walks into the room.Molly Pearl stands next to Vaggie Pearl.  
Angel:Please tell me ya jokin.Ya just left and yer already back?  
Charlie:Angel!(quickly wipes her face)Wh-what are you doing here?!  
Angel:Im here ta bring ya back to reality Charlie  
Charlie:Im fine just leave me alone  
Angel:Its been thousand of years Charlie and ya still cant destroy these gems?She was shattered by a Aqua Quartz!The whole batcha gems deserves the same fate!  
Charlie:But they were hers  
Angel:They should be shards,not kept safe in bubbles  
Charlie:Angel she made them.This is all we have left of her.These gems,this place and the Earth  
Angel:I thought we agreed that we need to put that planet and this diaster behind us?  
Charlie:Why cant you just let me grieve?(tears leak out Charlie's eyes)  
Angel:Ya cant just keep comin here forever!  
Charlie:WHY NOT?!  
Angel:(sighs)Molly,Vaggie,sing for her.Make her feel better  
Molly:Yes my diamond!Ahem.(Elbows Vaggie)AHEM!  
Vaggie:...Ugh  
Vaggie/Molly:Aaahhahaaahhhaaaahhahahahahaa  
Angel:Why do ya wanna be here?What do ya even see here,that doesnt already make ya feel worst than you do?So tell me whats the use in feelin blue?Why would ya wanna employ her subjects that destroyed her🎵Why keep up her silly zoo?Oh tell me what the use in feelin blue?An army has a use it can go and fight a war.A sapphire has a use they can tell ya what its for.An agate terrifies a lapis terraforms.Wheres their diamond when they need her Charlie?Ya gotta be a leader Charlie!Yes of course we still love her and we're always thinkin of her.But now theres nothin we can do🎵Whats the use in feelin,whats the use of feelin ,whats the use in feelin blue?Oh how can ya stand ta be here with it all(extends a hand for the Pearl's to get on)  
Molly/Vaggie:Here with it all(walk on the diamond's hand)  
Vaggie/Molly/Angel:Drownin in all this regret wouldnt ya rather forget,her?Oh  
Angel:Would it be great ta get rid of it all  
Molly/Vaggie rid of it all🎶  
Angel/Molly/Vaggie:Lets make a plan of attack🎶  
Angel:Start lookin foward and stop lookin back🎵Oh yes oh couse we still love her and we're always thinkin of her🎶Don't ya know I miss her too?!...But tell me...Whats the use of feelin?Whats the use in feelin?WHATS THE USE IN FEELIN?!...Hhmmmhmmmhmmmmm  
Charlie:(stands up and puts a hand on Angel's back)

Y/N Diamond is in her room juggling while Niffty watches  
Reader:Tada  
Niffty:Yay!(claps)  
Reader:Wait for it...(jumps and floats)and sticks the landing(blows kiss)  
Niffty:(Claps then stops as large footsteps approaches)Oh no!Its Angel Diamond!  
Door opens and Angel walks in and leans down to see Y/n in front of a mirror,poised.While Niffty is adjusting y/n's dress before acknowledging Angel with a diamond salute  
Reader:Hi Angel!  
Angel grins slightly and takes his leave  
Reader/Niffty:(Laughs)

Y/n Diamond with Angel Diamond at one of his Moon bases  
Reader:Anngeelll!Hey Angel!  
Angel:Oh,ya still here.  
Reader:What are you doing  
Angel:Im comandin the drop ship ta colonize this planet  
Reader:I wanna command a drop ship!  
Angel:Well when ya have ya own colony,ya can command whateva ya want.  
Reader:I want a colony!  
Angel:(looks over at reader before going back to his screens and pressing in the diamond code.Red Fuschia,while and then (f/c))  
Reader:I want one now!(looks at screen)Oh whats this?  
Angel:Im contactin the leader of the fleet  
Reader:💎 Lets me do it 🌟(starts randomly pressing the screen)  
Angel:(grabs reader's arm with one of his lower sets of arms)DONT TOUCH THAT!  
Reader:(pulls arm away)Why not?!You have so many worlds and I dont even have one!Its not fair!I.WANT.ONE!(Stomps)I WANT MY OWN ARMY!(Stomps)I WANT MY OWN PLANET!(stomps)I DESERVE IT!IM JUST AS IMPORTANT AS YOU!  
Agel:THEN WHY DONT YA ACT LIKE IT,Y/N?!  
Reader:(stomps off before looking at one of the glass walls and punching it)

When Y/n,the crystal gems and the diamonds arrive to Homeworld to speak with Alastor about healing the corrupted gems  
A black bubble with an ominous red glow comes from Alastor's ship and lands on the landing platform for Y/n's ship.The bubble fades and a red pearl emerges from inside  
Charlie:Its Alastor's pearl  
Niffty:Y/N Diamond.Your presence is required.  
Angel:Come on Charlie(takes a step foward)  
Niffty:Only Y/N Diamond's presence is neccessary(robotically turns to Y/n)  
Y/n:Niffty I-(gets cut off by the same bubble circling her and Niffty and flying off to Alastor's ship.  
When they arrive inside the bubble retracts and Niffty slides backwards and leaves.Y/n reaches out to her before a voice she's been dreading of hearing again calls out  
Alastor:There you are!Hello Starlight!You certainly gave everyone a scare.Theyre all just thrilled to see you safe and sound.As for this lastest little game of yours,thank the stars its over.Did you have fun?Did you get everything out of your system?Good,good.Everyone is so relieved.Welcome home Y/n.


	10. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N.Here her usual work clothes are a (favorite color) laced cami that shows her midriff, a blue and f/c striped jacket,black sequined mini skirt, blue spike heel boots, (f/c) pearl earrings, and a black choker with a (f/c) bow on the front.Her hair is always curled and in a high ponytail,decorated with small blue sea star and shell shaped accessories and dyed with f/c streaks.She wears Blue eyeshadow,black or (f/c) lip gloss and paints her nails f/c.Off the clock she wears more comfortable clothes like sweaters,hoodie dressed,sweatpants and cargo pants,denim jeans and the like.At the hotel she doesnt wear boots and is several inches shorter than Vaggie when shes not.Her hair is down with only one or two clips to keep it out her face(In part of her body being "more attractive" to lure prey her hair is much longer than any of the other Y/ns).The make up is gone except the nail polish.  
> Despite being very sought after in her line of work she doesnt particularly like it.So when Charlie approaches her and Angel about the Happy Hotel,shes all for it to get away from the studio

Shark in kinky Boots Au

Angel and Reader get out a car after being dropped off by their lastest john  
Thank for the fun time sweet thangs  
Angel:Yeah, yeah listen.Keep this discreet will ya?  
Reader:We cant let people know that we're offering our services to randos off the street.It was a quick cash grab,got it?  
Whatever you say,Sluts!  
Reader:Oh,ouch!What an insult!Like we havent heard that one before,dumbass  
Angel:Let us know when ya come up with somethin creative ta call us,you poorly packaged pile of horse shit!  
Reader:💋 Tell the missus we said "hi",Snookums  
After he angrily drives off Angel goes to a vending machine and gets PCP.  
Reader:Really,your supposed to lay off the drugs  
Angel:Ya know I need the Dust,Doll.And I have been behavin so let me cheat okay toots

During the Interview and the Turf War

Charlie:None other than Angel Dust and Sirenix  
Tom:..The Porn stars?  
Katie:You fucking would Tom.Anyway you could get those hookers to do anything with enough booger sugar,booze and lube  
Charlie:I beg to differ.Theyve been clean,well behaved and out of trouble for two weeks  
Katie:News has it theres two new players in the on going turf war!Lets go to the live feed  
Angel and Reader are throwing bombs at Egg Boys  
Charlie:Oh shit  
Katie:Oh shit indeed!The newcomers to the turf war are none other than Porn Actors Angel Dust and Sirenix!

Cherri:Hey thanka for the back up Angie,(nickname)  
Angel:Are ya kiddin me?This is the best action we've seen in ages!  
Cherri:Where have you been anyway?Thought you two up and died or something  
Reader:(lights a bomb before handing it to Cherri)Oh we wish!We've been staying at this shitty hotel across town.Some chicks are letting us stay rent free if we play nice  
Angel:No fights  
Reader:No pranks  
Angel:No problematic language  
Reader:Her words,not ours.These crazy bitches are no fun!We've been clean for two weeks  
Cherri:Holy Shit  
Angel:Well sorta clean.As clean as you can get with a shit load of Bolvian Marchin Powder

Its reader's day off and shes in more casual clothing.

Favorite color hoodie dress with a shark fin attached to the hood,cute black and blue mermaid tights,hair down naturally held back by a blue headband with a bubble pattern,black flats, and (f/c) star earrings.She isnt wearing any make up and without her boots shes significantly shorter.

Reader:Walks down the stairs and into Lobby  
Vaggie:(summons spear)Who the fuck are y-wait?Sirenix?!  
Reader:No its the tooth fairy.Yes its me!Ya know considering there isnt any other siren in Hell let alone this hotel.It's my day off from the studio so I dont have to be all dolled up for a client or shoot or something.This is what I wear when Im off the clock  
Charlie:Oh my gosh youre so small!Like a little slice of pie!  
Reader:(groans annoyed)I wear boots for a reason Dollface.Go ahead yuck it up!  
Charlie:Oh Im not laughing you look really cute Sirenix! Its so different from what you usually wear!  
Husk:Ya look like an actual kid now kid  
Reader:Hey!I aint that short,Old Alley Cat  
Angel:Sorry ta break it to ya toots but ya are.You barely reach where my third set of arms are without your boots.Dont worry,Im sure Strawberry Pimp likes short girls.Makes ya look more like unsuspectin prey  
Reader:Yes cuz thats so reassuring Angel.And Im not prey!If anything he is!See these teeth!I am a lean mean man eating shark siren!  
Alastor:(Coos)Youre so adorable insecure little Siren!And while its still not what I would prefer you in,I rather like your casual clothes compared to the ones you wear for...work.  
Reader:Oh really?What would ya like to dress me up in Big Bad Voodoo Daddy?Or would you rather I have nothing at all  
Alastor:(confused asexual noises)...I dont like this anymore.Im leaving(teleports out the room)  
Reader:Thank God,I thought he'd never leave.I dont wanna be around any Overlords on my day off


	11. Swap Y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more swap Y/n

Swap!Au

Y/n:No I'm here because I want to help.  
Charlie:...What?  
Y/n:Help!(Summons her trident and tap the microphone at the end)Hello?Is this thing functioning properly?  
Trident Mic:Well I heard you fine  
Charlie:Help with what exactly?  
Y/n:This ridiculous project you're attempting.This hotel,I want to help you run it  
Charlie:But why?  
Y/n:Why does anyone do anything?Boredom!Ive lacked any muse for years.My work has become dull,repeated like a broken record!(Y/n makes dramatic gestures as she talks and ends up smacking her arm into Angel's face)Its gotten to the point Lilith is getting better audience feedback and is making a comeback!  
Angel:(rubbing where Y/n's hand hit his face)Probably helps she doesnt eat her live audience   
Y/n:So I've decided to seek out a new muse to inspire me!(laughs)  
Charlie:Is getting into a fist fight with a reporter count as inspiration?  
Y/n:(laughs)Why dear child,its the purest kind.Reality!True passion!After all they say the world is your oyster  
Charlie:So you think its possible to rehabilitate a demon to heaven?  
Y/n:(waves her hand before laughing)Of course I dont!Oh my dear sweet child,redemption?!Oh the inhumanity!There is nothing in any realm that could save such loathsome sinners.Redemption is just a cautionary tale the living use to keep the youth from misbehaving.There is no saving anyone from what they have done.Especially not the ones who ended up here.  
Charlie:Then why do you want to help me if you dont believe in my cause?  
Y/n:Consider it an investment in my muse.Whats more inspiring than watching the sea scum of this world struggle to climb the cliffs to betterment only to be washed away and sink back into the cold,dark abyss of failure.  
Charlie:Right....  
Y/n:Yes,big things are coming for you,darling.And who is better to help you than I?

Angel:Charlie,ya cant trust her.She ain't like ya Ma.She's a dealmaker,pure evil.And she's probably looking for a way to ruin everything you're working for  
Charlie:I know that she probably doesn't want to change.But the point of all this is to give people a chance and have faith things will get better.I cant turn her away it goes against everything I'm trying to do.Trust me,I can handle an Overlord  
Angel:(sighs)Alright.I'll trust ya this one Chuckles.But,just be careful.And dont let her smooth talk ya into any deals.Ya ain't exactly immune to Siren's voice like ya Pops  
Charlie:Dont worry,I can handle myself.You taught me that remember?  
Angel:(smiles and ruffles Charlie's hair)Go hook that fish,kiddo  
Charlie:(walks up to Y/n)So Y/n,your fucking sketchy and see my project as a joke.(As she turns around Y/n's smile becomes a little too sharp.Another layer of teeth visible and her eyes taking on an electric blue glow.Shs turns back to normal as Charlie faces her again)But I dont.I think every person should have the choice to be better.So I'm taking your offer to help,as long as there are no siren brainwashing tricks attached,okay?

Y/n snaps her fingers and sparks form a contract.An old fashioned pen appears in Charlie's hand but instead of feathers there is squid tentacles.At the bottom of the scroll is an X and a line where Charlie assumes Y/n wants her to sign.  
Y/n:So do we have a deal,princess?  
Charlie:(drops pen and waves the contract away making it turn into water and evaporate)No!No deals,no signing!...As Princess and heir of Hell,I nearby order you to help with this hotel.As long as you so desire to.Sounds good?  
Y/n:Hmmm,fair enough  
Charlie:Cool  
Y/n walks around the lobby for a moment stopping at Angel.She puts her hand and tickles his chin pulling back a moment before Angel attempted to bite her finger.  
Y/n:You really should frown so much,Angelfish.Youre face will get stuck like that(walls back to Charlie.)So where is your hotel staff?  
Charlie:Well...(features to Angel who is glaring daggers at Y/n)  
Y/n:Sweetie,you're going to need more than that.(walks to Vaggie)And what can you do my dear?  
Vaggie:I can eat your pussy  
Y/n:No.  
Vaggie:Your loss  
Y/n:(walks up to Alastor)And what about you my deer fellow?  
Alastor:Um,well...I'm just a guest here  
Y/n:(poke Alastor's chest where he feels a small shock)Then why does it say "staff" on your attire?  
Sure enough where Alastor had felt a spark there was a pin that read staff of his vest.He stuttered for a moment and looked at Charlie who smiled at him.Feeling reassured he collected himself.  
Alastor:Well,my mother taught me to cook,so I think I'm pretty good at it  
Y/n:A man who can cook?My,for all the ways the living world stays the same so does it change.But I wont let anyone cook in a dirty kitchen.I suppose I could call in a few favors to bring some life into this establishment.

Y/n snaps her fingers and sparks light up the fire place before it goes out.She then grabs the small demon covered in soot.  
Y/n:This little darling is Niffty  
NifftyPut me the hell down.(gets dropped and brushes the soot off here)I'm a damn mess.(points at Y/n)You!  
Y/n:Nift,my good friend!  
Niffty:Dont you "Nift" me you bitch!I was in the middle of something   
Y/n:Good to see you too,dear.Reading romance novels again?  
Niffty:...Yes....(runs a hand down her face)What the fuck do ya want with me this time?  
Y/n:Well my friend,I am doing some charity work and took it upon myself to volunteer your services.I hope that's alright?  
Niffty:You think it's some God Damn joke to pull me outta no where?!Do I look like a fucking clown?!  
Y/n:Maybe  
Niffty:I ain't cleaning anyth-(looks at the lobby)Damn it(starts running around aggressively dusting,wiping and disinfecting things)This place is fucking filthy.How is this place such a train wreck when there are three women and only one guy?Then again God forbid Princess over there ever move a fucking finger to clean.Damn royals...  
Satisfied that the cleaning is taken care of,Y/n snaps her hands again and cat demon appears and puts down a handful of cards  
Husk:Read them and weep boys,full... house?Hello Y/n  
Y/n:Hello to you too,Husker.Such a warmer welcome than Nift over there(Niffty stops cleaning to give Y/n the middle finger before getting back to it)  
Husk:Well,I guess I've cleaned enough pockets out tonight.What do ya need,Y/n  
Y/n:I'm assisting a little project and I though of no one better to run the front desk than you.With your charming personality and welcoming smile,this job was made for you.Dont worry old friend,I can make this more accommodating if you wish(waves hand and water appears before turning into a flask of whiskey)  
Husk:You think you can buy me with a wink and some good whiskey?Well you can.(takes the flask off table)

Angel goes up to complain about a bar being in a place that discourages sin but stops when Husk smiles at him.  
Husk:Name's Husk.What can I do ya for?  
Angel:(flustered gay noises)  
Charlie:Welcome to the Happy Hotel!You are gonna love it here!  
Husk:(chuckles)I'm sure I will Princess.Im sure I will.(winks at Angel)  
Angel:(more flustered gay noises)  
Y/n:So what do you think,dear?  
Charlie:This is awesome!  
Y/n:(pulls Charlie close to her and chuckles)This is going to be very entertaining


	12. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n Mange Au with the I.M.P Crew

Y/n Mange is in Imp City.She walks up to I.M.P. and goes up to the main office.  
Y/n:Hello?  
Moxxie:Princess Y/n?!What are you doing here?  
Y/n:(raises eyebrow)I made an appointment?  
Loona:Oh yeah.Forgot to mention princess called  
Moxxie:This is the exact kind of thing you're supposed to tell people!How could you 'forget' that one of the Princesses of Hell scheduled an appointment?!(goes and starts knocking on Blitzo's locked door)Sir!We have a very important guest!  
Blitzo:Kind of busy Mox,if its Stolas just tell him I'm not here  
Millie:Princess Y/n!I'm such a big fan(hold up a concert poster of Y/n and a CD labeled Currents of Love)Could you sign these  
Y/n:(eye twitches lightly at the sight of that stupid EDM song but quickly smiles)Thanks.I'd be happy to.(Signs the poster with 'Y/N Mange☆' and the CD with 'Sayu♡ Pyun!')  
Moxxie:Sir!You really need to come out!Y/n Mange came all the way to see you!  
Blitzo:(slams open the door with Moxxie behind it)Princess Y/n!What can we at I.M.P do for you today?  
Y/n:Well,I need you to kill someone .But more than that I need you to take me to the human world  
Moxxie:...Does your father know about this?  
Y/n:No.And I'd like it to stay that way.If dad ever found out I went back to the human world,even temporarily,I'd be grounded for the rest of my afterlife.Or he'd make good on his threat to arrange a marriage between me and Alastor.Either way,not happening  
Blitzo:Yeah,no can do princess.You see,even though your daddy's favorite I'm not going to risk facing his wrath if he ever finds out we took you to the living world.And there's nothing you can do to make us do otherwise.  
Y/n:There is no favorite.And watch it,I think you all remember what happened last time Eels were in this building?(Sparks up hands a bit)But if the large payment from my Golden Apple credit card isnt enough for you,what if I could get Uncle Stolas off your ass?  
Blitzo:I'm listening  
Y/n:Uncle Stolas keeps using his grimoire as the reason to keep his affair with you.If you dont need it anymore you dont need to keep fucking him to use it.I'll even return it to him myself so you dont have to deal with him  
Blitzo:Sounds nice and all princess,but we do need that book.You know seeing it's our way to the mortal realm  
Y/n:I cant give you the Mange family grimoire for the same reason I cant just do this myself.Dad would know its missing.But,I can give you this one.(pulls out a red book with black Voodoo symbols)This is the one Alastor was given by Dad when he officially became an overlord.But he never uses the thing so I asked him if I could have it.He said yes in exchange for a..."date"....Anyways do this job right and it's yours to keep.Which means you dont need Uncle Stolas' book which means no more clingy bird dick.Sound good?  
Blitzo:You've got yourself a deal Princess!(goes to shake the siren's hand but hesitates when he sees it sparking)Uh,that's not going to hurt right?  
Y/n:Nothing more than a small jolt.So,do we have a deal?  
Blitzo:(shakes hand)Deal!  
Later in the human world  
Y/n:Okay,this is the place.For now all you have to do is capture the targets,then meet me here(hands Millie a flyer that reads Splish Splash Aquarium)  
Moxxie:I'm not sure I'm okay with this.Its one thing to kill our target but to kidnap two people for Princess Y/n to torture?  
Blitzo:Ugh,Mox we've been over this.Do you remember what happened with that crazy cannibal bitch and her family?  
Y/n:If it makes you feel better,they definitely deserve it.They're the kind of people to kill a 5 year old and make it look like an accident.For (insert the amount of years Y/n has been dead) years they've gotten away with it.So I've gotta rely on more murderous methods.Besides there are two people who need to know the truth.So I'll go next door and use Siren Voice to keep them from hearing any struggling.And I want to see them again too.  
Millie:Who are they Princess Y/n?  
Y/n:My parents.  
Blitzo:But...Lucifer and Lilith are your parents   
Y/n :My human parents dumbass.I know theres not a chance in Hell they'll end up there so this is my only chance to see them.They should know what really happened to their little girl.(pulls out an envelope with an apple wax seal and a scrapbook clearly decorated by Charlie,covered in stickers and with her name in glitter)And for them to see how she grew up.  
Moxxie:Awww  
Blitzo:Alright,so sweet,let's get to work(pulls out a sack)Millie you got the chloroform?  
Millie:Yup!  
Moxxie:And I have the ropes,sir.  
Blitzo:Nice.Now let's nab us a couple of bastards  
Y/n:Oh,one more thing.Kyle's dad has several guns in that house and he knows how to use them.Be careful,alright?Bye!(runs off to her parents home)  
Blitzo:Wait,what?!(sighs)I've really gotta start charging a collateral fee...Come on Blitzo its get rid of Stolas,its to get rid if Stolas...


	13. Behold the other Au-inator!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baxter has created a Alternate Dimension-inator in the classic world of Dapper Dresser.But due to a malfunction Y/n is now trapped in the body of one of her alternate selves.Back in the Classic world,Baxter is working hard to bring her back or face enternal torture from the Radio Demon.

The hazbin crew is gathered in Baxter's laboratory to see his latest invention.Baxter is standing next to a large machine covered in tarp  
Baxter:BEHOLD!(pulls tarp off)THE ALTERNATE DIMENSION-INATOR!...Beholding,beholding...Okay you may bask in awe  
Charlie:Baxter this looks so impressive!So,what does it do?  
Baxter:Does the the name Alternate dimension-inator not make it obvious?It opens portals to alternative realities.Univeres like our own but with differences whether the be minuscule or cosmic proportions.(gestures to large monitor)Once its activated,this computer tracks,monitors and records the different realities the Alternate dimension-inator has made portals to.That way I can control where the Alternate dimension-inator opens portals to.(Pulls out remote)And of course this remote is what activates the Alternate dimens-(remote gets snatched from his hand)Cryimini!Give me that back!

Baxter and Crymini fight over the remote making it fire rays and open multiple portals.One of these rays hit Y/n and instead of opening a portal Y/n glows green before warping.  
Charlie:Y/n!  
Baxter:(grabs the remote from Crymini)Now look what you've done!This is quite unfortunate.Ive lost one of my favorite research subjects.Rediscovering the abilities of sirens was such a fascinating project too...(noticed Crymini looking scared and backing away from him.Turns around to see a very angry partially transformed Alastor)  
Alastor:(static)Bring.Her.Back.  
Baxter:But,but the Alternate dimension-inator isnt made to bring or send things to other dimensions!E-even if it could,with all the portals just opened!It would take weeks to sort through all the different universes and track down the one she went to!  
Alastor:Then do it.If you dont bring my darling back safe and in one piece,you'll wish that I would kill you.

Meanwhile in the other dimension with Y/n  
Y/n wakes up dazed and with a headache.She realises she is no longer in the lab and is in a well decorated bedroom.There is large pale blue Vanity shaped like a sea shell covered in makeup,hair brushes and combs,and jewelry boxes, ornate dressers and wardrobes polished and clean,several posters and pictures plastered on the fancy wallpaper or in delicate frames,some with Y/n in elegant dresses on a stage,others of her with Angel and Vaggie,a few cute pictures of cuddling Critter.Speaking of the baby demon gator,he was asleep on a large plush bed with a UV light over him and a heat lamp nearby.Y/n noticed that she was lying in a large bed with (f/c) smooth sheets.Looking under said sheets she saw she was only dressed in lingerie that looked alot like the ones she had bought with Angel.She also noticed that she was in what looked like a cross between her demon form and normal form.Her tail wasn't present and her skin wasn't shark like but she had fins on her legs and arms.She could feel her ear fins and the razor sharp teeth in her mouth.Her hair was long andhad blue and (f/c)streaks.As she got more wake and alert,she noticed her bioluminescent patterns went from faintly glowing to shining in the dark room.  
Y/n:What the fuck is going on?!  
A knock came from the door and a less overzealous but familiar voice called from the other side  
Alastor:My dear are you alright I'm coming in  
Alastor came into the room but looked alot different.He was wearing a red dress shirt and black vest with matching dress pants.But that wasn't what stood out to Y/n.It was the knee length red heeled Boots on his legs and the red coat over his shoulders with a fluffy collar that looked like a strawberry.  
Y/n:Uuhhhh...  
Alastor:Os something wrong dear?  
Y/n:(thoughts) Is this real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didnt update yesterday.My mom's in the hospital, her oxygen levels are low,she wont take the test for Corona to make sure she hasn't been exposed to anything while shes there,and her cell is dead so I can only call through the hospital phone and she cant make calls out.My little brother is being watched by a family friend while shes there.And since they moved to PA back in July I cant go see them due to the interstate travel lockdown. Any way this chapter was inspired by an idea I've been bouncing around of the Aus I've made interacting with the classics and vice versa along with the Strawberry Pimp Hazbin hotel Au after I saw a comic dub of it.


	14. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some Shark in kinky Boots inspired by comic dubs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom's supposed to be getting out of the hospital today.If she needs me over there this will be the last chapter for a while

Y/n:Hey Smiles,if you're a cannibal,does that mean your cursed to eat human meat for all eternity  
Alastor:What?No.First of all that's vampires,secondly if you dont share those doritos I'm going to take them from you  
Y/n:(hides the bowl behind her back)No!

Y/n is flirting with Alastor at the bar

Y/n:Okay,hot stuff let's try this again.Aint no man alive,or dead, that can resist by big ol pair of titi-(gets cut off by Alastor pouring his drink down her blazer)C-Cold!(takes of jacket and wraps her arms around herself in an attempt to keep warm)  
Alastor:Husker top me off,my drink has gone to waste  
Husk:Nah,I'm cutting you off.Thats a waste of perfectly good alchohol 

Charlie sees Vaggie after she cleaned the kitchen  
Charlie:Oh you're back.Did you clean out the fridge?  
Vaggie:Ugh...I found out what that weird smell was.In one of the drawers,there was a container full of dead birds stuffed with anchovies,and sour cream and....and chocolate sauce....the whole thing was doused in tequila!It smelled like death and gasoline!  
Charlie:Hmmm...  
Vaggie:I dont know who would concoct such a horrific thing but my money is on Alastor.He jus weird enough to-  
Angel and Y/n:(kick the door open holding the now empty Tupperware bowl)Who the fuck dumped our Lunch?!

Y/n and Charlie are in the lobby.Y/n looks at the picture of the royal family  
Y/n:Your dad is a pretty good looking guy  
Charlie:Uh,I guess?  
Y/n:I probably shouldn't tell you about the time he hired me  
Charlie:...What?  
Y/n:It was weird.First he wanted me to take his (censor)and put it in my (censor)and spin around with a (censor) in my mouth.And dont even get me started on the whipped cream...He told me to get on my knees and (censor)him with a leather strap wrapped around my (censor).Then there was the thing with the shovel up my (censor) and he wanted me mounted on the ceiling so he could (censor) me...  
Y/n keeps telling Charlie about all the kinky things she did with her dad and Charlie is getting more and more disturbed  
Charlie:Okay!Sirenix!Please go ruin someone else's life!  
Y/n:Calm down,Chuckles.It was a joke!He just wanted a blowjob nothing crazy  
Charlie:Ugh!  
Y/n:Lilith actually ended up finding out afterwards and hired me.She made your dad watch too and let me tell you,your mama ain't the mother of all succubi and Incubi for nothing  
Charlie:(screams and cracks the windows)

Y/n,Charlie and Vaggie are out together and some random demon calls out asking"how much sluts?"  
Y/n:(hugs Charlie and Vaggie)You can call me a slut,but if you dare call my girls that!I'm gonna fuck your ass!  
Random demon:Uh,dont you mean fuck your ass up?  
Y/n:No!I'm gonna FUCK your Ass!

Y/n is coming down the steps,getting ready to leave the hotel.Shes wearing light blue a crop hoodie with (f/c) hearts on it,a black miniskirt and her spike heel boots.  
Y/n:I'm heading out  
Alastor:Oh,and where do you think your going?I hope you aren't going and looking for trouble,my dear.  
Y/n:I've gotta meeting with Val.And Charlie says it's fine,so shove it Antlers  
Alastor:I see,I suppose it cant be helped.However...Are you really going out like that?  
Y/n:What's wrong with what I'm wearing?!  
Alastor:(twirls his microphone staff over Y/n as it makes a magical wand like sound effect)Darling theres always room for improvement!  
Y/n's clothes turn into a light blue lady like 1920s dress that stops a bit below her knees.Her boots have been changed into light blue heels that strap to her ankles and the rest of her legs are covered by grey stockings. Her hair has been pulled out of her ponytail and curled into loose ringlets with a f/c flower behind her ear.  
Y/n:...What?  
Alastor:There!Now you'll represent the hotel with some class.  
Y/n:(leaves the hotel annoyed)Class?What a damn prude!Whatever I look good no matter what I'm in.  
As Y/n walks begins to make her way to the studio she feels something under the dress rub against her skin.She takes a quick peek down the front of the dress to see a f/c corset and a small peek of f/c lace panties.She then hikes up her skirt a little to confirm that along with the garter belts attached to the stockings.  
Y/n:I know I wasn't wearing this before.Hmm...(looks back at the direction of the hotel)Maybe less of a prude than I thought...  
At the studio  
Valentino:AngelFish,your lookin real cute.Did you get all dolled up for me?  
Y/n:You know it Val!  
Later that night when Y/n returns to the hotel,Alastor is at the bar while Husk makes a drink for him.The radio in the lobby is playing That Old Black Magic.  
Y/n:(opens hotel door)Nobody panic.Im back!Hey Husky,got a little something for me?  
Husk:Fuck off Kid(gives Alastor his drink)  
Alastor:I see you're still wearing the ensemble that I prepared for you.Now maybe you'll have experienced the joys of smart dress.  
Y/n:(blushes slightly before smirking)...Yeah,its been really enlightening.And Al?Thank for being so...through💗(flashes the lacy lingerie Alastor conjured up)  
Alastor spit takes his drink while Husk looks away his face pink .A smug Y/n walks upstairs humming along with Ella Fitzgerald on the radio.As Husk tries to process what just happened he looks Alastor who's face is as red as his hair,hands clutched in his hair and smile forced as he has his emotionally repressed asexual panic attack.  
Husk:Uh,Al?  
Alastor:(flustered as fuck)Don't.Just don't.


	15. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Y/n Mange and IMP.Not the new one,though I had a one shot based of the clip we saw in the humicast,now I've gotta expand it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...my mother lied about leaving the hospital. She was denied to sign herself out and put in intensive care....So yeah....It's pretty bad....But no one's getting into PA let alone that hospital.

F/n and M/n L/n are in their living room when they her the back door open.They rush into the kitchen to see the back a young woman removing a the spare key,which they had hidden in the flower box ,from the keyhole.But the woman who had broken into their home wasn't human.She had grey skin and a long eel like tail.Hearing the couple walk into the room she turned around and M/n gasped,putting a hand to her mouth.Despite the girls gray skin,sharp teeth and obviously older features,she knew that face.It was a face neither she nor her husband had seen in over a decade.  
M/n:...Y/n?  
Y/n:Hi mom,dad.Its me  
M/n:(the tears welling in her eyes poured down her face)My baby!(runs and hugs Y/n sobbing)  
F/n:(walk closer to his daughter)Y/n?Why do you look-How are you,you were,are dead...  
Y/n:Well I am...Its a long story.I wish I could tell you all of it but I-(gun shot is heard from outside)  
M/n:That sounded like it came from the (Kyle's last name) next door.I hope Kyle is okay..  
F/n:I'll go call the police(goes to grab the phone)  
Y/n:(grabs her father's arm)No!Dont call the police.You,I cant let the police stop this.They deserve it  
F/n:Y/n,your not making any sense.Whats going on?(tries to pull away)  
Y/n:I cant explain all this but you cant call the police.(Another gun shot rings out)Damnit!Sorry about this(activates Siren Voice and starts singing.Once both her parents are trapped in its power,she stops)Go to your room and go to sleep.And do not call the police when you wake up  
Y/n's parents turn around eyes glazed, and walk towards their bedroom.Once she hears the door close,Y/n sighs in relief and sets the letter explaining how she died and what happened to her afterwards and photo album with pictures of her growing up she brought on the kitchen table.She goes to where her old room was and opens the door.Its still decorated the same as when she died,stuffed animals still in there spots,crayon drawings still taped to the walls.But there is no dust on any of the shelves or dresser and her bed is made up,kitty sheets and all.Her mother obviously still cleaned it while leaving as much of the room intact as possible.Y/n walks up to the nightstand next to her bed and grabs the picture frame on it.She remembers taking this picture a few months before she died.It had been during they're trip to the summer carnival that year.In the picture was 5 year old Y/n smiling paint covered face as she was held in her father's arms.Her mother stood next to them with holding the toys and prizes that F/n had won for Y/n.Y/n was brought back to reality by the tears running down her face.She wiped them away and took a picture of the photo with her Hellphone.Y/n gives the photo on last look before putting it down and heading back towards the kitchen door.She then leaves and locks the door,puts the extra key back in its hiding spot and takes one last look at her childhood home.After shedding one last tear,Y/n heads to where she remembers Splish Splash Aquarium was located.

Kyle wakes up to freezing water being thrown on him.He coughs trying to get the taste of the fish tasting water out his mouth.With his blurry vision he sees a figure looming over him.  
Y/n:Wake up.Damnit,wake up  
Kyle quickly comes to after hearing the older but familiar voice.Low and Behold,the figure was an older version of his childhood best friend.But she looked different and not in the fact she was older but rather,Y/n didnt look human.She glared at him with glowing blue eyes,her sharp teeth gritted in a snarl.Her skin was gray and looked smooth but rough at the same time.A long tail that ocassionally pulsed with light thrashed behind her.  
Kyle:Y/n?  
Y/n:That's right you bastard.Bet you didnt expect to ever see me again.  
Kyle:How are you here?Am I dead?  
Y/n:No,not yet anyways.And as for how,after you KILLED me(Kyle flinches)I ended up in Hell because I kept your father's body count a secret.Fortunately I was found by the royal family and adopted by them.I grew up as one of the princess of Hell and became one of the most powerful demons Hell has seen in almost a century.  
Kyle:Princess of hell?(remembers what happens before he was drugged unconscious)Those creatures that attacked Dad and I...  
Y/n:The Immediate Murder Professinals.I hired them to take me here to get my revenge.And to give closure to my poor parents.For over 10 years they've thought their daughter's death was accidental when in reality she was murdered by the boy they treated like a son.  
Kyle:Y/n I-  
Y/n:Save your breath.It wont change your fate.Do you recognize where we are?  
Kyle looks around to see tanks of water filled with fish,stingrays,and other aquatic animals.  
Kyle:Is this...Splish Splash Aquarium?  
Y/n doesnt answer him and walks over to the interactive tidal pool.She taps the water which then swirls above the pool and shows one of the demons Kyle remembers attacking them.  
Y/n:Are you in postion?  
Blitzo:Yeah Princess,were up here at the employee only area of the shark tank.I had to shot the bastard so we could take him down.Hes bleeding but not dead.He woke up a few minutes ago but between the bullet in his leg and the ropes bound a smidgeon on the right side,he ain't gettin free.  
Y/n:Good.The fact that he's bleeding makes this all the more easy.  
Kyle:Y/n....what are you going to do?  
Y/n ignores him and goes to the tank she was standing in front of when Kyle woke up.She taps on the glass and its then Kyle notices the sharks in the tank.  
Y/n:Hello girls,are you hungry?Cuz your about to get quite a snack.  
Blitzo:So can we throw him in already?  
Y/n:Toss him in.Its Dinner Time Girls!  
Kyle's father is thrown into the shark tank,the blood from his bullet wound mixing with the water causing the sharks to swarm him before one attempts to take a bite of him.As more and more blood fills the tank more of the sharks attack the man,taking chunks from his body.  
Y/n:See you in hell fucker.Enjoy the few moments you have before I find you.  
Kyle:...Are you?Are you going to kill me?  
Y/n:No.Your father was me making an example out of him.But you,no you'll live.I want you to live the rest of your life with your cowardice.To spend your days in fear of what I'll do to you when you die.Let that bracelet around your wrist be a reminder to your fate.And when you get to hell,we'll pick up right where we left off.And I will use every resource as Princess of Hell to track you down.Even if I have to tear apart every circle to find you.And you wont tell anyone what happened obviously.Who would believe the 5 year old you murdered would come back for revenge with demon hitmen and kill your father?Theres no proof on any of the cameras(sparks up)I destroyed them all before you even came to.(turns to the water mirror with Blitzo)Good work.Meet me outside and I'll portal us back to I.M.P

Back in Hell  
Y/n:Well a deal is a deal.Your payment will be transferred to I.M.P's business account.And this(hands over Alastor's Grimoire)belongs to you now.(takes Stolas' book)and I'll take this back to Uncle Stolas.  
Blitzo:Nice doing business with you Princess Y/n 

At the Goetia palace  
An imp servant let's Y/n and leads her to where Stolas is dodging objects thrown by his wife.  
Stella:I CANT BELIEVE YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH AN IMP!IN OUR LUCIFER DAMNED BED!DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILATED I WAS?!YOU LOATHSOME DICK SUCKING-  
Y/n:Auntie Stella!Uncle Stolas!Is, is now a bad time  
Stolas:Y/n,dear!Of course not!You're always welcome to come visit!Isnt that right Stella?  
Stella:(Compses herself and brushes her dress off)Of course!My favorite niece is always welcome here.Im just sorry you had to witness that,dear.What is it that you needed?  
Y/n:(pulls out the Grimoire)I made a deal to personally return this in exchange of certain services.(loans over and whispers to Stolas)Good thing I did or there'd be on less Imp in hell  
Stolas:(takes book)You would only be asked to return this if Blitzy-(dodges a knife thrown by his wife)Careful Stella,you could have hit Y/n.As I was saying you would have only brought this back if Blitzy doesnt need it.Which means you gave him another one.Your father would know if you took his,your mother has no use for one as shes able to use the dreamscape to travel between the mortal realm and Hell,the Von Eldritches and Vox wouldn't have given you theirs and Velvet hasn't earned her yet.So the only other demon you could have gotten one from is Alastor  
Y/n:Yes.I was able to convince him to give it to me if I let him "court me in a romantic setting".He handed it over quickly once I agreed.  
Stolas:If I remember correctly,you were quite adverse to his advance and Lucifer's idea of proposing an arranged marriage with him.To make such an agreement with him,you couldn't have just needed someone dead.Has some naughty little shark pup gone to the human world?Does Lucy know?  
Y/n:No.And he's not gonna unless you want him to not only know an imp stole your Grimoire but you allowed him to keep it and use it to access the living world.  
Stolas:Such a manipulative little siren.Lucifer and Lilith have taught you well.Alright my dear,I wont tell Lucy if you dont

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,some of people have been mistaking this for Dapper Dresser so I definitely think I should change the name.If any of you have any ideas leave them in the comments please


	16. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I originally had a small scene based on the clip from Hunicast but now with the actual episode I can expand it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,my mom tested positive for Co-Vid.Shes been moved from the ICU to the Progressive Care unit.But it's still pretty bad.Now my brother and the family friend watching him have to get tested too.While I know the symptoms of Co-vid dont always show,I think he'll be fine though.My brother is the type were you'd immediately know he's sick.

Time:Past  
Location:Mange Manor

Lilith and Lucifer Mange woke up in the middle of the night to a heart wrenching cry that shook them to their core.An intense fear and sadness that was not their own fell upon them  
Lilith and Lucifer:(sits up quickly)Y/n!  
The two parents get out of bed and rush to their youngest daughter's room,Lucifer almost running straight into Charlie on the way.The three Manges made it to Y/n's room and opened the door.Y/n was curled up on her Oyster shaped bed,knees to her chest as she sobbed.Her bioluminescence working on overdrive as if it could scare off whatever made her cry.Noticing the light from the door she looked up and ran to her family.  
Y/n:(hugs Lucifer)Daddy!Mommy!I-hic-I had a bad dream!There,there was a scary lady-sob- and she was dragging me somewhere dark and scary!And you,you and mommy and Charlie just-hic- watched!And then!Then you started walking away!You went into the limo and just-you all just left!You...you didnt want me anymore!(crying intensifies)  
Lucifer:(picks up Y/n)There there Apple tart.Daddy's got you.It was just a dream,it wasn't real.We'd never abandon you like that.  
Y/n:Promise?  
Charlie:Pinky promise.(sticks out her pinkie)I'd never leave my favorite little sister behind.  
Y/n:(wraps pinkie around Charlie's and laughs slightly)I'm your only sister,dumby  
Charlie:Well that makes you extra special(hugs Y/n)  
Lilith takes Y/n from Lucifer and takes her back over to her bed.She lays Y/n down and makes sure her head is under the round pearl shaped pillow.  
Lilith:Y/n,we would never give you up like that.Your father,sister and I love you so very much.Dont ever doubt that.Come on let's dry those eyes(wipes Y/n's face)Do you want me to sing you a song?  
Y/n:(sniffles)Uh huh...  
Lilith:(clears throat a bit before singing)Cold,palace walls and endless empty halls🎶 Haunted by echoes of laughter~You gave the pull and suddenly behold~You've thrown the gates open after you🎵And swept in with the throng,comes this wonderful song🎶  
My little reason why I'll never make you cry~Oh,I have got the sweetest things to tell you every day🎵  
My little reason why you make me want to try🎶Loving you~  
Y/n has calmed down and yawns after Lilith stops singing.Charlie and Lucifer have also come over to the bed.Charlie pulls the light blue bubble patterned blanket over her and runs her hand over Y/n's hair before hugging her again.Lilith and Lucifer both lean down and kiss Y/n's cheeks.Lucifer then goes and grabs one of her Finding Nemo plushes and grabs Squirt,placing him next to Y/n which she grabs and cuddles.  
Y/n:Good night Daddy,Mommy,Charlie.I love you  
Lucifer:We love you too.Good night sapling

Present day  
Hazbin/Happy Hotel  
Y/n wakes up in her room at the hotel and gets dressed.As shes about to go down to the lobby her hellphone rings  
Y/n's hellphone:You were a sub standard Dad but the only one I had🎶I grew up hearing your evil scheme from down the Hall🎶But when I look at this thing it makes me wanna sing~Maybe you're not so bad a dad after all🎵  
Y/n looks around for her phone a bit before answering   
Y/n:Hello dad  
Lucifer:Happy Adoption Anniversary Apple Pie!  
Y/n:Dad,that isnt until tomorrow  
Lucifer:I know,but I wanted to say it early since tomorrow I'll be busy preparing your anniversary Gala.And I wanted to hear your voice.Daddy has been so lonely since you've moved in to Charlotte's hotel.When are you two visit more?Or come back home?Daddy misses his girls.  
Y/n:Its Charlie,dad.And shes old enough to live on her own.We both are  
Lucifer:Hardly.I didnt leave my home,or rather I was kicked out of it,until I was at least a thousand!You both are too young to live without your parents.Youre still just children  
Y/n:Dad,Charlie and I are legal adults,we're not kids.Look I've gotta go,but I'll see you tomorrow.Love you  
Lucifer:Love you too sappling!Tell Charlotte to remember to come this time.And to call me more!  
Y/n sighs as she hangs up and heads down to the hotel lobby.Angel and Vaggie are arguing while Charlie is unsuccessfully trying to intervene,Husk is lying his head down on the bar counter with Niffty setting him a glass of water and medicine for his hangover.Meanwhile Alastor is watching in the background like a creepy fuck.Chester alerts him of Y/n coming down the stairs and he turns to greet her  
Alastor:Why good morning,my darling sea star!Did you sleep well?  
Y/n:(flips him the bird)Piss off Radio Fucker  
Charlie:Morning Y/n!  
Y/n:Morning Char,dad called.He wanted me to tell you to come to my adoption gala tomorrow.And to call him more often.  
Angel:Adoption what now?  
Charlie:Adoption Gala.Since Y/n couldn't exactly remember her birthday,we celebrate the day she officially became a Mange instead.Dad throws these huge parties and invites all the Overlords and noble families of hell each year.Sorry Y/n,I wont be coming this year either.Its probably best that I dont be in the same building as Helsa or Seviathan all night.Besides,I don't exactly want to work out things with Dad until I redeem a sinner.  
Y/n:Oh...okay.Its,its fine.I'll just tell him and Mom you were busy.  
Alastor:I'll come to your little shindig,sharkling   
Y/n:(bares her teeth)You are NOT invited!  
Charlie:Hey!Hey!You know what we can do today?We can go to Lu Lu World!Its been forever since we've been there and I so happen to have gotten ticket the other day from some random demon on the street.We can all go,wont that be fun?!  
Y/n:I guess so...  
Charlie:Yay!

Location:Loo Loo land  
Stolas:(gasps)Look Via!Its Loo Loo!  
Octavia:I have a question  
Loo Loo:Well ask away little girlie(creepy laugh)  
Octavia:Is it true this place is a shameless rip off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu world?  
Loo Loo:...No  
Octavia:This place reeks of insecure corporate shame  
Y/n:You can say that again.I would know  
Octavia:Y/n?  
Y/n:Hey Via,Uncle Stolas.  
Octavia:Why are you here?I thought you wouldn't be caught double dead in this cesspool of greed and copyright infringements.  
Y/n:Usually I wouldn't,but Charlie wanted to spend my adoption day early since she isnt coming to the gala,again.And she didnt make sure the tickets she bought off some rando were the right ones.So we're stuck here.  
Charlie:I said I was sorry  
Stolas:Oh is it that time of the year again?Happy Anniversary dear!Oh,I remember when Lucifer and Lilith would bring you to meetings at the Royal Summit.You wouldn't stop hiding behind Lilith's legs.You were so adorable back then  
Alastor:Oh how precious If I had known such a darling little sea star was there I would have come to those meetings more often.  
Y/n:I'll show you precious when I shove my foot up your-  
Charlie:Okay,no need for any viole-  
Charlie gets caught off by Blitzo shooting an imp with a knife getting ready to stab her.  
Blitzo:The next one is gonna cost you Princess.Unlike you Im running a business not a charity.  
Stolas:Oh Blitzy,I love how you gun down thugs without any mercy~  
Charlie:Oh!Thank you...Maybe I should have hired some bodyguards or at least had Razzle and Dazzle stay.  
Y/n:Probably,after all we're rich and we're hot.People want our money and our bodies.  
Vaggie:What?!  
Charlie:She's exaggerating Vaggie  
Y/n:Speak for yourself Princess. So many demons want a piece of me,its honestly exhausting.But we have a moth weilding an angel spear,a mobster spider with six arms and the same amount of guns,and the god damn Radio demon.So I think we're good.Not to mention,I'm not afraid of getting physical and bashing someone's head in with a guitar.  
Charlie:I thought you left Marceline at the hotel.  
Y/n:I did.She'd get too much blood on her in a place like this and you know how bloodthirsty she'd gets when I overfeed her blades.No I'm not talking about Marcy.(summons a purple guitar with blue eyes and a pink rotating part that has a sharp toothed mouth on it that can spin from a smile to a snarl.For anyone who's seen NSR,its Mayday's guitar)I brought Showstopper.(Pulls Showstopper's neck which makes the sound of a gun locking and blasts a laser at the demon attempting to sneak behind her with a bag and rope)  
Charlie:Did...did Showstopper always have a gun in it?  
Y/n:Gun this isnt a gun.I got Showstopper when I was seven,remember?Dad said said I was too young for guns.But deadly lasers were fine.What did you think Bunka Junka shocks Locka Bam was?  
Charlie:Okay!Let's go see what they have at the food stands.Bye Uncle Stolas,Octavia.Nice seeing you.  
As the hazbin crew start walking away Y/n stays back.  
Y/n:Mind if I stay with you guys for a bit.If I'm gonna be stuck here until Razzle and Dazzle can come pick us up,I'd rather be it with someone I can stand right now.And I'm sure you feel the same  
Octavia:Thanks  
Blitzo:Hold on,I'm not guarding another person for free.Like I told you're sister I ain't running a charity.  
Y/n:I can handle myself but fine.(hands Blitzo a large wad of cash)  
Blitzo:Always a pleasure doing business with you Princess Y/n  
Octavia:Business..?  
Y/n:I hired him and his imps to take me to the human world to traumatize the bastard who killed me by killing his father.And to see my human parents.  
Blitzo:If you ever need to go back to the human world,we'll gladly take you.For a price of course.Gotta pay the Bill's and all.  
Y/n:No can do.We got lucky last time.But ever since I've moved to the hotel,dad's been clingy.If he ever found out you were taking me to the human world,you'd be a dead imp.It wouldn't surprise me if he plans on bugging me or something tomorrow.  
Stolas:Oh Y/n sure Lucifer is a bit overprotective but dont you think that's a bit extreme?  
Y/n:He has put tracking devices in Marceline,Sea Spiral,and Hexanne before.He had a camera hidden in one of Showstopper's eyes(gestures to Showstopper who's smile has rotated to an angry frown)The only reason he stopped is cause I electrocuted him for trying to do the same to Wild Pyre.But let's not talk about my smothering father.How are you holding up Via?  
Octavia:As good as anyone can when they wake up to screaming every morning   
Y/n:Aunt Stella still throwing knives?  
Stolas:No,its my plants now.  
Y/n:Oh,ouch.Talk about a woman scorned.  
Y/n and Octavia continue to talk while Stolas walks around looking at everything in awe.Blitzo is pointing his sniper rifle at anyone who gets too close.  
Stolas:You know it's quite thrilling to see you to see you on the job Blitzy.  
Blitzo:Save it Bitch.Im working  
Y/n:And here I thought Al was bad  
Octavia:You both need to get a room  
Blitzo:Hey I'm not a day hooker(Gets a judgemental look from a mother)What?I just said I'm not one.Prude(flips woman and her baby off)  
Stolas:Look Via!(points to RoboFizz's circus tent)You used to cry such tears of joy at this show  
Octavia:Oh no...(has traumatic flashback)  
Blitzo and Octavia:I hate that fucking clown  
Y/n:Uh I was never even a fan of the real Fizzarolli at Lu Lu World,so I think I'll go find Charlie...  
Stolas:Let's go(grabs Octavia and Y/n and drags them in)  
Y/n, Octavia and Stolas find seats between the small imp children who came to see the show.Lights shine on the curtains and Robo Fizz sparks slightly as he comes from behind them.  
Robo Fizz:Hey,hey hey all you Its me,the robotic Fizzarolli manufactured from Fizzarolli factory here to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land spelled with O's(points to a sign with Loo Loo written over Lu Lu along with "the better one")to avoid lawsuits.(Brings out a disclaimer about how Loo Loo land is legally distinct.)Hit it(snaps fingers and stage lights and music play as the other animatronics appear on stage)Loo Loo land!Loo Loo land!Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band!Every boy,every girl,every woman every man!Loves Loo Loo land!Loo Loo land!Loo Loo land!Everything is beautiful in Loo Loo land!Ugly children holding hands(picks up imp children before throwing them back into the bleachers)In Loo Loo land!Where everybody's friendly and nobody is mean🎵No copyright infringements ever seen(dumps gasoline on a large pile of cease and desist papers and throws a match on it)I have a dream🎵He has a dream~I'm here to tell🎶Hes here to tell~About a magical fantastical place called Loo Loo land!  
Y/n:That piece of Scrap metal!(pulls out phone)I'm texting Dad to make another copyright lawsuit.  
Robo Fizz:Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band!Every boy every girl every woman every man!Loves Loo Loo Land🎶(laughs maniacally while glitching out)  
Stolas is clapping along to the song while Octavia is banging her fist down looking like shes about to pray to God to put her out of her misery  
Octavia:I hate this so much  
Y/n:Here I thought the animatronics at Dredbear's family Diner were creepy and obnoxious.I outta short circuit that defective robotic rip off for stealing lyrics from Inside of every demon is a Rainbow!Charlie and I worked hard on that damnit!  
Y/n's hell phone:This is your rejection ringtone.Maybe the person calling just isnt your type.Meaning annoying ,dumb,arrogant or just a total weirdo.Maybe they have bad breath,body odor or a combination of the two.Maybe they give off that creepy,overbearing stalker vibe and the thought of talking to them is as painful as a paper cut to the eyeballs.(My Eyyeeesssss from Spongebob plays in the background)Regardless of why you assign this rejection ringtone to this caller, do not answer this call  
Y/n:Grandfather damn it...(answers phone)What do you want Alastor?!  
Alastor:Such a warm greeting darling. But it's not about me,Charlie seems to have gotten food poisoning from a candy apple.  
Y/n:Great another thing I have to have Dad make a lawsuit to Mammon about.And if he tries to burn this one like the cease and desist orders I will rip him apart!  
Alastor:I love it when you talk about dismembering people,Sea shell.It so...enthralling~  
Y/n:Ew,gross.Just have Vaggie call Razzle and Dazzle on Charlie's phone.Meet me in the parking lot. (Hangs up)Uncle Stolas,Via,I gotta go.You know how it is.(hugs Stolas and then Octavia)Hang in there Via


	17. Loo Loo Land cut scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some scences that didnt make it in the official chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay things are kinda crazy but I might have to go to Pa to take care of my mom of she gets out the hospital tommorow.Which means very few spaced out chapters

Octavia wakes up to her mother screaming and breaking things.She sits up and grabs her phone.As shes scrolling through her playlist she passes a few of Y/n's songs including Currents of Love as Sayu.

The hazbin crew arrive at the theme park the leave the limo  
Charlie:Okay,here we are!Welcome to...(sees that they are at Loo Loo Land with O's)  
Y/n:Why are we at his death trap rip off of our family amusement park?  
Razzle:(shows the tickets Charlie got where for Loo Loo Land not Lu Lu World)  
Y/n:Damn it Charlie!This is why we dont buy things from randos off the street!  
Charlie:Sorry,I thought with all the cease and desist orders Uncle Mammon closed down this park.  
Angel:Uncle Who now?  
Y/n:Mammon.Hes a prince of hell,the sin of Greed and one of Dad's brothers who fell with him along with Leviathan, Asmodeus,Satan,Beezelbub and Belephgor.My personal favorite is Uncle Leviathan.But as a siren,I'm kind of bias.And Dont call him uncle!That scumbag is a shame on our family who's jealous bastard despite it not being his sin!And he made a disclaimer how he checked to make sure this dump was "Legally distinct "from Dad's park.Thats why it's still opened

Blitzo:Bitch I make more money killing people than you do as an robotic overrated sellout jester!  
Robo Fizz:(glitchy laughter)Oohhhh!Somebody's more salty than the ocean Princess of there crawled out of.  
Blitzo:Real funny.Looking forward when she maims you for stealing her sister's song.And considering the state she leaves Vox in,she can and will eat your mechanical sparky ass!  
Robo Fizz:Her Saltiness will have to take that up with Mammon,not me.Real or not,people loooove me!Did anyone ever love you,Blitzo?!

Y/n meets up with the others in the parking lot.Vaggie is rubbing Charlie's back as she leans over a trash can.  
Y/n:Grandfather damn it Charlie,Dad gave us 5 rules to follow and you broke the one about poisoned food.  
Charlie:I'm sorry....(wipes mouth)  
Y/n:Whatever,I hope Razzle and Dazzle get here soon.Once we get back to the hotel I have to write up another lawsuit against Mammon.That cheap imitation of Fizzarolli used lyrics from Inside of every demon is a rainbow in his stupid show.  
Charlie:What?!He cant do that!I'm...I'm gonna...I'm gonna be sick(throws up in trash can again)

Back at the hotel Y/n storms off to her room.Charlie who is feeling less sick decides to follow her,seeing as she isnt happy.Charlie knocks on Y/n's door before entering.Y/n is sitting on her bed with her knees to her chest,crying.  
Charlie:Y/n?I'm sorry you didnt have fun today.I really didnt know the tickets where for Loo Loo Land.  
Y/n:I didnt even want to go to Lu Lu World.  
Charlie:But you used to love it there!  
Y/n:When my family was still together.And my dad and sister didnt hate each other.  
Charlie:I'm sorry... I know Dad and I haven't gotten along in a few years.I thought it would be better for everyone if we spent time away from each other  
Y/n:You didnt even tell me you were leaving.You just packed up your stuff and ran off with Vaggie.Dad's been so overbearing since you left.He barely let me leave the palace alone and he started putting cameras in my guitars!He only stopped because I caught him trying to do it to the guitar I got from Kul Fyra.You said you'd always be there for me but you dont come home for birthdays or holidays or even to my concerts in years!Even though we're together now,I had to go find you.(wipes tears off face)I left home because it doesnt even feel like home.Its just an empty castle.  
Charlie:I'm sorry Y/n.I was so focused on leaving and proving Dad wrong,I didnt even think about how if it would affect you.And I've ignored and avoided you just so I wouldn't have to see him.You didnt deserve any of that.Ive been an awful older sister...If it makes you feel better I'll call Dad more and try to reconcile.And while I still dont want to go to the gala,I will start going to your concerts again.  
Y/n:(sniffles and smiles weakly)Thanks Charlie...  
The two sisters hug,their estranged bond starting to come back together.

The hotel crew are in the lobby to be in the hotel's new advertisement.There are lights and a camera set up,along with bubble machines and confetti blasters amongst the props.  
Charlie:Okay is everything ready?  
Y/n:(dressed similarly to Robo Fizz)Yeah,yeah.Vox does this all the time so it cant be hard.(uses electrocomunication to turn on the camera)Hello sinners and gentledemons of Hell!Y/n here to give you a wonderful song celebrating the Hazbin Hotel!Hit it!(bubble machine is turned on by Niffty,the lights are remotely turned on by Baxter and Vaggie presses play on the music player)Hazbin Hotel!Hazbin hotel!Everybody sing along with the Hazbin band!Every boy,every girl,every woman every man!Loves The Hazbin Hotel!  
Not many people know this but do to being part Eel not only is Y/n flexible but can slink around in that rubber hose kind of way that Robo Fizz also moves in.Y/n starts bouncing around,going over to Angel then Niffty then Charlie and lastly Husk who flips her off.  
Y/n:Hazbin Hotel!Hazbin hotel!Everything is beautiful at the Hazbin hotel!Ugly demons hugging,in the Hazbin hotel!(pulls Alastor toward her and before he can get any ideas shoves him on top of Angel)Where everybody is friendly!(gives Baxter a bone crushing hug)And nobody is mean(gives Crymini a friendly pat on the back but hits to hard and knocks her down)No copyright infringements ever seen(pulls out a Loo Loo Land poster which has "Suck it Uncle Mammon" written on it.Y/n then uses electrical fire to burn it)She has a dream!(gestures to Charlie who is sitting on the Baby Grand Piano in the Lobby)  
Charlie:I have a dream(stands on piano with arms out)  
Y/n:She's here to tell  
Charlie:I'm here to tell  
Y/n:(spinning around)About that wonderful magical place called the Hazbin Hotel!Everybody sing along to the Hazbin band!Every boy,every girl,every woman,every man!Loves The Hazbin hotel!(slides on knees as the confetti blasters go off and the Hazbin Hotel sign glows)


	18. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shark in kinky boots.I know everyone liked the Y/n Mange ones the most in my comments of Dapper Dresser but I personally wanted to push this Au more but it didnt receive alot of feedback.So I stopped working on it.But since I've started this I was able to expand it and the Swap Au so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So,a few hours after I posted the Cut Loo Llo Land scences I got sent here to PA.My mom's second test came negative for Co-Vid.Theyre now saying she had heart failure and her kidney's had issues as well.Shes still in the hospital,but I've got my brother to look after.So this chapter is gonna be pretty short.

Y/n and Alastor are in his room together.There are candles everywhere and a pentagram on the floor.As Alastor finishes the blood ritual,smoke starts pouring from the pentagram and the floor shaking.  
Alastor:Perhaps I've made a slight...miscalculation...  
Y/n:Pfftt!Are you fucking serious?!(laughs)  
Y/n and Alastor started at the small figure spawned from the pentagram.A small baby about a few months old was sitting looking up at the two demons.They had Y/n's hair color and her rough shark skin while they had Alastor's red eyes and cloven feet.A little deer tail stuck out of they onesie they were spawned wearing.  
Y/n:You really screwed up this time Antlers.(chuckles)So much for the great and powerful Radio demon.Cant even create a demon pig.  
Before Alastor can reply Angel walks into the room.  
Angel:I dont know what kinda kinky shit youre doing but try not to bring the hotel down with a earthqu-(sees baby)Ha!Are you fuckin kiddin me?!(laughs)  
Angel picks up the baby and takes them downstairs to the lobby to show to everyone.  
Angel:Guys!Check out the mistake Y/n and Smiles made!  
Alastor:(briskly walking after Angel)Dont say it like that!  
Y/n:Phrasing,Angel l!Phrasing!  
Everyone:(surprised confusion)  
Husk:What the fuck?(looks at his bottle of cheap booze's expiration date)  
Charlie:Uhh...(drops papers she was holding)  
Vaggie:(catches said papers before they hit the ground)Nope.Not dealing with this  
Niffty:Whyd you bring a grubby baby here?  
Y/n:(takes baby from Angel before handing it to Alastor)Before you start pointing fingers at me,this ain't even my fault!(makes cutesy sad face)All I wanted was a sibling for Nuggsy.Cuz he's been looking kinda lonely.Rudolph over here was the one to fuck it up.  
Vaggie:Are you expecting us to believe Alastor conjured up a harmless baby?  
Charlie:That's the worst lie you've ever told Y/n  
Y/n:Well excuussseee me,Princess!(rolls eyes)Its not like they look like me and Alastor at all!Where else would ot have come from?!I know you know where babies come from after the birds and the bees talk Lilith gave me for sirens.Dont ya think someone would notice I was pregnant and had a baby,who looks 4-6 months old,by now?  
Vaggie:Even I'd it is harmless you cant keep it.  
Angel:Who the fuck said it was harmless?Aren't sirens supposed ta be a big deal?Pair that up with whateva Mr.Radio demon over here is and the kid might go cannibal as soon as its teeth grow in  
Y/n:Oh it'll be fine,we can fix this.  
Charlie:Maybe this will be a good learning experience.Not just for them but everyone.  
Vaggie:Babies aren't rehab toys,hun.  
They look at Alastor who has been holding the baby with a faint strained smile of confusion and conflicted emotions.Alastor then grabs the baby by the back of their onesie and holds them over his now open hungry maw.  
Charlie:Alastor,no!  
Y/n:What the fuck,Al?!(grabs baby and cradles them)

To be continued...


	19. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of The Mistake  
> A few hours later Y/n makes a post to her Voxtagram

Y/n's Voxtagram page

Y/n's newest post is a selfie with the baby Alastor spawned from the Netherzone

Y/n:Check it sinners,Sirenix is officially a Milf!  
Velvet:Oh my Lucifer!  
Cherri:Holy shit...  
Molly:So cute!💗💗  
Lilith:Congratulations Y/n!I didnt know you and Alastor were together  
Cherri:Yeah,I thought you hated that Radio bastard.Why the fuck do you have a kid that looks like him?!  
Velvet:Spill the dets!  
Y/n:I asked Smiles to make Nuggets a sibling and he fucked up the Voodoo ritual.Obviously we cant just dump them in the street like Vaggie suggested,the merciful and kind manager if the Happy Hotel everyone,so I'm a mom now I guess  
Vaggie:I did Not say to leave it in the streets!Do Not turn this on me!  
Molly:So what's the lil cutie's pronouns?Do they have name yet?  
Y/n:I actually dont know.I haven't checked yet.Probably should considering Angel and Charlie are picking up stuff.Ya know clothes,diapers,formula so they can stop trying to suckle for something they ain't gonna get  
Angel:Ya should so we know what ta get.Me and Chuckles are leaving soon.  
Valentino:Sirenix,baby!Real cute kid ya got there.Not that I expect anything less from my angelfish.But,it ain't gonna distract ya from your work right?  
Y/n:...No Val of course not  
Val:Good.I would hate it if this little distraction got in the way of you making Daddy money.I'd have to get rid of it.  
Y/n:Yes,Mister Valentino  
Lilith:Valentino if you even think about harming that child I will castrate you and shove that tiny dick up your ass.Y/n dear,if you ever need someone to watch the little one Lucifer and I will gladly do it  
Molly:Me too!I always wanted to be an aunt.But Nissy is married to his work and Tony is,ya know.  
Y/n:Thanks.No offense but I wouldn't ever trust a baby with Charlie especially since she'd have Vaggie with her.She'd make the poor thing cry or teach them swear words after a few hours around her.Cherri is great with Nuggs but she's not exactly the babysitter type.And Al....he ain't allowed to be around them at all after what he pulled earlier.  
Lilith:I'm assuming he didnt take it well  
Y/n:That's a understatement.5 minutes of them existing and he tried to Consume the Child!  
Vox:Hahaha!Only that radio fucker would try to pull somethin like that.Im the superior dad  
Y/n:If Velvet is supposed ta be your example of parenting I'd say your a pretty shit dad  
Vox:You little-  
Lucifer:Lilith said there was baby?!  
Lucifer:Let me see!(looks at baby selfie)  
Lucifer:...If you bring that baby to my house your not getting them back  
Lilith:Lucifer...  
Lucifer:They'll be my baby !Mine!


	20. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based off of the holiday hazbin shirt I got along with NSR's Christmas Update.My other merch like my Addicted shirt and Stolitz Hoddie arrived at my grandma's yesterday.Cuz of course it comes when I'm in another state.

The hotel lobby is decorated in lights,wreaths,bells and poisenettas.A large fake tree is decorated with ornaments,holly,tinsel and ribbons.On top is a golden apple instead of a star or Lucifer forbid and angel.Stockings customized for each of them hung over the fireplace.The bar had been restocked with with festive liquor and a little hot chocolate machine for cocoa and hot apple cider was set on the counter,courtesy of Charlie who wanted some non alcoholic winter drinks available.The radio plates various Christmas songs,right now playing Jingle Bell Rock.  
Vaggie goes and hugs Charlie who is smiling by the tree.Vaggie is wearing a Santa dress and her usual pink bow is swapped out for a green and black striped one.Charlie was wearing a green suit instead of her usual red one.A red dress shirt replaced the white one.She had a bowtie similar to the one Alastor wore but it had a bell attached.  
Vaggoe:The lobby looks great hun  
Charlie:Thanks Vaggie!I worked so hard to make the hotel feel festive.  
Angel was sitting at the bar while Husk was making an alcoholic version of Christmas Punch.Angel was also wearing a Santa dress(though he sold it better than Vaggie😎)with a Santa hat on his head.Fat Nuggets in his arm had an elf hat and matching frilly collar on his neck.Husk had at least put some effort into being festive after insistence from Charlie and Niffty,his hop hat having holly,his bowtie being swapped out for a white one and a red bow at the end of his tail.  
Angel:Surprised ya wanted to celebrate.I was figuring with ya pops you wouldn't even now what Christmas is.  
Charlie:I always knew what it was but we didnt actually celebrate it until Y/n became a part of the family.  
Alastor perked up at the mention of Y/n.He had a surprise for her after all.He hadn't really changed into more festive attire,his usual suit and coat being swapped for a darker pure red one but mistletoe hung from his antlers.In hopes that he could get a kiss from his beloved pearl do to tradition.  
Alastor:Where is my darling little sea star anyway?  
Y/n:Over here.As far away from you as possible.Dont think I dont see that mistletoe Rudolph.It isnt gonna happen.  
Y/n is sitting across the room with a mug of hot chocolate trying to be discreet.She is wearing a dress with a triple layered bell shaped skirt.The dress is multiple colors of pink,yellow,cyan and teal with stars and festive patterns on it(Again for NSR fans it's the Christmas DLC dress for Sayu's third phase.)A colorful poisenetta headband rest on top of her hair.She was carefully tuning Showstopper who was now painted green with Christmas lights decorating is neck and body.Her plain purple headstock was now a yellow star.  
Niffty in her green and red elf like dress got excited as she saw what Y/n was wearing.She ran over and grabbed at Y/n's skirt.  
Niffty:Oh!Oh!Oh!That's the one of the dresses Sayu was wearing in her Christmas virtual concert!(pulls out Hellphone and shows everyone a video of said performance.)See?!  
Angel:Sayu?  
Y/n:She a virtual mermaid idol who I voice act and compose the music for.My choreographer is her motion capture actor,the girl who does my promotion art is her artist and designer,and my special effects guy is the editor.It was Vox's idea back when I was 14.He thought he could raise my audience by changing my image from rock to EDM. Of course I hated EDM back then now I have a better appreciation for it after creating and recreating the many versions of the music for Sayu,so I fought tooth and nail against it.In the end we agreed to do a Voxtuber Idol as suggested by Velvet.When I was 17,I made a deal with NSR to buy the rights to Sayu off Vox.Tatiana got a popular EDM artist off it and I was finally free from that stupid fish and I got an awesome guitar out of it.I still come and voice act and sing for her though when NSR does collabs with its artists and other stuff.  
Niffty:Wait?You're Sayu?!My super cute mermaid Idol?!  
Y/n:(in high pitched voice)Love Love Sayu Pyun!  
As Y/n says one of Sayu's catchphrases Niffty's eye turns cyan with a pink heart as a pupil.She then makes a heart with her hands moving making poses as she repeats the line.  
Niffty:(dazed but excited)Love Love Sayu Pyun!(makes peace sign)  
As Niffty falls out of her trance,Y/n quickly frowns before a moment before she starts talking  
Y/n:Anyway,Tatiana gave me this dress based off the third one Remi drew for Sayu during the Christmas version of Currents of Love we recorded last week.  
Charlie:Well it's really pretty,Y/n and festive as well!  
Angel:Yeah if she wants to look like a tree ornament  
Vaggie:Angel!  
Angel:What?I'm just sayin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mom came home last night.She's swollen,bruised from the IV's and she didnt get much sleep last night but at least shes home.Shes resting right now in the bedroom.


	21. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy/Hazbin Hotel concert time.Or at least the preparations for it.

Y/n:Stupid fucking Vox...I hope Valentino cracks his screen with his tacky heeled boots!He can get bent that loathsome TV fuck face!Husk give me the strongest shit you've got  
Angel:What's the matter with you toots  
Y/n:Vox fucking agreed to air the Hotel Charity Concert  
Charlie:Thats,good...right?  
Y/n:(takes drink from Husk and downs it)No its fucking not!Asswipe wants me to preform 10 songs and write a new one and he's giving me 10 days!10 days to write lyrics,make the music,pick the other 9 songs I'm gonna sing,the cheorgraphy,the costumes,the effects,rehershal!He's setting me up to fail!How am I gonna do all of this-(gets an idea)Hey Angel how would you like-  
Angel:Not happening toots  
Y/n:(makes puppy dog eyes)Pleeeassseeee?If I dont get this done in time,Vox is gonna make me a laughing stock like Charlie  
Charlie:Hey!  
Y/n:Come on Angel!If you help I'll give you my credit card next time you and Cherri go on a shopping spree  
Angel:Hmmm....Fine  
Y/n:Thank you thank you thank you!

Later on....  
Y/n:Thanks for helping me Angel.It really means alot  
Angel:Yeah,yeah.Im only doing it for that Golden Apple Credit Card.  
Y/n:Alright!If you're gonna help me you're gonna need protection.Actually all of you do since you're at risk,although at varying levels.So your gonna need these.(pulls out anti siren charm bracelets and NSR brand Noise Canceling plugs)Those of you without ears are gonna need the charm wards.  
Vaggie:Is this really neccessary?It just a concert,I think we'll be fine.  
Y/n:Listen here,youre still pretty new so I'm gonna give you a warning.Siren's voice is no joke.It is always passively activated when I sing.These charms were used by demons when they hunted down the majority of sirens down in the four year genocide of their population in Hell.And NSR Records started making these earplugs after they bought Sayu in order to prevent the same level of subliminal brainwashing Vox used for 3 years.They are the only objects in Hell to give immunity to Siren's voice,both when used passively and intentionally,to those who dont have it.  
Vaggie:I've briefly watched videos of your music and I didnt feel anything.Maybe youre not as much of a big deal as you think!  
Y/n:That's because recorded performances have a lesser effect than live ones!(runs hand through her hair frustrated)...Charlie tell your hoe to wear the damn earphones.  
Charlie:(tries to hand Vaggie a pair of the noise canceling buds)Vaggie...  
Vaggie:No!I dont need them!In fact...(throws ear plugs on phone and stabs them with her Angel spear,destroying them)This is what I think of your stupid ear plugs!  
Y/n:....(glares at Vaggie before singing)Undercurrents pull at your heart feeling so powerful it leads you on 🎵The waves of emotion wash over me but can you see the ocean through the reef🎶  
Niffty who hasn't put on the ward bracelet yet,drops it and turns towards Y/n.Y/n doesnt even look at her as she continues to sing.Niffty joins in and to everyone else it just seems like shes a ran singing to a song she likes.But Alastor's and Husk's ears shift and twitch as they both catch the different tone in Niffty's voice.Charlie who knows what is happening grimaces.  
Y/n and Niffty:A new tide comes in and I'm washed away for forces stronger than hate are left in the wake🎤As shipwrecks go sinking into the deep this world of ones and zeroes wont you sing with me🎶  
Y/n:Sing and dance with me okay?One,two,three....Peeaaccceee!  
Y/n summons a trident turned guitar and starts playing it.Niffty repeats the catchphrase doing all different poses.She continues to sing with Y/n but by now the others are starting to notice the slower,dazed sound of her voice.  
Y/n:Stronger than hate,anchored to the tide wave🎵Go on take the bait🎣You cant fight the currents of love💗Wiggle through the tide,hooked and now your on the line(grabs Vaggie's chin and makea her look up at her)Might as well as enjoy the ride~You cant fight the currents of love🥰Lifts you from the deep,rescued you when you're lost at sea🚣♀️Only search you'll ever need~You cant fight the Currents of love!La,all lalala,la la,lala la!  
Y/n pulls back from Vaggie and continues to play on Sea spiral.The instrumental break starts off calmly with with Y/n adding a catchphrase from Sayu's persona here and there.  
Y/n:Listen to the soundwave I want to give you!🔊We should link our intangible feelings!❤  
Y/n picks up the music and a few sparks slide down Sea Spiral's strings.Niffty's eye turn cyan with a pink heart as a pupil and slowly Vaggie's does the same.Her X where her other eye should be glows cyan.  
Y/n:1,2,3,4!Motion on the ocean floor!5,6,7,8!Double bubble,swim some more!1,2,3,4!Motion on the ocean floor🎵  
Vaggie and Niffty both sing with Y/n,dancing and posing robotically.Everyone can definitely tell this is some messed up magical bullshit.  
Angel:What the fuck...?  
Charlie:Vaggie...  
Husk:That ain't right.(takes a swig of his cheap booze)  
Y/n:1,2,34!Swimming fishes,bring 'em in!5,6,7,8!Triple ripple,shake your fins!1,2,3,4!Swimming fishes let's begin!1,2,3,4!Salmon jamming everywhere 🐟5,6,7,8!Slamming clams I just dont care🎸1,2,3,4!Salmon jamming everywhere!1,2,3,4!Swimming in a sea parade!5,6,7,8!Cutesy Wutesy Pink Mermaid🧜♀️1,2,3,4!Swimming in a sea parade🎶  
Y/n plays the rest of the song on her guitar and stops.Like a switch being flipped Vaggie and Niffty stop dancing and their eyes return to normal.Vaggie blinks a couple of times trying to remember what just happened.Y/n de-spawns Sea Spiral and walk over to Vaggie,shoving another pair of NSR earphones into her hand.  
Y/n:Congrats,you're apart of the Sayu Hivemind.Niffty will get you a jacket in your size.Now,Im not gonna tell you again.Wear the damn noise canceling ear buds.  
Angel:...What the Hell was that?  
Y/n:Currents of Love.Sayu's song effects women more than men,at least the ones that dont get off to teenage anime Waifus.Especailly women who are gay,bisexual or pan.  
Charlie:Y/n,you didnt hav-  
Y/n:Dont Charlotte.(Charlie flinches)She didn't listen to either of us.Now she has to deal with the consequences.  
Vaggie:..What?  
Y/n:(smirks)One,two,three,Peeacceee!  
Niffty and Vaggie:One!Two!Three!Peeaaaceee!  
Vaggie snaps out of the trance her eye wide with horror.Y/n walks up to her and smirks condescendingly at her.  
Y/n:Maybe that will teach you that I know what I'm talking about,Moth.Sirens were killed off or driven out of Hell for a reason.


	22. Siren page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay,I think I should explain how I've internalized how sirens work in hell.This is the basic history and information about siren demons.Tried to do this yesterday but it got deleted but I have to do it anyway so might as well get it over with.

•Sirens are a female only species of aquatic demon  
•That means no male sirens exist.Sirens can still give birth to male offspring who are referred to as fledglings.These fledglings are not considered true sirens.They can inherit some aquatic features from their mother along with lament abilities that vary in power depending on the strength of their sire.  
•Mortalborn or not all sirens can have children.It comes from one of my headcanons/theories of how Lilith had Charlie despite being a former human.Female oriented demons like succubi can get pregnant and male oriented ones like Incubbi can knock people up.  
•Any children male fledglings have are also not true sirens,even female ones.Though female fledglings tend to have stronger lament powers.  
•There are some requirements for mortal souls become sirens when they descend to hell  
1,they must be biological female.So for transgender people FtM can become sirens while MtF cant.For non binary and gender fluid people they have to have female parts to become a siren.Basically is you were born a girl as a human you can be turned into a siren.Assuming you met the other requirements  
2,the person must drown or die in the water.If their corpse is thrown into water it doesnt count  
3,the person must feel strong negative emotions as they die.For Classic,Princess and Sirenix Y/n they were betrayed by their best friend and brother figure.In the case of Swap!Y/n she was betrayed and her parents were murdered by someone she trusted enough to marry  
4,not really a requirement but a siren's demon form depends on the animals that live near and/or fed off their corpse.These animals determine their aquatic features, unique abilities and instinctual behaviors  
•Many hellborns have at least one siren or fledgling in their family tree.The Von Eldritches have one in the form of Leviathan's fledgling son Henry who is the older second cousin of Helsa and Seviathan.  
•Tatiana,the CEO of No Straight Roads Records is a fledgling who had a siren in her family a 1000 years ago.Although,the siren blood is too diluted for her to have any lament powers,she did inherit the innate talent for music sirens typically have.  
Sirens can transform their legs into tails when in water.Sirens who live primarily in water more than land end up permanently having tails and can no longer walk on land.  
•While in Dapper Dresser Y/n doesnt need to breath air sirens stuck in their permanent aquatic state have to breath with their gills.Its a death sentence otherwise.  
•Harpies are one of the species of demons that are immune to Siren's voice.For centuries harpies and sirens have been arch enemies.  
•Among the other demons who are immune to Siren's voice are Gorgons,valkries,fae and other sirens and fledglings.  
Angels are also immune to Siren's voice so there is no using it to escape an exterminator.Even fallen retain this immunity.Half angels like Charlie are not immune but have high resistance.  
•The anti siren wards are made out of harpy claws,valkyrie feathers and holy metal with pixie dust sprinkled on them.The fae would make these bracelets to make a quick buck and would charge heavily for them.  
•Back in the age where sirens ruled Hell's waters,many of them worked for the entertainment industry.About 80% of Hell's entertainers were sirens.  
•Vox is not the only person to use Siren's voice to manipulate audiences.Whether it was to control the masses,make them come see the siren preformers more or buy more merchandise,using Siren's voice was a pretty common business practice back in the entertainment world.  
•Siren's voice can be used passively or actively.It is always passive when a siren sings or when they experience sexual pleasure.But when a hellborn siren or in the case of Y/n Mange, a mortalborn who was a child(Headcanon that if kids die and go to hell or heaven they still age until adulthood.Angel children start to age after earning their wings while demon children age naturally),can passively use Siren's voice during puberty as 13 is the age where their powers start coming in.(that's a reference to the disney movie 13 years where merpeople are born human and must be raised on land until they turn 13 in which they must return to the sea/ocean)For active use of Siren's voice is the siren controlling when Siren's voice is activated.  
the earliest siren demons were woman who were thrown overboard.It was these sirens who started the tradition of luring sailors to their doom  
•After the Titanic sunk there was a large surge in the siren population.The aftermath of any large ship sinking leads to an increase of sirens really.  
•In the age of sirens their once was a city in the middle of Hell's largest ocean.This island was home to the majority of the siren population.  
•Henry's mother and Leviathan's ex wife(the divorce was real messy.Leviathan who controls Hell's Navy,had caught on she was having affairs with multiple of his subordinates.)is Syclla and ruled over the main isle.Her sister Charybdis ruled a smaller nearby island.  
•After their divorce Syclla would start attacking and eating men off of Leviathan's ships.She even got Charybdis onboard with her making whirlpools to sink the ships who would try to avoid Syclla by navigating closer to Charybdis' island.  
•Leviathan retaliated and the two were in a war for years until in 1925 a demon named Electra,the mother of harpies,approached Leviathan about joining forces.Leviathan was sceptical at first but Electra presenting him one of the charms the Fae made that allowed demons immunity to Siren's voice.Leviathan gave it to his lieutenant and had Henry sing to him to see is it worked.(Despite being a fledgling Henry is a very strong one.Not surprising since his father is a fallen.)Henry's song had no effect and Leviathan agreed to the alliance with Electra  
•The war became very one sided afterwards.Electra's harpies would sniff out sirens and fledglings alike and strike them down with the angel spears provided by Leviathan.Flocks of harpies or fleets of demons who were now protected by the charms would attack sirens' lairs across Hell.Eventually the two armies attacked Charbydis' island with Electra beheading her with her claws.Leviathan and Electa then turned their sights to Syclla and her kingdom,which was growing in disarray as panicked sirens started to flee.  
•Sirens have the ability to connect Hell's water with Earth's. This was how many sirens escaped Hell once the war became more hopeless.Y/n in any dimension is not aware or have mastered this yet.Y/n Mange only knows she can use water to travel to another place with water.Swap Y/n can use Hell's waterways to travel by turning herself into water before re emerging  
,but can not fo to Earth yet.  
•Against the final battle against Syclla Leviathan drained all the waterways leading to the ocean leaving no one to escape.Many of the sirens who tried to flee at the sight of Leviathan's ships and harpy army were left vulnerable.Dying from suffocation or being picked off by Leviathan's demon or Electra's harpies.The war finally ended with the only siren alive being Syclla before being killed by Henry who consumed her.  
•The brutal 4 years of Leviathan and Electra's alliance against Scylla and sirens became known as The Purge.  
•Both Princess Y/n's guitar Sea Spiral and Swap!Y/n's trident mic were made from holy weapons.Swap Y/n made her by mixing her blood with melted down holy metal before forging it into a trident,enchanting it with sentience.Sea Spiral on the other hand was a gift from Lucifer,who had it made from holy metal and blessed it with some of his remaining angelic power.Out of the two,Sea Spiral was is the stronger trident


	23. Fusion Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As fun as Aus are I think it's time to get back to our quality scenarios with Classic Y/n.

Everyone is chilling in the lobby.Angel and Y/n are playing with Fat Nuggets,Alastor is watching them in jealousy,Crymini playing a game on her Hellphone,Husk is wiping off the bar counter,Niffty is running around the room cleaning while humming Currents of love and Charlie and Vaggie are going over plans for the hotel.Baxter suddenly comes running in the lobby holding a ray gun.

Baxter:Eureka!I've done it!  
Crymini:Done what?Figure out why you're still single?  
Baxter:No!I'm still working on that...I've finished my latest invention!This ray combines any object it hits with the next nearest object.Watch(sets are banana and an apple on the bar counter before blasting it with the ray gun.)Behold!It neither a banana nor an apple!Its a Banapple!  
Charlie:(horrified at the crime against apple nature)Why...would you do this?  
Baxter:(ignores Charlie's utter dismay)Think of all the possibilities!Of all the combinat-(ray gets snatched by Crymini)You give that back this instance Crymini!  
Crymini:Chill dork.I just want to see if it can fuse my double ended dildi with my strap.Doesnt Charlie always say "sharing is caring?"  
Baxter:Give it here you filthy flea bitten mutt!

Baxter and Crymini keep the ray gun from the other firing it off several times.One ray combines Husk's cheap booze with Vodka.Another fuses Niffty's broom with her duster.Ten another blast hits the radio and combines it with the Tv,which makes Alastor hiss static at it.The sound starles Baxter who stops gripping the gun which then flies out of Crymini's hands and hits the floor.The ray fires one more time before it breaks.It hits Angel who is still sitting down on the couch with Y/n.Fat Nuggets hid under the couch when Crymini and Baxter started fighting so now Y/n is the closet thing next to Angel.The blast consumes them both in a white flash.

To be continued....


	24. Fusion Confusion part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of fusion confusion

As the white flas died down a tall figure stood in the place of Y/n and Angel.They were 12 feet,feminine, had 8 arms and had were glowing pink.Their four eyes opened glowing.After a moment the glowing stopped and everyone could see the figure better.They were a tall woman with a combination of Y/n and Angel's features.They had two set of eyes,the top pair were Y/n's e/c white the bottom set were Angel's with one being blacked out.Her skin was as white as Angel's fur despite none being on her body.The freckles and pink body patterns from Angel were now glowing lightly with bioluminescence.Her hair was still h/c but was longer and had a few pastel pink streaks.Her chest was rather noticeable as they were bigger than Angel's fluff and the glowing pink heart shaped pattern peaking out of her top.Speaking of which,their clothes seemed to combine as well.Y/n's hoodie fused with Angel's blazer creating a white and pink off the shoulder sweater.Angel's black skirt was even shorter but thankfully Y/n's leggings remained as well.Angel's high heeled Boots were now only knee length on their long legs.

Vaggie:Oh  
Niffty:My  
Crymini:Fucking  
Charlie:Grandfather   
Y/ngel:Uh...hi?  
Even her voice was a combination of Y/n's and Angel's voice.Their pitches blended together with the slight New York Accent of Angel Dust.  
Baxter:To think that my ray gun could fuse demons together!This is incredible!I must run tests to see how Angel and Y/n's combined powers work along with their separate abilities!I must experiment!  
Alastor:(angry radio static)Seperate them right now.  
Niffty:I dont think that possible right now Alastor.(Sweeps up ray gun pieces off the floor)  
Alastor:Than he'll have to fix it.(snaps and the broken pieces fly into Baxter's hands.)  
Baxter:But this took me 2 weeks to make!And even then the ray didnt have a reverse mode!I dont know how long it would take to create one!  
Alastor:Then I suggest you get started.I want that promiscuous spider separated from my darling as soon as possible.  
Y/ngel :Oh come on Smiles this ain't that bad.Hey this could actually be good for your relationship.Youre a prude,Y/n's a virgin your not gonna talk to each other about what your in to.But with me as a middle man we can set the guidelines and boundaries.  
Alastor:This is going to be a long few weeks...

Y/ngel is hugging Fat Nuggets with her left arms and Critter in her right.  
Y/ngel:These are my cute babies and if anyone talks shit I'm gonna beat the fuck out of them

Cherri and Y/ngel are having a brawl with Pentious and his Egg Bois.While Cherri is throwing bombs and dynamite, Y/ngel is shooting guns and firing off electrically charged webbing. 

The hotel crew watch in disgust as Y/ngel eats dead birds stuffed with anchovies.Alastor on the other hand is watching in slight awe.

Valentino is kneeling over after taking an electrified heel to the balls  
Y/ngel:What's wrong Mista Valentino?I thought ya liked it when Voxxy fried your bits?

Critter delivers a package from Y/ngel to Alastor.He takes the package and reads the note on top.  
Y/ngel's note:You should read this babe.Its real informative.  
With love,your promiscuous pearl,Y/ngel💗👄  
Alastor unwraps the gift and sees a book titled 'Sex!For dummies and emotionally repressed prudes'

Baxter:I finished rebuilding the ray gun  
Crymini:Did you make sure you didnt fuck up this time.  
Baxter:Excuse me?!My ray gun worked perfectly.The situation only went south when you put your grubby paws on it!  
Vaggie:(sighs)Did you test the ray or not?  
Baxter:Yes.I tried it on an amethyst and a pearl which created an Opal.An I defused it back into its original components successfully.  
Y/ngel:Aw...I kinda liked this. Oh well,Bax wipe it out.  
Alastor:Well I for one wont miss the innuendos coming from my darlings mouth!My fishy fellow,fire it up!


	25. Y/n Mange Au

Y/n sees Valentino's limo outside the hotel.  
Y/n:Ugh...I hate moths.Charlie!Where's the bug zapper?  
Charlie:Y/n you are the bug zapper.  
Y/n:Oh right!(sparks up and goes outside)  
Vaggie:I no longer feel safe.

When Lilith isnt home  
Lucifer:(puts on sunglasses and plays trombone)  
Child Y/n:(also puts on sunglasses and slams the oven door open and shut)

Lucifer is playing hide and seek with Y/n.He follows Y/n who ran into the kitchen.  
Lucifer:Where did she go?Did she disappear?Did she turn invisible~  
Y/n:(hiding under the sink)Hehehe...  
Lucifer:(smiles)I just have no idea...(opens the sink cabinet)Gotcha!What....(No Y/n is there)  
Y/n:(comes out of the dishwasher)Boo!Hehehe  
Lucifer:You're very good

Y/n:So Charlie and I may have burned the castle down but we made you this pie.(Pulls out a perfect Apple pie despite the fact they caught the manor on fire.)  
Lucifer :I love my dumbass children

Lucifer watching Snow White in the scene where the Queen poisons the apple:(Gasps)What kind of creul souless wench would poison an apple!(grabs and hugs Charlie and Y/n)Dont worry babbies,Daddy wont ever let anyone poison apples here unless they wanna get massacred for treason!

Y/n after hearing from Husk that Alastor told him that he was planning on proposing:(Gets on knees and starts praying)OH GOOD LORD IN HEAVEN!PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS!I DONT WANNA STAY IN HELL!PLEASE I-HE SAYS ALASTOR WANTS TO MARRY ME!I DONT WANNA MARRY HIM!PLEASE LORD!  
Lucifer:(Betrayed)WHAT IN THE-! HOW COULD YOU!MY OWN DAUGHTER!  
Y/n:Wait Dad this isnt what it looks like!

Y/n:Ow,my fucking tooth hurts!  
Charlie:Really,we better get you to a dentist.  
Y/n:Uh no,its okay it'll fall out and a new one will grow back anyway,its fine.  
Charlie:Nope,you got to take care of it N/n  
Y/n:I said it's fine,Charlotte!  
Charlie:Alright then I'm getting Al.  
Y/n:You wouldn't dare  
Charlie:(yells upstairs)Oh Alastoorrrr!Y/n has a toothache!  
Reader:No!No,stop!  
Alastor:(teleports in front of Y/n)You should really get that checked out,sharking.  
Charlie:I know that's what I said.  
Y/n:Shut the fuck up Charlotte!Look Al,its no big deal.I lose teeth all the time.  
Alastor:Angel?  
Angel:I've got the rope!  
Y/n:R-rope?  
Angel:Get her(tackles Y/n)  
After taking Y/n kicking and screaming to the dentist  
Dentist:Welcome.Im Dr.Azreal.What seems to be the problem?  
Charlie:My sister has a tooth ache.  
Dentist:Alright,set the patient in this chair.(looks into Y/n's mouth)Let's see here.It looks like you'll need an extraction.  
Y/n:Extraction?!  
Angel:What's the big deal?Ya said you lose teeth all the time  
Y/n:Yeah but they fall out naturally!  
Alastor:(notices the dentist pull out a canister and breathing mask)Is that Nitrice Oxide?  
Angel:Ya mean Laughin Gas?  
Dentist:There we are.Dont worry just breath this in and it'll be fine.Okay...(removes the mask and cuts off the laughing gas)  
Y/n:I love you guys  
Angel:Holy shit  
Y/n:Charlie,I never tell you this but I'm always thinking it.I love you.You're my sister and I'll always look out for you.  
Charlie:Awww  
Y/n:(sad laughter)Even though you left me and Daddy alone in the palace way too early...That was(laughs)pretty sad...  
Charlie:This is getting a bit too personal  
Y/n:And you,you big,smart,strong,sexy buck!  
Alastor:(flustered)Um...  
Angel:(Smirks and nudges Alastor with his elbow)  
Y/n:Do you wanna be my dentist?Cuz you can work on my mouth anytime  
Charlie:Oh my Dad please make it stop  
Alastor:You're under the influence!  
Y/n:You're a sexy dresser!  
Dentist:I've got a grip on the tooth,I'm going to start pulling  
Y/n:Hey Al,you got your microphone on you?  
Alastor:Yes...  
Y/n:Yoink!Mine now!  
Alastor:Darling,put that down right now.Its not a toy!  
Angel:How the fuck did she get her arms outta that rope?!  
Charlie:Y/n has always been very limber  
Dentist:Stop...fighting me...I've almost got it...  
Y/n:I'm used to mics but-(Alastor's mic has had enough and sends out a blast that vaporizes the dentist)Whoops!Clean up on aisle 3 am I right?  
Angel:Holy shit!Now ya dont have ta pay him!  
Charlie:At least the tooth got pulled....  
Later at the hotel  
Y/n:Uh,can you forget all the weird shit I said?  
Angel:Nope,I already posted it on Voxtube  
Alastor:Oh Darling,Lets play dentist~  
Y/n:Shit...

Hazbin concert but it's an alternate timeline where Y/n hasn't left Mange palace yet  
Charlie:Alright any ideas for how we can get guests to the hotel?  
Niffty:Oh!Oh!What about a car wash?!  
Charlie:This is Hell,Niffty.No one besides royals and overlords care about their cars being clean.Oh!What about a billboard?!  
Vaggie:We can't afford a billboard Charlie  
Alastor:What if we threw a little shindig.With food,drinks,entertainment...  
Angel:Aw,Smiles,if ya wa wanted me ta dance for ya just ask me  
Alastor:No not you!I meant a musical performance  
Charlie:That's a great idea Al!But...the last time I sung in front of an audience it didnt go so well  
Vaggie:Done let it get you down hun.(pats Charlie's shoulder)  
Angel:Cant ya Ma come sing?  
Charlie:No,shes really busy.Besides...she still hasn't answered my calls  
Alastor:Not to worry my dear!I have just the person in mind.(Summons a fancy red and black rotary phone)I'm calling the only woman who can Fuck me!  
Husk:(spittakes his alchohol)Whaattt?!  
Alastor:Sing for me!For the hotel!(finishes dialing the number)I think you might know her very well Charlie.  
Meanwhile at Mange Manor  
Y/n is relaxing,causally strumming a white guitar with snakes wrapped around an apple like a treble clef on the base.The headstock is a golden crown.The guitar's name is Eden and was a gift from Lilith for Y/n's adoption Anniversary last year.Suddenly Y/n's hellphone goes off with the rejection ringtone.  
Y/n:(groans but knows he wont stop calling.She hangs Eden in her spot on the wall with the others and answers the phone)WHAT?!  
Alastor:Hello my sexy little Sharkling~  
Y/n:What!  
Charlie:The!  
Y/n:Fuck!  
Charlie:Al?!  
Alastor:Language,everyone!I have a special request.  
Y/n:Look I just spent 6 hours filming the next episode of Annie of the stars and my vocal chords are strained.So you better find someone else's throat to shove that dick of yours in.  
Alastor:No,I meant for the hotel I'm sponsoring.I want you to sing for a little party we're having.  
Y/n:What's in it for me?  
Alastor:As the event is at her hotel,Charlie will be there~  
Y/n:Done!(slams down the phone accidentally breaking it.)DAAADDD!IM GOING OUT TO CHARLIE'S HOTEL!AND TO BUY ANOTHER HELLPHONE!  
Lucifer:OKAY!TELL CHARLOTTE DADDY SAID HI!AND DONT STAY OUT TOO LATE!


	26. Y/n Mange Au  other timeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so last chapter I mentioned an Alternate timeline where Y/n hadn't moved into the hotel yet and people seemed to like it so,let's add timelines to the already convoluted Multiverse.Baxter,if you please  
> Baxter:Behold!The Other Timeline-inator!  
> Thank you Baxter.Heres a few of things that are different than the original Y/n Mange timeline.  
> •Obviously,Y/n never left Mange Manor for the hotel.Aa such shes never met Husk,Niffty and Angel.Shes seen Angel in passing when Vox has her meet up at Val's studio but never really talked to each other.  
> •Y/n's grudge against Vaggie is alot stronger in this timeline.While the other Y/n Mange would be passive aggressive towards Vaggie and only confront her physically when Charlie isnt around,this Y/n Mange will openly antagonize Vaggie infront of Charlie and will fight if the situation escalates.  
> •In this timeline,Alastor and Y/n are in a secret relationship.Not even Lucifer knows his OTP is canon.Y/n says it's to prevent a scandal but she just doesnt want anyone knowing,especially Vox who would flip.They've gotten far enough their relationship that they've had sex and Alastor has found out he's a closet pervert.

Location:Mange Manor  
Because we are in the alternate timeline Charlie and Y/n never went to Loo Loo Land and they haven't made up with each other yet.

Y/n is drinking a glass of Sparking Apple Cider while looking out at the crowded ballroom.The nobles and overlords are drinking,eating,mingling and dancing.Y/n can see Velvet in her frilly red and magenta minidress,taking selfies with Vox and Valentino.Her parents are talking with the other deadly sins,sans Mammon who was not invited.Seviathan is over with his parents across the room but Helsa is no where to be seen.  
Y/n:(thoughts)At least there's one person not here that I didnt want to see.  
Y/n brushes off imaginary dirt on her blue mermaid dress with f/c sequins that looked like scales.She looked down at her feet trying not to cry.It wasn't the first time Charlie hadn't came to her adoption gala,it was the fifth one since she made moved out the castle.Y/n knew that the excuse Charlie had given about the being busy with hotel was bullshit.Charlie was avoiding their father like the plague,at by proxy,Y/n. It got to the point the promise of Mom being present wouldn't get her to come.  
Octavia:You okay there,N/n?  
Octavia's voice shook Y/n out of her thoughts.She wiped the tears that threatened to fall and looked at the owl princess.Octavia was wearing a sleeveless pink,blue and purple galaxy patterned ball gown,her gold tiara on her head.  
Y/n:V-Via!Yeah,yeah.Im okay.Just bored to tears as usual.I dont see why Dad has to always make a big deal out of this every year.Royal balls were fun as a kid but I'm not a little girl anymore.  
Octavia:I can relate to that...But you dont need to pretend to be alright.I know your upset that Charlie didnt come again this year.  
Before Y/n could say anything,Helsa who had been listening to their conversation,strode up in her long neon green dress.Y/n though it made Helsa look like she had toxic waste all over her.  
Helsa:After the disaster on 666 news I wouldn't show my face to the pests in the slums of Imp City let alone to the Upper Crust in an event like this.  
Y/n:Then why dont you Helsa?I dont want you here and you dont want to be here.  
Helsa:No sane person rejects an invitation to Mange Palace.I also wanted to offer my condolences to Lucifer and Lilith.How horrible must it be to have a feral Mortalborne and a pathetic failure as daughters.  
Y/n:You bitch!I'll show you feral when I rip your arm off instead of just that little bite I gave you before!(Gets held back by Octavia)Via,let me at her!Let me go, right now Octavia!That fucking harlot is gonna get the sense beat into her!The blood might make that tacky fucking dress look better!  
Henry:Cousin,I hope you aren't causing trouble.Im sure aunt Lilith and uncle Lucifer wouldn't like to know you are provoking their daughter at what is essentially her birthday party.  
Helsa:You wouldnt!  
Henry:Wouldn't I?(taps this throat and coax his vocal databox to send out Helsa's[for those of you confused for voice mimicking in sirens and fledglings their vocal chords keep recording of everything they hear so the vocal chords have a reference for voice mimicry]Henry opens his mouth and a small neon yellow orb pops out.He taps it and Helsa's last words come from it)  
Helsa's voice orb:I also wanted to offer my condolences to Lucifer and Lilith.How horrible must it be to have a feral Mortalborne and a pathetic failure as daughters  
Helsa:You cant do this to me!You are apart of the Von Eldritches!  
Henry:True,but as the son of Leviathan,the Mange family's also my family.Also I renounced the name Von Eldritch when I joined my father's side of the war and ate my mother,your aunt.So who's loyalty do you think I prioritize?  
Helsa:I-you!Hmmph!(Storms off in a huff towards Seviathan and their parents)  
Octavia:Thanks Hen,(let's go of Y/n)I'm not sure how longer I could have held her back.  
Y/n:...(takes a deep breath and sighs)Thanks Henry.You probably just stopped me from doing something stupid but well deserved.  
Henry:Maybe repay me with a dance then?  
Y/n:Sorry Hen,not in the mood  
Octavia:I'll take you on that offer though.(hugs Y/n)Hang in there,N/n.It will get better.  
As Octavia goes to dance with Henry,Y/n is left alone again.She wonders if she should just go to her room.As she starts to leave a figure puts a arm around her shoulder.  
Alastor:Hello darling!You're looking very down for someone who is the guest of honor.  
Y/n:Ugh,Alastor any other day I would put up with your....you-ness,but I'm not in the mood.  
Alastor:You wound me I merely wanted to see my precious little siren on her special day and give her a little surprise gift.  
Y/n:Fiinnneeee.....  
Alastor leads Y/n away from the ballroom and towards the gardens.  
Reader:Okay Al,I know you're coming out the closet,but dont you think it's a little risky to have sex in the garden when there's a party going on?  
Alastor doesnt answer and pulls Y/n farther into the gardens.Y/n recognizes the area as the spot she fell in by the plants and fountain.As they stop another figure walks away from one of Lilith's pomegranate trees and approaches them.Y/n's eyes widen as Charlie walks towards her.  
Y/n:Charlie..?  
Charlie:Hi N/n  
Y/n:Charlie!(rans up and hugs her sister)I thought you weren't coming!  
Charlie:I wasn't,but Alastor convinced me how much it would mean to you.  
Alastor:When Charlie told me she wasn't coming I told her how upset it made you since you hadn't seen each other in years.  
Y/n:Alastor,I dont know how to thank you...  
Alastor:Perhaps a passionate night together,just the two of us.But for now,you two should spend sometime together.Au Revior my dear.  
Charlie:(looks at Alastor's retreating form and Y/n's embarrassed face)Are you?Are you two...together?  
Y/n:Dont tell Dad.  
The two sisters spend the rest of the gala talking in the garden,spending time with each other for the first time since Charlie moved out


	27. Other timeline Y/n Mange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More second timeline Y/n Mange.Now featuring Annie of the Stars!

This chapter also goes into Y/n's acting career as Annie on Annie of the Stars.For those of you who dont know,Annie and her show are from the world of Skullgirls.Ive taken inspiration from both to make the Annie of the Stars in Hell but obviously there are changes  
●The skull heart still exists as an ancient artifact outside of Heaven and Hell,created by three goddess known as the Trinity.Only a woman can wish on it and if her wish is impure she turns into a Skullgirl who will reek death and destruction on the world.  
●Annie's mother was powerful mage in this version of Annie of the Stars.Studying the powerful magics of Heaven and Hell.Annie's father on the other hand,was a mage who studied the archaic powers of other gods.  
●Annie's mother was a manipulative and overbearing woman wanting control over everything.Over magic,over her life and her family.When Annie started to become a teenager and be more independent,she desperately tried to find a way to rein Annie in.She was given the heart by a particular sister of the church when she turned to Heaven for answers.She then wished for Annie to forever be her chuld,which made Annie ageless.As her wish was selfish she turned into a skullgirl.  
●The character any in this version is still cursed by immortality but the character is 16 instead of the child Skullgirls Annie is.She still has Sagan but instead of being a parasite,Sagan is a patron god of the cosmos,summoned with a guardian spell from one of her father's books,in one of Annie's childhood toys.  
●Beowulf,Skullgirls Annie's friend and co-star,is abit different than his Skullgirls counterpart.First off all he's a demon who's demon form is a werewolf when he shifts between them.He was a wrestler as a human and his pride and arrogance got him sent to Hell.He continues his career in Hell and is undefeated but is unsatisfied.He longs for his glory days when he fought and killed the demon Grendel,who ate demons by the dozens and left destruction in the wake of his rampages.They had a match in the ring with Beowulf ripping off his arm and keeping it as a trophy.When he hears that angels are on Earth looking for the skull heart and that the Princes of Hell are offering a reward for any demon to claim the heart before Heaven does,he sees it as a great opportunity.He doesnt care about the reward he just wants the challenge that finding the heart would give him.Orginally he only teams up with Annie as she to Is looking for the heart,but by the end of the first season he's grown close to Annie And considers her a friend after facing many hardships and truths together.Such as Beowulf finding out his match was staged and Grendel was poisoned beforehand leaving him to wonder if he really is as great of a fighter as he thought.  
heaven dreads the 7 year return of the Skullheart after it is destroyed and often tries to keep people from finding it.But the shapeshifting minion of the Trinity Double(also a skullgirls character) evades them and seeks out a host for the heart.If a host is found and becomes a Skullgirl Heaven gets involved only if she is causing mass destruction.There is a group of exterminators who are trained to fight against skullgirls and their armies of the undead.  
●Double uses many forms to manipulate people into taking the heart but her most commonly used form is a nun,blonde locks peeking from behind her ears and eyelids always closed to hide the monsterous red eyes underneath.This was the form Double approached Annie's mother with the heart.Annie and Sagan have faced off against Double many times over the centuries they've sought out the heart.  
●In Skullgirls Annie is not only eternally a child but she cant swear.Im keeping this in the Hell version of the show cuz I think it's funny that a teenaged character who travels with a Demon is forced to keep her language PG  
Alright enough lolly-gagging on with the show🌟  
Lights,Camera 🎥Y/n!

Younger Y/n is playing on Marceline while Charlie is singing  
Charlie:I know you just wanna give your little girl the world🌎but Daddy I'm not just your little girl~I've got my own life🎵I got my own plans🎶I hope you understand and like the way that I am~Cuz I want your respect and I wanna be here,but I dont wanna rule all of Hell~

Future Y/n is arguing with Helsa  
Y/n:My husband is an Overlord!What's your husband doing,Bitch?!  
Alastor:Darling~  
Y/n:Yes?  
Alastor:Let's go home.Im making jambalaya.  
Y/n:Yes Al~(uses tail to trip Helsa)Whore!

Charlie:Okay has anyone here heard of Annie of the Stars?  
Niffty:I love Annie of the Stars!It's my favorite TV show!I have the first season on DVD!  
Angel:I think I've heard Velvet mention it before.Why?  
Charlie:Well after Y/n's gala she gave me backstage passes so we could watch them filming the season 2 mid-finale!I think it will be fun!  
Niffty:It sounds amazing!Seeing the behind the scences making of Annie of the Star!I dont think there's anything better.  
Husk:I can think of some.Ive got better things to do than watch some princess diva.Like drinking.  
Angel:If my Husky isnt going neither am I!Besides I've been on enough film sets to know what its like.  
Charlie:They catering will have free food and drinks.  
Angel:Deal!I ain't one to pass up free shit.  
Husk:Fine,but only cuz I know that it'll be the good shit.  
Alastor:I would never miss a chance to see precious pearl perform  
Angel:Say that 3 times fast  
Vaggie:I'm glad you and your sister are making up but,I dont really wanna go.Your sister doesnt exactly....like me.  
Charlie:What are you talking about?Of course Y/n likes you!She was so happy for us when we first got together!  
Vaggie:Yeah,before you moved out.I hear how she talks about me when you two are on the phone.Im sorry Charlie but I dont think it's a good idea.  
Charlie:You two just need to reconnect!Its been a few year after all.Please,Vaggie?Pleeaaaasseeeee?(puppy dog eyes)  
Vaggie:Okay...

Later on the Annie of he Stars set

Y/n comes out of her dressing room after changing into the costume needed for next scene.She was wearing a green and yellow minidress with poofy sleeves and short tutu styled skirt.Red heeled boots went up to her thighs with a matching Cape over her shoulders.She wore a teal wig over her hair with a big green hat with a cresent moon shaped brim,large red bow with a yellow moon in the middle on it.Y/n carries a large sword with a red handle and star motif and a yellow contact is in one of her eyes while the other had a white eye patch with a yellow star over it.  
Y/n:(thoughts)Whoever designed this has no experience making fighting gear.Who even thought it was a good idea to make Annie's Lunar Knight transformation look like a magical girl outfit?  
As Y/n makes her way to the set,she sees Charlie.She runs over to her sister and hugs her.  
Y/n:Charlie,you came!You actually came!(hugs tighter)  
Charlie:Well you did give me the passes and it would be rude to snub you.I also wanted to introduce you to all my friends from the hotel.  
Niffty:Oh my I cant believe I'm meeting you!I'm a really big fan!I cant believe I forgot to grab something for you to sign!Oh I'm Niffty by the way.  
Y/n:(giggles)Always a pleasure to meet a fan.Can I see your Hellphone(Niffty hands it over)Thanks.(Poses and takes selfie)Here you go.Mines worth two thousand words.  
Niffty:(takes phone back and starts making fangirl noises)  
Charlie:(giggles)Well you already met Niffty.This is Angel Dust(Angel:Heya!)And this is Husk(Husk:(glances over at Y/n before he goes back to drinking the cocktails at the refreshment table).You already know Alastor and -  
Y/n:Vagatha  
Vaggie:Its Vaggie  
Y/n:That's what I said  
Angel:Whatcha do to piss off ya girlfriend's sista this bad?  
Vaggie:I didnt do anything!Shes been like this for no reason.  
Y/n:Dont play dumb.Unless you aren't playing.Charlie obviously didnt pick you for your smarts.Or looks or wonderful personality...Charlie I know Seviathan was bad but what did you see in her?  
Vaggie:I told Charlie this was a bad idea!I didnt come here to be insulted!  
Y/n:No,then where do you usually go?  
Vaggie:UghI cant being near this prissy She Devil without wanting to slap her!  
Y/n:Well this outfit was made for appealing to fanboys and kicking ass!And there isnt any fanboys on set!So come get some Veggie!  
Vaggie:ITS VAGGIE!  
Y/n:WHATEVER!  
As the two girls are ready to start a cat fight,there interupted.  
Vox:Y/n!Get your ass over here so we can start the scene!  
Y/n:You got lucky this time Vanny  
Vaggie:My NAME is Vaggie!  
Y/n:Who cares?!  
Vox:Y/N!  
Y/n:I HEARD YOU ALREADY!

(During any episode of Annie of the stars Y/n will be referred to as Annie and so will her dialogue)  
The director is giving instructions to Y/n and Ceollo,the small rabbit demon who plays Sagan,the eun down of the scene.  
Director:Okay, so Annie and Sagan have split off from Beowulf in order to infiltrate the Anti Skull girl Exterminator HQ and find the location of the Skull heart.Annie has transformed into her Lunar Knight form and is making quick work of the angels there.Got it?  
Ceollo:Yeah  
Y/n:Got it  
Director:Okay places!Quiet on the set!And....Action!

Annie and Sagan are fighting angel after angel in the ASG HQ.Annie swiftly cuts down the guards with her sword, using Sagan who stretches out to block larger attacks.Annie then lifts Sagan up and he opens his mouth firing a large beam(which in editing will have a star motif) that knocks them all down.Before anymore exterminators can catch up with them Annie rides Sagan like a motorcycle, blasting off down the halls(which again will be edited with a star motif)and towards the room where the skullheart and/or skullgirl's location is monitored.The room is suspiciously unguarded.Annie cautiously gets off Sagan and approaches the door,sword drawn and ready to unleash a Cresent Cutter attack.A lone Angel is turned towards the large map of Earth and the large monitor that usually observes the rampage of a skullgirl is turned off.  
Annie:(thoughts)At least that means no ones made a wish on the heart yet.Having trouble finding someone desperate enough,Shapeshifter?  
The Admin angel turns towards Annie as she and Sagan enter the room.  
Angel Admin:Hello Annie.  
Annie:You know who I am?  
Angel Admin:Annabella "Annie" Estelle Boone.A soul who should have departed the living realm centuries ago.The daughter of one of the most dangerous and destructive Skullgirls to ever exist.The summoner of the God of the Cosmos to this plane of existence.Heaven knows much about you,Annie of the Stars.  
Annie:Then cut the small talk.You know why I'm here.  
Admin Angel:You seek the location of the Skullheart.Im afraid I cant give you the answer you seek.  
Annie:Why not?!If Heaven has been watching me for so long your Anti skull girl squad should know I do your jobs for you by killing the skullgirls.  
Angel Admin:And we thank you for that.The less we get involved the better.Less work and clean up in the aftermath.Less memories to erase from witnesses.And we do not have to track down the minion of the Trinity afterwards due to you killing her physical form until it regenerates with the heart.But now you have strayed from the just path by traveling with that werewolf.We know he is one of the demons the Princes of Hell sent to retrieve the heart.That is why I cannot disclose the location of the Skullheart even if I knew where it was.  
Annie:What are you talking about?The shapeshifter makes sure you never claim the heart but it cant keep you from finding where it is.  
Admin Angel:True,but this time,only the leader of our unit has been monitoring the location of the heart.As such only they know where the shapeshifter has hidden it.If you wish to find them,they await you in the main control room.  
Annie turns away and rides Sagan down the hall to find the ASG leader.Once shes out of hearing range,the admin pulls out a communication device.  
Admin Angel:Chief,Annie is heading your way  
Leader Angel:Good.This are going according to plan.Lets see the determination of the girl of the stars.Admin, we're activating the self destruct excavation order.Gather as many angels as you can.Leave behind any who are already unconscious.  
Admin Angel:But Chief the data,the base!Everything will be destroyed!  
Leader Angel:And so will be the child.Besides that is my problem to worry about.All you need to do is follow my orders.Are we clear?  
Admin Angel:...Yes Chief.Crystal clear.

As Annie and Sagan rocket towards the control room an alarm sounds out along with a voice.  
Admin Angel:Warning!To all ASG exterminators,Chief has ordered immediate evacuation!The base will self destruct in 15 minutes!I repeat,the base will self destruct in 15 minutes!Any angel who fails to evacuate will be erased in the destruction.  
Annie:God Fudging Darn it!Now where on a time limit.  
Sagan:Annie!We gotta get out of here!This place is gonna blow!  
Annie:We cant leave without the data,Sagan!  
Sagan:(sighs)One of these days Annie,you're gonna get us killed.Youre cursed not to age but that hardly makes ya immortal.And I can still die even though I'll regenerate in a few millennia.   
Sagan rockets down the hall faster,dodging the evacuating angels while Annie parries the few who attack them.Sagan then fires another beam from his mouth and blows down the door to the main control room.Inside is the leader angel who was waiting for them.  
Leader Angel:It is a pleasure to finally meet the legendary Annie of the Stars in person.  
Annie:Save the bullsh- the Sugar Honey Ice Tea!Tell me where the data is!  
Leader:Its right here in this flashdrive.(holds up USB port)But I will not give it to you.  
Annie:If it's about Beowulf,he doesnt even want to return to Hell with the heart anymore!  
Leader:Is that what my admin told you?While it is true the werewolf has changed his intentions for the heart,that is not the reason why I will not provide you the heart's location.Have you even wondered why we are trying to claim the heart?After years of the shapeshifter evading us we've settled for destroying it with the Skullgirl who wields it.But now for the first time in thousands of years we are actively seeking the Skullheart?  
Annie:Enough with the rhetorical questions!  
Leader Angel:Very well.We are trying to keep the Skullheart from You,Annie.For years you've hunted down the skullgirls who plague this world but all of a sudden you are looking for the heart itself.One can only wonder why.  
Annie:Its to stop some poor soul from being fooled by the Shapeshifter and wishing on the heart!  
Leader Angel:So you say.Youve been alive for far longer than any human should Annie of the Stars.I wonder if you've grown tired of your cursed life.But the wish of a Skullgirl can only be undone by the heart who granted it.Who is to say that you aren't trying to wish away the childishness your mother inflicted on you?You are a loose canon,Annie.The Skullheart's power flows through you,keeping you alive.If you ever wish on the Skullheart with an impure wish,and let's face it no wish has ever truly been pure,you'd become a Skullgirl even more terrifying than your mother.I cannot allow that kind of chaos on the world.So I will bring your permanent end.  
Annie:So that's why you set off the self destruct sequence.  
Leader Angel:Yes.But I know there is a chance you'll escape before the bomb goes off.As you know,Holy weapons cannot kill humans,but because of the Skullheart's power in you they can injure you.I wonder what will kill you first,your injures or the bomb?Either way,goodbye Girl of the Stars.  
The leader attacks Annie with a sword which she parries and blocks with her own.The each get small cuts from when the other manages to catch them off guard but none of them life threatening.Annie sees a opening and charges sword first towards the angel.  
Annie:Meteorite...Strike!  
Annie's sword strikes the angel's wing sending them to the ground.She takes the flash drive and plugs it into the computer.A map of the world appears with an image of the Skullheart marking its location.  
Annie:There you are...  
As Annie is gathering the data she doesn't notice the angel getting back up.As they draw their sword,Sagan sees them and tries to warn Annie.  
Sagan:Annie,behind you!Look out!  
Annie turns around put is too late to block the sword.It slashes her torso and (fake) blood leaks onto her dress.  
Leader Angel:Such a shame.You were so close.This is your end Annie of the Stars.  
Beowulf:Gigantic....ARM!  
Beowulf comes charging in with Grendel's arm sending the leader across the room and knocking them unconscious.Beowulf then runs over to Annie using her cape as a make shift bandage for her wound.  
Beowulf:Cant believe you let a guy like that get the drop on you Annie.Guess it's a good thing I didnt listen when you said to stay away from this place.  
Annie:Thanks...partner  
Sagan:Really feeling the love here,Ann.What am I chopped liver?  
Beowulf:(lift Annie up and sets her on Sagan who is in his bike form)Come on let's get out of here.  
Sagan rides off towards the exit with Annie on his back.Beowulf has shifted into his werewolf form and his charge tackling down any angel who gets in their way.Seconds after they get a some distance from the HQ it explodes in a feiry inferno.Sagan stretching over Beowulf and Annie in order to protect them from the blast radius.  
Annie:We(coughs)did it.  
Beowulf:We did Annie.Lets get back to camp and get you patched up for real.

Director:And...Cut!Great take everyone.Take five and we'll shoot the end scene.  
Y/n gets off the ground and brushes the dirt off her.  
Y/n:Good work out there.  
Lupis(Beowulf's actor):We were awesome out there!Did you see were I came in and saved you?Cuz that was pretty amazing!  
Ceollo:Yes,yes we all saw Lupis.We were there.

Y/n goes up to Charlie and the others while a makeup artist fixes the fake blood and injuries Annie sustained in the last scene.  
Niffty:Oh my gosh!I cant believe I just watched Annie of the Stars live!Its so good I can hardly tell the difference from the behind the scenes action to an actual episode!  
Charlie:You were great out there,N/n.  
Y/n:Thanks Charlie.(takes a drink from the catering,careful not to smudge the fake bruises and blood on her face)  
Alastor:Its always quite thrilling to see you on the job,sharkling~  
Y/n:Save it bitch,I'm working.(takes another sip of drink)  
Vox:Y/n!  
Y/n:Its only been four minutes,you damn prick!Fucking slavedriver...  
Vox:YYYY/NNNNN!  
Y/n:GOOD LORD,IM COMING!DONT GET YOUR PANTIES IN A TWIST!


	28. Child Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the Christmas themed comment I made based off the comic dub of Giratina and Arceus arguing over who'd give Mimikyu his presents for Christmas.I spent 40 minutes looking for this specific one,so I hope you enjoy.I updated it a bit as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, you filthy animals!Happy hoildays!

Mange family Christmas in Heaven

Lucifer:Are you done with your wish list,Y/n?  
Reader:Almost done daddy.There!Make sure it gets to Santa!  
Lucifer:I will,leave it to me.  
Lucifer pats Y/n's head and walks off looking at her wishlist.  
Lucifer:Y/n doesnt know it but I'll be playing Santa this year.I cant wait to see the look on her face when I bring the gifts to her!This is going to be a great Christm-(list gets taken by God)Gggrrrr....HEY WHAT THE HELL?!GIVE THAT BACK YOU SHITTY OLD MAN!  
God:Pipe down my delinquent child.Im trying to read my grand daughter's wishlist.I am going to be playing Santa this year and give her the gifts she asked for.  
Lucifer:LIKE HELL YOU ARE!IM BEING SANTA THIS YEAR!BESIDES YOU'RE A SHITTY FUCKING SANTA!BACK WHEN I WAS STILL AN ANGEL,YOU GAVE MICHEAL,GABRIEL AND RAPHAEL GIFTS WHILE YOU GAVE ME COAL!  
God:Thats because you were a naughty child for thousands of years.You wouldnt believe how much coal I had in storage from your behavior.Besides,I look better in the Santa costume than you.  
Lucifer:WHY DONT YOU GO AS A REINDEER?!IT SUITS YOU TO PULL THE SLEIGH RATHER THAN RIDING ONE!I'LL EVEN GET YOU A RED NOSE WHILE IM SANTA,FUCKING OLD MAN!  
God:THATS IT!YOUR ASS IS ABOUT TO GET BANISHED BACK TO HELL AGAIN!AND THE ONLY PRESENTS YOU'RE GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS IS COAL!AND A TIME OUT!  
Micheal:(groans)Not again...  
Lucifer:LIKE HELL IM GOING BACK ON CHRISTMAS!TAKE THIS!  
God:DID YOU JUST THROW A SNOWBALL AT ME,GOD?!YOURE GOING DOWN NOW, BOY!JUDGEMENT!(Sends large Icicles down at Lucifer who keeps throwing snowballs)  
Micheal:They're at it again...  
Reader:Aww...Are Grandpa and Daddy fighting again?  
Lilith:Dont worry dear,they do this every Christmas  
Charlie:Come on y/n!Lets go play!Uncle Gabe has hot chocolate!  
God:I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD AND NOW IM TAKING YOU OUT!FACE MY FROZEN WRATH!  
Lucifer:I THOUGHT WRATH WAS A SIN YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITE!AND YOUR WRATH IS SHITTY TOO!WE'RE HAVING A BATTLE TO THE DEATH NOT MAKING IT SNOW FOR ALL THE LIL KIDDIES!  
Raphael:This is why the other 6 dont come up here anymore for the hoildays.  
Gabriel:Yeah,but who would want Mammon here anyway?  
Raphael and Michael:True.  
Gabriel:Since they're gonna be at this for awhile want some cocoa?Or the Eggnog,I spiked it with hardcore whiskey this year.  
Raphael,Michael and Lilith:GABE!  
Lilith:What are you thinking?!What if the children get into that?!  
Gabe:Then we tell them it's for adults only,calm down Lily.I know you want some.Do you really wanna be sober for this?(gesture to Lucifer and God duking it out in a blizzard)  
Lilith:No but someone has to set an example for our children.And their father is too busy being a fool. Raphael:I'll take some.

Raphael and Gabe take shots of the spiked Eggnog.Lilith is drinking cocoa with Charlie and Y/n while watching Polar Express.Micheal also grabs a mug and looks at his father and brother.  
Michael:At least nothing is on fire yet...(sighs and takes a sip)That's good hot chocolate.


	29. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay one more Y/n Mange Christmas chapter and I'm done with this Au for a while.Also this chapter can be considered canon in either of the timelines I've established so read it as which ever one you want.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh,and Merry Christmas!

Charlie:Its great that you're spending Christmas at the hotel,Y/n.   
Y/n:Its definitely better than going up to Heaven with Mom and Dad.I can live without another year of Grandpa and Dad trying to kill each other.And I'm sure Uncle Gabriel,Raphael and Michael feel the same way   
Angel:Sounds like one Hell of a Christmas,toots. Charlie:Yeah,but I do miss seeing them...Maybe I should send a card.Anyways,its time to decorate the tree.   
As Charlie,Niffty and Vaggie get the decorations out theres a knock at the hotel door.Charlie answers it thinking its guests who want to check in for the hoildays but she is met with a surprise.Lucifer and Lilith are in the doorway.  
Lucifer:Hell(Charlie slams the door and reopens it)O!(Charlie goes to close the door again but Lucifer catches it)Its good to see you too,Charlotte.(gets elbowed by Lilith)Ow!  
Lilith:Lucy,its Charlie.Hello dears.   
The two come in as Charlie tries to come up with words.   
Charlie:Mom!Dad...What are you doing here..? Lucifer:Your sister called us over and invited us. Charlie:Y/n!   
Y/n:What,you just were talking about how you missed them.Its Christmas Charlie,the time to reconcile and leave behind regrets.Come on Char...When we hear a Christmas carol... 🎵  
Charlie and Y/n:We know that it's Christmas at last 🎅Every time we hear a Christmas carol 🎶We know that it's Christmas at last 🌲  
Lilith:Snowflakes on shiny round noses❄(wipes icing off Lucifer's face as he scarfs down a cupcake)  
Lucifer:(finishes cupcake)An icy lake under your claws ❄  
Angel:(hold a basket with Fat Nuggets in it)The little ones tucked in their basket Dreaming sweetly of Santa Clause 🎅  
Lucifer:Feasting 🍗  
Vaggie:and friendship 🎶  
Niffty: and laughter 🎵  
Everyone but Husk and Alastor:The joy that this season brings 🎶Every time I hear a Christmas carol I think of these lovely things🎵 Every time I hear a Christmas carol I think of these lovely things ❤  
Charlie:Let's make the place look like Toyland 🧸With tinsel and blinking white lights🎄  
Razzle and Dazzle start flying up to the tree decorating it with ornaments and candy canes.  
Lucifer:We'll make our own garlands from Apples 🍎Husk:Warm up cider for frosty nights 🍻  
Alastor:(goes over to Y/n with mistletoe on his antlers)The mistletoe's gotta go somewhere So I can get cozy with you(leans in for a kiss) 👄  
Y/n:(picks up Fat Nuggets holds him up to get kissed instead.Y/n then gives Nuggets a cuddle as thanks and set him down)Every time I hear a Christmas carol 🎵  
Alastor and Y/n:There's nothing I'd rather do🎶 Every time I hear a Christmas carol ❄There's nothing I'd rather do 💗  
The two demons hug and Razzle and Dazzle fly overhead and drop a white tarp on top of them to give them some privacy.   
Charlie,Vaggie,Lilith:We've gone from spring🌱 into summer ☀️From fall 🍁into winter ❄And soon this December will end 🎶We'll tell the old year goodbye 🎵  
Lucifer wanting to see his OTP, tears the tarp off Y/n and Alastor which falls on the box of decorations Niffty is in.She pops her head out with the star on top ripping a hole into the tarp.Husk then lifts her out of it and flies her over to the top of the tree.  
Everyone:With our hopes rising high 🌟The star on the tree brightly shining 🎄When we hear a Christmas carol Our spirits begin to sing🎵 Every time we hear a Christmas carol Our spirits begin to sing🎶  
Alastor:(playing piano)The music might play on till midnight 🎹  
Angel:We're hoping our neighbors won't mind Charlie,Lucifer and Y/n:Tonight we are one happy family   
Lilith:With good will toward all demon kind  
Vaggie:The holly 🎶  
Niffty:the candy 🍭  
Angel:the presents 🎁  
Everyone but Husk:Will start my heart beating fast❤ But it's when I hear a Christmas carol🎶 I know that it's Christmas at last 🎄But it's when we hear a Christmas carol 🎶  
Y/n uses her electrokensis to turn on all the Christmas lights and lit up the tree.  
Everyone:We know that it's Christmas at last🎅

From here on out it's a Christmas karaoke with several characters singing songs.First up is Charlie with Y/n playing Christmas Showstopper,singing Run Run Rudolph   
Charlie:Out of all the reindeers you know you're the mastermind 🦌Run, run Rudolph, Randalph ain't too far behind🎶 Run, run Rudolph, Santa's got to make it to town🎅 Santa make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down🦌 Run, run Rudolph 'cause I'm reelin' like a merry-go-round🎠 Said Santa to a boy child what have you been longing for? All I want for Christmas is a rock and roll electric guitar 🎸And then away went Rudolph a whizzing like a shooting star 🌠💫Run, run Rudolph, Santa's got to make it to town 🎅Santa make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down Run, run Rudolph, reeling like a merry-go-round🎠 Run, run Rudolph, 🦌Santa's got to make it to town Santa make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down 🦌Run, run Rudolph, reeling like a merry-go-round 🎠 Said Santa to a girl child what would please you most to get? A little baby doll that can cry, sleep, drink and wet 🎶And then away went Rudolph a whizzing like a Saber jet ✈Run, run Rudolph, Santa's got to make it to town 🎅Santa make him hurry, tell him he can take the freeway down 🦌Run, run Rudolph 'cause I'm reelin' like a merry-go-round🎠  
Vaggie:Charlie who's Randalph?  
Charlie:I have no idea

Next is Lilith with Let it snow  
Lilith:Oh, the weather outside is frightful🔥 But the fire is so delightful And since we've no place to go Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow❄❄❄ Man, it doesn't show signs of stopping And I've brought me some corn for popping🌽 The lights are turned way down low(Y/n uses Electrokensis to dim the lights) Let it snow, let it snow ❄❄❄When we finally kiss goodnight 👄How I'll hate going out in the storm But if you really hold me tight All the way home I'll be warm(kisses Lucifer who gushes)  
Y/n:(fake gags)   
Charlie:(Laughs) 

Next is Vaggie and Angel Dust with Good King Wenceslas based on the Phineas and Ferb version Vaggie: Good King Wenceslas looked out On the feast of Stephen...   
Angel: Sorry I'm late. I was busy doin' some rewrites.(Me:So was I Angel.So was I)  
Vaggie: Rewrites? Angel: I've highlighted your parts. Now sing along.   
Angel: Santa Claus and all his elves Are making gifts for Fat Nuggets🎅  
Vaggie: I don't think that's how it goes   
Angel: Nobody's askin' you, moth!   
Vaggie:Angel! You're completely disrespecting this classic song. You're ignoring the historical context. King Wenceslas was a great man. You have no idea what this song is about!   
Angel: I know all about this song.  
The words were by an English guy 🎵The music, Scandinavian 🎶Wenceslas was five-foot-six (Wears a fake beard)He kept his face unshaven🧔 Though just a duke throughout his life 👑He always ruled so justly(puts on cape,crown and scepter)   
His kingly title was conferred  
Upon him posthumously😇(switches king outfit for a angel wings Me:Seriously were is he getting all these costume at?)   
Vaggie: Well, I stand corrected. You seem to have a lot of information. But if you know so much about it, why do you not sing the original song?  
Angel: I like my version better. It's about Nuggs! Nuggets should get lots of gifts🎁 Every Christmas season🎄 When I see a happy pig🐽 It always is so pleasin' 🎵That is why I changed the words To make the song more edgy 🎶If you don't like the way I sing You'll get a Christmas wedgie   
Vaggie: Oh, it's lovely. You're a veritable Oscar Hammerstein the Second, or uh...oh, well, at least it's over! 

Next we have another Phineas and Ferb song in the form of Christmas is starting now sung by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.Three guesses of who is singing it here and 2 of them dont count.   
Alastor:Hit it boys!(snaps fingers and summons shadow band)Grab some holly and mistletoe🎶 'Cause we're gonna go out tonight🎵  
We're gonna bask in the electric glow⚡ Of a million little colored lights🎄 We've got a lot to do, before the dawn 🌅So with a minimum of introspection🎶 I think you better put your mittens on🧤 Shake your jingle bell in my direction🔔 Sometimes I feel like a big snowman⛄ That's fallen under a plow   
But tonight I'm on top of the world 🌎We're gonna bring it around somehow. Christmas is startin' now!   
Oh yeah, Christmas is startin' now.   
That's right, Christmas is startin' now🎶 Oh yeah. Christmas is startin' now. Right now! Yeah! 

Now is Niffty singing the Christmas version of Currents of love with Y/n playing guitar   
Y/n:Niffty are you sure this is what you wanna sing? Niffty:Yes!  
Y/n:Okay...   
Niffty:Undercurrents pull at your heart 💗feeling so powerful it leads you 🎶on A new tide comes in and I'm washed away for forces stronger than hate are left in the wake🎵Fa la~Lalala Lalallalala Ba bump❤Ba bump❤fa Lalalalala Lalalla~

Husk is up next cuz he was forced to.  
Y/n:Come on Husk you've got to sing one song.Everyone else is doing it!   
Husk:Yeah and if all you knuckleheads were jumpin off a bridge I wouldn't do it either.  
Charlie:But its Christmas Husk!Pleeeaaaasssseeee? Angel,Niffty and Y/n:Sing!Sing!Sing!Sing!  
Alastor:Come along and sing Husker.   
Husk:(groans)Fiiiinnneeee.....   
Husk:Hot! Hot! Ooh, we got it! Hot! Hot! 🔥Angel,Charlie,Vaggie,Niffty,Lucifer and Y/n:Hey, we got it! 🎵  
Husk:Hot! Hot! Say, we got it! Hot chocolate! 🍫🔥Y/n,Lucifer,Charlie,Vaggie,Niffty and Angel:Hot! Hot! 🔥Oh, we got it!🎶  
Husk:Hot! Hot! So, we got it! Hot! Hot! 🔥Vaggie,Charlie,Lucifer,Y/n,Angel and Niffty:Yo, we got it! Hot chocolate! 🔥🍫  
Husk,Niffty,Angel,Y/n,Lucifer,Charlie and Vaggie:Here, we've only got one rule: 🎶  
Husk:Never ever let it cool! 🎵Keep it cookin' in the pot, You've got- Hot choc-o-lat! 🍫Charlie,Vaggie,Angel,Husk,Niffty,Y/n and Lucifer:Hot! Hot! 🔥Ooh, we got it! Hot! Hot!🔥 Hey, we got it! Hot! Hot! Say, we got it! Hot chocolate! 🍫🔥

And we have another Phineas and Ferb song with Y/n singing That Christmas feeling.Yes,I have a problem.So?Its a good song.  
Y/n:We're hanging the star above our tree, 🎄and don't it look lovely? The lights and the tinsel sparkling for you! 🎶I got that Christmas feeling,🎅 I take it everywhere I go. ❄And make that Christmas feeling grow! So warm by the fireplace we glow,🔥 all cozy and happy. 😊Hang all the stockings in a row with you!🎶 I got that Christmas feeling,🌲take it everywhere I go.And make that Christmas feeling grow! It feels like Christmas.🎄 Christmas again.🎵 (guitar solo)🎸

And finally we have Lucifer with You're a mean one Mr.Grinch.This was inspired by the version performed by Lindasay Stirling.   
Y/n is standing with a fiddle in her hands.She is wearing a red dress with large feathers hanging off the skirt hem.A red top hat with a big red feather is on her head.Charlie,Lilith and Angel are also wearing the same outfit holding huge red feather fans.   
Y/n:(points to Lucifer with the bow)Dont be thinking this is gonna be a usual thing.Im only doing it cuz its Christmas.  
Lucifer:Yes,yes Apple tart.Now play the song!(snaps)Dancers!   
Y/n starts to play the instrument,scowl on her face.Meanwhile Angel,Charlie and Lilith start dancing. Lucifer:You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch You really are a heel 🎵You're as cuddly as a cactus,🌵 as charming as an eel🎶  
Y/n:Hey!  
Lucifer:Mr. Grinch🎵 You're a bad banana🍌 with a greasy black peel!🎵You're a monster, Mr. Grinch🎶 Your heart's an empty hole💔 Your brain is full of spiders🕷  
Angel:Hey!  
Lucifer:you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch 🎵  
Lucifer stops singing and Charlie,Angel and Lilith stop dancing, making way for Y/n who plays a fiddle solo for the instrumental break🎵 🎻🎶  
Lucifer:You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch🎵 You have termites in your smile🎶 You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,🐊 Mr. Grinch  
Now, given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile, seasick crocodile!🐊As the words that best describe you are "Stink, stank, stunk"! 🎶  
Angel,Y/n,Lilith,and Charlie:No, no, no🎵  
Lucifer:"Stink, stank, stunk" 🎵Oooh, Mr. Grinch, Mr. Grinch🎶


	30. Swap Y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay there hasn't been any Swap Y/n since chapter 11 so that's what I'm gonna do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I come up with these,that doesn't necessarily mean that there in chronological order to the actual canon or Dapper Dresser.So sorry for the huge time skip from the last time Swap Au was here

This is Alastor and Y/n's first date part 1

Location Pier 

Y/n guides Alastor to the edge of the peer and walks off it.She does not sink into the water below but rather stands on a few frozen patches of ice under her feet.She extends her arm out to Alastor, beckoning him to follow her.  
Y/n:Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination🎵  
Alastor hesitantly steps on the ice and grabs on to Y/n' to keep him sturdy.She chuckles before waving her trident mic,then gestures for him to look at the sea before them.  
Y/n:Take a look and you'll see into your imagination🎶  
Alastor looks out and on the horizon he can see the water ripple as something begins to emerge.  
Y/n:We'll begin with spin🎵Travelling in a world of my creation🌎What we'll see well defy explanation🎶  
Alastor can see it now,a kingdom that looks straight out of a Disney movie.The spiraling towers rising from underwater.Y/n then snaps her fingers and the water pulls both of them off the ice.Alastor takes a deep breathe not realizing he doesnt need to breath.The water forms around them and propels them through it like jets.Alastor opens his eyes and stares in wonder at the demonic sealife before him.He see all sorts of fish,coral and plants.He hadn't expected there to be so much life in an ocean in Hell.He looks at the jet of water with Y/n in it and is surprised.Y/n's legs have completely disappeared leaving a powerful shark tail in their place.The iconic dorsal fin of a shark rest on her back and her entire body is lined with bioluminescence.She turns to look at him her teeth sharper than normal and Alastor can see a few extra layers peeking out.She then propels herself faster in the water leaving Alastor to eat her bubbles.Seeing as it's a race she wants Alastor grins and imagines the water rocketing him forward.It takes a moment but soon he catches up to Y/n.She slows and catches Alastor,their jets combining into one.She pulls Alastor close to her and begins moving her powerful tail.They shoot out of the water like a torpedo.The water around them falls back into the sea and Y/n's legs return.She resummons her trident which turns into an umbrella as they slowly descend onto the cobble stone walkways of the kingdom,now fully raised from underwater.  
Y/n:Come with me~And you'll be in a world of pure imagination 🎶


	31. Swap Y/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another time skip.To parallel the date in the last chapter this one takes place after Y/n leaves the hotel when Alastor breaks her heart.

Time:Night  
Location:???  
A demon is walking home after a night at the bar.He lights a cigarette and walks down the street.He hears a noise and sees a human looking girl come out of an alleyway.Her blue hair is down with a few spiky waves.She was wearing a dress a bit too fancy for this part of Hell.Detachable white and red striped sleeves, dark wine colored corset with a skull resting over her chest and a long purple fishtail styled skirt.Her skin was s/c but was also about pale but considering there was no sun in Hell that wasn't a surprise.It may have been a trick of the street lights because the man swore her eyes glowed blue before returning to their normal colors.  
Meanwhile at the hotel Alastor is sulking at the bar,thinking about how he was to hard on Y/n.Suddenly his Hellphone glows and switches the image to the alleyway and so does everyone else's.The tv turns on and shows the same image.The radio on one of the end tables glows and turns on with a crackle of static.  
Niffty:Oh fuck.  
Vaggie:What's going on?!I cant close out of this shit and my phone wont even turn the fuck off!  
Husk:Broadcast.It wont turn off because you're expected to listen.  
Alastor:Who is that?  
Angel:Dont know about the poor sap who's about ta get eaten but the gal is Y/n.Thats her original form.Her "human" face that she uses to make her look harmless.  
Before Alastor can ask anything Y/n's voice sounds out from their phones,the tv and the radio.  
Y/n:Hello kind sir I'm so glad you never met me🎵  
You're my first one so forgive me if it's messy.(clasps her hands together and gives a nervous smile)  
Just to be fair,  
I admit that I'm scared,  
Y/n approaches the man who thinks at this point Y/n is a first time hooker.He grabs her and holds her by the waist and holds her face ready to kiss her.  
Y/n:And sorry for what I must do~  
Y/n uses her free hand to snap her fingers.A water clone grabs the man from behind and puts him in a choke hold.He passes out and the last thing he sees as it goes to black is Y/n's sinister smirk and her glowing eyes.He comes to in a dark room only lit by torches.He tries to move only to see that he is bound to a chair with restaints made of water.He looks around and sees Y/n still in that human like form.Next to her is a rack of torture devices.  
Y/n:Best not to talk 'cause you'll kill the mood around you🎶Just close your eyes and be lucky that I found you🎵  
Y/n walks up to her victim to be and runs a finger down his face pulling it away as he tries to bite at her.She then raises her hand which transforms into claws.The man looks uneasy as she raises his shirt and holds her clawed hand to his torso.  
Y/n:No one will know,(giggles)Okay, here goes.  
It's easy as 1... 2... 3!  
Y/n strikes the demon with her talons leaving a deep slash in his stomach.She then proceeds to rip out his organs shoving them into her mouth.She laughs as she tastes the bloody intestines and goes over to her torture devices.  
The hotel crew and the rest of Hell can only watch in fear,disgust,awe and terror as Y/n rips the demon slowly apart before getting bored and consuming him.Still out for blood Y/n leaves as several water clones clean up the leftovers.Y/n walks the streets of Hell again still in her base form only that her skin has turned sharklike.She finds a lone woman walking and teleports to her using the puddle next to her startling the woman.  
Y/n:Good afternoon miss, you are my second victim🎶  
The woman recognizes the Siren Queen after seeing the shark skin and blood covering Y/n's body.She Runs away but end up bumping into Y/n who teleported in the direction she was trying to escape.  
Y/n:First one was trouble, not to worry 'cuz I fixed him😈  
Shhh, not a word(puts a finger to her lips)  
'Cause you won't be heard,  
When I have your life in my hands.  
Water binds tie up the women's limbs as Y/n begins to cut into her chest and rip out her heart.  
Y/n:Just know that what I am doing is part of a plan!  
I will connect with as many souls as I can!  
The next few hours are Y/n cycling through many victims.Brutalizing each of them before devouring them and getting more and more demonic.  
Y/n:And the soul that controls me, the one I should know,💕Must see my work here,  
Which means you have to go.  
Y/n stands over the remains of her lastest victim and blood bends the black liquid on the wall into a heart with her and Alastor's initials.Her water clone then taps her shoulder pulling her from her lovestruck trance and looks over to the demon her clone is pointing to.Y/n grins and begins to take pursuit.  
Y/n:Surely you could understand🎵  
Haven't you been in love on the edge where there's no turning back💖  
Just the thought of him can take you to some new dimension🎶  
Y/n swings around a light pole as she sings and the woman tries to walk away slowly only to run into Y/n's water clone.  
Y/n:So you do what you can just to get his attention,  
It drives you to boil, right up till you spill  
Y/n's hydrokensis makes all the fire hydrants burst and it swirls around her.  
Y/n:It can drive you to bliss(makes lovesick expression before it turns sinister)  
It can drive you to kill~  
Y/n freezes the water into hundreds of spikes and has them rip the demon into shreds as she laughs.  
Afterwards Y/n is in her room in Syclla's castle.She bloodbends the blood off her clothes and goes over to her vanity.  
Y/n:Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a circus🎪  
Clown with a tear in a tent that isn't working🎵  
Y/n reapplied her mascara and then her lipstick.She then reaches for her jewelry box and pulls out a bracelet with white,yellow,blue and pink pearls and a necklace with a green stone with a glowing swirl pattern.  
Y/n:All work no play,  
Day after day🎶  
Till I have a life in my hands!  
Y/n walks towards one of Valentino's clubs and throws open the doors.Everyone looks at the siren queen who has her arm raised gesturing for the crowd to bask in her presence.  
Y/n:Good evening gents!  
Step right up into my circus🎪  
I'm the ringmaster and this is where the work is🎶  
Y/n uses her other arm to summon her trident and points it at the patrons of the club.Several water clones appear by her side.  
Y/n:Goodbye you're done,  
Do as he does🎵  
To lead him right into my heart.💖  
Y/n murders every demon in the room.Their blood combining into a clone of Alastor.  
Y/n:If he could see me now,  
He'd know he's not alone.  
This trail of breadcrumbs I'm making,  
Leading him right to my home.  
Y/n walks towards the clone and grasps her hand in his.  
If he were with me now,  
Then love could be the twist💖  
We could be together,  
In a world where we exist.  
We could be together,  
In a world where we'd exist.  
Y/n's smile falters and she releases her hold onto the bloody clone of Alastor.It shakes for a moment before collapsing into a puddle.Y/n then looks at the sea of corpses.Some are left mostly intact with only puncture wounds from her trident while others are cut in half or decapitated.Blood covers the room.Y/n's main water clone approaches her and puts a hand on her shoulder.Y/n ignores her as she looks down at her bloody clothing.She starts to sing again but her voice wavers.  
Y/n:Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a circus...  
Sometimes, I'm in control...  
Electricity swirls around Y/n making all the lights in the club flicker on and off.Then a large shockwaves goes through the room and all the media devices turn black as the broadcast ends.


	32. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And we are back with Shark in Kinky boots

Y/n:Uh...I accidentally ate all of Al's jambalaya.How long do you think I'll live?  
Vaggie:Ten  
Y/n:Ten what bitch?  
Alastor:Nine...eight...  
Y/n:😱Oh would ya look at the time,I've gotta get to work!Val hates it when I'm late after all!(runs out of the room)

Y/n is looking at Alastor who is drinking while he reads a book.  
Y/n:Hmmm...  
Alastor:What is it Y/n?  
Y/n:(Bites Alastor's shoulder.Hard.)  
Alastor:Fuck!What the Devil was that for?!  
Y/n:I saw a snack and I wanted to take a bite.  
Later  
Alastor is peeking through Y/n's door.Y/n is lying on her stomach looking through Voxtagram.  
Alastor:(Bites Y/n's neck)  
Y/n:Oohhh Al!💖  
Y/n's moan activates Siren's voice and Alastor's face turns as red as his hair.Both of them look at each other in awkward silence before Alastor takes another chomp.  
Y/n:Ohhh!Harder Daddy!💗

Alastor and Y/n are playing poker  
Y/n:If ya keep undressing me with your eyes,I'm gonna catch a cold~  
Alastor:Ummmm..(asexual panic noises)  
Mic staff:Dude.  
Alastor:Then you better put on a sweater!(Snaps fingers and an oversized sweater appears on Y/n) 

Y/n:So...How big are ya?  
Alastor:Hmm,I believe 6'2.  
Y/n:No,I meant in bed?How big are you  
Alastor:(Great mathematical analysis and formulation)Still 6'2.Just sideways.  
Y/n:You dense motherfucker

Alastor and Y/n's netherzone baby is on a play mat with a rattle and a few plushies, munching on a cookie.They are wearing a pink and white striped onesie that Angel bought them.Meanwhile Y/n is still trying to find out what to name them going over baby names in a book.  
Angel:You should name 'em Ecstasy.  
Alastor:My child is NOT going to be names after a drug.  
Angel:What about Crystal Meth?  
Meanwhile baby finishes their cookie and starts reaching up towards their parents.Alastor snaps his fingers and Chester appears and makes funny faces to make them laugh.  
Y/n:That's a drug too.Youre not gonna fool me Angel.

Y/n and Alastor are on the couch in the lobby.Alastor is reading a newspaper while Y/n stares at his ears.  
Alastor:Staring is considered rude.  
Y/n:Yeah ,well I'm pretty fucking rude.  
Alastor:...Sirenix.  
Y/n:Your ears!Can I-  
Alastor:No.  
Y/n:Aw,come on Al.Pleeaaassseeeee?(makes pouty puppydog face)  
Alastor:That's not going to work on me.  
Y/n:(huffs)Fine,jeez...  
Alastor:(sighs)Five seconds  
Y/n:Huh?  
Alastor:You may touch them for five seconds.  
Y/n:Wait,really?(crawls on to Alastor's lap)  
Alastor:What the blazes?!  
Y/n:I've gotta get in the right position.!  
Alastor:Sirenix, I am already regretting even acknowledg-  
Y/n:(pulls Al's head down to pet his ears unknowingly shoving his face right into her clevage)Ooh,wow!So fluffy!  
15 minutes later  
Angel:Pfft!Nice work Nix!  
Charlie:Is...he okay?  
Y/n:He's either sleeping or dead bit I dont have the heart to move him.  
Alastor:(incoherent happy noises)

Charlie:Is everyone ready to go to the beach?  
Y/n:All ready here,Chuckles.I cant wait to try out my new bikini top.  
Charlie:Dont you mean bikini set?  
Y/n:Nope.Just top,I dont wear bottoms.  
Alastor:(static)What...?  
Vaggie:You cant just go to the beach bottomless!  
Y/n:Why not?I dont see the point in bikini bottoms if my legs turn into a tail whenever they come in contact with water!Learned real quick that I couldn't take showers anymore.  
Charlie:Maybe a one piece will work?  
Angel:Dont ya think she already tried that?I got her this real nice swimsuit,and her damn tail ripped it apart.  
Y/n:I dont see what the big deal anyway.I'll just wear my sarong like always...What's with the look?Ya didn't actually think I'd go half naked in public,did you?  
Alastor:(sigh of relief)Oh thank Lucifer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What should the next Shark in kinky Boots be?Should I finish the pilot version of this Au or should I keep doing these oneshots?


	33. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new Years and here to 2021!

Angel and Y/n are reading magazines.Y/n is reading about Hell's top 10 demonesses.Angel is reading the confessionals page.He finds one that captures his attention and draws everyone's attention.  
Angel:Oh Hey!Get a load of this one!"I secretly wanna sleep with the radio demon,I think he's so hot!"  
Alastor:(tired asexual sighs)  
Y/n:Yeah get in line sweetie,you ain't specail.Everyone wants to sleep with Al.Case and point,raise your hand if you wouldn't be opposed to sleeping with Alastor.  
Angel raises all four of his hands up,Niffty jumps up and down saying "Oh me!Me!",Charlie halfheartedly raises her hand embarrassed,and Husk raises his bottle of cheap booze.  
Alastor:W-What?!Husker!  
Husk:What?Get a few stiff drinks in me and I'd toss that ass like a salad.  
Alastor:You what my what like a what?!  
Y/n:Vags,put ya hand up.You're lyin.  
Vaggie:I'm a lesbian,you idiot.  
Y/n:Sorry Angie.(takes Angel's magazine and flips a couple pages to a lingerie set he showed her a couple minutes ago.Y/n then rips out the extended page and puts the page under Alastor's neck.)  
Niffty gasps in awe,Husk spit takes and Charlie gives Vaggie a surprised pikachu face as Vaggie raises her hand.  
Vaggie:(blushing)Ugh,this is stupid...  
Y/n:(smug)Yeah,that's what I thought!  
Alastor:You all are miserable perverts!  
Charlie:Dont worry Al! None of us would ever try anything. Youre just (nervous laughter) nice to look at is all.  
Alastor:Do you suppose I should thank you for restraining from assaulting me?!Digusting!(pushes Charlie away with Microphone)Obey the five foot rule!

Alastor and Y/n are stuck in a get along shirt as punishment by Charlie.Both demons look very unhappy.  
Y/n:Ya cant do this to me princess!I've got rights and shit!  
Charlie:You two are going to stay in that until you can get along.Understand?  
Y/n:Oh real rich coming from you,your highness!Wear one of these with ya dad and then come talk to me,you hypocritical bitch!  
Charlie:(whimpers)  
Vaggie:(hugs Charlie while glaring at Y/n)Do you want me to put you in a tighter shirt?!  
Y/n:Oh?Ya really want Al and I to get close,dont ya?  
Husk:I give 'em five minutes before they try to eat each other.  
Angel:I bet three!  
Vaggie:Y/n,take this punishment seriously!  
Y/n:You're the one who said it Vags,not me.And take this absolute joke seriously?You of all people should know this shit doesnt work!We look ridiculous!I haven't even done anything to deserve this!  
Alastor:(gets his nose tickled by Y/n's hair and sneezes)Aaachhhooooo!  
Y/n:Fucking Christ Almighty Al!Warn a gal next time!  
Alastor:Sirenix keep your blasted hair away from me!  
Husk and Angel:(laughing their asses off)  
Alastor and Y/n:Husker/Angel!Stop laughing!

Alastor has decided to sleep after an exhausting day of dealing with the shenanigans of the hotel crew.As he falls asleep he dreams of Y/n who is half dressed licking his neck before taking a bite.Subconsciously he ends up turning on and playing sexy music on the radio on his nightstand.  
Alastor:(wakes up in cold sweat) No.No,No,Nonononononono....Oh fuck!  
Alastor puts and hand over his face and closes his eyes.He remembers the dream and the music starts playing on the radio again.Alastor realizes what he doing and that he enjoyed the dream and screams into the void.  
Alastor:AAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHHHHH!

Alastor is taking a bath when Y/n comes in with in a bikini top and sarong.She also has a lifeguard chair and a life preserver.  
Y/n:Hey Al,I see that you dont have a lifeguard here at your beach.  
Alastor:(confused and annoyed)I'm not at the beach...?This is a bathtub!  
Y/n:Hehehe💗

Alastor is looking down at Y/n.His eyes drift down slightly to her chest and he ends up finding himself staring.  
Y/n:...(glares at Alastor and lefts his chin up to get her breasts out of his viewpoint)Hey buddy!Eyes are up here!  
Alastor:(nervous chuckling)What pretty eyes you have Sirenix!

Alastor:(tilts Y/n's head up)Now,now,Sirenix.You cant always expect that pretty face to get you out of trouble.  
Y/n:(pushes Alastor's hand away)Wait...ya think I'm pretty?  
Alastor:(realizes what he just said)Eh...uh...ummm....Yes,pretty...  
Y/n:(surprised he admitted it)Oh?  
Alastor:Yes.Pretty stupid!  
Y/n:Oh...Well you're pretty stupid yourself,pal.Stupid pretty~Hehehe

Y/n:(leans up against Alastor)Oohhh💖Alastor~  
Alastor:Does importuning me in this way make you feel better about your sad and miserable life?  
Y/n:(Finger guns)You got it babe!

Alastor is in Y/n's room sitting on her bed.His pinstripe coat is off,his bowtie is loosened and a few buttons on his shirt are undone.Y/n grabs the 'gift' Alastor gave her to wear and walks towards her changing screen.  
Y/n:I'll be right back~  
Alastor:(happy sighs)  
Fat Nuggets who happened to be on his shared custody weekend with Y/n walks towards the bed.  
Fat Nuggets:Hey you!Yeah,you!If you break her heart...I'll cut your dick off!  
Y/n comes back in wearing a red collar with a gold chain,a red corset and black frilly shorts with black garter belts and stockings.  
Y/n:I'm baacckkk!💖  
Alastor:(Screams in terror of the fact Fat Nuggets can talk and threatened him)  
Y/n:(thinks Alastor is screaming because of her and looks down at her outfit)Do I look bad?  
Alastor:N-no!Its!I-  
Y/n:Al if ya not ready yet that's fine.You can go back to your room and cool off if ya wanna.Ive gotta feed Nuggsy anyway.(picks up Nuggets)Who's a good baby boi?You are!  
Fat Nuggets:(makes happy pig noises but over Y/n's shoulder glares at Alastor)  
Alastor:...I cant believe I got cock blocked by a swine.

Y/n is in her room practicing for a show when Alastor knocks on her door.  
Y/n:Hello?  
Alastor:(knocks again)Sirenix?Are you in there?  
Y/n:Yeah,Imma little busy!Back off!  
Alastor:(opens the door anyway)I just needed t-OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS IN HEAVEN WHAT ARE THOSE?!  
Y/n:They're my tits!What did you expect,I told you not to come in!  
Alastor:Put them away!Put them away!Oh!Are you practicing?!  
Y/n:Yeah,you never see a pole dancer before?Do ya wanna try~  
Alastor:No!Why would you dance on a pole?!  
Y/n:I've got another one in here.Angie usually uses it but I dont think he'll mind.  
Alastor:(gtfo of Y/n's room)No!Goodbye!Charliieiee!We have a situation!

Vaggie is in her room trying to slit her eyebrow like she saw in a Voxtube video.As she puts the razor to her brow Angel and Y/n burst through her door.  
Vaggie:(accidentally shaves off her eyebrow from being startled)Shit!  
Angel:Hey toots,you didnt happen to see my straightener?Kinda ironic I'm askin a gay girl is she saw a straightener.  
Y/n:As ironic as a gay guy needing a straightener  
Angel:So how about it?  
Y/n and Angel look at Vaggie who has turned away from her mirror.They see her missing brow and fail to stifle their giggles.Later Charlie is helping Vaggie draw a new eyebrow with her eyeliner pencil.

Y/n is in her room in nothing but a fluffy f/c robe talking on her hellphone.On the other end,Alastor is on his rotary phone sighing as he listens to Y/n talk.  
Y/n:Ya know what happens when I'm lonely Al?  
Alastor:God damn it...  
Y/n:Al~💗When I'm lonely,I get hungry~And when I'm hungry I wanna choke on that red dick of yours!Toss your (censored)and lick all of you (censored) and taking out your (censored) and filling it with more teeth!Till your screaming (censored) like a fucking baby!  
Alastor hangs up the phone and the next day replays the conversation to Charlie on his microphone staff.  
Alastor:I think she needs to see a therapist about this.  
Meanwhile Y/n is having tea with Stolas,gloomily resting one hand under her chin,idly stirring the spoon in her cup with the other.  
Y/n:And then he hung up on me...  
Stolas:(pats Y/n's shoulder)Same story,dear.


	34. Meet the Au ShowSwitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile since we had one of these.Here the characters of Hazbin hotel and Helluva Boss are switched up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years!2021 is finally fucking here!Bet your excited just like last year when we all thought we'd party in 2020 like its 1920 again.How long do you think its gonna take for everything to start going down the toilet.

Meet the Au  
ShowSwitch

Summary:  
Helluva Hotel  
The heir of the Goetia family,Princess Octavia(Via for short),has opened a hotel for sinners trying to redeem themselves.Her mother Stella is anything but supportive of her and thinks of her daughter as an embarrassment to their family name.Via has converted one of her family's old vacation homes into the Happy hotel alongside her girlfriend, Loona.So far they dont have any clients except for Loona's adoptive father Blitzo,a stage performer who owes a large debt to Mammon and is always coming up with schemes and scams to try and collect the money.He isnt taking redemption seriously only at the hotel to be with Loona and no longer have to pay rent for their shitty appartment.When Via goes to advertise this hotel on 666 news it doesnt go well.The news crew are all laughing at her idea and Blitzo accidentally starting a Turf War with his old rival Robotic Fizzarolli makes the hotel look even more like a mockery.After the awful interview,Via's father Stolas arrives at the hotel to assist his little girl.Via is hesitant at first but accepts her father's help on the condition he doesnt take over and let's her keep her autonomy.He agrees summoning his imp servants Millie and Moxxie to help get the place in shape.

Hazbin Boss summary:  
Y/n is a siren who manifested in hell about a decade after the war between Syclla and Leviathan.She was orginally just trying to live her life but Hell was still wary of surviving fledglings let alone an actual siren.So after scrapping up enough money,she opened her own company as an Mercenary for hire,called S.I.R.E.N.Her employees consist of roommates Niffty and Husk,a cheerful cyclops with the energy of 10 toddlers and the grumpy but straight man cat demon.Y/n's beloved adopted son Angel serves as S.I.R.E.N.'s dispatch and secretary.In order to make S.I.R.E.N. different from the other assassins and mercenaries services,Y/n slept with the Overlord Alastor the Radio demon,for his magical Voodoo book that allows access to the living world.

Name:Y/n 

Age:???(Y/n:I'm an adult.Thats all you need to know)

Family:F/n L/N(father)  
M/n L/n (mother)

Friends:  
Angel  
Niffty  
Husk(Y/n:Come on Husky,its normal for friends to spy on each others private lives)

Demon type:Aquatic/Siren  
Shark and Electric Eel hybrid features

Powers/abilities:bioluminescence,2 layers of demon form,voice mimicking,toxic blood,Enchanced Strength and Speed,Siren's voice,Electrokensis,Hydrokensis,guns and weapons expert,Electromagnetism(the same way Sirenix Y/n does)

Cause of death:Murdered  
Thrown in the ocean,drowned,corpse eaten by sharks and eels  
Basically the same as Classic Y/n but in the 1900s

Sin:Accomplice to murder  
Again same as Classic but in the 1900s.

Career:  
(Former)Children's entertainer/employee of Loo Loo world(Y/n:You know how women dress up as "mermaids" at aquariums and shit?It was kinda like that,but worst.)  
(Former)Voice Actress for the Love Love Sayu animated series/employee of Vox Entertainment(Y/n:Why do I keep getting stuck with being a mermaid?)  
CEO and owner of S.I.R.E.N.

Enemies/demons she dislikes:  
Valentino(Y/n:Fucker kept hitting on me even though I said no!He got handsy so I made a gaint water hand punch him in the dick the electrocuted them.)  
Vox(Y/n:You're seriously gonna fire me for frying your cheating Man where's bits?!Fine!He deserved it anyway.)  
Alastor(Y/n:Kinky rich bastard...Do it for the book,Y/n.Do it for the book.)  
Vagatha(Y/n:I said I was Sorry I slept with your husband lady!What more do you want?!)  
Mr.Pentious (Y/n:Stupid fucking snake and his dumb egg animatronics.Kids have no tastes these days)

Fun facts:  
Helluva Hotel  
•Via started going by Via rather than Octavia when she moved out of Goetia palace as it reminded her of her mother.  
•Speaking of that old harpy,Stella strongly disapproves of Via's relationship with Loona.Not because Loona is a woman but rather because she is a Hellhound.A species of demon regarded as wild animals or pets even though they can walk on two feet and talk.  
•After Via moved out of Goetia Palace,Stolas had no reason to keep up his miserable arranged marriage with Stella and filed for divorce.The following years were pretty messy and gave Via a good reason not to visit.Stella now lives in a different manor belonging to her side of the family.  
•Despite coming to the hotel to help his daughter,Stolas takes quite an interest in their star(and only)patron,Blitzo.His feelings are one sided as Blitzo has the hots for Millie and Moxxie despite the two being married.  
•Millie and Moxxie have worked for the Goetia family for years and became part of Stolas' personal staff during his divorce.  
•Moxxie who is rather high strung takes care of hotel cleanliness and upkeep while his wife runs the front desk and mans the bar.  
•Loona is very protective over Via which others often mock her for being the Princess's literal bitch or her rabid guard dog.She carries a holy axe left after one of the extermination and shes not afraid to use it.

Hazbin Boss  
•One if the jobs Y/n first managed to get was at Loo Loo land.She was placed in a rather small tank with dirty water for all the children to state and point at.  
•Meanwhile Mr.Pentious and his animatronic Egg Bois gathered almost as much attention as the amusement park's main attraction Robo Fizz.  
after quitting from Loo Loo land Y/n decided to make it big in the entertainment industry as sirens were highly sought out.But working with Vox was no cake walk as he was demanding and whenever Valentino was present he'd flirt with Y/n despite the fact he was dating her boss and tried to hire her.  
•Angel died much younger and Y/n found him on the streets of Hell and took him in.She absolutely adores her precious Tony/Angie.Angel on the other hand finds her overbearing now that he's older but still cares about her.  
•Husk and Niffty are roommates.And no,not those kind of roommates.They were two people who could afford living together more than living apart so they rented an apartment.  
•Niffty is good with blades like knifes but can also use common house items like Frying pans,brooms and baking pins as melee weapons.Shes quick on her feet which makes it hard for a target to see her coming.Her small size also allows her to sneak into places the others are too big for.  
•Husk is still a drunk who's fighting style gets more savage the more he drinks.Think Demoman from TF.The fact that he can fly is also good for scouting or leading an aerial attack.  
•Alastor still manifested in 1933 and broadcast his murder spree of Hell's elites.Some time after the era of his main genocides he became apart of Lucifer's counsil making him an honorary Prince of Hell.He got to get Mammon's seat at the table.Mammon wasn't happy about that.  
•Unsatisfied with his marriage and the dreary boredom of his mundane life,Alastor enetered an affair with Y/n,Hell's only siren.At first he was only interested in the excitement and entertainment of someone mew in his life,along with the sex,but Alastor grew to enjoy the Siren's company.  
•Vagatha goes by her full name and is part of the aristocratic family's that are apart of Hell.She is the daughter of the Mothman and Radiance(bonus point to anyone who gets that reference)and has been raised in the high society of Hell.  
•Vagatha and Alastor's marriage was part of a deal with her parents.When Alastor was taking over their territory he nearly killed mothman before Radiance showed up.Due to being tired from fighting Mothman,Alastor and Radiance came to a stalemate.An agreement was met,their daughter's hand in marriage for Alastor to never harm a member of their family again.  
•Alastor only accepted the deal so he wouldn't get erased by Radiance while in his weakened state.He's regretted ever marrying Vagatha and the only good thing out of their marriage was their daughter Charlotte.  
•While not The princess of Hell and Heir to the throne in this Au,Charlotte is still a royal on her mother's side.And even if she wasnt,being the daughter of an Overlord isnt bad either.  
•Charlotte has always been more close to Alastor than Vagatha but as she grows older she starts to distance herself as young adults do.Their relationship gets even more estranged when Vagatha is having a fit,screaming and throwing knives and spears of light like her mother,at Alastor for cheating on her.With a siren of all demons as the opinion of sirens is still pretty much in the gutter.


	35. Y/n's pokemon team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was watching some pokemon videos and had the idea of which teams of pokemon would each of my Aus have.Note that this is not an Au,its just their hypothetical teams

Classic Y/n  
Blastoise(Mega)  
Wishiwashi  
Laturn  
Azumarill  
Morpeko  
Kingdra

Swap!Au  
Feraligator  
Slowking  
Crawdaunt  
Gorebyss  
Sharkpedo  
Ampharos(Mega)

Sirenix Y/n  
Primarina  
Milotic  
Alomomola  
Alolan Raichu  
Galvantula  
Araqunid

Y/n Mange  
Greninja  
Toxtricity  
Gigantamax Lapras  
Rotom(I can imagine it possessing some of her guitars)  
Jolteon  
Vaporeon

ShowSwitch  
Gigantamax Inteleon  
Swanna  
Golisopod  
Toxapex  
Eelektross  
Dedenne


	36. ShowSwitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little thing I forgot to mention,Husk,Alastor,Niffty,Stolas,Blitzo,Moxxie and Loona all wear their normal clothes but Millie,Via,Charlotte,Vagatha,Angel and Y/n dont.  
> Millie wears something more like the bodyguard suit she wore in Loo Loo land.  
> Octavia has a magenta jacket,a white blouse,a pink ribbon necklace with a star charm,black heeled boots and black dress pants.Charlotte wears a red beanie with a black tiara,red casual dress,black boots,red choker,and a black hoodie with a red apple on the back.Vagatha wears a silver crown, a long medival styled off white and pink dress with long draping sleeves(to mimic moth wings) and Victorian pink lace up boots.Angel still keeps his signature boots and black miniskirt but instead of the striped blazer wears a black leather jacket and pink tank top that shows off his midriff.Finally Y/n wears a long dark blue coat with f/c buttons,a black dress shirt,one of her shark teeth on a f/c chord,black dress pants and blue boots.

Helluva Hotel

Blitzo goes up to the front dest to ring the bell.  
Blitzo:Ding D-(bell doesnt ring)What?!Loony!What did you do to the bell?!  
Moxxie:Miss Loona mentioned how much it annoyed her so I fixed it.  
Blitzo:What the fuck Moxx?!  
Loona:Thank God.I hated that damn thing!  
Blitzo:Its a good thing I got this back up bell(pulls bell out of pocket.  
Moxxie:Back up bell?  
Blitzo:Yeah,I always carry one incase of a ding dong emergency.  
Loona:What the Hell is a dingdong emergency?!  
Blitzo:This!(Rings bell multiple times)Ding dong!Ding Dong!Ding dong!Ding dong!  
Loona:(Grabs ears)THIS IS THE DEEPEST CIRCLE OF MY OWN PERSONAL HELL!

Blitzo with baby Loona  
Loona:D-d-  
Blitzo:Aw,that's it Loony you can do it!Say Daddy!  
Loona:D-Da...DIE!(growling)  
Blitzo:We'll work on it 

Gift exchange for holidays

Via:Thank you for the gift Blitzo  
Blitzo:No problem,your gonna be my daughter in law when you and Loony get hitched.  
Loona:Blitzo!(elbows Blitzo)  
Via:(pulls a leash and spiked collar from box)But why did you give me these?I dont have a dog.  
Loona:Blitzo!(goes to hit him)  
Blitzo:Well I've still got presents to give!Merry Christmas you two!Dont do anything I wouldn't!  
Loona:Ughhhh...(explains to Via what the gift are for)  
Via:So it's a sex thing?  
Looma:Yeah...Sorry about my dad hes such a fucking perve-  
Via:Can we try it?

Stolas:(opens his gift from Blitzo)Oh Blitzy is this a passionate love letter?  
Blitzo:No.Its a restraining order.You cant legally be 20 ft near me.And right now your breaking the law

Millie:(tears open her gift to reveal a sexy maid costume)Oh Blitzo!Its just what I wanted!Wanna help me put it on?  
Blitzo:Oh yeah!  
The two sneak up on Moxxie and tie him up in order to force him into the maid dress.

Stolas showing off pictures of younger Via.He points to one of her crying as Robo Fizz leans over the stage creepily.  
Stolas:And this is a picture of Via at Loo Loo land!She'd cry tears of joy at this show!  
Via:(Traumatic flashback)  
Blitzo and Via:I hate that fucking clown

Blitzo and Via ordering a Robo Fizz bot just to beat and tear him apart  
Stolas:Aw,they're bonding ~

Hazbin Boss 

Husk:Y/n fucking ditched us!  
Alastor:No she didn't!I hit her on the head with a frying pan and put her in the trunk.So she wouldn't get hurt.  
Angel:That makes perfect sense.

Y/n:(answers a phone call)Yeah what do you want?I'm busy,tax fraud doesnt commit itself ya know.  
Alastor:Oh Darllliiinnngggg!I'm so terribly bored!Let's have a little chat,old gal.  
Y/n:Arent you married?Go bug,pun not intended, the shit out of her for once!  
Alastor:I'm afraid Vagatha only wants me around for target practice,we're not on speaking terms right now.Dont tell her this but I'm having an affair!  
Y/n:Oh good Lord in Heaven help me...(frustrated groan)We go over this everytime!I know you're having an affair!I'm THE affair!The other woman!The side chick!I'm the one that you're fucking!  
Alastor:Oh that's what I love about you!We have so much in common!I recently found out you also have a daughter.Why dont we arrange a playdate?  
Y/n:Son.I have a son,he just crossdresses.And....(looks at Angel who's drinking and smoking)  
Angel:What?  
Y/n:That's not gonna work out.

Husk:Seriously,what do ya see in her?  
Alastor:She makes me laugh  
Angel:Ya got some real low standards.But then again your wife is a miserable bitch who is more of a killjoy than Killjoy.

Vagatha:(points to Alastor)This is my husband,Alastor.(points to Y/n)And this is Alastor's....girlfriend Y/n

This is the last Christmas themed one shot I swear  
Y/n :Husky,Niffty!I'm here!Merry Christmas ya filthy anim-Alastor?!  
Y/n burst through the door of Husk and Niffty's house wearing a sexy Santa dress.Instead of her employees she sees Alastor.  
Alastor:Oh pearly,you're here earlier than I expected.(Hugs Y/n)Thats a really sexy costume.It looks good on you.  
Y/n:What..?No wait,Alastor!Where are Husk and Niffty and why are you here?!  
Alastor:Hmm,didnt they tell you?The little cyclops invited me to this little get together saying you would come.So in return I gave her and her feline friend the Hotel Christmas Dinner Gift card you refused to accept last time.  
Y/n:Damn it Niffty!  
Alastor:I think it's better for each couple to spend time together.  
Y/n:Cou..?!Niffty and Husk aren't a couple and neither are...No...Stop!(tries to think of a way to gtfo)Well,I didnt know you were coming so I didn't get you a gift.I mean I can go back and-  
Alastor:Oh,darling.I've already received my gift.  
Y/n:(realizes where this going)Wait,dont say anything.  
Alastor:(trails a hand down Y/n's back)Its well gift wrapped  
Y/n:Shit,I knew you were gonna say that...  
Alastor:(picks up Y/n)Dont you think it'll be the best Christmas Eve ever,Sea Star?  
Y/n:...Just dont forget this is my employees' house Al.

Y/n:(Hearing Angel say Alastor is calling for her)Oh it was one time!  
Y/n:(getting dressed after sleeping with Alastor again)Yep,just this one time.  
Y/n:(on a date with Alastor)Just this one time  
Y/n:(being held bridal style by Alastor at their wedding)God Fucking Damn it!

Angel:(walks into Y/n's office)Y/n we got a letter fro-  
Angel stops as he looks from the envelope he was holding and sees Alastor half dressed while Y/n is butt naked on top of her desk.  
Alastor:Hello Anthony!  
Y/n:(pulls coat over her body)God damn it Angel!Didn't I raise you to knock first?!  
Angel:(just drops the letter and Nopes the fuck out of there)  
Alastor:Well then,where were we Sea Star?(throws Y/n's coat across the room)  
Later  
Husk:What the fuck is up with Angel?  
Angel:I have seen things I can never unsee...  
Niffty:Oh he walked in on Mr.Alastor and Miss Y/n about to have sex in her office.  
Husk:Christ,they're doing that here now?!I need a drink(goes to take a swig of whiskey but it gets snatched by Angel)Hey!  
Angel:Shut the fuck up!I'm gonna drink until I get the image of my mom's naked body outta my head!


	37. More comments page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More comments with Classic Y/n

This is like the child Y/n thing put instead Y/n turns into 6 months old baby rather than 6 year old kid

Y/n sleeping on top of Fat Nuggets,cuddling him  
Angel:Charlie...get the camera

Vaggie:And thats why you need to behave or La Llorona will steal you and drown you in her river  
Y/n:(cries)  
Charlie:Vaggie!

Husk:(grabs cheap booze from reader)Sorry kid Im not suicidal enough ta give ya booze when your a baby.Id rather not get maimed by your crazy family.Here(Gives her a sippy cup)  
Y/n:(pouts and throws the sippy cup at Husk)  
Husk:(dodges)Damn kid.Your aim is gettin better

Alastor:There's that smile little sharkling(boops Y/n on the nose)  
Y/n:(Giggles and reaches towards Alastor's ears)

Y/n:D-Da  
Lucifer:Aww her second first words!Lilith get the camera!Shes gonna say Daddy!  
Y/n:Ddaa  
Lucifer:Come on Honeycrisp!Say it...  
Y/n:Dat Ass!Ass!Dat Ass!Dat Ass!  
Lilith:Im so sorry dear  
Lucifer:(heart breaks like glass)Who taught her that  
Everyone glares at Angel  
A few hours later  
Lucifer:Da-  
Y/n:Damn!  
Angel:Heyit wasnt me this time!  
Husk:(starts whistling and cleaning the bar counter)  
Lucifer:💔(sulks in the corner)  
Lilith:Its okay dear.With how much people swear in Hell its not surprising thats what shes repeating.Just keep trying and Im sure her next words will be "Daddy"  
Y/n:Mama!  
Lucifer:OH COME ON!

Y/n:(Dressed as Alice)I must be mad  
Alastor: (ears and tail have been swapped with a cat's)We're in Hell,Darling.We're all mad here!  
Angel:(dressed as the Red Queen)Anyone got any scissors?This dress has too many layers(grabs an axe)This will do  
Charlie:(dressed as the March Hare)Angel!Thats Chiffon lace!  
Angel:Look toots,its either the dress or someones head(cuts dress above the knees))Better.What do ya think Husky?  
Husk:(In the Mad Hatter's hat)What I always think.That you need to get the fuck away from me.Shouldnt you be the queen of hearts princess?  
Vaggie:(Knave of hearts)Charlie would never abuse her authority and have their heads cut off)  
Charlie:Oh Vaggie!  
Y/n:And shouldnt Husk be the cheshire cat considering hes the one who is actually a cat?Oh hi Nifty  
Nifty:Theres Dust!Dust!So much dust!No time to say hello goodbye!Theres dust theres dust theres dust!  
Alastor:But my dear,Husker is no fun.

Angel:So if ya have Charlie's ring tone to Space Unicorn what ya got for the rest of us  
Y/n:Dad is highway to hell,Mom is Castle,Vaggie is La Llorona for that time she scarred baby me saying that La Llorona would drown me...again.Youre Angel with a Shot gun,Moll's Spider Dance,Cherri is well Cherry Bomb duh,Alastor is You're never fully dressed without a smile  
Angel:Wait,Strawberry Pimp doesnt even have a phone  
Y/n:He uses his microphone to call me.I dont really have a choice.Anywho,Husk is 99 bottles of beer on the wall,Nifty has Happy little Working song,and Vox is Video killed the Radio Star  
Alastor:(static)1 thats a lie,Video didnt kill the radio star.I did.And why exactly do you have Vox's number Darling  
Y/n:It was just a joke(quickly deletes Vox's number from phone)

Y/n gets kidnapped by Sir Pentious to lure Alastor

Alastor:Dont worry Darling.I'll save you  
Y/n:(wrapped in Pentious' tail)Im a damsel.Im in distress.I can handle it.(electrocuted Pentious whick leaves him stunned on the ground)Have a nice day.

Y/n:Ive got an idea.We're gonna need Cherri(pulls out hellphone)

2 hours later,Angel,Y/n and Cherri stand outside the porn studio.Theybe spent the last 2 hours making Valentino's office the grandaddy of all bombs,filling it with enough explosives for a fourth of July party.

Y/n:And that should do it.Push the button,Angel!  
Angel:(pushes button on remote.Car alarm goes off)  
Y/n:Wrong button!Turn it off  
Cherri:Gimme that(takes remote from Angel and turns off alarm.Then presses the right button and the top half of the Porn studio explodes like a Micheal Bay movie)

Cherri:Holy Fuck...That was fucking awesome  
Angel:This is amazin!I cant believe we did this!..Val is gonna be furious  
Y/n:As long as he doesn't find out it was us its fine  
???:Ahem

The three demons turn around to see Valentino looming over them

Cheri/Angel:Fuck this shit Im out!/Every demon for themselves toots!(Runs off)  
Y/n:Traitors!(turns to Valentino)Heh heh...ALASTOR!  
Alastor:(teleports at Y/n's call)You called my precious pearl?Lets get you home,darling you smell like gunpowder  
Y/n:Messing with 5000 pounds of explosives will do that to you

When Kyle was brought to the hotel  
Y/n:Alastor,I want to know what you think I should do to him.And then I want to do worse

Alastor:...Oh dear Lucifer,I have got it bad dont I  
Angel:Like a hooker on PCP  
Husk:Like me and Booze  
Charlie:Like Dad and apples  
Lucifer:Hey!Wait no thats accurate  
Lilith:Ahem  
Lucifer:But no apple could ever compare to my darling Lily  
Lilith:Hhmmm,thats right.Otherwise youd we sleeping on the couch tonight

Lucifer:Damn it why dont I have grandchildren yet?!I know!I'll speed up the process(snaps)

Y/n and Alastor appear dressed in a suit and dress.Charlie,Vaggie,Nifty,Husk and Angel are also in suits and dresses.

Lucifer:By the power vested in me by me I now procounce you demon and wife.Now go make me grandbabbies

Charlie in the limo taking pictures of Y/n and Alastor on their date:Awww!So cute together!(sends them to Lucifer

Somewhere in Mange Manor  
Lucifer:(looking at pictures sent to his hellphone)This pleases me

Lucifer:I got something for my two precious daughters  
Charlie:Oh dad you shouldnt have

Charlie and Y/n open their gifts and pull out sweaters.Charlie's is white with red glitter horns and tail with the words Devil spawn also in red glitter.Y/n has a (favorite color)on that has a pentagram and reads Daddy's little Hell raiser in black  
Y/n:You really shouldnt have

Charlie wanting to help Y/n conquer her fear of water takes the crew on a boat ride.Its her family boat so Lucifer who wants to ship(pun not intended)Y/n and Alastor is there too.Sir Pentious crashes the outting and Y/n falls into the water.But transforms and beat the absolute Hell out of him.Or alternatively,how the crew finds out that Y/n is a siren and Alastor's first time being horny for something that isnt the suffering of others.Well technically he still is but not just getting off from suffering.

Lucifer:So Y/n,when am I getting grandchildren?Daddy isnt getting any younger Apple Tart.I wanna see Lucifer jr!  
Y/n:I already have a baby  
Everyone but Angel:What?!  
Y/n:Its Fat Nuggets.Angel and I share custody  
Angel:She gets weekends

Alastor:My dear,I have to tell you something  
Y/n:Yes Alastor  
Alastor:I lost a bet with Angel Dust and now I have to name one one our children after him  
Y/n:Between my bet with Lucifer our poor children are going to be stuck with horrible names.What was it that you bet on?  
Alastor:We were playing poker.If I won Angel would admit he is friends with you.And I only lost because Husker is a dirty cheater.And he will be punished accordingly  
Y/n:Dont kill Drunkle

After the first time Y/n and Alastor bang

Y/n:(Walks downstairs)  
Charlie:Y/N?!(starts crying)Youre Alive!  
Vaggie:That son of bitch didnt hurt you did he  
Y/n:Im fine.Why wouldnt I be  
Angel:Cuz ya were outta it for a week,Doll.These crazy bitches thought Strawberry Daddy killed you.But I knew you were just fuckin.  
Y/n:A week?!  
Angel:Eh more like 5 days.So,hows it feel not ta be a virgin no more

Lucifer teleports in the room and puts an ear to Y/n's stomach  
Lucifer:Father Damn it!After all that you're still not pregnant?!Are you doing this to spite me?!

When Y/n and Alastor finally do have kids  
Lucifer:So wheres Lucifer Jr?!  
Angel:And mini Angel  
Y/n:QUIET!I have spent 17 Damn hours in labor,you are not Fucking yelling!

Alastor:After some discussing a while back we figured out what we'd do so,how was it you put it Darling"So our children dont get saddled with that"?Yes thats right.Anywho,this is Lucienne Lily Mange  
Alastor leans down abit to show everyone a sleeping small girl with red curls,grayish rough skin,and tiny red translucent fins.A tail pokes out of her blanket.She is a splitting image of Alastor with her mother's siren features.

Y/n:And this is Angelo Charlie Mange.We agreed Charlie was androgynous for either gender

Everyone goes over too Y/n's bed and looks at the baby boy with tufts of ( hair color) that fades to black.He has deer ears and tiny little stubs that will grow into antlers one day.His eyes are (eye color)with a tint of electric blue.


	38. ShowSwitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Helluva hotel and Hazbin Boss oneshots

Helluva Hotel+Hazbin Boss  
Parent and child costumes  
Via and Stolas dressed up as Raven and Trigon  
Blitzo dressed as Red Riding hood and Loona as a werewolf lumberjack  
Y/n and Angel as Mother Gothel and Rapunzel  
Alastor and Charlotte as the Mad Hatter and Alice

Helluva Hotel  
Blitzo is is traveling through the sewers holding a red ballon,a psychotic smile on his face.  
Loona:Dad,get out of there.People are giving us looks.

Blitzo:Loony look what I found!(pulls out a bone shaped chew toy)You used to love this thing!  
Loona:So?!I'm not 10 anymore just throw it out!  
Blitzo:...(sad face)  
Loona:..Give it there!(snatches toy)

Blitzo:(hugs Stolas possessively)  
Stolas:Blitzy💗  
Blitzo:Shut up

Lucifer:Soooo....Him?(points to Blitzo trying to fit a footlong sub sandwich down his throat while Millie cheers him on and Loona records it on her Hellphone)  
Stolas:Yeah,him💖

Loona:You were a substandard dad but the only one I had 🎶I grew up hearing your lastest scheme from down the hall🎵But when I look at this thing(picks up Mary Mcguffin doll)It makes me wanna sing🎵Maybe you're not so bad a dad after all

Stolas:You're stupid.I like that in a man~  
Blitzo:Uh..Well,I'm flattered that you feel this way

Stolas:(pulls out a basket of red and white speckled eggs)Blitzy Look at our children!  
Blitzo:...(throws himself out the window)  
Stolas:Kidding it's just chocolate eggs!

Blitzo meeting Via for the first time:(throws an arm around her shoulders)I always wanted another daughter

Moxxie:I'm angry at you.  
Millie:I'm angry with you too!  
Moxxie:(Growls)Let's give each other some space.  
Millie:Good idea!  
Millie crawls out of Moxxie's lap and onto the other side of the couch next to him.The twi slowly inch third hands towards each other before holding them.  
Blitzo:(Looks at Via)Is this a joke?  
Via:No this happens everytime they argue.

Millie:This is Moxxie my Ex.  
Moxxie:Wait what?!  
Millie:Ex Boyfriend.Hes my husband now~  
Moxxie:Awww(nuzzles Millie)

Hazbin Boss  
Husk:Y/n ya cant just respond to a business email with "Go fuck yourself" in the subject line!  
Y/n:Husk,this is my company and I'll send emails however I want!Anyone who doesn't like that can go eat my ass!  
Alastor:(bursts through the door)I volunteer as tribute!

Vagatha:Stop fucking my husband!  
Y/n...You know what?I'm gonna start fucking him even harder!(flips Vagatha off)

Alastor:(looks at happy Niffty who just got a Thing from Husk)Hmmm...Darling,I want a little souvineer too  
Y/n:Alastor I already told you I'm on guard duty  
Alastor:I'll pay you,money💸  
Y/n:So which one do you want?  
Alastor:The blue colored one💗  
Y/n:Okay blue,blue,there is no blue....Wait a second,I meant a prize from the booth!  
Alastor:That one(points to a Gator plush that's blue with purple eyes and belly)  
Y/n:(Hits the target)  
Carnie:That's too bad.The target has-  
Alastor:(Glares)  
Y/n:The target has what?  
Carnie:Um,well...Too bad for me.That target has two prizes!  
Alastor:You're the best.Thank you Sea Star💗  
Y/n:Yeah I know.(gives the second prize,red colored Thing to Charlotte who begrudgingly accepts)

Heroin:Anthony,come here!  
Y/n:Like Hell Angel is going with you!  
Heroin:That's my son bitch!He answers to me!I brought him into this world!  
Y/n:The living world maybe but it takes two to tango!And from what he's told me your the reason he was sent down here so soon!And I have raised Tony ever since he fell in 1934!Do you have any idea how dangerous it was being a single mother who is an employee for Vox during the Era of the Radio Demon?!About how many employees would get erased in the crossfire of their stupid pissing contest?!I've cared for and sacrificed more than you ever did when he was alive!So where do you think you get off demanding my son to go with you so he can get abused?!  
Heroin:Ain't my fault ya put your neck out for that brat!He belongs to me!He ain't your son!  
Y/n:(pulls out official documentation)These adoption papers beg to differ.Dont talks to me or my son again.And if you do,well...(smirk full of teeth)Spiders are venomous not poisonous so I can eat you without having to work about indigestion.You on the other hand,well if you try to bite me with your venom you're gonna get a nice taste of poisonous blood.And they dont make antidotes strong enough for siren poisons anymore.Why would they when only one exists?And you're a fool to think I'd give you any of the ones I've made.So unless you want a very painful second death,I suggest you listen.Regeneration is weakened or outright overpowered by any poison or venom a siren can make.(turns with a smile at Molly and Arackniss standing behind Heroin)You to on the other hand are welcome to see your brother.On the condition you dont mention this bastard in front of Angie.Now if you excuse me,my son and I were on our way to work.  
Angel:(walking away with Y/n)When did ya get actual adoption papers?I thought they wouldn't do that cuz you were a siren?  
Y/n:I cashed in a favor from Alastor.  
Angel:Thanks Mom  
Y/n:Angie,you called me mom(tears up)Its been so long since you've said that to my face.

Alastor:(holds out a pair of cuffs)Chain me up Pearly?  
Y/n:(sighs but takes the cuffs and pushes Alastor's chest to get him to lie on the bed.Then cuffs his hands to the headboard.)  
Alastor:Oh Darling~(Notices Y/n leaving)Darling?!💔

Y/n:Dont give me that look you rich asshole.Im just here cuz I need a favor.  
Alastor:Oh?(caresses Y/n's face)That's what you said last night.And the night before THAT.Come here my little liar.(gives Y/n a peck on the lips)  
Y/n:(blushing)I fucking hate you,ya know that?!  
Alastor:(chuckles)Whatever you say,Sea Star.Whatever you say.

Y/n:(checks phone texts)Damn!Alastor is supposed to come visit today.That deer is such a pain in my ass.  
Angel:Ya talkin about that Strawberry Pimp you're 'not so secretly' in love with?  
Y/n:(blushing)Tony!  
Angel:If you two get married,do I have ta call 'im Dad?  
Y/n:(blushing harder)Tony!!

Alastor:Pearly,I've come to ravish you!  
Y/n:Its not the full moon Al.  
Alastor:Fine.I'll shall sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the month.

Alastor:(licks Y/n's neck)Oh Sea Star,Let me have a taste~(bites Y/n's neck and breaks skin)  
Y/n:(pushes him off)Alastor!My blood is poisonous!Hellphone!Hellphone!(grabs phone and calls Angel)Angie!This is important!I need you to-(Alastor starts lapping up the blood)Alastor,stop licking my neck!It'll only kill you faster!Wait, Angie dont hang up!Mommy needs you to bring the Anti toxin in the med kit here right now!Before I have a dead Radio Demon on my hands!

The S.I.R.E.N. crew,Alastor and Charlotte are playing Monopoly.Y/n and Angel are wearing sunglasses as Angel makes it rain money on her.Husk is passed out drunk on the board.Niffty has a microphone narrating like shes an announcer.Charlotte is praying to what ever higher beings will listen for this to end already.And Alastor is in a box aka Horny Jail.


	39. ShowSwitch Hazbin Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had to do at least one pilot for this Au so I figured I do the shorter one first.Ya know cuz several things dont need to be rehauled here.Just some differences here and there.So enjoy Hazbin Boss

Inside the S.I.R.E.N. building a meeting is in progress.Y/n paces infront of a white board that shows a decline from good to decent to Fix This Shit!  
Y/n:So I know business has been a bit...slow.Its no one's fault,Husk.Now does anyone have any ideas on how to drum up business?  
Niffty:Oh!We could do a car wash!  
Y/n:Niffty,nobody but rich assholes car about clean cars in Hell.Oh,what about a billboard?!  
Husk:We dont have the fucking money for one.  
Y/n:Real helpful Husk.Glad you're contributing.Have you all forgotten what service we provide people with?

Y/n grabs the tv remote and shows a video of Husk shooting a shot gun into a demon's mouth,Angel blasting a few rounds at a crowd of demons with his Tommy gun,Y/n biting through another demon's jugular.,and Niffty slashing someone with a knife.Y/n,Niffty and Angel eat popcorn as they watch.

Y/n:Those were the good days.  
Husk:I dont need reminding considering you blew our damn salaries on a fucking obnoxious TV ad.And then had it run on a channel nobody fucking watches!  
Y/n:Hey what's obnoxious about a super fun jingle that distracts people when an advertisement is spouting Bullshit?  
Niffty:People love musicals!  
Y/n:Exactly Nift!And we're basically doing a musical!Are you gonna crush my dreams of being on the silver screen like Vox did?  
Husk:Y/n-  
Y/n:Cuz all I see right now is Vox's asshole talking to me,crushing my dreams of who I really am inside.  
Niffty:I can't believe you would crush somebody's dreams like that Husk!I thought I knew you!  
Y/n:Even after I made you employee of the month over Angie(pulls out a picture of Husk absolutely sloshed)  
Husk:Okay,okay!Enough with making me the bad guy!Nobody actually likes the damn song!  
Niffty:I liked it.  
Husk:Don't TELL her that!

Cut to commercial  
Y/n:Hi there.The name is Y/n and I am the founder of S.I.R.E.N.Are you a piece of shit who got yourself sent to Hell?(Screen shows Y/n maniacally laughing at an orphanage for elderly deaf newborn kittens on fire)Or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED by some bastard?(show picture of Y/n in an angel costume throwing away a soda can instead of the recycling bin right next to it)  
Commercial cuts to a large red demon while Y/n holds a sign that reads"This guy who hired us".  
Ohio demon:After lovingly killing my wife for FUCKING THE MAILMAN!You can imagine my surprise when I ended up here,when the state of Ohio killed me!I really wanted to stick it to that YAPPY JOGGER who saw me hiding the body!  
Cuts to Husk and Niffty setting up candles and drawing a pentagram in a circle.  
Y/n:Well luckily thanks to our access to the living world(opens book and summons portal.Sparks fly and Niffty and Husk run off to avoid being shocked)We can help you with your unfinished business by killing anyone who screwed you over while you were alive!(falls back into the portal)

Y/n:When you want somebody gone and you dont want to wait too long call S.I.R.E.N.We'll take care of that naggy Karen or that spouse who fucked your best friend🎵We are S.I.R.E.N.We do our job so well,cuz we come right out of Hell~We'll end your rival's life🎵We'll even let you keep the knife🎶(cycles through S.I.R.E.N's different targets and the ways they were murdered.Medival executioner style,Y/n in her aquatic transformation with Husk and Niffty jet skiing behind her while they chase their fleeing target who thinks Y/n is a shark after seeing her dorsal fin in the water,pouring gasoline and burning a victim alive with a flamethrower,smothering someone with their pillows,Y/n and Niffty singing on a piano that's crushed their target to death,Y/n powering an electric chair)We are S.I.R.-  
The song gets cut off when Husk accidentally shots a child instead of his mother.The boy is rushed to the hospital where the doctor and nurses revive him with multiple defibrillators.Outside the room the team of S.I.R.E.N. wait for news on the kid instead of you know,his mother who apparently didnt see or hear her kid get shot(Y/n:Real lousy mom,if you asked me.If Angie so much as stubbed a toe I'd drop everything)  
Doctor:He's stable but he'll need surgery.What insurance provider do you freaks have?  
Y/n:Oh shit.  
As they have no insurance S.I.R.E.N is thrown out with the kid on the hospital bed.  
Y/n:Kids die for frreeee🎶

Back in the office in the present  
Husk:That was Angel's fault.He had one job and that was to give us the right information.  
Angel:(playing on his Hellphone)Go sit on a dick Husk.  
Husk:You sit!On a -DO YOUR DAMN JOB!  
Y/n:Now,we dont blame our screw up on Angie.He didnt do anything wrong(hugs Angel)  
Husk:Are you fucking kidding me?!He's awful

Angel is at his desk, reading a magazine when the phone rings.  
Angel:Hello, S.I.R.E.N?  
Niffty:Angel I got stabbed!Tell Husk!Oh,feellllinngggg wooozzzzzyyyy....  
Angel just hangs up like nothing happened.

Y/n:(walks to Angel with a present)Happy Adoption Anniversary Angie!I got you a little something~  
Angel:Is it a cure for Syphilis?  
Y/n:Uh...no?  
Angel:Then I dont WANT it!  
Angel then throws the gift on the ground and a ton of little spiders crawl out of it.Y/n runs out the room while the spiders climb on top of Angel and swarm him.  
Y/n:Sorry,you love other spiders.  
Angel:God damn it...

Angel is watching Via sing Inside of Every demon is a rainbow on his monitor.Husk comes into the room with a poster for Alcohol Anonymous.  
Husk:Did you just fax me an Ad for A.A. meetings?  
Angel:No.  
Husk:Why the Hell would anyone send me this?  
Angel:Come on Husky,you know why.

Angel is digging through the fridge in the break room.  
Angel:Whoever has this fucking avocado salad,I'm taking it cuz I'm off the worst trip right now.  
Niffty:Why would you do drugs on a work night?  
Angel:Dumbass,I'm high off from this morning.  
Husk:Is that my fucking lunch?  
Angel:You know what?!I cant take this assualt right now!I'm going to blow off some fucking steam!(shoves Husk out the way)

Back to the present  
Y/n:Look Tony is a valued member of our family and you dont get rid of family.  
Husk:We aren't a fucking family!We are the employees,you're the boss!You treat him like he's some damn troubled teenager!He's more like a PCP addicted crack whore you let man the phones!  
Y/n:Hey that is offensive.Without addicts I wouldnt have half the joy I do in afterlife.  
Y/n looks out the window at a demon holding a "muney 4 drugs" sign.A lady walks past, and gives the man a dirty look before kicking the little pan that had his few coins in it.Y/n laughs and then turns her attention back to her employees.  
Husk:While we're talking about "family" can ya stop fucking stalking me and Niffty outside of work?!  
Niffty:Husk it's not stalking.Dont make such a fuss.  
Husk:What?!

Husk is in the kitchen helping Niffty cook.  
Husk:Hey kid,can ya hand me the butter?  
Niffty:Sure thing.(opens fridge)  
Y/n:(tosses butter in Niffty's hand)Spolier alert,the butter is spoiled.  
Niffty:(giggles)  
Husk:What's funny?  
Reader:Real impressive word play  
Husk:Why the Fuck are you in our fridge?!

Husk is asleep ,happily purring when he feels weight on the bed.He tiredly opens his eyes to see Y/n watching him sleep.  
Y/n:Whatcha dreaming about?  
Husk:I was dreaming about Oktoberfest and now I'd like to get back to that.

Husk:Stop doing that!  
Y/n:Ya got something you dont want me seeing?Are you a baby wiener haver?  
Angel:(laughs)  
Husk:Ya think you're a big fuckin riot,don't ya?!  
Niffty:Husk calm down!You're gonna raise your blood pressure!  
Husk:I am fucking calm!  
Niffty:Shhh there there(pets Husk behind the ears)  
Y/n:Look I don't judge the boring shit you guys do out of work so dont judge me.  
Husk:Oh I fucking judge you alright!  
Niffty:Husk,she's our boss!  
Husk:Well she a god awful one!  
Y/n:I cant believe you said that after all I've done to make this business a success!

Vox is in his office when Y/n teleports into his tank of electric eels.  
Y/n:Can I borrow a set to film a commercial for my business?  
Vox:No.Now get out.

Vox is sleeping when Y/n sneaks into his room and pokes him awake  
Vox:Wha-How the Fuck did you get in here?!  
Y/n:Your dishwasher.Can I shoot that commercial please?  
Vox:No!

At Valentino's place Vox and Val are about to get it on when they see Y/n lying on the bed like a French girl  
Vox:How you get here this time?!  
Y/n:Yeah,so apparently I can teleport from bodily fluid and not just water.(sees Vox's look of digust)Yeah it's about as gross as it sounds.So about that commercial...  
Vox:Fine just get the Hell out of here!  
Valentino:Actually since ya here angelfish,we could have a little fun~  
Vox:Val!  
Y/n:Touch me and I'll bite that tiny dick of yours off.Now if you excuse me,I'd rather not leave the way I entered so I'm going to use your bathtub.Also by the way Vox,it wasn't yours or Val's on that bed that I came through.

At the office Y/n and Niffty are drinking by the water cooler when Angel calls out for her  
Angel:Yy/nnnn,clingy rich strawberry pimp is on the phone wants to talk to talk to you.Says its urgent.Sounds a little DTFE...  
Y/n:(throws her cup to the ground)Damn it!It was one time!If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole,we wouldnt be able to go to the human world.  
Niffty:You did what?  
Cuts to Alastor's room at his manor.Y/n is half dressed carrying a red book with green Voodoo symbols while Alastor is still asleep purring softly.  
Y/n:(whispering as she walks to the balcony)Got this book,got the book...Got this fucking heavy book.  
Y/n get to the balcony and tries to get down but falls due to the book's weight.She lands on the cake that Vagatha was about to serve at her tea party.  
Y/n:Sorry I fucked your husband.  
Cuts back to the office  
Angel:Y/N!  
Y/n:I HEARD YOU ALREADY!

Y/n:(on her Hellphone with Alastor)So what can I do ya this time Alastor?(Y/n:looking back,I really need to work on my phrasing)  
Alastor:I need you to take out a political candidate that's causing trouble on Earth for a few of my associates.He's trying to convince people Global warming is skyrocketing.  
Y/n:Isnt it?  
Alastor:Yes but more people will die if nothing is done about it and it gets lonely here,Sea Star~  
Y/n:Okay well that makes sense.  
Alastor:Do you know what happens when I'm lonely Pearly?💗  
Y/n:God fucking damn it...  
Alastor:When I'm lonely,I get hungry~And when I'm hungry I wanna suck on that sweet pussy of yours!Toss your (censored)and lick all of your(censored) and taking out your (censored) and filling it with more teeth!Till you're screaming (censored) like a fucking baby!  
Y/n who is incredibly disturbed,hangs up the phone.Then uses her landline to smash it.Then she pulls out a blender and puts all the pieces in before turning it on.  
Y/n:Angel!Feed this to Fat Nuggets when we get home.

Back to the present  
Y/n:I dont see anyone else sleeping with that red dickhead so we have access to the living world.  
Husk:And look what you have to show for it!A company that's stuck in the fucking gutter!  
Niffty:Husk!Are you trying to get fired?  
Y/n:No its okay,Niffty.Your roommate is,how do I say this without being offensive...senile.  
Husk:Does insulting me make you feel better about your sad,shitty life?  
Y/n:Yes.Yes it does.  
Angel:The only reason you aren't alone is cuz Niffty is your only friend.  
Niffty:No I'm not you,bitch!(flips Angel the double birds)  
Y/n:Hey!Do Not talk to my son like that!He's sensitive!  
Angel:YES I AM!  
Eddie:You guys are fucking assholes.  
Everyone looks at the kid Husk shot who is very much not in a coma.  
Y/n:Oh shut it brat,you're lucky to be witnessing this.  
Eddie:Its been a literal Hell pretending to be paralyzed so you fuckshits would kill me!But now I want that!I crave death!(Y/n:Mood much? Husk:Stop breaking the damn fourth wall! Y/n:Oh sorry back to the story)You!(points to Y/n)Are a selfish,greedy mermaid!And I'm a kid!We're supposed to like mermaids!Even the creepy ones.  
Husk:Hey kid that wasn't-  
Eddie:If I wanted to talk to a pussy I'd cut off your dick and ask you some shit!  
Niffty:That's my roommate you're talking to!  
Eddie:(laughs)That's your roommate?!I figured you were a slut but I didn't think you were such a poor one that you'd suck Grumpy Cat's dick!And you!(points to Angel)  
Angel:What?!What about me?  
Eddie:Nothing,I'm allergic to spider bites so I won't push my luck.Youre lucky this time,fag.  
Y/n:You know I'm really regretting defibulating you when you flatlined again.You're a real piece of shit,you little fucker.  
Everyone mumbles in agreement when Angel's phone goes off from a notification.  
Angel:Oh fuck.Guys I just got a text from our client.Guess he was the right target after all.  
Y/n:They wanted us to kill an actual child?  
Angel:That's what they're saying.  
Y/n:Well,I guess God does exist.(pulls out a revolver and shots the little bastard)  
To make sure he's dead this time Y/n, Husk and Niffty kick and stab the corpse while Angel takes pictures to send to their client.  
Y/n:You know when I started this company I really wanted to prove that we're capable of doing things any one else can.Like killing people.So from us at the S.I.R.E.N. group,we promise to settle your unfinished business or else your money...Is gone and you're never getting it back and you can write us a bad review but we'll play dumb cuz its Hell and nobody gives a damn.  
Y/n and Niffty dismember the brat with a bone saw and chainsaw and everyone puts his body parts into a sack.Y/n then extends her Eel tail to pull everyone in for a group hug.  
Y/n:You know even though this kid was a target,he was still a child.(wraps tail around everyone more)Its important that we handle this respectfully.  
Back in the human world Eddie's mom is on the new after Finally noticing her kid is gone.As she gives the contact information the sack of Eddie's parts are dropped into her arms.She and the reporter look up and see S.I.R.E.N. looking down from a portal.  
Y/n:(waves)You're welcome!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been thinking of doing a Q & A page for all the Alternate Y/ns I've made.What do you guys think?Yay or nay?


	40. Y/n Mange Au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I made another timeline for this Au in Dapper Dresser so looks like we've got 3 timelines for this Au.
> 
> Estranged Mange Sisters Au  
> No matter how kind Charlie is,she still is half demon and the daughter of Lucifer.At first she was happy to have a sister but as time went on and Y/n and Lucifer got along better than she did(despite the ocassional hiding of her guitars which resulted in drowning interrogation) and Y/N's music career allowed her to spend more time with Lilith.Y/n gathered respect from other demons as the first siren in almost a century and was liked by the denizens of Hell.Charlie grew jealous and the two drifted apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to reload cuz it kept cutting out parts of the dialouge

.

Y/n:(Burst into the hotel)Hello Sinners!And Charlie.  
Alastor:Hello Darling!What a pleasant surprise.You left this in me during our last encounter and Ive been meaning to return it.(summons a literal axe guitar)

Y/n:Marceline!That's where I left you!I thought Dad had taken her!I held him under for 12 hours before Mom intervened.Now I've gotta apologize...(takes Marceline from Alastor)Mama is so sorry she left you with the bad radio man Marcy!Ugh!You got blood all over her!I know I left Marcy blades first in your chest but you could have at least cleaned her!What are you even doing here?!We both know you dont believe in redemption. 

Charlie:(grabbing her bearings)Thats what I should be asking you Y/n?

Y/n:Well if Im listening to Dad,Im here to bring you back to reality Char.If Im listening to Mom,its to help you with your trainwreck of a project.But now that I know hes here,I just wanna float out of this dump  
Charlie:Well no one is stopping you.  
Y/n:Cant.Mom would have my ass if I didn't put some effort in your failing business.And you clearly need help.First day open to the public and you're already sunk deeper than the Titanic.

Angel:Whatcha doin there Doll  
Y/n:Tryin ta come up with a new song for tommorow's event.La da dad da~Im gonna bury you in the ground.La da da da da~I🎶m gonna bury you with my sound.🔊Im gonna drink the red from youre pretty pink face💉 Im gonn-  
Charlie:Y/n thats too distasteful

Y/n:Oh you dont like that?OR MAYBE YOU JUST DONT LIKE ME?!Sorry I dont treat like an Angel is that what you want me to do?😇Sorry I dont treat you like your perfect like your precious little mothling does.Sorry Im not made of sugar~Am I not sweet enough for you?🎶Is that why you always avoid me?I must be such an inconvenience to you well,Im just your problem!Im just your problem!It like im not even a person,am I?🎵Im just a problem...Well,I shouldnt have to justify what I do.And I~shouldnt have to prove anything to you!Im sorry that I exist I dont remember what put me on your black list but I shouldnt have to be the one who makes up with you!So,Why do I want to?!Why do I want to?!To...bury you in the ground-and drink the(blushes and glares at Charlie)UGH!STOP STARING AT ME!YOU THREW ME OFF!...Im outta here(floats up to room)


	41. Strawberry pimp au

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The return of Y/n trapped in the body of her Strawberry pimp counterpart.So these are quick oneshots based of the rest of the comic dub.
> 
> Also in this Au the Y/n here was in the same situation as Sirenix,but with Alastor instead of Valentino and he's not an abusive fuck.

Y/n is dressed up in a fancy f/c and blue dress.Alastor takes her hand and places a kiss on it.  
Alastor:You look lovely,my dear~  
Y/n:(blushing)

Y/n:So if you're in charge of the Studio,what happened to Valentino.  
Alastor:Darling,are you sure your feeling alright?Who is this Valentino you're speaking about?

Y/n:(thoughts:I know he'll say no to this...)Oh Alastor~Let me suck that big dick of yours💗  
Alastor:Get on your knees then.  
Y/n:(faints)

Alastor is on the air with his radio show.  
Alastor:Hello Sinners,this is your host Alastor tuning in.

Y/n:(sees Lucifer and Alastor together)I dont know if I should be scared or turned on....  
Lucifer:What's up with Y/n?

Alastor:(takes his shirt off)  
Y/n:(nose sprays blood)

Y/n,Angel and Vaggie are in a club after a show.They're drinking near the bar when a demon smacks Y/n on the ass.  
Y/n:What the fuck!Keep your hands to yourself!  
Creepy Perv:Oh?I thought sluts like you would enjoy that.  
Angel:Her body ain't for free so if ya gonna keep touchin' ya better pay up or shut up!  
Creepy Perv:Ha you ain't worth shit!You're just slaves getting underpaid.You might as well play with men for free.  
Y/n:You fucking...  
Alastor who has seen what was going on,kicks the demon in the face and holds a gun to his head.  
Alastor:If all you're going to do is harass my darlings then I suggest you leave.I take good care of them and I wont let them get in the hands of you FILTHY RATS.Now,I can assure you,if you pull a stunt like this again,I wont be as merciful...  
As the demon runs off,Alastor turns to Y/n.  
Alastor:Are you alright,Sea Shell?  
Y/n:Y-yeah Al thanks.

Alastor is hugging Y/n tightly,not letting go.  
Y/n:You break up with Luci again?  
Alastor:Yes.  
Y/n:There,there.(thoughts:His ears are so soft!)

Y/n:Okay guys,I had enough of this prank.(gets tied up in tentacles)Whoa!  
Alastor:Y/n,this isnt like you.You haven't acted like this since Angel first brought you here...Are you sure you're alright?  
Y/n:(thoughts)I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going....

Y/n:Critter!Where are you baby?!  
Alastor:He's right here.  
Alastor gestures to Critter who is using Alastor's fluffy coat as a blanket.  
Y/n:Cute...💖

Y/n:Okay it's nice here but how am I gonna get back to my body in my own dimension?  
As Y/n says this suddenly there is a green flash.Y/n feels a strange out of body experience.She feels like shes being pulled through a spinning tunnel and suddenly it stops as she falls to the ground.  
Alastor,Angel,Husk,Niffty,Vaggie and Charlie:Y/n!  
Y/n groans and looks up and sees the hotel gang.Alastor is wearing his normal clothes and Y/n knows shes back in her dimension.  
Baxter:I hate to ruin this heartfelt reunion but....We may have a problem...  
???:Where the fuck am I?!  
Y/n turns around and sees 4 other people with varying features.But despite this she can recognize features of her normal and demon form on them.She then realizes she wasn't the only Y/n brought here.  
Y/n:Oh shit....

To be continued.....


	42. Baxter you fucked up again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting for this!Like before I started this whole thing I've had this idea in my head.Of course back then it only included Swap,Mange and Sirenix Y/n.

The Classic Hotel Crew are staring at the 4 extra Y/ns in the room.

Y/n(ShowSwitch):Soooooo,is anyone going to answer the "Where the fuck am I" question?Cuz wherever the Hell this place is it's real fucking weird.  
Crymini:Good God Fishface you fucked up again!  
Baxter:The Alternate dimension-inator was locked on the coordinates of 5 different Aus that had portals opened to it.I didnt know when I had it retrieve Y/n that it would bring the other ones too!

Charlie:Okay,okay!Enough!You two fighting is what got us into this mess in the first place.(turns to the other Y/ns)Sorry about this whole thing.We'll get you all back to your dimensions right away.Right Baxter?  
Baxter:Well about that...With how much I've used the Alternate dimension-inator to track all the possible Aus our Y/n could have went to and pulling her,and these 4,here to our dimension I may have used almost all of its power source.Its a rare material that if not handled carefully will take out at least 84% of the Pride Circle.It'll take a few weeks for my order to pend let alone for safe delivery.  
Y/n(Swap):So what you're saying is that we all will be stuck here for a while.  
Y/n(Sirenix)Well that's just fucking great!

Charlie:It wont be so bad.We'll get you back as soon as we can.In the meantime,welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!Im Charlie Mange and this my girlfriend Vaggie.  
Y/n(ShowSwitch):Did I mention this dimension is fucking weird?Cuz it is.  
Angel:Names Angel Dust.Nice boots ya got there toots.  
Y/n(Sirenix)Thanks,ya helped me pick them out back in my dimension.  
Alastor:Greetings my dears I am-  
Y/ns(Mange,ShowSwitch and Sirenix):Alastor  
Sirenix:Yeah,we know who ya are Radio demon.  
Y/n Mange:Creepy stalker...  
ShowSwitch Y/n:Kinky bastard...  
Alastor:I beg your pardon?

Niffty:Hi I'm Niffty!Nice to meet you!Even though you're all Y/n but you're also not Y/n if you know what I mean.  
Husk:(stops drinking his cheap booze for a moment)Husk.(Goes back to drinking)  
ShowSwitch Y/n:Nice to know Husky and Nift are the same in this world gone mad.  
Baxter: I am Baxter,Scientific Extraordinaire  
Crymini:And the fuck up who brought you here  
Baxter:Crymini!  
Y/n:And I'm Y/n,obviously.

Y/n Mange:I'm Y/n.Y/n Mange.  
Sirenix:Wait like the Mange family?  
Y/n:Yes.Im the adopted daughter of Lucifer and Lilith Mange and second princess of Hell.I'm also a singer and guitarist.  
Swap Y/n:Pleasure to meet you.I am Y/n.Overlord of Music and Hell proclaimed Siren Queen.  
Angel:Overlord?How the hell did ya manage that?-  
Swap Y/n:No,no.A lady never kisses and tells.  
Sirenix:Ugh,another prude.Names Y/n,but ya can call me by my stage name Sirenix.Im a porn actress.  
Alastor:What?No there has to be some mistake.My dear sharkling would never do such...promiscuous work.  
Sirenix:Yeah well not all of us can be a big,powerful demon right of the bat!Or have the Princess sanctioned hotel to live in when we fall!

ShowSwitch:So Charlotte runs that silly redemption hotel in this dimension?Anyway,I am Y/n.Im a mercenary for hire and the founder of S.I.R.E.N.  
Sirenix:A siren demon with a company called S.I.R.E.N.Real orginally.  
Swap Y/n:I think it's quite amusing!  
Classic Y/n:Wait,what's a siren demon?

To be continued....


	43. More comments page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As much fun as the Y/n verse is let's dail it back to your regularly scheduled Classic Y/n oneshots.

When Y/n was staying at Al's cabin in the bayou  
Alastor and Y/n cuddling,being cute and turn on the Tv.Charlie is there standing in front of the camera disheveled and hilding a missing poster of Y/n.In the background Hell is dilapidated and in ruins like someone nuked it.

Charlie:Hello have you seen this small human looking demon?!If so please call 555-1028(bonus points to whoever knows what the last 4 numbers is a reference to😄)  
Lucifer:(pushes Charlie away from the camera)You shits better find my child unless you want me to destroy another 3 damn circles!And next time Lilith said she join me which means there wont fucking be a Hell for all you Damned Sinners to live in!  
Y/n:....We should go back to the hotel.Now

Charlie:So what have you done during your summer Y/n?  
Y/n: Well I time traveled, joined a volunteer organisation that was kinda connected to a cult, then I became manager of a theater troupe, lost my memories, became a magician, became a exorcist and hmm I think that was it. Kinda the usual really.  
Husk: I don't even know where to start with this one.  
Alastor:I love this woman so much

Y/n:What are friends with benefits?  
Angel:Theyre a...(looks over at Alastor,Charlie,Vaggie,Lucifer and Lilith who are giving him death stares)a very special kind of friend  
Y/n:Oh like how we are

Charlie:I love Y/n like a sister and will fight anyone who hates her  
Y/n:I hate myself  
Charlie:(tears up)Come on,lets go take this outside you beautiful...bitch!

Angel:I hate myself  
Y/n:Thats okay I have enough love for both of us  
Angel:(cries)  
Y/n:(hugs Angel)There,there

Y/n is sleeping and Fat Nuggets comes onto the bed.  
Fat Nuggets:(Licks Y/n's hair)  
The next morning Y/n's hair is sticking up

Lucifer is at the hotel to see how Charlie's pet project is going.Charlie and Vaggie are showing him around the hotel.  
Lucifer: So, how is Y/n doing?  
Charlie:Y/n is fine. Very calm and quiet, you'd be surprised by how great her process is going.

Charlie,Vaggie and Lucifer walking in on Y/n with a sharpie in hand drawing dicks on Alastor's face.  
Y/n:......  
Vaggie:....  
Charlie:....  
Lucifer:......  
Y/n:Soooooooooooooooooooo.... (Pulls out another sharpie) I have another one, wanna join?  
Vaggie: WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK Y/N ?!  
Lucifer: Sure!

Y/n:(downs drink number 17)Hey I just had a thought...Is sand called sand cuz its between sea AND land?Hahahhaaa  
Husk:Kid,are ya drunk  
Y/n:No silly Husky!I swear to drunk Im not God  
Husk:Definetly drunk

Y/n:Guess what? Lucifer:You and Alastor are getting married  
Y/n:Yeah,howd you know?  
Lucifer:(pulls out an overflowing binder)Ive planned the whole thing

Angel:Hold the fuck up!....Im the fuck up.Please hold me  
Y/n:(hugs Angel)I've gotcha,its okay. 

Alastor:Your handwriting is awful  
Y/n:Can you not while Im signing our marriage papers  
Alastor:I have to.Such an important document cant have chicken scratch all over it.I am framing it over our bed after all.

Y/n:Didnt you die?  
Angel:That was bout an hour ago,toots.Things change  
Y/n:You were shot 27 times in the chest!  
Angel:Eh,it wasn't that bad.The fluff absorbed like 80% of that anyway.  
Y/n:The hospital said you were dead on arrival!  
Angel:That's cuz ya sent me to that quack hospital that's not so secretly part of a black market for organs and body parts!

Alastor and Y/n's kid:(tugging on her shirt to get her attention)Mama what kind of kids do they use in Sour Patch Kids?  
Y/n:(laughs)They dont use kids in those sweetie  
Y/n ×Alastor child:So thats why the ones Ive tried to make taste funny  
Y/n:...Tell me you didnt  
Alastor:That's my little cannibal!

Okay this one isnt mine but rather based on Randomname67's own Au she mentioned in the comments.I made this lil scene based off a Hat in time Meme animation I found with Snatcher and Vanessa and thought it fit.  
PREVIEW  
0:53  
I need an exorcism ||MeMe {A Hat In Time}  
YouTube · luna moon 

Alastor is watching Y/n outside her house,peaceful but lovesick expression on his face.

Alastor:I, had found you🎵I, had left you🎶I, forgave you🎶I, forgot you🎵

Y/n hears Alastor singing and flinches.She doesnt know how to get rid of the demon who keeps insisting that she is his soulmate.But she knows that she is absolutely terrified of the things he will do to make her his.  
Y/n:You, you possessed me  
You, controlled me  
Said, you loved me❣  
Said, you'd kill me🗡

A tear escapes as Y/n sings.She thinks back to how her life started to unravel since Alastor entered it.

Y/n:He is speaking🎶  
Speaking for me🎵  
I'm a worthless😔  
Human being  
Y/n walks up to a picture of her and Kyle(By the fact that Y/n is still alive,she never found Kyle when he was disposing the body.Or the event just hasn't happened yet.IDK)She thinks to how she noticed Alastor's shadow glaring at him whenever they'd hang out and worries about the safety of her brother in all but blood.  
Y/n:He's still speaking🎵  
Speaking for me🎶  
Keep your voice down🤫  
Or he'll hurt you🗡

Alastor teleports into the house and listens for his darling.He follows the sweet honey bubbles of her angelic voice,calling out for him. Alastor:Exorcists can't stop me now😈 I swear to you🎵  
That you'll be fine🎶  
Y/n jumps at the louder singing ,now coming from somewhere in the house.She claps her hands together and closes her eyes as if praying. Y/n:Please let me die💀  
To be found🎶  
He speaks for me  
Nerves that I grind🎵

Alastor finally finds his beloved soulmate and approaches her.He then stops midway,noticing her near the picture of her and that boy...He grows jealous at the thought of Kyle and any man(who in reality were just being decent people) who dared get close to his precious darling.He then grins sinisterly at the thought of giving Kyle a long and painful demise.He goes and hugs Y/n from behind,holding her tightly to stop her from struggling.  
Alastor:It happened once🎶  
It happened twice🎵  
It won't happen again🎶  
Now I won't play nice😈 

Y/n's eyes snap open when Alastor wraps his arms around her.The blood runs from her face and she finds she cant even try to escape,to frozen in fear to move.

Y/n:Speaking louder not in my voice🗣  
Blocked by the voice of a demon inside🎶  
I act coy and I play nice🌹  
Only to die on the inside🥀

Alastor:Exorcists can't save you now😈  
I swear to you  
That I'll make you mine🎵

Alastor grins psychotically at the feeling of his soulmates rapidly beating heart.Just for him~Only for him...He will make those who dared get in the way of him and his darling pay but for now, he thinks it's time he brings her home.

Alastor:I need an exorcism!  
I need an exorcism🎶  
I need an exorcism🎵  
I need an exorcism!  
I need an exorcism🎶  
I need an exorcism!  
I need an exorcism🎵  
I need an exorcism~  
Y/n finally breaks out of Alastor's grip as he slowly loses himself in his lovesickness.Static and shadows surround them,Y/n grabs the cross on the table and holds it to her chest.At this point the tears wont stop running down her face as the shadows consume them both and everything fades to black.


	44. A Hat in Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be like the Gem Au where it's not really an organized Au like the others.Hell,this only covers the intro of Chapter 3 with the Subcon Forrest.I just felt in the mood for it after doing the skit of Randomname67's Au with that song from the Hat in Time animation.If people like this idea I might write more,Idk.
> 
> So to put the Hazbins to the Hat in Time Characters  
> Charlie is Hat Kid  
> Y/n is Snatcher  
> Niffty are all the Subconites

Charlie looked around at the dark forest she teleported to.The sky was purple with a heavy fog,tall trees she couldn't see the top of,gaint mushrooms and toadstools that glowed,and keep oup signs.It was a bit off putting,but there was lots of odd places on this strange planet.And her spaceship had located several of her lost time pieces here,so she really had no choice.As she walked into the forest she saw a tree far larger than the others.It was hollow at the base and someone had clearly made her home there.A mailbox was nailed right outside and in the hollowed out part was light up brightly and reminded Charlie of a Jack-O'lantern.No one was home but inside was a f/c armchair,a purple rug with little whispy ghosts and fanged smiley faces,a small table with an ornate f/c tablecloth,and a grandfather clock.Charlie quickly ran through the hollow and exited from the hole on the other side.Looking at it,she noticed the holes on both sides of the tree were like the faces of a Jack-o-lantern,fanged grin and all.The bright golden and orange glow only affirming this.She found a path on the other side and began to follow it.

???:You're here already?That's a shame.  
Charlie jumped back at the sudden voice.She turned around to see the owner of the voice.It was a small girl,a child like her.She was different than Vaggie in Mafia Town though.She was wearing a purple cloak and dress, and her single large eye glowed yellow.The girl suddenly ran passed Charlie and farther into the forest.

Charlie:Hey!  
Charlie ran after the girl to ask if she had seen any time pieces.When she caught up the girl was standing in the middle of the path before booking it again.  
Charlie:Wait!  
Charlie tried to follow the cyclops again but tripped on a wire and activated a net trap.She was stuck in the net but strange enough the rope wasn't attached to any tree and was suspended in the air.Charlie took out her umbrella and tried to beat her way out and poke a hole but nothing worked.A shaking sounded through the forest as if some terrible monster was stomping towards her.Charlie beat her umbrella even faster as the shaking got worst but the net would not give.Suddenly the net vanished and Charlie dropped a few feet to the floor.She noticed she wasn't in the forest anymore but rather a strange pocket reality.Purple shadows surrounded the ground and circled her preventing her escape.From the shadows a large ghost like lady appeared.She absolutely towered over Charlie.Her skin was greyed like a corpse,her hands were long claws,her hair dark H/c and purple,she wore a black and purple tattered princess dress ,and her face had a fanged grin and her eyes glowed a yellowish orange.Charlie realized the face carved into the tree was hers.The ghostly figure loomed over Charlie and bellowed.

Y/n:AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!FOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL!! You blew it! You totally screwed yourself! Nobody enters my home and leaves in one piece! Tell you what though! Hang on a minute! (Taps a claw on her check as if contemplating)You get to live! That's right! Aren't you lucky? Normally I'd eat your soul and toss your body(makes gesture of eating then throwing something away), but you're a lucky one! You won the lottery,(raises her arm up and down which makes a slot machine sound)because I just happen to be missing a brain dead servant. That's right, the old one got himself killed, his head popped off and now I need a new towel boy! (Snaps and a piece of paper and an Ink well and quill appear in front of Charlie)So tell you what, I've got a piece of paper here. Don't worry about all the details!(waves hand fo shrug off the importance and points to the dotted line) just need you to sign right here at the bottom.

Charlie reads the paper in front of her,listing the obligations and terms of agreement.  
Contract  
Clean out the Subcon Well  
[ ]Find Subcon Village  
[ ]Murder the spirits  
[ ]Clean the Subcon Well  
The following parts of the forest will be available: Subcon Village,Swamp,Well  
I hereby totally agree to do this Snatcher gal's dirty work. And also absolve her of all injuries I will most likely sustain from this work. Also, I'll give up my soul. no takey backsies.  
I'll be keeping the following hostage:  
YOUR SOUL  
...But keep anything you find on the way!

Signed_______________________________________________

Charlie:(shakes her head)No!  
Y/n:C'mon now,dont make this difficult.You really dont have a say in this.Sign the paper.  
Charlie:I wont sign!  
Y/n:(snarls)I dont think I made this clear enough;YOUR OPINION DOESN'T MATTER TO ME!Put yourname on the contract or I'll make your dead,hollow,body(pokes Charlie roughly to empathize her words)sign it for you!  
Charlie:(regains her balance from Y/n's jab and stands her ground)I wont sign!  
Y/n:(increasingly angry and blue flames erupt from the ground)LAST CHANCE!Sign the paper!My patience and generosity only extends so far.I'm giving you an opportunity to redeem a bad situation and here you are;throwing any chance of surviving this right out the window!

Charlie shakes slightly,trying to avoid the flames.She understands that if she wants to leave with her life she must play by this Snatcher's rules.  
Charlie:Lemme reconsider....(grabs the quill and signs the contract)  
Y/n:AHHHHHHAHAHHAHAHAAHAA!!That seals the deal! We're in business! Let me just grab this real quick...

Lightning sparks from Charlie and she feels a pain in her chest.A red and yellow whisp that looks similarly to her floats out and towards Y/n who grabs it.Charlie feels exceedingly empty inside.

Y/n:Whoops! I guess this soul belongs to me now! Don't worry though, if you finish your chores quickly, you'll have your soul back real soon! And don't you dare forget our little contract! I've put it in your inventory so that it'll never leave your person.

Y/n teleports away and the shadow realm fades back into the forest.Charlie is left alone afraid and empty with the cold feeling of dread where her soul should be.


	45. Comment page

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey,here are more comments from Dapper Dresser.You might be seeing the rest I can find for awhile due to,things....Its written in the notes below.But if you still want newer content than leave questions or requests for skits in the comments and I'll do them on the Y/n Q&A page I mentioned the other day.If I get enough of them I just might write them kinda like a hunicast.

Reader: You are clearly not listening so I can say whatever I want.  
Husk: (drinks cheap booze)Mm-hmm tell me about it.  
Reader: I murdered Angel last night.  
Husk:Feel you.  
Reader: Now that I have the taste of blood, I can't stop murdering.  
Husk: Been there.

Kidnapper: We have them.  
Charlie: Have who?  
Kidnapper: Y/n and Angel  
Charlie: Oh.  
Kidnapper: Oh?  
Charlie: You don't have them, they have you.Good luck.

Husk: Ya wanna drink?  
Reader: What are my options?  
Husk: Yes or no

The hazbin crew are at Lu Lu Land the original one  
Alastor: well it looks like it’s just you and me. What do you want to ride first?  
Reader: (laughs)  
Alastor: what?  
Reader: you  
Alastor: (smirks)Darling please, we’re in public.

Reader: (stubs toe)Ow fuck!  
Charlie:Language  
Reader: sorry, I meant to say Sugar Honey Iced Tea  
Charlie: that’s better...Wait

Vaggie:We cant let Alastor go running off to do a broadcast!What would people think if the hotel's sponsor keeps committing genocide?!  
Charlie:Vaggie's right we have to distract him somehow  
Reader:Leave it to me  
Later  
Charlie:Y/N!Alastor's trying to leave  
Y/n: On it!takes off coat to reveal a sparkly dress and then saunters over to the piano where Angel magically appears) C-Minor, put it in C-Minor  
Angel: (begins playing piano)  
Alastor: (turns around intrigued)  
Reader: where have all the good men gone and where all the gods? Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds?  
Alastor: (begins to walk toward the piano as though he’s been hypnotised)  
Charlie: how did she know that’d even work?!  
Vaggie:Im more surprised Angel can play piano  
Y/n: HIT IT!(stands on piano)I NEED A HERO, I’M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO ‘TIL THE END OF THE NIGHT

Alastor: Y/N if I was the last person in Hell would you court me?  
Reader:Yes,well you’re the most annoying person in Hell now and I’d still date you  
Alastor:That is the sweetest thing youve ever said to me

Angel: Can I have a sip of your can?  
Reader: Sure (laughs and hands him an empty can)  
Angel: (gasps then laughs) This bitch empty..  
YEET  
(blindly throws it across the room, hitting Vaggie on the back of the head)  
Angel: Oh shit! (Laughs and gets up to run away)  
Vaggie: I will "yeet" YOU in to the next week IDIOT! (Chasing him)

Angel: Why are only roosters allowed to start the day by screaming?  
Alastor: Because we sleep in the same building and I will murder you

Reader:I have decided I am in fact, a snack.People are just not hungry....  
Alastor:I'm starving.

Reader:I should have Alastor kill you for that.  
Alastor: (comes out of nowhere)Who do I have to kill?  
Reader: No no no. I was just joking-  
Alastor: Really, who's bothering you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So......my mom's bloodwork results from her appointment earlier this week came in.Its a very high chance that she has cervical cancer. Most likely developed from her untreated cysts that have been in her uterus for over a year due to the doctors back in Ohio not wanting to do surgery last year with Co-Vid.I....I'm not sure how much of these I'll be doing.If it's not something I've already planned or can work around with small changes like pilots,I dont know how I'm gonna create ideas right now.Im just kinda....mentally shutdown from trying to process.If you guys leave me requests it'll give me something to work with and keep me writing.Thanks for understanding


	46. A Hat in Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for posting that sloped together cut and paste comment page that wasn't even edited so heres more AHIT x hazbin hotel

Charlie shakenly started walking down the path in subcon forest.She couldn't even really find herself to be terrified like she should be.Perhaps her emotions were stunted without her soul?As she walked Charlie noticed barriers of colorful fire lined the path.They were blocking the parts of the forest behind them and rose higher when she got close to them.Surprisingly the flames didnt burn her.Seeing as she couldn't go any other way,Charlie continued down the path untill she got near a strange contraption made of bones and an eye that was staring at an abnormally large purple cherry infront of a broken bridge covered in ice and snow that branched away from the path.Inside the bone cage was a green and black ball of yarn.Charlie hadn't seen this kind yet so it must be for a new hat.She hit it a few times with her umbrella but nothing happened.

???:Sure has its eye on something,huh?  
Charlie looked up at the high cut stump and saw the same girl who led her to the trap.  
Charlie:Hey its you!  
???:Me?  
Charlie:Yes,you!Cuz of you I got trapped and had my soul taken!What do you have to say for yourself?!  
???:Oh you must be talking about one of the others,newbie!There's tons of us but we all look the same.We don't remember our names but Boss says we're niffty little things so I guess you can call us that.  
Charlie:Okay,"Niffty",how do I get the yarn in this thing?  
Niffty:Well you see that cherry?(Charlie nods)Well you can probably already tell that it isnt normal.Cherries around here tend to pop when they interact with the Dwellers wandering the forest.

Charlie picked up the cherry that was almost the size of her.She walked towards a whispy creature that wore a fox shaped mask.Charlie brought the cherry to it to see if they could help her when it leapt into the fruit.The cherry started glowing red and a strange ticking sound started to come from it.Charlie's eyes widened as she realized the cherry was now a bomb!She threw it away and a few seconds later it exploded.It had hit the bone cage which had fell apart once it went off.The yarn however was still intact,not even a singe.

Niffty:Oh you found a ball of Dweller's yarn!  
Charlie:Dweller's yarn?  
Niffty:Uh huh.Its the yarn that make up the mask they wear.I remember the other children including myself wearing them before.....(looks at the frozen over bridge on the side and shutters)HE ruined our once peaceful village.They used to be ordinary masks that looked like the fire spirits that roamed the forest,even back then.But now because if the dark magic fallen over Subcon,they allow you to see certain objects and sometimes make others disappear.  
Charlie:Hhmmm....

Charlie puts the yarn in her backpack before continuing down the road.As she goes she sees a large amount of graves and tombstones and wonders why so many are here?Could they be victims of the Snatcher lady or of the incident that Niffty had been so scared of.  
Niffty:Theres money to be had in graverobbing,you know.  
Charlie jumped at the sudden voice but calmed down to see it was just another Niffty.She looked at the graves contemplating.She was low on money pons and it's not like these people were using them.She took out her brewing hat and shook up the explosive brew before throwing it.Several graves were caught in the blast and dozens of money pons burst from them.Charlie collected them and blew up a few more graves.  
Charlie:Ka -bam!Boom!Ka-blamo!  
As Charlie descrated the the resting places and collected the pons buried inside she noticed a valley.Lots of the glowing toadstools were there along with big blocks of frozen ice.There were houses made in a variety of different sizes tree trunks.A few Niffty's ran around and Dwellers floated and hovered in the air.Charlie could see a firepit glowing in the center.Suddenly the contract floated out of her backpack and infront of her.

Contract  
Clean out the Subcon Well  
[✔ ]Find Subcon Village  
[ ]Murder the spirits  
[ ]Clean the Subcon Well  
The following parts of the forest will be available: Subcon Village,Swamp,Well  
I hereby totally agree to do this Snatcher gal's dirty work. And also absolve her of all injuries I will most likely sustain from this work. Also, I'll give up my soul. no takey backsies.  
I'll be keeping the following hostage:  
YOUR SOUL  
...But keep anything you find on the way!

Seeing the checkmark on the first objective meant this valley must be Subcon Village.She put the contract back into her bag and walked around.She noticed more yarn balls trapped in the ice and used cherry bombs to free them.When she was finished she had a lot more Dweller's yarn.Almost enough to make a copy of the ones they wore.Charlie continued to explore the village,Y/n's giant claws rose and slammed on the ground as she pulled herself up.

Y/n:Whhhyyyyy Helllooooooo there!You didnt forget about me,did ya?Dont tell me you forgot about me!What's up?You working on any contractual obligations lately?You better be;remember our little deal?Check it out!( points to the firepit in the middle of the village were foxes are dancing.)Those incredibly annoying fire spirits are sitting right there,in the middle of my village.Their little dance is creating these incredibly annoying barriers that stop me from getting from parts of my forest.(gestures to the flames that are blocking certain paths)Its almost like they're trying to put an end to me....how adorable.Dispose of them!I dont care how you do it as long as they suffer for entering my domain!HEHHEHEHHEE!Anyways back to work trooper!This isnt a vacation, and I'm getting impatient!(sinks back down into the shadows and disappears)  
Charlie shakes her head and walks towards the spirits and talks to one of them.

Fox Spirit:We want to die!Yay!  
Charlie:Okay then  
Fox spirit:We want to burn bright and then burn out!Become a cloud of smoke!Our bonfire needs more fuel!Only the finest paintings will do!Can you help us?

Charlie goes around the forest grabbing the different paintings,one of the badge seller,another of one of the imps from Blitzo's studio and the last one being a blank painting.At least it was before Chalie accidentally knocked into a lost Mafia Egg boy who was then sucked into it.Oops...  
Charlie:(throws paintings into the fire)Burn!Burn!Become one with the fire!  
Fox spirits:Thank Yoouuuuuu~

The fire spirits become apart of their bonfire which rises high before extinguishing itself out.Some of the fire barriers disappear as well.The contract floats infront of Charlie again.

Contract  
Clean out the Subcon Well  
[✔ ]Find Subcon Village  
[ ✔]Murder the spirits  
[ ]Clean the Subcon Well  
The following parts of the forest will be available: Subcon Village,Swamp,Well  
I hereby totally agree to do this Snatcher gal's dirty work. And also absolve her of all injuries I will most likely sustain from this work. Also, I'll give up my soul. no takey backsies.  
I'll be keeping the following hostage:  
YOUR SOUL  
...But keep anything you find on the way!

Everything suddenly turns purple and Charlie finds herself back in the shadow realm with Y/n.  
Y/n:WELL DONE!Please tell me they suffered.You murdered them,right?I bet you strangled them.(makes a fist with her hands as if wringing someone's neck)Good girl!Ha ha ha ha!(pats Charlie's head slightly squishing the brewing hat)Dont think I'm done with you yet!There are more of these pests running around my forest and I need you to get rid of every last one.(summons the contract from Charlie's bag and reading glasses)Next on your to-do list...Clean up the Subcon well.(throws the glasses to the side and send the contract back to Charlie's bag)That's right,you're a plumber now!Congratulations on your promotion!I also have some...other...work for you that I cannot do myself.And hey,as long as I need you,you get to stay alive.What a deal huh?(snaps fingers and two contracts appear)Enough talk!You look like you can handle multiple things on your plate at one!Let's get you an additional contract!Pick one, but only one!Isn't it thrilling to sign your life away?!

Charlie walks up one of the contracts and reads it.

Contract  
Deliver Subcon Mail  
Obligation:Deliver this really old mail  
[ ]Deliver mail to 10 of my minions

The following parts of the forest will be available: Subcon Village and surrounding paths

I hereby totally agree to do this Snatcher gal's dirty work. And also absolve her of all injuries I will most likely sustain from this work. Also, I'll give up my soul. no takey backsies.  
I'll be keeping the following hostage:  
YOUR SOUL  
...But keep anything you find on the way!

She then reads the other contract.

Contract  
Get me something from the manor  
Obligation:"I have an old friend living all by himself in a dusty old manor.You should pay him a visit"  
Check out the Snatcher's old home  
[ ]Enter the Manor  
[ ]Find out what's in the attic

The following parts of the forest will be available: Alastor's Manor

I hereby totally agree to do this Snatcher gal's dirty work. And also absolve her of all injuries I will most likely sustain from this work. Also, I'll give up my soul. no takey backsies.  
I'll be keeping the following hostage:  
YOUR SOUL  
...But keep anything you find on the way

Charlie thinks over the obligations of the contracts.Delivering mail could be fun but navigating through the forest trying to find the Nifftys the mail is for could take forever.On the other hand Charlie was nervous about this Alastor guy.If he was a "friend" of Snatcher's then he must be bad news.Especially if she was pawning this off on Charlie rather than seeing him herself.But...Exploring an old manor for treasure did sound like an adventure.Making up her mind,Charlie signed the second contract.

Y/n:Good choice!Lets hope you're up to the task!You're looking for time pieces,right?I found one of them while haunting some poor soul!You can keep it,but is the only time I'll reward you for only completing part of a contract.Because guess what?I'm not legally obligated to!HA HA HA HA!

Y/n teleports away and the world returns to normal,or at least back to the forest.Charlie grabs the time piece Y/n left and heads back to her ship to return it to the vault.


	47. Meet the Au Hat in Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this still isnt an official Au but I'm probably gonna do a few more of these so,might as well do the proper initiation

Meet the Au Hat in Hell

Okay the layout of this is gonna be a bit different.Since this is more crossover than Au

Charlie as Hat Kid:Hat kid is a cute as peck,plucky little girl which I think fit Charlie best.They are both cheerful,willing to help others even those who haven't been the nicest to them,and have a bit of a mischievous streak.Not to mention they're both protagonists.

Vaggie as Mustache girl:Mustache girl is the fiesty self proclaimed protector of her town and enemy of the Mafia.She hates them with a passion which is understandable as they took over her home town.She can be a bit violent with her vigilante justice though,wanting to strangle the mafia as they beg for mercy before deciding that strangulation is too kind and that she and Hat Kid should smash them up and put their remains in jars.Which she actually does to the Mafia Boss after Hat kid defeats him.I think that fits well with Vaggie's point spear first ask questions later kind of personality.Theyre both aggressive and defensive when it comes to what they believe in but they do take it too far sometimes in their anger and can be in the wrong.

Egg Bois as Mafia goons:Well I cant say much but that this fits really well.The Mafia goons and egg bois are both lackeys of a Boss and not particularly bright.They all dress,look and sound the same except for a few exceptions so you can barely tell them apart.And also are very hilarious and get into all sorts of shenanigans.Hell,the Mafia is the reason we have a game to play in Hat in Time.A mafia goon somehow gets into space(with no protective gear mind you)and demands that Hat kid pays a toll for passing Mafia town.She refuses and the Mafia goon crashes through her window where space decides it wants to follow the rules of the universe and sucks him,Hat kid and her time pieces(which are fuel for her ship) down onto the planet below.

Baxter as Mafia Scientist:Theres one mafia member with glasses who is kind of a conspiracy theorist.He freaks out at Hat Kid's spaceship and when she is covered in mud,thinks she some horrible monster after him when in reality she just wants her time piece that he has.

Arackniss as the Mafia Bartender:There is this one Mafia member who runs the bar at Mafia HQ.He doesnt attack Hat Kid and just gives her some advice when she sits at the bar stool.Not to mention I ship Arackniss and Pentious and Hat kid has two dolls one of the madia boss and another of Mafia Bartender and smashes them together as if kissing.

Sir Pentious as Mafia Boss:At first I wanted to make this Angel cuz of his Mafia family,then I considered Lucifer because of the over the top but smug personality he and the Mafia boss seem to share and because I made the Empress of the Nyakuza Lilith.But after deciding to make the Mafia goons Egg Bois I knew that I had to make Pentious the Mafia Boss.It works well too.Two ego centric "leaders" who think they are the most powerful men in existence only to get smacked down in a fight.

Cherri Bomb as Cooking Cat:Its a bit of a stretch,but here me out.While Cooking Cat isnt a fighter she isnt exactly a fan of the mafia.At the Casino that serves as the Mafia Base,Cooking Cat replaces all the food they cook with her own.She does so because the Mafia's food is terrible and that someone would probably die if they ate the Mafia's cooking.I think that kind of diss fits Cherri a little.Besides I wanna fit as many characters as I can.

Blitzo as Conductor:The conductor is a director and one of the owners of Dead Bird Studios.Hes loud,reckless,rude and swears at least once everytime he talks.You could make a drinking game out of everytime he says Peck or Peck Neck(from what I can tell is the bird equivalent of Fuck and Motherfucker)but you'll have one helluva hangover.His movie are usually western based ,which I think fits Blitzo's love of horses ,and they all take place on his train.Hence the name conductor.His movies are also quite Action packed,with one of the movies Hat Kid stars in being her running between explosives,acid pools and canons to get to the front of the train to deactivate its self destruct.Which obviously goes well with Blitzo's over the top ,destructive and violent tendencies.Conductor is also rather smug,mainly due to the fact he has won first the bird movie awards except for his 42nd one which DJ Grooves won.They have a heated rivalry that started wayback when they first rented the studio.While Grooves tries to keep it Civil,Conductor has no problem expressing that he wants nothing to do with him.Which fits Blitzo's feelings towards Stolas(at least for now)

Millie and Moxxie as Express Owls:The express owls are the "actors" in the conductor's movie but in reality they are passengers to his train who are roped into working for him if they ever want to get off.Similairly to how I did with Niffty,they all play multiple characters that all look and sound alike.

Stolas as DJ Grooves:At first I thought about making Stolas the conductor since they're both Owls(Maybe in the Conductor's case,IDK)but personality wise he fits DJ Grooves better.Grooves is a former Dj(shocker),Director and the other owner of Dead Bird Studios.His movies are flashy and showy like the old Hollywood movies that focused on the glamour of the stars and movie magic rather than any real plot.Not to mention this bird shoots his movies on the Moon,which obviously fits with Stolas' cosmic theme of space.He also likes to keep his movies clean,saying that the old fashioned conductor will get in trouble one day for his constant swearing.And advices Hat Kid to avoid saying P-E-C-K on camera.If she does say it he tries to play it off as being sassy then warning her to get off set before the adults watching realize what just happened.

Octavia as Moon Penguins:I couldn't really think of who to use here so when I decided to make Stolas DJ Grooves that Octavia would be okay here.The Moon Penguins are also DJ Grooves actors,but also double as his bodyguards/fan club.Just like Nifty,Mox and Mill,and the Egg Bois Octavia will play all the Moon Penguins.

Y/n as Snatcher:And finally we get to Y/n.She doesn't exactly fit Snatcher's persona except maybe Swap.But Snatcher does have a reason to act like he does.It doesnt justify anything but his backstory via Time rift(a time piece that broke when it hits someone which shows memories)reveals alot.He was once a prince who was engaged to a princess named Vanessa.He loved Vanessa very much,to the point where he didnt realise the red flags that were Vanessa's controlling and obsessive behavior.When Vanessa saw him buying flowers from the florist her possessive mind misinterpreted it as him cheating on her.After he returned t the Manor she yelled at him and refused to let to explain,ordering her guards to lock him in the wine cellar.Snatcher was left there to basically rot and froze to death. In which is soul escaped his body and fled the Manor and his corpse most likely became reanimated by the dark magic and became the scrapped character Moonjumper.(but that's just fan theory at this point to make Moonjumper who was orginally going to be the prince,co exist with Snatcher)The contracts are a twisted part of his time studying law and his rule over Subcon forest is him looking after the few remaining subjects who suffered from Vanessa's wrath.It could also be why he doesn't make to kindly to intruders as well.

Niffty as Subconites/Snatcher's minions:The subconites are children who died when Vanessa froze over the kingdom of Subcon.They became Dwellers and then signed contracts with Snatcher for new bodies and the ability to talk,walk and interact with the world.The follow Snatcher's every command either it be due to the contracts or the fact that he was once their prince.They are also all voiced by Kellen Goff.We love you Kellen!

Alastor as Queen Vanessa:Vanessa was a princess who was madly in love with a prince.So much that she took control of several aspects of his life.She banned bacon from the house because she thought her prince loved it more than here,forcefully cut,curled and dyed his hair in an attempt to match hers,and kept him away from any woman that wasn't her.When he left for his studies her obsession became worst.Her diary goes into her deeper descent of madness of how she hopes her prince wont forget her,how shes jealous of the woman who tutors him as she gets to spend time with him when Vanessa only gets letters,about her mother's death means shes a Queen now and her main priority is that shes not a princess for her prince anymore,how she wants to chain her prince and keep him locked up always and her plans to keep him from leaving when he returns to Subcon for holiday break.When Vanessa goes to see her prince when he returns she sees him with the flower girl and assumes the worst.She returns to the manor,breaking things and tearing portraits with him in them.It only gets worst when he actually shows up.She starts getting corrupted by dark magic and freezes over all of Subcon,killing all her subjects.The only one left alive is her Prince in the cellar who eventually freezes to death from her magic,flees and becomes the Snatcher.If you have Hat Kid uses the Dweller's mask in the Manor Cellar,you can see the outline of Snatcher's prince coat where his arms were chained to the wall.Its real disturbing stuff.Its also a neat little twist of how sour Alastor and Y/n's relationship could have ended up.

Husk as the Captain of the S.S.Literaly Cant Sink:The captain is an old Walrus who is very pessimistic.Enough said.

Angel as Co captain and Fat Nuggets as the Seal Crew:Okay so there is no Co captain in AHIT but I wanted Angel here god damn it.The seal crew on the other hand are clumsy but well meaning OwO seals make up the staff of the S.S.Literally Cant Sink.Theyre sickenly cute just like Fat Nuggets.Again it's a character Fat Nuggets will be playing multiple of.

Lilith as the Empress of the Nyakuza Metro:The Empress is a whole new definition of crazy cat lady.She is the dangerous,ruthless and deadly ruler of the cat underground.And what else can you expect from Laura Post the voice of Valentine the combat medic(a literal nurse ninja)from Skullgirls.But as much as I'd love to gush about Skullgirls you're not here for that.Youre here for Hat in Time.Empress is cannot be damaged,a trait only shared by Snatcher(who cant be damaged untill you turn him blue and even after the fight he's fine cuz he's a ghost and cant double die)and Vanessa(who will insta kill Hat Kid if she grabs you).Try to attack her,no matter before or after the finale,and she will not only be perfectly fine but counterattack and insta kill you with a deadly scratch.(Again a trait that is shared only by Snatcher and Vanessa.Snatcher insta killing you for refusing his first contract three times and Vanessa catching you in her manor).Empress is the owner of a jewelry store but it's only a cover for her criminal activities along with a place to store her goods.Shes taken an interest in the time pieces that were scattered across her Metro and forced Hat Kid to collect them for her(At least shes paying cash even though as an alien Hat kid has no idea what to do with it except make money angels Scrooge McDuck style.)But she makes sure Hat kid knows what will happen if she betrays her when Hat kid witnesses Empress killing a supposed thief when she found their cat hair on her jewelry.But Hat Kid takes her time pieces regardless when Empress is away only to get caught.Empress is obviously angry but decides to play literal Cat and Mouse with Hat kid,announcing to her members across the metro via speakers to catch her and they'll be rewarded one million dollars.Its then a race to get back to the surface while avoiding the Nyakuza cats and Empress who is firing missiles from a diamond studded RPG.Hat Kid eventually makes her way to the elevator back up but Empress is waiting.Before she can kill Hat Kid though,two officers enter the elevator as well which makes her nervous and leave as soon as possible.Leaving Hat kid to survive another day,for now...If you go back to her jewelry store after the finale,there will be police all around and in her store.Apparently the cat police have always been aware of her crimes but cant get the evidence they need.After the little stir Hat Kid and Empress caused in the finale the Cheif of Police (who Im making Lucifer)has sent some officers to check in.They wont find anything,but it's more of to make Empress be on her best behavior which means she cant do anything incriminating infront of them. But dont push your luck,if you attack her she Will K.O. you.

Razzle and Dazzle as the Metro cats:All the cats of the Metro Nyakuza, Civilians or a part of the force are all played by Razzle and Dazzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Which do you wanna see next  
> More hat in hell  
> ShowSwitch  
> Y/n Mange hazbin concert preperations  
> Or the continuation of the into the Y/n verse


	48. ShowSwitch Hazbin Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are some scenarios for Hazbin Boss. Since no one voted for what the next chapter should have been, I'm doing oneshots still.

Vagatha:You are such an immature degenerate!  
Y/n:Oh go suck a dick Vagatha.Ya know since you're obviously not sucking your husband's.  
Vaggie:..Excuse me?!  
Y/n:Suck a dick!Suck a dick!Suck a motherfucking dick  
Angel:(playing piano)Suck a huge or a smallll dick!

Angel:So...when are ya gonna tell Strawberry pimp you love him?  
Y/n:(laughs)...Oh you're serious?Let me laugh even harder!(laughs more)Oh, Angie youre such a jokester!What makes you think I love that red dickhead?  
Angel:I found this in your office.(pulls out a crayon drawing of Alastor and Y/n's dream wedding)  
Y/n:(Blushes and tries to grab the paper)Tony!That is Mommy's private work document!

Y/n,Angel,Alastor and Charlotte are taking a picture.  
Photographer:And smile!(takes picture)  
Y/n:Let me see!....DAMN IT!You can barely see me in this one either!  
Charlotte:Maybe get higher heels,shorty  
Angel:(snickers)  
Y/n:Hey I am not short!You assholes are all just too tall!  
Alastor:Of course Pearly.Here let me help(picks up Y/n)Another picture if you please.  
Y/n:Wait no,I dont wanna be in a picture like this!Alastor put me down!

Alastor:(on phone)Since our little trip to Loo Loo land didnt turn out so well,I was thinking you could accompany Charlotte and I to Disney's World of Villainy?  
Y/n:I told you,we are not bodyguards.We did that and it ended badly.  
Alastor:The World of Villainy is much more secure than Loo Loo Land.So you wont have to do any guarding.I'll pay for everything including tickets for your daughter and employees to come along too.  
Y/n:How many times do I have to tell you?!My SON is a Crossdresser!....Well,it does sound like fun,and I haven't done anything like this with Angie for years...But you better not make this into one of your perverted fantasies!Tony is still traumatized from catching us in my office!  
Alastor:Of course Sea Star~

Y/n is at Alastor's manor.Alastor is trying to get Y/n to get closer to the gators in the moot.  
Alastor:Come on Sea Star,its okay.They wont harm you.Here(gestures for Critter to come closer)This is Critter.Why dont you pet him?  
Y/n:And get my hand bitten off by his mama?No thanks.  
Alastor:Dont be so dramatic  
Y/n:Pot meet kettle.And I've done worst than bite hands of demons who've touched Angie.  
Alastor:Sea Star,I promise no harm will come to you.(takes Y/n's hand and leads it Critter's back)See?You're fine.  
Y/n:(pets Critter)I guess it's kinda nice.

At Loo Loo land  
Alastor:You know the deal Pearly~  
Y/n:(sighs)Fine!Whatever,just make it quick.Our kids are still out there.  
Alastor:Of course.Now strip down so I can(sexual rant)

Outside it shows Y/n and Alastor are in the Fucking Booth(cuz of course Loo Loo land cant have a normal photo booth)Charlotte and Angel both wait a distance away.  
Charlotte:Please,put a holy bullet in my head and kill me.  
Angel:(uses a hand to pat her shoulder)There,there

Y/n,Angel,Niffty,Husk,Alastor and Charlotte are all having their weekly karoke party at S.I.R.E.N.This weekly's theme is Disney Villain songs.

Angel:I put a spell on you,and now you're mine~You cant stop the things I do~I ain't Lyin.Been 87 years.Right down to the day.Now the spider is back!And theres Hell to pay~ I put a spell on you  
And now you're Miiiinnneeeeeee~

Niffty:Every little ray of sunshine,robs me of my youth!Who to blame?Who the one?Who to curse?You know the only one to blame would be my enemy the sun!Snuff out the light!Claim your right to a world of darkness!Snuff out the light!Neophytes on a world of darkness!

Husk:Y/n DeVil.Y/n DeVil if she doesn't scare you,no evil thing will.To see her is to take a sudden chill.Y/n,Y/n Devil.  
Y/n:I'm here to have a good time,and I feel so attacked right now.

Charlotte:Prince Alastor,yes it is he but not as you know him!Read my lips and come to grips with reality!  
Alastor:I think this a is rather personal grudge...  
Charlotte:Yes meet a blast from your past!Who's lies were too good to last!Say hello to your precious prince Alastor!

Alastor:When Mr.Alastor says theres trouble closes at hand,you better pay attention now cuz I'm the Boogey Man!(spins and twirls Y/n around)And if you aren't shaking,theres something very wrong.Cuz this may be the last time you'll hear the Boogie song~

Y/n:Okay my turn!  
Charlotte:Let me guess,Poor Unfortunate Souls?  
Y/n:You think just cuz I'm old,I dont keep up with modern Disney?You thought wrong little girl!(plays the music on the karoke machine)  
Well, Y/n hasn't always been this glam💎  
I was a drab little shark once🦈  
Now I know I can be happy as a clam😊  
Because I'm beautiful, baby~(spins around with her arms out)  
Did your daddy say listen to your heart💗  
Be who you are on the inside(boops Charlotte's nose)  
I need three words to tear his argument apart🎶  
Your daddy lied!  
I'd rather be  
Shiny✨(all the lights britten as electricity sparks around her)  
Like a treasure from a sunken pirate wreck  
Scrub the deck and make it look(dancing)  
Shiny✨  
I will sparkle like a wealthy woman's neck(runs a finger I a cut throat gesture)  
Just a sec!

Y/n walks toward her tank of ocean fish.She taps the tank to get the fishes' attention.  
Y/n:Don't you know  
Fish are dumb, dumb, dumb🎵  
They chase anything that glitters,beginners!  
Oh, and here they come, come, come🎶  
To the brightest thing that glitters✨  
Mmm, fish dinners😋

One of the fish leap out the tank and Y/n grabs it before swallowing it whole.  
Y/n:I just love free food~  
And you look like seafood,seafood

Just then Vagatha burst into the office and she looks pissed.  
Charlotte:And here I though I'd get away from the screaming  
Vagatha:What the Hell are you doing here?!With our daughter no less!Was it not enough to embarrass me in my home?!Now you're here in this hobble making even more of a fool of yourself!  
Alastor:Vagatha...

Y/n raises her hand to stop him before he can say anything else.She walks over to Vagatha and looks over her.  
Charlotte:Did..did she get taller?  
Angel:Oh this is gonna be good.  
Y/n:Well, well, well  
Little Vaggie's having trouble with her luck🍀  
You little semi-demi-mini-god🎶

Y/n gets in Vagatha's face a little while taunting her.She then pulls back to summon a large,pointy fishing hook on a chain.She throws it and the hook goes around Vagatha's neck.Y/n then pulls the chain which in turns pulls Vagatha.Y/n grabs her arm to stop her from falling.  
Y/n:Ouch! What a terrible performance  
Get the hook!Get it?  
You don't swing it like you used to  
Y/n uses the grasp on Vagatha's arm and throws her over her shoulder and across the room.Y/n dances with her hair whipping around as she moves.  
Yet I have to give you credit for my start🎵  
And your pristine image 🎶  
For just like you I made myself a work of art🎨  
I'll never hide; I can't, I'm too  
Shiny✨  
Watch me dazzle like a diamond in the rough💎  
Strut my stuff; my stuff is so  
Shiny✨

Vagatha struggles to get up and summons several spears of light at Y/n.She dodges all of them while dancing which enrages Vagatha.She summons a spear in her hands and charges at Y/n only for her to grab the spear and knock it out of Vagatha's hands.It dispels and Y/n kicks Vagatha away from her.

Y/n:Send your armies but they'll never be enough  
My skin's too rough  
Vaggie girl, you could try, try, try🎶  
But you can't expect a Lepidoptera  
To beat a Selachimorpha,look it up  
You will die, die, die🎵  
Now it's time for me to take apart  
Your aching heart💔  
Y/n snaps and the lights turn off.Y/n's bioluminescence turns on and bathes the room in a bright electric blue glow.

Y/n:Far from the ones who abandoned you(gesture to Alastor)  
Chasing the love of this sinner🎵  
Who made him feel wanted🎶  
You tried to be tough  
But your armour's just not hard enough  
Y/n throws her hook and chain again and it wraps around Vagatha's waist.Y/n then whips and swing her around.  
Y/n:Vaggie  
Now it's time to kick your  
Hiney🎵  
Ever seen someone so  
Shiny✨  
Soak it in 'cause it's the last you'll ever see🎶  
C'est la vie mon ami~  
I'm so  
Shiny✨  
Now I'll eat you, so prepare your final plea🎶  
Just for me🎵  
You'll never be quite as  
Shiny✨  
You wish you were nice and  
Shiny✨

Vagatha lies on the floor beaten and bruised.The siren infront of her has her hidden layers of teeth out,a sign that she's in feeding mode.For the first time for a while,Vagatha feels fear.Y/n comes closer and Vagatha can feel the breath of the siren on her neck.Just when Vagatha thinks she'll take a chunk out of her jugular,Y/n pulls away.

Y/n:You've got some nerve,coming here into my office like you own the place.Interrupting our good time and screaming like a banshee infront of your kid.The only reason I'm not eating you alive right now is because your daughter is here.Dont mistake my mercy for weakness.I wont spare you again.Now,I suggest you get out and Never come back to my place of business unless you're paying for a hit in the human world.Do I make myself clear?  
Vagatha:Y-yes....

Vagatha gets to her feet and leaves the S.I.R.E.N. building.Y/n watches her exit the door and looks out the window to make sure she's leaving.A few minutes pass before Y/n turns back to her employees and guests.Her mood seemed to do a complete 180.The intimidating siren gone and replaced by her normal personality.  
Y/n:Now that that's taken care of,who's turn is it next?  
Alastor:(whispers)I am so in love with her...  
Y/n,Angel and Charlotte:You what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling a little better now that I've had a bit of time,but it's best I keep working.My thoughts aren't always the best place to be so having my mind occupied helps.


	49. ShowSwitch Hazbin Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are some more Hazbin Boss oneshots.I meant to post them yesterday but I figured I could use a little more me time so I spent yesterday playing Hat in time,doing some death wish.And for those of you who know what that is,before you say that's not relaxing and even worst for my morale,the switch version is slightly easier.And it's still not as soul crushing as playing Hollow Knight which I still have to finish.

Y/n and Alastor are in bed together.  
Alastor:Good morning Sea Star~Did you rest well?  
Y/n:You serious?You barely let me sleep  
Alastor:My apologies Pearly.You're just so irresistible.Do you want to have another round?  
Vagatha:AALLLLAASTTOOORRRR!!!!!  
Y/n and Alastor:Shit...

Alastor:So I'm thinking we should have a spring wedding.  
Y/n:What?  
Alastor: It just seems better,harsh weather wont be afflicting Hell  
Y/n:We aren't...engaged?  
Alastor:.... So that's what I forgot to do today

Alastor,Angel,Husk and Niffty are all tightly hugging Y/n after she returns from a solo job in the human world.  
Y/n:You guys always do this.I was only gone for a day!Less than 24 hours actually.It wasn't even a dangerous job,just a few thugs.  
Alastor:Darling your client wanted you to take out her Ex and his entire group of ruffians!They had knives and guns!  
Y/n:Oh it wasn't that bad.Most of them were a bunch of morons.I was able to snipe most of them.

Continuation of the Disney World of Villainy trip

Husk gets out of the front seat of the S.I.R.E.N. Van and opens the sliding door.Alastor,Charlotte,Angel and Niffty get out while Y/n leaves from shotgun.She shakes from excitement already in the Disney spirit with her black Bad Witches Club shirt with Ursula,Maleficent and Queen Grimhilde.She even got Angel in the mood too,wearing his Vogue Disney shirt with modern fashionista versions of Creulla DeVil,Ursula, Maleficent, and Grimhilde.Nifty hops around exited wearing a Minnie mouse headband and dress.Unfourtunately or fortunately depend on who's point of view it is,Y/n and Niffty's badgering got Husk to wear a shirt with Lucifer(whether the devil one or the cat one I'll let you decide😉)with the words "Lucify not funny.Lucify Mean".Alastor being the absolute dad that he is,is wearing a grey tee with the words"My favorite Disney Villain is my wife".He also somehow convinced Charlotte to wear Disney merch too.Instead of her casual dress she has a Descendants T-shirt with "Rotten to the core" and a red apple on it and black leather pants. 

Alastor:Arent you excited,Sea Star?This will be so much fun!  
Y/n:Alright listen here,I agreed to come here but this is our day off.That means no work including 'working' to keep our only way to the living world.In other words,if you pull any sort of kinky bullshit I swear to Lucifer I will-  
Alastor:(pinches Y/n's cheek)You are so cute,Sea Star~  
Charlotte:I regret this already...  
Husk:Join the club.  
Angel:Okay that's enough!Ya can flirt with my Ma on ya own time not in public.  
Y/n:(hugs Angel)This is why you're my favorite son,Angie!😊  
Angel:I'm ya only son.  
Y/n:And that's why I love you so much!(sees mascots dressed as the Sanderson sisters)Oh Angie look!The Sanderson sisters!You used to love them when you were younger!Can we take a picture please?!  
Angel:(sighs)Fine  
Y/n:Yay!(climbs on Angel's shoulders)Onwards!  
Angel:I will drop ya.  
Y/n:No you wont,you love me too much.Also you love not being grounded for 2 weeks.  
Angel:This is so embarrassing....  
To be continued 

Alastor and Y/n playing chess in Alastor's room.  
Y/n:Checkmate!See?Told you I can play!  
Alastor:Seems you have me pinned down,Pearly~

Alastor is cuddling with a sleeping Y/n.  
Alastor:I know I can be difficult and a literal pain in your ass.I just enjoy your company so much.You make me feel and do things that I wouldnt for anyone but Charlie and my mother.I'm in love with you Y/n.  
Alastor closes his eyes and begins to drift off but heres a faint whisper.  
Y/n:I love you too Alastor

Alastor is in Y/n's house with a cake and balloons.  
Alastor:Happy Deathday,Sea Star!  
Y/n:Did....did you break into my house?!  
Alastor:No,no.Anthony gave me his key.I sent him with Charlotte to go shopping with my Pentagram Sky Red credit card.I told them to take their time and enjoy themselves.So why dont we do the same?I still have to give you your death day gift~

Y/n being invited to have dinner with Alastor.(This was inspired by Hey Baby, I Think I Wanna-WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?! By Bookworm4567)

Alastor:Are you enjoying your Seafood gumbo,Sea Star?  
Y/n:Dont you Sea Star me.Im only here for the free food...But yeah its good.Why'd you call me here anyway?Its not the full moon yet.  
Alastor:Well,I'm sure you're aware of Vagatha and I's pending divorce?  
Y/n:Yeah.Good riddance to bad rubbish.Now I dont have to dodge weapons made of light on my way out anymore.But what's that gotta do with all this?  
Alastor:As you know my marriage with Vagatha was arranged.We were married very early during my era of carnage.  
Y/n:I remember that.It was one of the reasons I hated working for Vox.Considering I could die while you two where having your dick measuring contest.But I had to support me and Tony somehow and Vox paid pretty good.  
Alastor:(laughs)Sea Star I can assure you that I'm much bigger than that loathsome flat screen.But the point I was trying to make is now that Vagatha is leaving in a week and I'm single again,I'm able to choose my partner.  
Y/n:Congratulations, I guess?  
Alastor:Thank you!I was hoping you'd take the news well.Because I have something very important to tell you.  
Alastor snaps and a box appears in his hands.He opens it to show a ring with a large diamond and rubies.Y/n's eyes widen as she takes everything in.  
Alastor:(takes one of Y/n's hands and goes to put the ring on her finger)Sea Star,will you do me the honor of beco-

Y/n suddenly pulls her hand away from Alastor's.Theres a loud crash as she runs through the dining room doors leaving a siren shaped hole in them.Alastor pulls his hands back and closes the ring box.That answers that question.Thankfully he knows how to healthily handle rejection.  
Alastor:(blasts the doors down)Oh Sea Star~Dont you know I love the thrill of the hunt?!You can try to run but you won't escape!I know these halls like the back of my hand!(Starts running after his future bride)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I'm doing Y/n Mange next but am unsure about what I should do with it.One shots/scenarios or more of the hazbin concert storyline.You guys decide and I'll post it Saturday or Sunday


	50. ShowSwitch Hazbin Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know I said I'd do Y/n Mange next but 1,I dont have enough votes yet  
> 2,I'm bored and dont have anything else I wanna do right now

Disney's World of Villainy trip continued 

Alastor:This is so much fun!Aren't you glad you came,Lotte?  
Charlotte:The Chernabog Mountain Coasters are always a win and the Journey to the Underworld Boat tunnel was pretty fun too.So yeah,I'm having a good time.  
Angel:Speak for yourself Chuckles.This fluff was not meant ta get wet.Thank Lucifer the swinging Jolly Rodger ride aired it out.  
Husk:How can you kids like those things?!I'm still feelin sick.  
Niffty:Its the thrill and momentum that makes it so fun!Going round and round and up and down! Like the Gothel Tower Drop!  
Y/n:Listen to your roomie,Husky.Now let's get something to eat,I'm starving.The Poison Apple Bar and Grill should be somewhere around here.  
Charlotte:Isnt that from the Shrek series?  
Angel:Yeah,but the whole place is a Disney reference,so I guess it's not copyright?And even if it is,we're in Hell.If Mammon can rip off Lucifer's theme park who can tell Disney they cant rip off DreamWorks of their copycat?  
Y/n:(pulls out the park map)Okay the Poison Apple is over there and we are-Hold on a minute....(looks up gasps)It is over here!Look Tony!Its Oogie Boogie's Freaky Funhouse!We used to love seeing the show when we came here!Let's go!  
Angel:What about lunch?  
Y/n:Boogie Man now,Food later!(Drags Angel towards Funhouse)  
Husk:Well that's a first  
To be continued....Again

Y/n raising teenage Angel

Y/n:Tony have you seen my makeup anyw-  
Angel:(stops putting on Y/n's lipstick midway)Y/n!It,it ain't what it looks like!I wont do it again!I-  
Y/n:Anthony calm down.Its okay.Im not mad.If you wanted to borrow my makeup you just had to ask.  
Angel:I...I thought ya were gonna hit me...  
Y/n:When your bastard of a sperm donner gets to Hell I'm gonna have a stern talk with him.And by that I mean I'm gonna have him hanging from the end of my hook while dunking him into the ocean like bait.Tony,I would never hurt you like that,I promise.Come here(hugs Angel)

Y/n shopping with Angel for a dress for a party  
Angel:(comes out of the dressing room wearing a pink 1940s lace halter dress)What about this one?  
Y/n:Give me a twirl.  
Angel:(spins)Well?  
Y/n:(claps)Oohh!Nice!

Y/n is comforting a crying Angel.  
Angel:And since he wasn't answering any of my calls,I went ta check on him!Ya know since the extermination was last week!And I find him fuckin some broad!  
Y/n:(Pets Angel's hair)Sshhh...Its okay Tony...Hes not worth crying over.You were to good for him,he's outta his mind.  
Later  
Y/n:Tony!I made Cannibal Casserole for Dinner!  
Angel:Ya make it outta that fucker?  
Y/n:And that slut.  
Angel:Thanks Ma(sniffles but smiles)Ya the best

Y/n is holding a piglet with a big pink bow wrapped around his neck.  
Y/n:Happy adoption Anniversary Tony!  
Angel:(gasps)Oh my Lucifer!I love him!(Rubs his cheek against Fat Nuggets)

Charlotte accidentally being turned back into a child

Y/n:So why did you need the book?Its not the Full Moon yet?  
Small Charlotte:Daddy!(runs up and hugs Alastor's legs)  
Y/n:Uhhhhh....  
Alastor:Charlotte was practicing her magic and she tried using a time travel spell.But she ended up using an age reversing one by mistake.I need the Grimoire to see if it will wear off or if it needs a counterspell.  
Charlotte:Daddy who is this?  
Alastor:This is Daddy's...friend Y/n.She was bringing me a very important book I need for you.  
Charlotte:What is it?!  
Alastor:Its a surprise!Now why dont you go play with your mother while I get everything ready?  
Charlotte:Okay!  
Alastor:Sea Star,if it's not too much,can you keep an eye on Lotte?Vagatha....was never a Attentive mother even back when Charlie was young.  
Y/n:(sighs)Fine,but only because you've appealed to my inner mother.

Charlotte:Mommy,mommy!Let's play together!  
Vagatha:Not now Charlotte.Mommy is busy.Just go play somewhere else.Now go.Shoo.  
Charlotte:...Yes mother...  
Vagatha leaves the room and Charlotte crestfallenly trudges towards her room.  
Y/n:Talk about Mother of the Year.Poor kid....Hey, hey Charlotte!  
Charlotte:Yes Miss Y/n?  
Y/n:Just call me Y/n.'Miss' is too formal.Do ya like bubbles kid?(Uses hydrokinesis to make a perfectly round bubble.Then makes it turn into a diamond,then star and a heart.)  
Charlotte:Wow!

Y/n and Charlotte are dressed in fancy hats and sitting at a small table.  
Charlotte:More tea?  
Y/n:Certainly.

Charlotte and Y/n watching Kids Next Door Operation M.O.V.I.E.  
Y/n and Charlotte:Rainbow Monkeys!Rainbow Monkeys!Oh so very round and super chunky🎵Bringing love where ever they go🎶  
Everyone's made of a big rainbow🌈  
Oh, red and orange, and pink and blue,🎵  
Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys,🎶  
We love you!💗

Charlotte:Y/n let's make pictures!  
Y/n:Alright,got any paint  
Charlotte:Yes,but Mommy says paint makes a mess  
Y/n:Well shes not here right now.So pull out the paints kiddo!  
Charlotte:Okay!(pulls out easels and paint)  
Y/n:Hey Charlie,its not just water I can control.Look!(hydrokensis the different paint colors to make a rainbow)  
Charlotte:Oohh!Pretty!

Alastor walks into the room where Vagatha is,assuming she is with their child.He is looking at the Grimoire so he doesnt notice that Charlotte isnt there.  
Alastor:I found out which spell Charlotte us-(looks up)Vagatha,where is Charlotte?  
Vagatha:She's somewhere around.I told her to go play and leave me alone.  
Alastor:So our daughter is five again and you just ignore her.I swear to Lucifer if I wasnt bond by a deal to never harm your family you absolutely useless woman...(leaves to go find Charlotte)  
Alastor goes to Charlotte's room to see if shes there.He opens the door and the sight almost makes him melt.Y/n and Charlotte are asleep,slightly covered in paint.Charlotte is cuddled into Y/n who has her tail wrapped around her.Alastor can see one of the easels with Charlotte's painting.Its a picture of Charlotte,Y/n and himself all holding hands.Vagatha comes into the room and starts screeching.  
Vagatha:Charlotte is a fucking mess!They're going to stain the bed with all that paint!Get up you lowlife and leave my house this in-  
Vagatha is silenced when Y/n snaps her fingers.She retracts her tail and gets up carefully as not to disturb Charlotte.  
Y/n:Shut your trap for once you Banshee.Charlie is sleeping.Ya find anything in your magic book yet?  
Alastor:Yes,the spell will wear off by itself tomorrow.  
Y/n:That's good.Today was nice but I'm not a babysitter.  
Alastor:Thank you Sea Star.I'll pay you back for this.  
Y/n:Eh,dont worry too much about it.I might just cash in a favor later on.Shes a good kid.Despite all your...youness you're not so bad a dad.

Y/n:Ugh Niffty I swear to Lucifer if you dont stop acting like you drank 12 cups of coffee mixed with crack and sit the fuck down I will shot you!  
Husk:What got you in a bad mood?  
Y/n:Oh I dont know,maybe it has something to do with the fact your drunk ass missed the most easiest shot on our job today?!You missed!How did you miss,he was three feet infront of you!How do I work with you morons?!I have half the mind to fire you all!  
Angel:(comes up to Y/n with a takeout box)Ma.  
Y/n:What?!  
Angel:Here,eat this.  
Y/n takes the box from Angel and opens it.Inside is sushi rolls and fried tempura.  
Y/n:Thanks Angie,you're the best.Im gonna go eat in my office.If you need me,somebody better be dying twice. (Leaves the room)  
Husk:The fuck is with her today?Is it some PMS shit?  
Angel:Ya live with a woman ya should know that female sinners dont get periods.Theyre reproductive system is as dead as they are.Even with female only demons like sirens they dont get periods they go through heat every couple of months.They start slippin into parts of they're full form and everything.Scales, fins, teeth ,ect.Y/n is about to go through hers so shes moody.  
Niffty:Oh,I thought it had something to do with the fact it's a full moon and she has to go to Alastor's today.  
Angel:Fuck is that today?Y/n cant have sex or it will trigger her heat early.And if that happens she could end up eatin him.That's not even mentioning any "happy accidents" that might happen afterwards.I'm hoping she'll just cancel or only drop off the book.  
Later  
Angel:Okay Y/n I've filed away all the paperwork from today's job.Lets go.We can get fish tacos from that one food truck you like on the way home.  
Niffty:You just missed her.She left with Mr.Alastor a few minutes ago.  
Angel:Fuck!What the hell is she thinkin?!  
Husk:She probably aint,but what else is new.Good luck being an older brother kid.  
At Alastor's Mansion  
Alastor:The scales are new.Dont get me wrong though.They are quite lovely Sea Star~  
Y/n:Scales?Dont tell me...(touches the side of her face were a few blue and f/c scales are freckled and trail down her neck.)Shit...I shouldn't be here but I'm too horny to give a damn.Come here!(Pounces onto Alastor)  
Alastor:Oh Sea Star~So forward today aren't you?  
Y/n:Shut up!Either fuck me or I'm gonna eat you!And that's not a euphemism from anything!  
Alastor:Of course Sea Star💗  
The next morning  
Y/n is smoking a cigarette while Alastor is lying down trying to collect himself.Y/n wanted to go at it till dawn and was an absolute viscous top.Shown by the many bite marks littering Alastor's body.It looks like Y/n tried to eat him alive,which at one point she did.  
Alastor:Whew, you were so ferocious last night Sea Star~ It was definitely our most passionate fornication yet💖  
Y/n:(blows smoke)Yeah well that's a risk with bedding a siren.You dont like well you're the one who asked for it.So dont start complaining when the teeth come out.  
Alastor:No,no.I quite enjoyed it.I hope you can do this again Sea Star.Though maybe a warning will be nice.


	51. Y/n Mange Au

Y/n is performing at her ballet recital  
Lucifer:(whistles,claps,sets off fireworks)Whoa!That's my girl!Whoahoo!  
Y/n:Dad...(facepalms)

Y/n practicing her scales with Lilith playing the piano  
Y/n:Do mi so do  
Do so mi do  
Every truly cultured music student knows🎶  
You must learn your scales and your arpeggios🎵  
Bring the music ringing from your chest  
And not your nose  
While you sing your scales and your arpeggios🎼

Lucifer teaching Y/n to drive  
Lucifer:Okay first things first,are you aware of the PRNDL?  
Y/n:The what?  
Lucifer:Apparently not.Okay that's fine ,that's why I'm here to teach you.Can you see the lever with P R N D L?You can spell that right?  
Y/n:You mean the gear shift?The letters stand for Park,Reverse,Neutral,Drive and Low.  
Lucifer:Apple tart is this some new fangled slang you kids use?You're not making sense.Youre probably nervous let's turn on the radio.Do you want Am or FM?  
Y/n:You know I dont like radios!

Lucifer:What da Fuck is this shit?!  
Y/n:A pear?  
Lucifer:You know we are an apple only family!

Lucifer and Y/n baking apple pie.  
Y/n:(makes the pie crust top and puts it on top of the pie)Over, under, around and through🎶  
Grab the little Hellscape rabbit, pull him through🐇  
Pinch it and fold it and tie it in a bow🎀  
Like two little bunny ears made out of dough🎵  
Lucifer:(uses magic to float the pie into the oven and uses his Hellfire to light it)Over and under, wherever you roam🎶Sweet little Hellscape rabbit, hop back home🐇

Y/n and Octavia playing together(since Octavia was born in 2003 I can imagine she and Y/n went to the same school though Y/n would be a little older)  
Y/n:Daddy!  
Lucifer:Yes Candy Apple ?  
Y/n:Via's mom is on the phone.She sounds mad.  
Lucifer:Oh boy...(takes the phone)Hello Stella.Octavia?She's playing swords with Y/n.Oh no they are bleeding,and they're dead.Dont call again.(hangs up)  
Y/n:Dad!  
Lucifer:Sorry I panicked 

Stolas and Lucifer are having coffee in the Mange gardens while Y/n are playing.Lucifer is wearing a "number one Dad" shirt while Stolas has one that says "Do it for the Egg".  
Lucifer:We're great dads.  
Stolas:The best.  
Lucifer:Nobody in hell are better fathers than us.Cheers!To fatherhood!(raises cup)  
Stolas:(raises cup as well)To fatherhood  
Lucifer and Stolas take a drink when a scream comes from somewhere in the garden.They both spit take and get coffee all over each other.  
Octavia:Daddy!Mr.Lucifer!Y/n fell out of a tree!I think she broke something!  
Stolas:Oh dear....  
Lucifer:Shit,Lilith is gonna kill me  
Later  
Y/n:And that's how I broke my leg!  
Charlie is signing her name along with rainbows on Y/n's leg cast.Octavia had already signed with a star dotting her 'i'.Lilith is adjusting the pillow under the cast making sure its elevated.She then turns to glare at her husband.  
Lilith:Lucifer......  
Lucifer:I'm gonna go check with the doctor to see when the cast can come off.Okay?Okay!(runs out the room)  
Lilith:LUCCIIFFERRRRRR!!!!

The hotel gang,Cherri,Helsa and Seviathan,the seven sins,Henry and Sir Pentious and the Egg bois.  
Stolas and Octavia are at Lu Lu World where Lucifer is opening a new attraction.(slightly inspired by chapter 4 of Turn Back time by TalosLives)

Lucifer:Alright this new attraction is based off a children show Y/n used to watch.It was orginally about beloved children entertainers but once they fell into obscurity,they began to brainwash kids and enslave their human guest stars!Its so horrifying that even Mammon wouldnt dare make a rip off less he want to shake in terror at the very thought!Which is why I even invited him here.  
Mammon:Rip off?!I would never do that to my favorite brother!Loo Loo land is legally distinct and in no way a cheap,cash grab imitation of your beloved Lu Lu World.  
Y/n:Dad are you serious?No one is gonna find this scary.  
Helsa:Any Kiddie show the Mortalborne watched cant be that bad.  
Lucifer:Okay dont say I didnt warn you.  
Everyone sans Lucifer gets into the cart and it goes into the tunnel.Suddenly bright lights brighten the darkness and a colorful and cheery background can be seen.Several horse shaped animatronics walk towards them.  
Octavia:This is supposed to be scary?(looks at her father)Dad?  
Stolas:😱Its...them...  
Octavia:Dad?Dad what is it?!  
Stolas:We need to get out of here!Quickly before-  
But it was too late the animatronics stated singing as music played in the background.  
My little pony!I used to wonder what friendship could be🎵My little pony!Until you All shared its magic with me🎶  
The purple horse with horns and wings starts talking  
Twilight:Welcome friends!I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle!Let's go on an adventure in my magical castle of friendship!  
Everyone but Niffty,Y/n and Charlie:(Screaming)


	52. Siren's tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heres more Aus in the Classic dimension.This actually took me a few days and I'm still kinda unhappy with the pacing.Sorry for that.

Swap:Are you serious?Sure you still wear this inferior base form but do you really not know what you are?Can you not feel it?No,its rude of me to assume.After all we all cant be aware of the power within as quickly as I did.  
ShowSwitch:Speak for yourself 'queenie'.I fell in 1930 right in the middle of all the post war anti siren propaganda.  
Charlie:I remember a little about sirens.Mom knew a few of them.My uncle Leviathan was actually married to one and their son is a fledgling.They were a species of female demons that made up a large portion of Hell's aquatic demons and entertainers.But they were wiped out when Uncle Levia and his ex wife's petty jabs at each other escalated into a war that resulted in the species genocide.  
Baxter:I also remember sirens as I fell in 1912 when their population increased from the Titanic sinking.Im actually quite fortunate to be alive as sirens are quite cannibalistic especially towards other aquatic demons.  
Classic:Wait,what?!  
Swap:Ah yes,sirens ate many fellow demons during back then.Why in the era of Sirens exterminations only happened every five years as enough sinners were being eaten that yearly extermination wasnt warranted. I myself,find the taste of flesh quite enjoyable.  
Classic:Am I gonna end up like that?!  
Alastor:Please say yes.  
Sirenix:It ain't so bad.Ive chomped off a couple of dicks in my line of work.It kinda tastes like chicken.  
Alastor and Swap both flinch in digust at Sirenix's crude description.

Sirenix:If it bothers ya so much that ya cant stomachs it,you can always eat fish and stuff to satisfy the urge.  
Y/n Mange:Yeah,sushi and sashimi has been a life saver.The more fresh the fish is they better.Ikizukuri is my personal favorite.  
ShowSwitch:That that fancy fish that's prepared alive and still moving on your plate right?Sounds nice but if my food is alive I'd rather just swallow it whole than play with it.But you gotta lot of options kid.Eels like invertebrates like shrimp and crab and if your half bullshark like I am,then you also have alot of options since they can eat almost anything. We have the teeth for it.  
Classic:Oh thank Lucifer.I dont know how anyone could even imagine eating another person.No offense Al.  
Alastor:None taken Darling.  
Swap:Though you are truly limiting yourself if you never listen to your instincts to feed.Part of a sirens abilities come from the consumption of demons.You wont be able to do anything with yourself if you insist on being a vegan.  
Y/n Mange:I dont think you know what that word means.  
Angel:What's the big deal anyway?How ya talkin make sirens sound tough but from what I gathered ya just sound like cannibal mermaids.  
Swap:(to ShowSwitch, Mange and Sirenix)Dears if you please?  
Y/n Mange:Yeah  
ShowSwitch:Why not  
Sirenix:Alright 

The three sirens grab hands and start singing a wordless melody.Slowly everyone becomes enraptured by the melody.  
Mange,Sirenix,ShowSwitch:Aaahhhh Ohohhhh ahhhhh~Aaahhhhaahhhhhh🎵Welcome to the show~We're here to let you know🎵Our time is now,your time is running out🎶Ahhhhahhhhhh~

As the three sung,images flashed through everyone's mind.Images of demons singing along to the lyrics of the Love Love Sayu show starring ShowSwitch Y/n and the blue mist that traveled through Hell and into her.Sirenix scantily dressed and dancing on stage,pink mist rising from the ravenous crowd and blending with Valentino's red smoke.And Y/n Mange standing on stage electric sparks flying down the strings of Wild Pyre as thousands of demons cheered her name a gold mist coming from them and being absorbed by the princess.Each siren absorbing their individual mists,their eyes glowing.  
Classic:Um,what going on?  
Swap:Oh silly me,I completely forgot as a siren you cant be affected like others can.I suppose I'll have to give the exposition myself.Ahem.Sirens were a beautiful and dangerous group of demons,who could charm others with their voices.They would siphon the soul energy of other beings who heard their songs.The more of this energy they consumed,the more powerful they became and were able to spread their influence across Hell.  
As she narrated,Swap Y/n used her hydrokentic powers to make mini versions of herself with a crowd of demons.The water version of herself grew larger and then pounced on the crowd of unsuspecting demons.  
Swap:And spread their influence they did.Many sirens became famous and adored throughout Hell in various entertainment industries.And those who became singers gathered audiences bigger than even Lilith's.And even those who didnt became powerful in other ways.As most sirens were predatory from their animal instincts,they gained a taste for flesh in which they also consumed the souls of those they ate.Which gave them more power more quickly rather than just absorbing it slowly over time,despite them being able to spread more influence that way.  
Classic:Isnt that bad?  
Swap:To you maybe, but for those who weren't known throughout Hell quality was better than quantity.Sirens would hunt demons by luring them with their harmless looking human forms and voices,taking them to their underwater lairs and playing with them for ours before finally devouring them.

ShowSwitch:A stage now been set.Shake your worries dont you fret~  
Sirenix:Now receive our minuet,for a night you wont forget🎵  
Sirenix,ShowSwitch,Y/n Mange:Feel the wave of sound as it crashes down🔊You wont turn away🎶We'll make you wanna stay!We will be adored tell us that you want us🎵We wont be ignored!It's time for our reward!Now you need us~Come and heed us!Nothing can stop us now!  
As Swap explained how sirens came into power,Sirenix,Mange and ShowSwitch kept singing.The images projected in the others minds shifting to match the narrative.Various sirens on stage singing or dancing,having starring roles in movies and luring other demons to their lairs before dragging them underwater.

Swap:Yes,sirens were one of the most powerful,respected,loved and feared demons in Hell.It didnt matter if they were Mortalborne or not.They ruled not only Hell's entertainment but the very waters as well,with a kingdom on the sea that became home to most of the population.Even fledglings,demons who were either the male offspring of sirens or descendants of one,were strong in their own right.  
Classic:If they were so powerful what happened to them?  
Swap:Well sirens despite all their power had a few glaring weaknesses.A sirens throat is her most important body part as Siren's voice can not activate if its damaged or not taken care of.If one truly wanted to defeat a siren they'd only need to get to the throat.Also not all beings can be put under Siren's voice.Angels fallen or not,were immune to it completely so a few sirens and fledglings would get killed in the extermination if they weren't careful.There were also a few demons who were immune to Siren's voice and Fae demons exploited that.The far created wards using their magic,holy metal from weapons and different parts of demons who were immune.They would sell them,even though for a large price,and those who wore them were no longer be charmed by a siren.And even then water hindered sirens as well.A siren could transform into an aquatic form in the water replacing their legs with tails.But after years of living in just primarily water could make this transformation permanent.As if the lose of legs weren't bad enough there was also another obvious problem.As you probably already know,demons dont need to breath air, but sirens in this permanent state need to be in water as most had gills.Even those who didnt need to breath underwater,couldn't move well on dry land and were vulnerable.But even with all these weren't what brought the end of sirens.It was that foolish,pathetic excuse of a ruler Syclla who doomed them all.

Swap Y/n once again called on her hydrokinesis to make small figures as she told Classic about the fall of an era.  
Swap:Syclla was once the wife of Leviathan,avatar of greed,one of Lucifer's brothers,a prince of Hell and the Grand Admiral of Hell's navy.As such Syclla was one of the most privileged sirens in Hell.But then she had to ruin it all.Leviathan noticed Syclla sneaking out more often and that she was making alibis of where she was that didnt match up.One day he followed her in secret and found out she was having several dalliances with different high ranking members of his navy.Obviously Leviathan was enraged and their marriage ended on quite a messy note.Leviathan had flooded half of his ring in his rage and envy.Even afterwards Leviathan and Scylla's feud would not end.For the next few decades they would make jabs at the other with their subordinates and even their son as chest pieces in their little tantrum.Eventually Electra,mother of harpies,a species of demon unaffected by Siren's voice,approached Leviathan with the charms the Fae made.She told him how they made demons immune to the songs of sirens and proposed to make an alliance with Leviathan.Her armies with Leviathan's navy could take Syclla down once and for all.Leviathan agreed and had his crews equipped with the wards.The Fae were actually enslaved to make them during the war.Serves them right.Leviathan also supplied Electra's harpies with holy weapons as well.And that started the absolute massacre.Sirens and fledglings alike were being murdered across Hell for years before the final assualt was launched against Syclla's Isle.The kingdom fell with no survivors,Syclla being devoured by her own son.  
Classic:Wow.Thats...alot to take in.  
Swap:If Syclla had taken better advantage of what her sirens brought to the table it wouldnt have ended that way.  
Classic:How so?  
Swap:Did you forget how many sirens were famous throughout Hell?Even though there were many business practices to use Siren's voice to control the masses,those under its effects obey the siren who put them under the spell first and foremost.And nearly all of Hell had been under the influence of Siren's voice at least once at that point of time.The sirens could have had almost every demon who wasnt immune or protected under their control!

Meanwhile with Mange,ShowSwitch and Sirenix who are still singing changed the images to match Swap's hypothetical.It showed demons across all the 7 rings being brainwashed by sirens.  
Sirenix:Every word I weave🕷,is like a web of poetry🕸  
ShowSwitch:The world of make believe is now controlled by me~No need to explain🎶Just come forth and state your name🎵  
ShowSwitch,Sirenix,Y/n Mange:You cant fight it dont complain🎶You're no match for our restrain!

Swap:Even if Leviathan had called in reinforcements in the form of the other 6 sins,they still wouldnt have won against an army of that many demons!They would have been absolutely overwhelmed by the numbers!Even Lucifer himself couldn't wipeout Hell in a day!And as you can see,his precious Charlie isnt immune and neither is his beloved Lilith,though they have better resistance than most.Syclla could have overthrown all of them with a Hellwide army!  
Classic:That's awful!  
Swap:That's being tactful and using all your resources my child.Psychological warfare is half of the game.

The projection through the others minds show the reality that Swap described.Harpies swarmed by hundreds of demons and sirens.The 7 sins taking down sinner after sinner only for more to take their place.Lucifer hesitantly fighting Charlie and Lilith who were under the influence of Siren's voice.  
Sirenix,Mange and ShowSwitch:What we have in store all we want and more!We will break on through now it's time to finish you!We will be adored so tell us that you want us🎵We wont be ignored;its time for our reward🎶Now you need us come and heed us!Nothing will stop us now!Oh whoa Oh~Whooaa Ohhh~You didnt know that ya fell🎵Now that you're under our spelllllll~Now that you're under our spelllllllll🎶

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Dazzlings only extended version of Welcome to the Show is by Brilliant Venture.The sing is available on YouTube and SoundCloud.


	53. Shark  in  kinky  Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heres song one shot with Alastor and Sirenix.Let me know if you want this idea continued though

Alastor is sitting at the bar with a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass,keeping watch for Sirenix and Angel Dust.Husk is out cold sleeping on the counter.The main door opens and Sirenix walks into the hotel,her clothes and hair a bit disheveled.

Alastor:Well there you dear!You've kept me waiting.Poor Husker fell asleep on the job.  
Y/n:Not in the mood Antlers.  
Alastor snaps and another shot glass appears.He then pours some of the whiskey and offers it to Y/n.  
Alastor:Perhaps a shot will help settle you?  
Sirenix sits on a stool and downs the shot.Now that she is closer,Alastor can see the bruises on her arms.

Alastor:(pours Y/n another shot)Rough day at work?  
Y/n:...(grabs the glass and looks at it)Val got mad at me and Angie for a few set backs with today's shoot.  
Alastor:I suppose that's why our dear effeminate fellow isnt here?  
Y/n:Yeah,he's at Cherri's right now.He'll be back sometime in the morning or noon.Depends how long he sleeps in.  
Alastor:You know my dear,I've always wondered why a demon of your stature would work for such a disgusting creature like Valentino.I unfortunately missed the age of sirens by 8 years,but I've heard quite alot about them from Rosie.She was friends with quite a few as they were cannibalistic in nature.

Y/n:Lilith asked me the same thing when I first met her before she gave me the crash course.While you just missed when sirens still existed in Hell,I skipped it by generations.Even fledglings aren't as known and most dont have strong lament powers if any at this point.I didnt know what I was and how important that was.Val took advantage of that the second he found out.He would have kept doing so if I stayed in the dark.But I cant just leave.Sure I'm not bound by a soul contract but if I left he'd take it out on Angel and the poor suckers stuck working for him.

Alastor:So you play martyr.My dear,what if I told you could take care of your little moth problem once and for all?  
Y/n:What's the catch?I know ya ain't just doing this out of the kindness of your heart.And I'm not so naive to trust an Overlord again.  
Alastor:Ha Ha!As you should be.Ive never been a fan of Valentino.Even though I'll admit I'm a monster with pride,there are lines I'd rather not cross.My mother taught me to treat women with curtsey after all.  
Y/n:My my,what a gentleman.Whats the real reason?  
Alastor:It is a reason,at least part of one.My main reason is how the insect's death would effect Vox personally and businesswise.  
Y/n:There it is.Yeah theres nothing you can offer me that will make having Vox and Velvet out for my blood worth it.

The two sit in silence for a moment.Y/n finally finishes the second shot.Alastor pour himself another one as well.

Alastor:Right here, right now  
I put the offer out🎵  
I don't want to chase you down  
I know you see it🎶  
You run with me  
And I can cut you free✂️  
Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in  
So trade that typical for something colorful🌈  
And if it's crazy, live a little crazy(Shrugs)  
You can play it sensible, a queen of conventional👑  
Or you can risk it all and see🎲  
(Stands up and spreads out his arms)Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play?  
'Cause I got what you need  
So come with me and take the ride  
It'll take you to the other side🎶  
'Cause you can do like you do  
Or you can do like me  
Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key🗝  
Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly  
It'll take you to the other side🎵

Y/n:Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in  
Well, I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen🎵  
So thanks, but no  
I think I'm good to go  
'Cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in⛓  
Now I admire you, and that whole show you do📻  
You're onto something, really it's something  
But I live among the swells, and we don't pick up Husks and shells🎵I'll have to leave that up to you🎶(stands up and starts to move away from the bar)  
Don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play?'Cause I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride🎶I don't need to see the other side  
So go and do like you do  
I'm good to do like me  
Ain't in a cage, so I don't need to take the key🗝  
Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine  
I don't need to see the other side🎵

Alastor:Now is this really how you like to spend your days?Whiskey and misery, and parties and being treated like meat on display

Y/n:If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the ring.Disgraced and disowned, another one of your clowns

Alastor:But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little😄Just let me give you the freedom to dream and it'll wake you up and cure your aching💔Take your walls and start 'em breaking Now that's a deal that seems worth taking  
But I guess I'll leave that up to you

Y/n stops right before she goes up the stairs leading out the lobby.She looks at one of her bruised arms with Valentino's handmark and clenches her fist.She turns around back to Alastor sharply.

Y/n:Well, it's intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly  
So what percentage of the show would I be taking?  
Alastor:Fair enough, you'd want a piece of all the action I'd give you seven, we could shake and make it happen  
Y/n:Ha!I didnt fall this morning, eighteen would be just fine  
Alastor:Why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime?  
Y/n:Fifteen  
Alastor :I'd do eight  
Y/n:Twelve  
Alastor:Maybe nine  
Y/n:Ten

Alastor:So it's a deal then?  
Alastor hold out his hand that glows green while a sudden wind picks up.Y/n goes to take it,but pulls away last second.  
Y/n:It cant just be me who goes free.Angie and I are a package deal.His contract with Valentino has to be broken.  
Alastor:Darling I can assure you that not only will your dear Angel Dust be freed from Valentino's grasp but all the souls he's roped to work for him.And you can do whatever you wish with that dreadful studio.Even burn it to the ground!  
Y/n:Then it's a deal(shakes Alastor's hand)And I think this goes without saying,but Angel,Charlie and the others cant know about this till we deal with Val.  
Alastor:I wont talk if you dont,Sea shell.And Husker wont talk either.Right?  
Husk:Yeah your assasination plans are safe with me.I wont blab like Niffty would.  
Y/n:How long have you been awake?!  
Husk:Since ya started singing.I hope ya know what ya getting into kid.  
Y/n:Cant be any worst than being under Val's Leboutin heels.  
Husk:If you say so kid.You two plan your premeditated murder,I'm going to my room to sleep.(grabs the whiskey bottle of the bar and goes to his room)

Alastor:Well looks like this is the beginning to a beautiful partnership Darling.  
Y/n:I guess it is Smiles.

Y/n and Alastor:Don't you wanna get away to a whole new part you're gonna play?  
'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride  
To the other side  
So if you do like I do🎵  
So if you do like me🎶Forget the cage,'cause we know how to make the key🗝  
Oh, damn! Suddenly we're free to fly  
We're going to the other side  
So if you do like I do (To the other side)🎵  
So if you do like me (Going to the other side)🎶  
'Cause if we do, we're going to the other side  
We're going to the other side~


	54. Hazbin Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the last Hazbin oneshot where Y/n was in heat.I was inspired by One Time by slinkinginshadows.

Y/n:Ugh...I feel sick....  
Husk:Maybe it cuz you ate shrimp mac and cheese,spicy tuna pizza and clam chowder with Doritos for lunch!  
Y/n:I was hungry!And I needed seafood cuz I've barely resisted the urge to devour the first random demon I see!  
Niffty:Speaking of hungry,you've been eating alot lately.Youve gotten kinda pudgy.  
Y/n:Are you fucking calling me fat you little bitch?!  
Angel:Alright that enough.Here.(shoves a box into Y/n's arms)  
Y/n:(looks at box)Is this a fucking pregnancy test?!Angel what the actual Hell?!I'm not pregnant!  
Angel:You slept with Smiles during your heat 2 months ago.Even though ya knew that ya shouldnt.And ever since you've been moody,always hungry ,sick and tired,and puttin on weight.Take.The.Damn.Test!  
Y/n:Finnnnnnneeeeee

Some time later

Y/n:Oh boy....  
Husk:Guessing its postive.Serves ya right  
Niffty:Oh my gosh!I cant believe you're gonna have a baby!  
Y/n:No,no.This...cant be right  
Angel:And heres the denial  
Y/n:I cant actually be...Not with Alastor's!That's right this cant be right.Angie,this is the cheap brand you can buy from Imp City right?  
Angel:Yeah  
Y/n:Then this is probably inaccurate.Im not actually pregnant it's just wrong.  
Angel:Then here.I got more then one.If all of them are positive then we have our answer.  
Y/n:Fine it's not like they're all gonna be-

Time skip

Y/n:Postive!They're all fucking Postive!I cant believe this shit!  
The rest of S.I.R.E.N. are taking cover behind the reception desk as Y/n destroys the room in anger.Her hydrokinesis already made the water cooler explode.  
Angel:And theres the anger.Still 3 more stages to go.

Y/n:(sparking up)Stupid fucking Alastor and his damn dick!Stupid fucking pregnancy tests!Stupid heat!I should have just eaten him instead horniness be damned!90 fucking years of dealing with this shit and I go and get knocked up the one time I have sex during it!  
Angel:Calm down before ya literally blow a fuse.If the power goes out its gonna take hours to get it back on.And the fire department said they're gonna charge us if ya start another electrical fire.

Y/n:(deep breaths)I good.Im cool,Im fine. Im calm.(sparks disappear)This isnt really happening right?This this is all just a really bad nightmare.(Pinches self)Ow,okay not a nightmare.Maybe these things are just rigged to get you to buy more from the pregnancy scare.I'll just go and get the ones the Upper crust use after work.It'll be costly but it will prove once and for all that I'm not-

Cut to Y/n and Angel's appartment later that night

Y/n:Pregnant.  
Angel:And now we've gone from bargaining to depression.Im gonna get the ice cream.

Cuts to Y/n on her bed wrapped in blankets.She is eating ice cream tub after ice cream tub while crying.  
Y/n:My life is oovvvveerrrrrrrr!(sobs)Why is this happening to me?!How am I gonna work like this?!We can barely just afford keeping S.I.R.E.N. running!I cant afford a baby!(cries more before shoving a spoon full of ice cream in her mouth)Tonnnyyyyyyy!I need more whipped cream!

The next morning at S.I.R.E.N. 

Y/n:Good morning Husky,Niffty.  
Husk:Well you're in a better mood today.Not that I'm complaining.Ill take this over you destroying everything or crying.  
Niffty:I had to stay in late to clean up!I managed to sew up the curtains and the upholstery you tore and taped the wallpaper up.But I couldn't fix the water cooler.  
Y/n:That's fine,dont worry. I'll just cash in a favor with Al to replace it.  
Husk:Speakin' of Al,how are ya gonna tell him?  
Y/n:I'm not.Hes already been trying to get me to marry him since he finally got rid of Vagatha.If he finds out then he'll take it as a reason to entrap me.And I'll be double damned if I ever let him put that ring on my finger.After work I'm getting rid of the little parasite.He'll never even know.  
Niffty:Well actually-  
Alastor:(comes out of Y/n's office)Do you have something to tell me Sea Star?  
Y/n:Alastor!What where you doing in my office?!  
Alastor:Last night I came to see you but the little cyclops was the only one here.You should really pay the poor dear better if shes staying late to clean after your tantrums.  
Y/n:That's not answering my question Alastor.  
Alastor:The little dear asked me to come in for a moment and help her take the curtains down so she could sew them.I did so and while I was waiting for her to finish so I could put them back up,I found the cause of your tantrum on the floor.Several of them infact.(snaps his fingers and the pregnancy tests Y/n took yesterday appear in a plastic bag)So I came first thing this morning to converse with you about them.  
Y/n:Fuck  
Alastor:Yes,I do believe that how this happened Sea Star.  
Y/n:It doesnt matter,I'm getting rid of it an-Ahh!(gets scooped up by Alastor)  
Alastor:You will do nonsuch thing.Do you even know when the last siren was born?Over a hundred years ago,even before you or I departed to this inferno of suffering.  
Y/n:Woohoo!Yay me!Doesnt change anything.My body my rules.And I dont want it.  
Alastor:Lets make a deal Sea Star.You keep the little miracle,and I'll give you whatever you want for the next several months,within reason of course.Like repairingthe damage to your office.You seem to set it on fire or destroy things quite often.That cant be very cheap at all.  
Y/n:(huffs)....Anything?  
Alastor:If it is in my power to do so,then yes.  
Y/n:And I just have to birth the little brat right?No trying to get me to tie the knot?  
Alastor:While I still wish for you to become my fiancee,I want you to say yes with your own lips.I wont force you to marry me because of this child.As Charlotte so often reminds me,its not the 20s or 30s anymore.So Sea Star,what do you think?  
Y/n:....I need sometime to think this through.  
Alastor:Of course Pearly,I'll give you to the end of the week.In the meantime so you dont try anything...

Alastor snaps and shadowy tendrils swirl up Y/n's arm and make a mark shaped like deer antlers.  
Alastor:This will stop you from doing anything drastic before you make your decision.Itll harm anyone who isnt myself,your son or employees,and Charlotte.  
Y/n:I wouldn't pull something behind your back since you know,but whatever.Put me down.See you in a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was orginally gonna do the Mange universe with the Hazbin concert arc but am stuck on how to write it.But I've put it off for so long,I'm starting to forget the songs I chose for the actual concert.Should I just skip to the show and do small scences of the process in between after or should I complete the whole Arc?


	55. Hazbin Boss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Hazbin Boss scenarios.I was orginally gonna post this yesterday but had to restart three times do to error and even afterwards Ao3 didnt wanna properly update it.So I saved it, deleted it and then decided to post it again after my brother got sent to school.

This is something I wrote with ChaoticZen yesterday in the comments.I put it here cuz it got kinda long and gets hard to read as the comment box thins

Charlie when she's in a relationship: ...(Looks to where Vaggie is before going straight to S.I.R.E.N. to speak with Y/N instead due to when she was a child again.)

At S.I.R.E.N.

Y/n:Sorry kiddo,you see I make a business of killing people not giving dating advice.  
Charlotte:But you've had to give your son dating advice right?  
Y/n:Any boyfriends Angie brings home eventually becomes the main ingredient to cannibal casserole.

Charlotte:(sighs and pulls out a wad of cash)I'll pay you money  
Y/n:(grabs cash)Done!Soooooo....who's the lucky guy then kid.  
Charlotte:Girl actually.  
Y/n:I have more experience in boy talk then girl talk.Hold on,is this supposed to be advice on dating or your sexuality?Cuz I'm better equipped to handle one more than the other.I had to give the latter to Tony multiple times to undo the trauma his bastard of a sperm donor did to him.  
Charlotte:Speaking of Angel,how do you think he'll take the fact that I wanna fuck his bestie with a strap so hard?  
Y/n:Damn it,like father like daughter.But dont tell Angel you wanna peg Cherri or he will shoot you.Status be damned  
Charlotte: And what if she's the one initiating it?... Y/n:He will give you the shovel talk.And I taught him how to.So he's far better at it then you.  
Charlotte:I wasnt that bad...  
Y/n:Well you did good holding a knife to my throat so I couldn't use Siren's voice but your posture was so sloppy it was all to easy to disarm you and hold you at knifepoint.  
Charlotte:Its not my fault you're Shovel talk proof

Y/n:You didnt have anything to worry about anyway since your dad and I's "relationship" is purely business.At least on my part  
Charlotte: Is that why I found Angel and Cherri with this? (holds up the drawing of Y/n & Alastor's dream wedding)  
Y/n:(blushes and tries to get the picture back)Th-that is a classified work document of S.I.R.E.N!Give it back!I could sue for unlawfully obtaining personal data you know!  
Charlotte: (casually raises an eyebrow and lets Y/n take it.) Angel gave it to me after I got him an entire designer make-up kit with Dad's card. He also said I wasn't to show it to my father either. However, I already have it saved anyway. Sooo~~~ Either you help me, oooor Dad's going to end up seeing the picture 'unintentionally'.

Y/n:That's blackmail!  
Charlotte:And...?  
Y/n:ANTHONY ANGELO RAGNO L/N YOU ARE GROUNDED!  
Angel:(comes into the office)What the fuck Chuckles?!

Y/n:Also while you're in here,Charlie wants to scissor Cherri.So you two talk about it,I'm getting lunch.

Charlotte:Wait you cant just- 

Y/n:I've been blackmailing people since before you were born kiddo.Nice try.Better pray to Lucifer that Angie doesnt have any guns with Holy bullets on him.Bye!😊(gets on phone)Hello Fish Stew Pizza?I'd like one large bacon and tuna and one medium oyster and mushroom.Put that order under 'Y/n'  
Charlotte: ...(waits till Y/n is out of range and calls her father) Hey dad, go to fish stew pizza. Yeah, I know there's a bunch of them, use your shadows and you'll find the one Y/n will be a- Hello?...(looks at her phone with a blank glare since he hung up before looking up at Anthony.)...Wanna go to the mall and get new outfits? I have dad's card.  
Angel:You think you can calm the flames of my anger with a shopping spree?!...Okay  
Charlotte:Can we call Cherri?  
Angel:I know the code to the vault where Ma keeps the Holy weapons.Its my adoption date.So dont push your luck  
Charlotte: (raises her hands in a calm surrender before shopping for hours on end with Angel and then when it's over they're in a food court with Charlie slurping a soda.)And so I thought, 'Hey since she was apparently a better 'mother' than my own, why not go to HER for advice??' (she shlumps in her chair with a huff since angel's looking at her phone with the painting of her, Y/n & Alastor holding hands in it.)

Back at the offices of S.I.R.E.N.

Y/n:(kicks open the door and walks into her office with her pizzas)Okay it is Pizza Timmm-Ahhh!Alastor why are you in my office?!  
Alastor:Well Lotte called and told me you were at Fish Stew pizza but even though I teleported to to all of them I couldn't find you.So I decided to wait when you came back. Also, I found this~ Is there something you wish to tell me sea star?~~~ (Alastor purrs as he holds up the drawing Charlie was using to blackmail Y/n with before.)  
Y/n:No!I didnt draw that!  
Alastor:You signed it at the bottom Sea Star

Y/n:Alastor get that ring away from me(slaps the ringbox out of his hands)Get out!(presses the emergency Alastor button)Why the fuck isnt anyone coming?!  
Alastor:When I got here,Husker and Niffty said they were going on their lunch break too.

When Charlotte and Angel get back  
Charlotte: (blinks hearing all the noise in the office before looking to Angel.)Sooo... We just gonna drop our stuff off at our own homes then?  
Angel: YyyyuP.

Later back at Y/n and Angel's appartment

Angel:Sounds like you and Smiles had fun  
Y/n:Looks like you and Charlotte had fun.Which os good since it's all you're gonna have.Phone and S.I.R.E.N. company credit card,now.Youre grounded for a month  
Angel:What?!  
Y/n:No complaining or I'll make it two.Now you can start your punishment by running me a bubble bath.My whole body is sore.  
Angel:Is that a hickey?  
Y/n:Go!

~A day Later~

Charlotte: Hey dad?  
Alastor: Yes, Lotte?~  
Charlotte: Can you help me bust Angel out of his grounding for a day to chill out here?  
Alastor:Okay!But you'll have to stay out of the house for at least 24 hours  
Charlotte:Are you in rut?You know...I dont even wanna know...Just keep Y/n from Angel.

Later

Alastor:Oh Pearly~(scoops up Y/n)I've come to devour you!  
Y/n:Uh,literally or sexually?Cuz I think I'd rather you do the former.  
Alastor:(laughs)Oh Sea Star,you're so funny.Now let's get busy we have a long 24 hours ahead of us.

Y/n:Hold on a second,did you say 24?!  
Alastor:No time to hold onto any second!(teleports to his bed)

At Y/n and Angel's appartment  
Charlotte: (opens Angel's window and hops down.)Ready for a chill day? The spa's have a special going on.  
Angel:Cant I'm grounded.  
Charlotte:I've had your mother taken care of.I cant go home tonight so we can stay at a hotel tonight too.

Angel:I'm almost too scared to ask what ya did.But if Y/n finds out I'm not home shes ground me for the rest of my afterlife.  
Charlotte:She'll be so out of it I doubt she'll even notice you're not a work let alone in your room.Dad is keeping her busy for at least 24 hours  
Angel:Let's go.I'm still gonna have a mom ta come home to right?Smiles ain't gonna kill her right?

Charlotte:Maybe. I honestly doubt he'd allow himself to, though considering how much he's been trying to get her to marry him. (casually gets her Dad's card ready.)Also, I don't get why she's in so much of a denial. I mean, my dad likes her and she likes him, yet she's acting like it's a hassle. (she looks to Angel as they head to the fancy spa.) Any idea on why with your end?  
Angel:Might have something ta do with Vox.Even though she dont work for him no more ocassionally she does favors for money.Not sexual favors mind you.Most the time its guest starring in a show or playing a singing part.He dont know Ma is fucking Big Bad Voodoo Daddy but hed probably stop if he did.That money is how we pay the rent for S.I.R.E.N. when business is slow  
Charlotte: ...Doesn't she realize dad would probably be happy to help her out with that? Or is it some type of 'pride' thing?  
Angel:Both of our parents are stubborn fucks.Ma is fine sleepin for the book since not alot people have one but she ain't no day hooker.Shes not gonna sleep around for money and that's all she thinks your pops is after.A good fuck since Vagatha obviously wasnt doing it for him.She already got sacked from a job that had us made in the shade cuz an Overlord wanted was sex.

Charlotte: (frowns and hums)Okay, yeah. I get it now. Hell, if Dad weren't so constantly horny or tried to fuck her so much, maybe she'd give him a shot. Anyway, enough of this shit. It's time to get pampered! (Happily walks into the spa with Angel and relaxes as they're both pampered and waited on)

Vagatha:What does that bottom feeding siren have that I dont?!  
Alastor:Well Y/n is a Milf.  
Vagatha:I said what makes us different  
Alastor:Y/n is a mother I'd like to fuck.And I do.You on the other hand,I dont. 

Vagatha:(screeching)

Y/n,Angel and Charlotte are cosplaying pokemon characters.Angel is Gladion,Charlotte is Lillie ,and Y/n is Lusamine.Fat Nuggets is also in on the fun,hes spray painted blue and covered in glitter to look like Nebby.

Angel:All the red is clashin with my fluff  
Charlotte:(lifts the Hat out of her eyes)Damn the stupid floppy hat!  
Y/n:(puts hand on chest)Well I look Fabulous! Charlotte:Wheres Dad?

Alastor who is dressed as Guzma comes over doing the team skull dance as he walks.  
Alastor:Its the hated Boss who beats you down and beats you down and never let's up.Wanna see destruction in human form?Here it is,ya boi Guzma! Charlotte:Kill me now  
Y/n:Hahahha!I thought you were gonna dress up as Mohn!This is hilarious!(wipes tear from laughing)  
Alastor:I think someone is forgetting I'm not a force to be reckoned with.Maybe tonight I'll remind you when I destroy your pu-  
Y/n snaps and silences him before Alastor can go on a sexual rant.

Y/n:Our kids are here! 

Alastor:(tries to say something )  
Y/n:(waves her hand and breaks the silencing seal)  
Alastor:That's the first time you've called them Our Children,Sea Star

S.I.R.E.N. crew +Alastor and Charlotte at the beach Husk is sleeping curled up on a Beach blanket,Niffty is making sand castles with Alastor helping her make it tall,Angel and Charlotte are eating ice cream,and Y/n is resting on a beach chair under an umbrella with a towel wrapped around her legs

Angel:Hey Al!Ya know how sirens' legs turn into tails when they get in water?  
Alastor:Yes..?  
Angel:Well Ma doesnt wear swimsuit bottoms cuz of that.So theres nothing under that to-(Alastor runs off)And hes gone.  
Charlotte:I haven't seen him run that fast since he chased Y/n after proposing.

I orginally had more but NotBrooke and the others already got shit for doing something similar.I ain't dealing with that.So no steamy scence for you.

Vox is in Y/n's office asking for a favor

Vox:So this isnt the usual part as an extra or singing role on the side.Im rebooting Love Love Sayu and I'm starting it off with a bang with a big movie comeback. Y/n:But you need an actual siren,not that hussy you replaced me with.Or else it'll crash and burn like the show did when you sacked me.Speaking of which how is Valentino?  
Vox:(grumbles)...Yes.Do we have a deal or what?  
Y/n:Sounds nice an all,but I'll have to think about it.I'll call you,now get out.Ive got an important meeting and they'll be here any minute.And unlike you the actually scheduled an appointment.  
Vox:I doubt there is anyone who would come here that's a bigger deal than me.  
Alastor:(comes in the room)Oh Pearly I-

Vox and Alastor:What is HE doing here?! 

Y/n:Well this is awkward....

Continuation of the end of last chapter It's been a week and Y/n is going to tell Alastor of her decision about the little parasite growing in her.

Alastor:Why hello Sea Star!Have you reached a decision? 

Y/n:Yeah but I've got some conditions if I'm gonna go through with this.  
Alastor:Of course Sea Star.  
Y/n:(pulls out a paper)First of all you've gotta pay the rent for S.I.R.E.N. and my appartment.Im not gonna have Tony and I be on they streets cuz I cant work.And I'll be double damned if my company falls after all the blood,sweat,tears and other bodily fluids,mainly that last one,into keeping it alive because of your spawn.

Alastor:That's acceptable,I was going to suggest that myself.  
Y/n:Second,nobody can know about this.No one!If word gets out Velvet is gonna be the first to find out and tell Vox.And I dont need him up my ass.  
Alastor:I will be telling Charlotte about this eventually.Your son already knows.  
Y/n:He made me take the stupid pregnancy tests!

Alastor:But other than that I wont tell.The aristocrats tend to gossip and while Vagatha is no longer married to me,I'm afraid she might try something if she found out you were pregnant so soon after her departure.

Y/n:Yet you asked me to marry you before the divorce papers were even finalized.Next is you've gotta help me with whatever weird siren shit happens cuz from what I know it's only gonna get worst than it already has.That means buying the baby and maternity stuff,paying for damages caused by any power surges the little shit will have,supplying me with enough food.Im not gonna have to eat half the circle of Pride cuz I'm being starved to second death.

Alastor:I would never let you be hungry,Sea Star.Regardless of whether you were carrying my child.Any other conditions?

Y/n:Lastly,and this is important.You have to stay committed to this.You cant just dump all of this on me cuz you got bored halfway.  
Alastor:Do you really think so little of me?  
Y/n:Look,Husk said if I was really gonna do this we should shake on it.Whatever happens this next,well not nine months cuz it's already been 2 months.Seven months then,you cant just quit on me or I will get rid of it.Maybe feed the fetus to your gators or cook it into a cannibal casserole.

Alastor:Very well.If that's all I have a few terms as well.First,you must not do anything that could be detrimental to the child's wellbeing.I know in your work it can be a bit dangerous,but do be careful before your maternity leave.Secondly you must continue to wear my mark so I can be there incase something does go wrong or you're simply not taking proper care of yourself.If you refuse you must move in with me until the end of your pregnancy.  
Y/n:Ugh...Fine,I'll keep your creepy tattoo.  
Alastor:Then I believe we have a deal,Sea Star(puts out glowing hand.)  
Y/n:Deal(shakes hand)


	56. We wreck shit in the Classic Dimension! Part 1

Okay to kinda organize a line of events,  
In the Mange Au this Y/n is from the first timeline where she moves into the hotel.The Hazbin Concert has happened(even though I haven't wrote it yet)as her and Angel's song is her ringtone for him.  
With Sirenix,Alastor has summoned their Netherzone baby but they haven't made their deal to take out Valentino yet.  
With Swap ,she and her Alastor have had their first date(which I also still haven't wrote the second half of) but before they break up and Y/n broadcast her murder spree  
In ShowSwitch:The pilot and first two episodes(again something I haven't gotten to.Okay I get it ,I have alot of loose ends to wrap up!)along with the proposal,beating up Vagatha while singing Shiny,taking care of young Charlotte and giving her dating advice has happened.But this is before the heat and baby arc.

Notes:  
Also the nicknames the Y/ns are going by  
Mange:Mange,Princess,Rockstar,Princess Y/n  
Sirenix:Sirenix,Nix,Nixie  
Swap:Siren Queen,Queen,Queenie,little miss Overlord ,Swap  
ShowSwitch:Switch,Switchy,S.I.R.E.N  
Classic:Y/n, Classic,Vanilla

Chapter Text  
The Y/ns after talking to each other about their dimensions.

ShowSwitch:And you people think my dimension is weird.(turns to readers not Y/n,You)Yeah that's right,YOU!All you fuckers who thought my Au was weird when AngelBoots did my Meet the Au!(Gets bonked on the head by Swap's trident)Ouch!What was that for?!  
Swap:Please refrain from breaking the fourth wall too much.And from upsetting our readers.We need those.  
ShowSwitch:Whatever....I still wanna throw hands with this "I.M.P"  
Sirenix:Walls aside,I still cant believe you're together with Antlers, like together together,and haven't railed the radio demon yet.  
Mange:At least he hasn't known of your existence long enough to do half the creepy things mine has.  
Classic:We're working to get there.Alastor is opening up to it but he needs some more time.  
ShowSwitch:Just enjoy your V-card while you can kid.If your Alastor is as much of a horndog as mine hes gonna want to go at it almost every hour of every day. And considering you live in the same building,he definitely will.  
Classic:Oh boy....  
Sirenix:Chill Vanilla,the first time isnt so bad.Then again,Angel went easy on purpose.  
ShowSwitch:Shut Up!(covers ears)I dont wanna here about any version of myself doing It with any version of my son!

ShowSwitch:Welcome Al,to the 'We hate Vox club!Our members include Me,myself and I. And Y/n.(gestures to herself then Swap,Sirenix and then Mange.)Queenie over there will give you your jacket and your complimentary liver smoothie.

Angel:(looking at this phone)Damn it!  
ShowSwitch:What wrong Angie?  
Angel shows his phone with a selfie Cherri posted on Voxtagram.It shows her setting off several explosives with a detonator.Several egg Bois go flying in the explosion.  
Angel:Cherri is out there having fun with out me!I wanna go,but after the last time when 666 news filmed it Vaggie and Chuckles have limited my time with Cherri.Theyd never let me out if they knew I was gonna go fight.  
Sirenix:Ugh...stupid moth bitch always ruining everyone's fun...Fuck 'em let's sneak out.

ShowSwitch:I usually leave you and Cherri to your own devices in my dimension,after all who want their mom with them when they're raising Cain across Hell?But I'm not in my Au and I'm down for pegging that snake's ego in any world.I'll use Siren's voice to take mouthy and Princess out of commission and catch up later.Charlotte and Vagatha already hate me in my dimension so I dont really care if they do here.Well,Vagatha hates me,Charlotte...dislikes me.Which is fair,I'm sleeping with her dad for his magic book and favors after all.

ShowSwitch distracts and sings in the room Charlie and Vaggie are in and puts them in a trance,accidentally getting Husk too.Meanwhile Sirenix and Angel sneak out the window and go to join Cherri.

Sirenix:Ugh....Angie can I borrow one of your sweaters?I dont care if I gotta wear it as a dress.Vanilla doesnt have any sort of style.  
ShowSwitch:I'd ask to if it wouldnt be awkward.Sweats...are you for real Classic?I dont even wear those for laundry day!I just wear a robe.  
Y/n Mange:So wearing nothing but a robe around your son is better than asking a version of himself for clothes?  
ShowSwitch:I'm covered up,Princess.But seriously we need to get clothes for however long where gonna be stranded here.I'll be double dead before I ask Vagatha for clothes.  
Vaggie:Its Vaggie  
ShowSwitch:Whatever,Charlotte's wont fit me  
Charlie:Its Charlie  
ShowSwitch:Yeah,yeah.And I dont like wearing Alastor's clothes.There always big,he gets possessive when I wear them,and ends up tearing them off before I can leave....And they always have an underlying smell of blood and that makes me hungry.  
Swap:Well I dont need to purchase any clothing!(snaps and her dress is replaced with a new one)  
Mange:Well we all cant pull costume changes in a split second.Charlie,can you call up Razzle and Dazzle to drive us to the mall.  
Charlie:Okay,I'll give you guys my credit card.  
Mange:No need,I stole Dad's credit card last time I saw him.(Pulls out Lucifer's Holy Platinum card)  
Charlie:How did you?!  
Mange:A girl has her ways.

Later at the mall  
Classic,ShowSwitch,Sirenix and Y/n Mange went through different stores and got new clothes.Afterwards they are at the food court talking.  
ShowSwitch:And so he keeps going on with his fancy rich people talk while I'm trying not to get fucked in the ass by this crazy bitch with a shotgun!So I agree to his stupid "fuck a month for the book" rule not thinking about it cuz I'm trying not to get a bullet in between my eyes and-  
Velvet:Oh.My.LuciferThere four of you now!Are they clones?!  
Classic:Oh,its just you Velvet.  
Mange:Hey Vel.  
Sirenix and ShowSwitch:Velvet.  
Velvet:Sooooo...?!  
Sirenix:(sighs)Long story short,that quack scientist at the hotel made some stupid invention that opens portals to other dimensions and pulled us and one other (gestures to herself,ShowSwitch and Y/n Mange)out of ours.  
Velvet:Oohhh!I've gotta tell this to Val and Vox!  
Classic:There here with you?  
Velvet:Yeah,I actually ran from them when I saw you all.So they're probably trying to see where I went.(Raises her phone)Smile for the selfie!  
Sirenix:So much for a break from Val...  
Mange and ShowSwitch:Ugh....Vox...  
Speak of the Devil  
Vox:There you are Velvet!Why fuck did you run off?!

To be continued......


	57. High Adventure No Angel not that kind of 'high'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by some of Disneyfanatic2364's mlp disney videos on youtube.

When Charlie is grounded and stuck at Mange castle

Y/n:What are we gonna do,storm the palace?!  
Vaggie:Yes!Storm the palace!  
Y/n:Wait I didn't mean-  
Angel:That's the spirit!  
Vaggie:Who's up for a little high adventure?!First,we're gonna need weapons!  
Y/n:Weapons! Couldn't we send a strongly worded letter?  
Angel:Seriously  
Vaggie:(looks at Razzle and Dazzle)Maybe I can convince these guys to work out a trade.

Angel:Convince those guys, my lord and master  
Vaggie:That's what I'm doing Angel.  
Angel:Well, do it faster, let's be gone

Razzle and Dazzle bring out the hotel's emergency calvary and place a bunch of holy weapons on the ground.  
Vaggie:Alright,everyone choose a weapon.  
Y/n:I should be going...  
Angel:In wasting time we court disaster  
Vaggie and Angel:Pick up that sword and strap it on

Angel hands Y/n an angel sword from the pile.She absentlymindedly takes it out of it sheath.  
Y/n:You see I hate weapons is-(Looks at the sword)This thing is AWWESOOME!

Vaggie:Fate blows her kiss  
Chills your heart  
Takes your hand

Y/n:Fate feels like this  
Play your part  
This was planned

Angel,Vaggie and Y/n:And lo, before you know  
You grab your horse, you grab your gear  
Your moment's now, your moment's here  
It's time for high adventure  
You're off and riding, sabre flashing  
Your banner high, your molars gnashing  
You feel so dashing on a high adventure  
Get set to give some guy a thrashing  
Y/n:(karate noises)  
Vaggie,Angel,Y/n:Cause high adventure's in the air

Vaggie:To the Palace!  
Angel:To the palace!  
Y/n:To the Palace!

The three get ready and go over their plan.

Vaggie:There's high adventure in the air, guys  
Someone's out there, guys, someone bad(points to Lucifer on the family portrait)

The three leave the hotel and go out the hotel door.Razzle and Dazzle open the limo door and let's them inside.  
Y/n:Are we there yet?  
Vaggie and Angel:No  
Y/n:Are we there yet?  
Angel and Vaggie:No  
Y/n:Are we there yet?  
Angel:We're not moving!!

Vaggie singinals for the limo to start moving so Y/n will shut up.

Y/n:He's got a damsel in despair, guys  
Heck, that's not fair, guys, and I'm mad!  
Angel:Get it Y/n,yeah!

Vaggie:Fate blows her kiss  
Winks her eye  
Plots her scheme  
Angel,Y/n and Vaggie:Plots it for Angel Dust, Y/n, and Vaggie  
And so  
We three will go  
Until it's through  
Until it ends  
Here comes Charlie's only friends  
Off on a  
High, High ,High, adventure!

The limo arrives at the gates of Mange Manor and the three get out and take out the guards before they can inform Lucifer they're there.

Y/n,Vaggie,Angel:To confrontations so exciting  
They're playing music while we're fighting(Angel turns on Hellphone playlist)  
Scratching and biting on a  
High!High!High!Adventure  
Feel that adrenaline igniting  
'Cause high adventure's in the air

The three continue to fight the guards surrounding the palace.They scale up the walls and enter through a window  
Vaggie,Y/n and Angel:(whisper sing) Four pals,like sisters and a brother.Her and 3 others.Angel Dust, Y/n,Charlie ,Vaggie.  
They start opening doors trying to find Charlie's room.Angel accidentally opens the door where the guards take their lunch break in.They pick up their swords and surround the three sinners.  
Vaggie:Y/n do the thing!  
Y/n:(deep breath)HIGH!HIIGHH!HIIIIGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

Y/n's loud singing stuns the guards and the soundwave throws them into the wall.They quickly leave and Angel then locks the door form the outside.They walk down the hall a little more and come to a fancy looking door.They open it but instead of Charlie are a few of Lilith's Succubi and Inccubi.  
Succubus:Hi~  
Incubus:Hi💖  
Another succubus:Hi😘(winks)

Vaggie and Y/n leave,then come back to drag Angel out with them.

Angel,Y/n, Vaggie:Adventure!  
One more time, it's  
High adventure  
Heigh-ho, the stallions are stampeding  
With Satan's wisdom ever leading  
Y/n:(holds up a finger that got cut while fighting)My finger's bleeding!  
Vaggie:Well, that's high  
Y/n:High  
Angel:High  
Angel,Y/n, Vaggie:High adventure  
What we've collectively been needing  
Is high adventure in the air

Hark! Something calls like a dream from afar  
Calls out to Angel Dust, Vaggie and Y/n  
It's - wait! - the voice of fate  
It calls to me, it calls to me it calls to you  
, Charlie, and the crew, off on a  
High!High!Hiighh! Adventure  
Danger to danger we go flying!Completely unafraid of  
Vaggie and Angel:dying  
Y/n:What?!  
Angel and Vaggie:Y/n, stop crying  
Vaggie,Angel and Y/n:this is High adventure  
There's no ignoring or denying  
The kind of thrills that it's supplying  
And the effect's electrifying  
When high adventure's in the aaaiiirrrrrrr~

They finally get to Charlie's room and kick the door down.  
Angel:Weve come to spring you out of Princess Jail Chuckles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all probably know that the 3rd episode of Helluva was put on youtube a couple of hours ago.Ibe got a couple of ideas what I wanna do with it so here are your options,I can do it in the Mange universe or the Hazbin Boss ShowSwitch Universe.I'll give you guys till the 4th to decide as I'll post it the next day.Either way though it will be written for Hazbin Boss but depending on what you vote on depends on what goes first.If you vote for it to happen on the 5th,I'll have to rush out Murder family and Loo Loo Land,which I've only layed out half of the former and none of the latter.Or I can do them out of order.Its up to you guys


	58. Y/n Mange Rock vs Pop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do both of the different au versions of Spring Broken.The Mange Au is going first.This is canon to both the first and second timeline as 2nd Y/n Mange did hire I.M.P. to kill Kyle's father and take her to the human world.  
> Also warning,this takes place after the hazbin concert as the song Angel and Y/n wrote as some of you may guessed,is this dimension's version of Addict.

Blitzo:Okay,new plan!Loonie will lure the humans to us and we'll take care of the rest.I'll even cash a favor from everyone's favorite royal to fuck with that drunk Succubitch.Not literally,wording Blitzo,wording..(pulls out Hellphone and starts texting) 

Meanwhile with Y/n  
Y/n is in her room rearranging her guitars on their rack.

Y/n:Okay,Showstopper goes here,Marcy there,Eden should be over there,Wild Pyre let's put you-(Hellphone dings)Ugh....That better not be Alastor.Wait he cant text me.This better not be Dad.  
Y/n quickly puts Wild Pyre in her place and grabs her phone.Instead of Lucifer the text is from Blitzo. Blitzo:Hey Princess,Verosika Mayday is working at the building I.M.P is in and the two bit whore stole my parking space and violated Moxx.So I challenged her to a bet.We nees to kill more people than she and her deviants can fuck.And if that slutty bitch decides to play dirty,I need someone who can easily drown out her banshee shrieking.You in?  
Y/n:Verosika....(texts Blitzo back that she'll be there and then calls Vox)Vox,concert human world,today.I dont care about that stupid harlot's concert up there!I want a concert on that beach or I'll tell mom and Dad about that time you and Val made me record voice lines for that Sayu Sex Doll!Now get to work!(accidentally crushes her phone in her hand)Damn it not another one.Razzle!Dazzle!  
Razzle and Dazzle run up to Y/n in an instant.Razzle holds out a pillow with a new Hellphone which she takes.  
Y/n:Thanks Razzle,please get my costume ready.Dazzle hair and make up. 

Later after Verosika starts her concert  
Blitzo:God damn it!She started her goatish mating call!We need to step it up.Im calling in the cavalry(calls Y/n)Yeah princess,we need that back up.So bust out the big guns!  
In Hell Y/n gets off her call with Blitzo and puts her phone in her pocket.  
Y/n:Okay people we are moving out!Remember to put on your human disguises before you go through the portal(gesture to the large portal Vox has opened ) 

Charlie:I cant believe we're going to the human world!I wanna know what your human disguises will look like!Oh what will mine look like?!I cant wait!(changes into human form)Well how do I look?! 

Vaggie:Well.... 

Y/n:Literally nothing is different except your checks aren't red and you have yellow irises instead of Sclera. Charlie:Awww...  
Vaggie:I think you look great hun.  
Charlie:Thanks Vaggie.Now your turn!Show me!Show me!(shakes Vaggie in excitement)  
Vaggie:Calm down,it no big deal. 

Vaggie changes is human form looking very much like she did when she was alive.Her hair is dark brown but still retains the pink at the edges.Her skin is tan and her eyes are brown and she has both of them again.  
Charlie:Vaggie,look at you!  
Y/n:Not bad,Vegan.  
Vaggie:Its Vaggie.  
Y/n:Whatever.Who's next?  
Niffty:I wanna try! 

Niffty's human form heightens her her up about a foot and a half so she doesnt look Kiddie sized.Her hair is more of a subdued orangish red and she now has two hazel eyes instead of her singular large one.Her skin is peachy and her cheeks rosy.Her sharp teeth remain. 

Niffty:Look how tall I am!  
Angel:But shes still short.  
Husk:Shush.Dont ruin this for her.  
Niffty:Husk you've gotta go next!  
Angel:Yeah,Husky let me see what ya look like behind all that fur~  
Husk:(sighs and transforms) 

Husk has pale skin like his white fur and black and white spiky hair slicked back.Two spikes stick out slightly like cat ears.His eyes are yellow and his pupils are narrowed like cats' eyes.His fangs are still visible. And hes actually fully dressed,black pants,shoes and best with a white dress shirt underneath.Good thing or hed be naked.Angel is disappointed by that fact though.  
Angel:Shame ya put on clothes or I could have really seen everything~Oh well,guess I'm next. 

Angel's human form surprises everyone abit.His eye that usually has his black sclera is a completely empty socket.All of his fluff is gone so his chest no longer looks like boobs but rather he has slender but muscular abs.His hair is now blonde instead of white but the pink remains.His gold tooth is gone but his sharp teeth are still there.His remaining eye has his pink iris.His skin is olive and his face is dotted with freckles on his checks. 

Angel:Damn it...I was hopin my eye wouldnt be fucked up.(closes eyelid and covers it up with his bangs) Alastor:You look slightly less like a prostitute.Only slightly.  
Angel:Aw,Smiles that's the nicest thing you've said to me.  
Alastor:Dont make me take it back.  
Cherri:Alright Angie,you've had your turn.Now its Cherri Time! 

Cherri has peachy skin with a light tan.Her hair is strawberry blonde.She once again has two eyes are green but both have small x's instead of pupils.The pointy teeth also stay on Cherri.  
Angel:Lookin good Cherri!  
Y/n:Alright Al,bring it out.  
Alastor:We really must work on your phrasing,darling. Y/n:Just change already you big baby! 

Alastor's form isnt much different.He skin isnt gray but is pale.His eyes border copper and red.His hair is a bit too bright to call Auburn.His monocle is replaced by glasses with red lenses.  
Alastor:Now I believe it's your turn,dear.  
Y/n:You'll see it on stage,calm down lover boy.  
Vox comes over in his human form.His skin is dark and his eyes are blue that seems to glow.  
Vox:Alright come on.I cant keep this fucking thing up forever.Youre the one who wanted this.  
Y/n:Alright we're coming.Fucking slave driver.

Blitzo is being an overprotective dad trying to keep Loona away from Vortex  
Loona:Blitzo get out of here!You're gonna get us all into shit!  
Blitzo:I was just seeing what took you away from your job.  
Loona:What,I cant take a break?!  
Blitzo:We have a parking spot on the line!  
Vortex:Dude why dont you just calm down?  
Blitzo:Butt out of this!This is our business,literally(uses tail to show plan)And since your not putting in the work I had to call back up.  
Loona:What backup? 

From the other side of the boardwalk is another stage,much larger than Verosika's.It has elevated platforms and a long catwalk.Music starts to play as pink lights and smoke turn on.  
Y/n:Till death do us part~But were already pass that phase🎶  
Blitzo:(looks at stage)That backup  
Loona:(hands Vortex a pair of NSR earphones)Put these on quick.  
Back on stage Y/n rises on the elevated platforms and walks through the smoke.Her human form is still tall but her demon features are missing.She's wearing a hot pink halter dress with a sweetheart neckline ,rhinestones and tulle layered skirts.White stockings and silvery heels cover her legs and feet.Attached to a strap is pink and black guitar shaped like a cupid arrow.His name is Eros,a gift from Asmodeus.

Y/n:This is a brand new start🎵And I think I deserve some praise🎶For the way that I Aaaaaammmmmm~  
Despite having overdosed and ending up comatose(runs finger past her nose and then puts a hand on her forehead.)I dont give a Ddaaaaaammnnnn~(holds arm towards the audience and starts walking down the catwalk.)I've let my emotions go,done being a sober hoe(plays chords on Eros)This my mantra, this is my life~You're playing with now till the end of the night🎵Surrounded by fire🔥The passion ignites~A hit of that Heaven and Hell😈A helluva Hiiigghh!  
The pyrotechnics go off on stage and people start to crowd around the stage including from Verosika's concert.A few crazed fans try to get on stage but they're grabbed by shadows or tentacles.Theyre dragged to Alastor who puts them in his microphone to eat later.

Verosika:Is that Y/n Mange?!What is she doing here?!

Y/n:I'm addicted to the madness🎵This hotel is my Atlantis~We're forever gonna have a fucking reason to sin(clenches a fist)Let me leave my soul to burn 🔥and I'll be breathing it in🎶

Y/n breathes in the pink and golden mist coming from the audience.Her eyes glow blue and her demon form flashes through the illusion for a moment.She then starts walking back towards the elevated platforms.  
Y/n:I'm addicted to the feeling~Getting higher than the ceiling🎵And we're never gonna want this fucking feeling to end🎶Just concede and give into your inner demons again😈  
The platforms raises up high in the air as she sings.When it stops Y/n swan dives off and is rides the mist.As the instrumental break plays Millie and Moxxie start killing their targets while their entranced by Siren's voice.  
With Blitzo,Loona and Vortex  
Blitzo:That whore can prance on that stage till shes blue in the face but no succubus,not even Lilith can out sing a siren.Not that I'd have to resort to this if somebody was leading our targets so we can off them like she supposed to be doing.  
Loona:Fuck Blitzo!Why cant you stay out of my face for five minutes?!  
Blitzo:Because I adopted you!And that should mean something!  
Loona:Oh what does it matter?!You're not my real dad!I was almost 18!  
Blitzo:It still counts!  
Loona:Well it shouldn't! I didnt need you then,asshole!I dont now.  
Loona angrily turns around and misses the hurt look on Blitzo's face.

While Moxxie is loading a crossbow a drunken teen knocks over the table they were hiding behind and Moxxie is seen.  
Woman: Ewww! Oh my god! It’s a fucking possum!  
Moxxie: Oh, crumbs!(tries to get away)  
Moxxie is grabbed by the tail and shoved in a beer barrel and shook and tossed around as the group of drunk beach goers carry him off.

Loona: Uh...Blitz...I...  
Blitzo: (crosses his arms)Enjoy your break, Loonie. I’m gonna go kill something.(points to himself then storms off hurt and angry)  
Loona: Uh.  
Vortex: Damn, girl. That was savage. You okay?(puts a hand on Loona's shoulder to comfort her)  
Loona: (blushes)Yeah, I’m fine. He’ll get over it. He always does.(frowns and looks in the direction Blitzo went off too)  
Vortex: I’m glad you could stick up for yourself, at least. Hmm. Takes guts.  
Loona: Thanks.(brushes her hair out of her face smiling before looking away frowning in remorse)

Back on stage  
Y/n:Yeah you fell in love❤ But you feel deeper in this pit🎶  
Y/n is put back on the stage by the mist.A fan grabs her leg but before Alastor can do anything,she kicks them in the face.Chester grabs them before the hit the sand though and drags them to Alastor.  
Y/n:While death rains from above(raise a arm)so count your blessings cuz this is it(Looks Verosika dead in the eye)You're not letting it gooooooo~So what if I misbehave?Its what everybody craves🎵(keeps eye contact)You already knooooow~So come if you're feeling brave and fancy yourself a mate 🎶You want it I got it.Come see what you like~We could have it all by the end of the night🎵Your money and power(hold out arm)My sinful delight~(pulls arm back and places hand on chest)A hit of that Heaven and Hell a Helluva hiiigghhhhhhhh(strikes the chord on Eros)

Millie finds where the teens abandoned the barrel with Moxxie and tips it over.Moxxie flows out with the rest of the beer,his face flushed bright magenta.  
Millie:Moxxie!  
Moxxie:(drunkenly)Millie!When did ya get four heads?I wanna kiss 'em.(makes grabby hands and smoochie faces)  
Millie picks Moxxie of the ground.A geyser of water comes out behind them as the fish mutated by Verosika's Beezlejuice.It comes onto the beach and roars.Humans and demons alike stare in shock at the monster.The fish monster steps on a beach goer lying on a towel,crushing him and splattering his blood on the surround crowd.This snaps them out of their shock and they start running and screaming.  
Moxxie:Hehe.Fish.(gets grabbed by fish monster's tongue)  
Millie stabs a guy drinking and takes his shirt and bottle of alcohol to make a molotov cocktail.She throws it at the fish demon.It loses its balance and stumbles back.Millie then goes and uses her knife to climb up to its mouth.She prays it open and sees Moxxie punching the tongue wrapped around him.She reaches out her hand but still drunk,Moxxie high fives her.Millie reaches again and grabs his hand.She then cuts the tongue which makes the fish monster close its mouth.Moxxie is sent flying and lands in Blitzo's arms.A remaining human just barely manages not to get hit by the tongue and celebrates.Only to get shot by Blitzo.Millie is still inside the monster's mouth punching what's left of the tongue.

Moxxie:(tail makes heart shape)I love that woman  
Blitzo:She totally pegs you doesnt she?  
The creature spits her out and Millie raise her knife letting it swallow her.She then cuts herself out and makes her way tiredly to the surface.  
Blitzo:Way to show off Mil!  
Millie:Is Mox okay?!  
Blitzo:(looks at Moxxie before dropping him)Yeah hes fine.  
Millie grabs Moxxie and holds him close.  
Moxxie:This is so funny...I'm so...Drinking?  
Millie:(giggles and hugs Moxxie)  
Blitzo:Okay this is getting too wholesome.  
Verosika:Blitzo!  
Blitzo:Oh perfect.That must be the whores!  
Verosika:That was handled tather... obviously,dont you think?  
Millie:(hold up flask)I dont think this belonged to any of us(throws the flask at Verosika who catches it before dropping it into one of her Succubi's hands.)It would be a shame if anyone found out you were behind a giant monster attack in the human world  
Moxxie:(laughs)Oh Satan!Y'all gonna be so...FAUCKED!  
Verosika:Yeah..Well you nasty ass gremlins will be in shit for not wearing diguises!  
Moxxie:(faceplants but raise his head back up)A human called me a possum...I am Not a possum!  
Blitzo:(pushes Moxxie back with his foot)We could put this little B movie plot on the down low if you let us use that parking space  
Y/n:No need.Everyone in Hell saw that train wreck,right Vox?  
Vox,Velvet and Val come up.Val and Vel are still in human form while Vox is back into his demon one.  
Vox:Every station,every channel.I showed it all.(face shifts to show the monster rampaging on the beach)  
Velvet:And I've posted so many pictures!Its trending!  
Vox:You're absolutely fucked Verosika.No amount of fame-  
Val:Or dick sucking  
Vox:Can save you right now.No one in their right mind would put their neck out for you right now.  
Y/n:That's right,I wonder who would be responsible for punishing you Mom cuz you're a succubus or Uncle Beel since it's his alcohol you dumped in the ocean?Honestly you might be better off with Beelzebub.Mom never shows mercy in her punishments.  
Verosika:But-I...What about them?!(points to I.M.P.) They were in public without disguises!  
Y/n:Vox,you still recording?  
Vox:Yeah,why?  
Y/n:I Princess Y/n Mange,pardon the imps known as Blitzo,Millie and Moxxie of the crime of showing their real forms to humans because only drunk and or high teenagers and college kids saw them and none of them GAVE A FUCK!  
Blitzo:Woohoo!Not in shit!In your face Bitch!(taunts Verosika)  
Verosika:You actually think that Lucifer is gonna let that slide?!  
Y/n's phone starts ringing and she answers it.  
Y/n:Speak of the devil....Hi daddy!You saw all that?(listening to Lucifer)Okay,if you let the pardon pass I'll come home for a week.Thank you Daddy,love you!(hangs up)Daddy passed the pardon.Thats that.Alastor!  
Alastor:Yes darling?  
Y/n:I want that fish chopped up and put in th freezer for me to eat when I get back in a week.Okay?  
Alastor:It shall be done(opens a portal and tentacles pull the fish corpse inside)I believe we should get going.  
Y/n:Thanks Al.I'll catch up with you later.I wanna see my human parents since I'm up topside.(kisses his check)  
The hazbin crew and the three V's go back to hell through the portal.  
Y/n:(looks at seething Verosika)Whats the matter slutheart?Mad I got a new bae?  
Blitzo:You two were a thing?  
Y/n:A couple years back.But like all celebrity relationships it didn't last.She never quite got over me.Mom warned me that Succubi can get addicted to people who supply them alot of sexual energy.  
Blitzo:Oh!You broke up with her?I want details!Did she cry?!Did you top?!  
Y/n:Like a baby.And if I dont let the radio demon top,what makes you think she did?  
Verosika:Enough!If we're over like you constantly tell me,theres no need to tell anyone about it!  
Blitzo:You're just mad cuz your exes get along.(calls over to Loona)Come on Loonie Toonie!Let's go park our fat fucking van in our Fat fucking space!(back to Verosika)Enjoy getting fucked whore!You're gonna wish you never cheated your way out of rehab!  
Y/n:Rehab...(yells into the portal)Charlotte Mange you better not offer a room to that bitch or so help me I will tell Dad about the time you and Vaggie fucked in his and Mom's room!  
Charlie:(sticks her head out the portal)You cant be serious?!  
Y/n:Try me  
Charlie:Fine...  
Y/n:Siblings...See ya later maybe,X O baby!💋(makes x and o with her hands and blows a mocking kiss at Verosika. Y/n then jumps into the ocean and teleports away in a water portal)


	59. ShowSwitch Hazbin Boss Murder Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay here murder family, Loo Loo land should be either the 12 or 13 and Spring broken on Valentine's day

Mrs. Mayberry (narrating): I was a good person before it all went down. I was good my entire life.

The flashback opens with a shot of a red school house. Birds fly in the background. “Learning is fun” is written on the side of the building.Mrs. Mayberry opens white curtains, revealing two birds singing on a tree branch. Inside the classroom, Mrs. Mayberry writes “Good morning!” on the blackboard

Mrs. Mayberry: Good morning!(twirls and catches her chalk in her hands) I hope you all did your homework!

Mrs.Mayberry's students nod and start singing a merry tune.A boy in the corner with a dunce hat spins his chair to face the corner.(Y/n:Such a great teacher,having a kid in a dunce hat and making him face Away from the class and the blackboard)

Class: ♫We love to do our homework and we love our teacher, too.♫  
Mrs. Mayberry: ♫And when I throw out these fun questions, you should know just what to do!♫  
Class: ♫Okay!♫  
Mrs. Mayberry: ♫Two plus six is…♫  
Class: ♫Eight!♫  
Mrs. Mayberry: ♫And good behavior’s…♫  
Class: ♫Great!♫  
Mrs. Mayberry: ♫And now it’s that part of the class when we say the time of day and date!♫  
Boy: ♫It’s nine in the morning…♫  
Girl: ♫On January 8th!♫  
Girl: ♫The sun is out smiling!♫  
Dunce boy: ♫And it’s your husband’s birthday!♫  
Class:La,lalallla,Lallalala🎵  
Mrs.Mayberry drags the chalk down the board as she realizes what day it is and frowns.She turns around towards her class

Mrs.Mayberry:Oh my stars!Stop singing Children!Hush up now!I forgot it's my husband's birthday!I didnt get him anything special!(sad puppy dog eyes)  
Girl:Maybe we can call him and sing happy birthday!

Cuts to the Mayberry house where Mr.Mayberry and a blonde woman named Martha are ripping the clothes off each other.  
Martha:I told you!We're not gonna use these(grabs the condom and throws it)

Martha threw the condom in the direction of the computer monitor and it hits the keyboard.Mrs.Mayberry and her class smile as the call goes through but are shocked at what they're seeing.  
Jarold:There?Not there...  
Martha:That's actually my asshole.But I dont care!Put it in~  
Mrs.Mayberry's face is shadowed over but it doesnt take a genius to tell she is pissed.She starts to walk to the door.  
Girl:(grabs Mrs.Mayberry's hand)Mrs.Mayberry wait!Remember what you taught us?Think before you act.

Mayberry grabs the little girl and throws her through the ceiling.The other students look in shock and disbelief at the hole as their teacher walks out the door.They run to the window when they hear a car revving up and see Mrs.Mayberry's car drive through the fence in the vague direction of her house.They go back to the computer when Mrs.Mayberry breaks down the door to her and her husband's bedroom.

Jarold:Oh shit,sweetie!What are you doing here?!  
Mrs.Mayberry:Shut up Jarold! (Shoots a gun at Martha as she screams)You scream like a bitch!

The dunce Hat boy cowers in his corner as a chainsaw starts up.Blood splatters the computer screen as the rest of the kids watch in horror.  
Jarold:Oh my god!What have you done?!She-she had a family!  
Mrs.Mayberry:We could of had a family!(points the gun at her husband)  
Jarold:Wait!No,nonono-

Mrs.Mayberry shoots him twice and even more blood covers the screen.She then turns to it and wipes the blood off realizing that she left the call on in her class and her students have just witnessed her murder two people infront of them.  
Mrs.Mayberry:Oh dear god,what have I done?!In front of you all!(cries)I'm so sorry my children!Dont forget to work on your timetables!  
Mrs.Mayberry puts the gun to her head and pulls the trigger.All the children watching faint as they watch their teacher commit suicide,overwhelmed by all the death they've seen.

Mrs. Mayberry (narrating): You do everything right in life. Play by all the rules and still get sent down here with all the Hitlers and Epsteins of the world.

The flashback ends and in the present Y/n sits in her chair with her legs propped up on her desk.Mrs.Mayberry,now a demon, paces around the office with a cigarette clutched in her hand.

Mrs.Mayberry:After one measly massacre in blind rage.So that's why I'm here.To take my revenge.  
Y/n:So was there any point of that sob story?  
Mrs.Mayberry stops pacing and looks at Y/n offended.  
Y/n:I'm just having trouble understanding the melodrama you just spat at me.  
Mrs.Mayberry hisses like a snake and crushes her cigarette in anger.Her hair turns flame-like.  
Y/n:Anyway I'm not sure you know how we operate.We take revenge on humans,and it sounds like the main cast of your soap opera of a death are all down here like you are.Boop.(boops the nose)  
Mrs.Mayberry:Not all of them.That whore survived.  
Y/n:How the fuck did she survive getting shot and then maimed by a chainsaw?  
Mrs.Mayberry:She was in a coma for several months in intensive care.There was alot of plastic surgery involved.Now that shes awake people call her a hero.

Cuts to the human world where a heavily bandaged Martha lies on a hospital bed,her husband and kids next to her.A bunch of reporters and photographers are in the room taking pictures and trying to ask Martha questions.  
Reporter lady:How does it feel to have survived such a crazy bitch?  
Martha:I just hope that sick woman finally found peace  
Reporter lady:You are so brave.Here's 2 million dollars.(hands Martha a giant check)  
Martha:Oh~Thank you!

Mrs.Mayberry:Between the talk shows and donation bullshit,she made so much god damn cash!Getting shot was the best thing to happen to her!

Martha stands at a news stand podium with bandages around her head.Reporters from the VNN hold microphones out trying to talk to her.  
Reporter:You're a hero!

Shows Martha jogging despite her remaining injuries.A woman jogging next to her recognizes her and praises her.  
Jogger:You're a hero girl!

Martha and her son are out grocery shopping.  
Son:My mama's a hero!  
Cashier woman:(leans down and smiles at the boy)She is a hero!

Martha and her husband having sex  
Ralphie:You're a hero!

An old priest stands infront of church doors,his hands folded in prayer.Martha follows his pose.  
Priest:You're a hero!

Mrs.Mayberry's former students watch as their new teacher introduces Martha as a special guest to help them deal with the trauma of witnessing an attempted murder,a murder and suicide."How to deal with trauma 101" is written on the board.  
Class:You're a hero!

Martha getting fucked in the ass by a man who is not her husband,surprise surprise.  
Random guy:You're a hero!

Back in hell  
Mrs.Mayberry:(slams her hands on Y/n's desk)She is NOT A HERO!  
Y/n:Yeah...My thoughts exactly...  
Y/n presses the button for deranged client rapidly under her desk.The other labels read more coffee,lunch break, Horny client ,I ate a client,Vox and Alastor.

Outside Y/n's office is the rest of S.I.R.E.N.Niffty is aiming a crossbow at a picture of a family held by one of Angel's arms while he plays with his Hellphone with his top 2.Around him on the wall are several pictures with arrows in them.One of Val,one of Vagatha,another with Sir Pentious and the last one of Robo Fizz.

Husk:Just shoot already Niffty.You keep hesitating,you'll end up shooting our boss's kid.  
Angel:I really feel the love Husky  
Niffty:But it's a family.When would we ever need to kill a human family?  
Husk:(shrugs)If that's what we're gettin paid to do  
Niffty:A terrible dad,maybe.(stereotypical Italian accent)Or a mob family,that's understandable.(normal voice)No offense Angel.  
Angel:I'm more offended about you're shitty accent.But ya ain't exactly wrong either.So none taken about my god awful bio family.  
Niffty:Anyway,to kill an entire seemingly innocent human bloodline?It seems abit excessive  
Angel:Hey,ya dont know their innocent!This kid probably rips the legs off spiders,this gal probably cyberbullied British kids online,the bitch probably slept with another man and that's not her husband's kid,and this creep...he definitely watches his Milf lesbian neighbors go at it.  
Niffty:Thats kinda specific  
Husk:The point is,humans do all sorts of fucked up shit.Its why all of us are even here.  
Niffty:But Husk-  
Husk:Guilty and innocent doesnt pay the rent Nift.Killin who we're paid to does.Now shoot the picture.  
Niffty:(takes aim again)Still I dont think it would hurt to be a bit more selective with our tar-

Y/n:(slams the door open)Guys I want you to meet-  
Startled Niffty launches the arrow and it ricochets around.Niffty jumps into Husk's arms when it just misses her and hits the computer on the desk.It flies through the picture and tears it out of a shocked Angel's hand.It then hits a tank of eels which wobble.Finally its caught by Y/n when it almost hit Mrs. Mayberry.

Y/n:Our newest client.That was a close one.Surprised everything is still in one piece.  
Right as she says that the eel tank tips over.They spark up and set the carpet on fire.  
Y/n:Damn it Niffty I just bought them last week!  
The crew and Mrs.Mayberry stand outside the building as the imp fire department comes out with the burnt eels that are still sparking.

Y/n:They didnt deserve this...WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOOUUNGGGG?!(sobs)  
Angel is talking to Mrs.Mayberry who is in a cab.  
Angel:And dont worry,we'll have that skank dead in 24 hours or you're kill is free.  
Husk:When we start doin that?  
Y/n:(gets up in Niffty and Husk's face)When Niffty set fire to my office IN FRONT OF A GOD DAMN CLIENT YOU DIPSHITS!NOW SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME THAT SMILEY BASTARD'S BOOK IS STILL INTACT!  
Angel:(pulls the Grimoire from the inside of his jacket)Ya mean our only way topside?Yeah,I got it.  
Y/n:And this is why you're my favorite Angie!(performs the spell)Now let's go lick some ass!  
Niffty:The expression is "kick some ass"  
Y/n:Mine is better  
Husk:Fuck....

The three sinners walk through the portal and stand infront of a cabin by the lake.Y/n and Niffty lean against the side of the house from the window.Y/n looks through the window.  
Y/n:Oh that's gotta be her(darkly chuckles)This is too easy.Niftty,you want this one?  
Niffty:Me?  
Y/n:Yeah,this is easy enough for you.Just a happy mom who just got out of the hospital.

Niffty frowns as she sees the family about to have dinner.Martha rubs noses with her husband and holds a dinner dish with a cover.  
Y/n:Ya snooze ya lose,Nift!(takes aim with the sniper rifle)And I gotcha bitch.  
Niffty:Is our targets a family?!  
Y/n:What?No,dont be such a puss.Our target is a mother,we're ruining a family.  
Niffty:Wait,cant we just-  
Y/n takes aim again when Niffty tries to take the rifle out of her hands.Y/n shoots but Niffty made her miss and hit a mirror instead of Martha.The family gasps at the gunshot and shattered mirror.

Martha:What was that Ralphie?!  
Ralphie:I dont know Martha.But whatever it was,(pulls out shotgun)its gonna be tomorrow night's dinner!  
Martha sets down the plate before pulling a glass of wine.She downs it and throws it.She then grabs her own shotgun from under the table.  
Martha:Okay kids,guns out!  
Martha's daughter pulls a shotgun from under her chair while her son lifts his hat and grabs the pistol on top of his head.  
Ralphie:Looks like we got some rabbits ta catch youngins!

Y/n:What the absolute Hell was that Niffty?!  
Niffty:I'm sorry!(tears up )They just looked so happy together!I panicked!  
Y/n:Oh grow up Niffty!Nobody is Ever innocent!From the moment you're born,you're already leeching off your mama's tits!Get over it you one eyed bitch!  
A shot blasts through the wall and hits Y/n.Her blood splatters as the bullet hits her arm.  
Y/n:Fuck!Evasive maneuvers!Go,go,go!

Husk and Y/n flee and Niffty hides in the bushes.Martha and Ralphie leap through the hole in the side of the house.The two of them split up and chase after them.Niffty lifts her head from the bushes and looks around.Before she can run,the kids grab her by her hair.

Ralphie chases Husk towards the lake shooting bullets at him.Husk flies and dodges them.He flies under the dock to hide.  
Ralphie:Where are ya lil critter?Y'all cant hide from me!  
Husk bursts out from under the pier with a knife in his hand. Ralphie swings a beer bottle but Husk moves to the side and dodges.Husk flies towards Ralphie with the knife but Ralphie throws the bottle in his wing.Husk falters and lands on the ground tucking in his hurt wing.Ralphie takes advantage of Husk's weakness and hits him on the head with the butt of his shotgun.

Niffty wakes up and gasps.She tries to move but cant because she's tied to a dead body stitched up like a chair.The two children grinning evily at her.  
Niffty:Oh hi there,little ones.Arent you adorable~  
Children:Its nice to have a new critter ta play with.  
Niffty looks around and sees human body parts and skin up on the wall.On the table in front of her is corpse with an apple in its mouth.  
Niffty:Oh my....

Y/n is running through the forest with Martha behind her.Several gunshots ring out but they miss due to Y/n using her electromagntism to make them ricochet.Y/n slides down a hill and hides behind a tree taking deep breathes.  
Martha:I know ya hurtin lil devil~  
Y/n covers her mouth and is silent as Martha walks by.  
Martha:I can help ya get rid of that pain real quick!Just come here and let Mama Martha put a bullet between your pretty little eyes~  
Y/n takes a breath of relief as Martha passes the tree shes behind.Before she can escape,her phone goes off.She scrambles to answer it before Martha hears it.  
Y/n:Alastor!Now is not a good time!  
Alastor:When is it ever a good time for you,Pearly?

Alastor is in the bathtub having a bubblebath. The entire bathroom is is decorated like a Mardi Gras parade.The tub looks more like a float than a tub.  
Y/n:What do you want?!  
Alastor:I want to follow up on our last conversation about my grimoire.  
Y/n:What did you just call me?!  
Alastor:(pops a bubble with Y/n in it)My book Sea Star~You know the one I use to do my job,which I have allowed you to use to do yours?  
Y/n's eyes widen as she hears Martha lock and load the shotgun and ducks right as she shoots.  
Martha:I can hear ya darling!  
Y/n:Shit.(runs away)

Y/n runs through the forest as Alastor continues to talk.Just barely managing to use electromagnetism to make bullets miss her.Y/n uses her hook to climb up a tree and hides in the branches.  
Alastor:Anyway,you know how I've let you borrow it so you can access the living world illegally?But I do need it back at some point.So what if we made a little deal.Favors for favors.Doesnt that sound so very enticing Sea Star?  
Y/n:Stop it with your stupid rich people talk!I'm trying Not to get fucked in my ass here!  
Y/n's heart almost stops as Martha shoots another bullet just below the branch shes on.

Alastor:Then I'll make it simple,once a month on the full moon,bring the book back to me.Followed by a night of passionate Fornication~(dips into the bubbles before rising back up)And then you can have it for the rest of the time.Sound fair my little shark?  
Y/n:Fine,Whatever!  
Alastor:Oh Sea Star~I can not wait to feel your tight pussy around my cock!And-  
Y/n cringes in digust as Alastor goes on his sexual rant.Distracted and disturbed,she doesn't hear Martha shoot another bullet.It hits the branch Y/n is on making it and her fall to the ground.Martha pins Y/n to the tree trunk by her neck with the butt of the gun.Alastor is still going on about the kinky bullshit he wants to do to Y/n in the background.  
Martha:So you're a lil devil?Come ta drag me and my kin ta Hell?Well not today Satan!

Niffty struggles in the chair trying to get free.She looks up at the window and gasps as she sees a fire being lit outside.She struggles even more to break the ropes.  
Niffty:Y/n!Husk!  
The kids grin evily as Niffty wriggles around.The girl raises a knife as she stands behind Niffty.Niffty has had enough and pushes her weight back and makes the chair land on the girl.She manages to grab the knife and cut herself free.She leaps out the window and grabs the sniper rifle left on the ground.

Y/n and Husk are tired to a giant stake.Ralphie laughs as he dumps gasoline around their feet.A grinning Martha stands nearby with a lit torch.  
Y/n:I had that fucking shot!Damn it Niffty!  
Martha:Satan,we return you're filthy creatures back ta the pits of Hell!May the root of evil be honored as we continue thy work!  
Martha throws the torch and laughs as flames flicker up the stake.Both Husk and Y/n are engulfed by the fire but remain relatively unharmed.  
Y/n:Yeah,sorry not sorry lady.This isnt how that works.Your fire is uncomfortable but it cant really kill us.I could fake it though if that what gets your rocks off.Wouldnt be the worst kink I've humored.  
Husk:(chuckles)  
Martha:Aw,well shit.I'll just shoot y'all in your loud ass mouths then!(raises the shotgun)  
Y/n:That would be more effective  
Husk:Y/n!

Martha laughs maniacally as she takes aim.Y/n and Husk close their eyes.A gunshot rings out but neither Husk or Y/n are injured.They open their eyes to see Martha's eye fly out of her socket as she falls limp to the ground.Behind her is Niffty with the rifle.  
Husk:Niffty!  
Niffty runs over to untie the two.Ralphie stumbles back and trips over his wife's corpse before booking it back to his house.

Y/n:You aren't getting paid for this shitshow Nift!  
The two are free and Nifty hugs Husk's leg.Y/n falls to the ground supporting herself with her uninjured arm.  
Y/n:Yeaahhh.Im fine!Its not like I got shot and fell out of a tree or anything!  
Niffty:(helps Y/n up)I'm sorry Y/n.I put us all in danger and almost compromised our job.I promise that I'll never do it again.  
Y/n:(hugs Niffty)Apology accepted!But if you Ever pull a stunt like this again,I will eat you alive.Now let's blow this popsicle stand and celebrate a job well done!  
Niffty:Um,I'll be right back.I left something important at the house.  
Y/n:(pulls out a spare phone and starts dialing)Hmm.Okay but hurry back the portal cant last forever.(on phone)Angie!We're ready to go home!

Niffty runs through the forest with the rifle strapped to her back.She passes Y/n's discarded phone that Alastor is still on.  
Alastor:I'll use you while you and I and (bleep)and make jelly sandwiches all night...!

Inside the house Ralphie hugs his two children.Niffty points the rifle at them.  
Niffty:Dont move a muscle!  
Ralphie:(laughs)What are ya gonna do,lil girly?!(glares)Kill us?!  
Niffty:I should!You all are monsters!But...you deserve to live your lives.Look at your children.They have their whole futures ahead of them.I will call your authorities and you will face your crimes justly.  
Niffty grabs the universal remote thinking it's a phone and turns on the tv.  
Niffty:Oops.Where is your phone to call 911?  
Ralphie:Its in the kitchen.  
Niffty:What's this thing then?  
Ralphie:Its a universal remote.Got it for the kids(pulls his children closer as they smile up at him)  
Niffty:Awww....

Niffty joins back up with Y/n and Husk in the forest after calling the police.Angel has already opened the portal back to S.I.R.E.N.  
Y/n:There she is!Have a nice masturbation session there ,Nifty?  
Niffty:...Excuse me?  
Y/n:(throws hands in surrender)I dont care where you cum in the human world,just come to your job on time(pokes Niffty on the chest)See you guys back at the office!(goes through portal)  
Husk:You okay,kid?  
Niffty:Yeah,I think I just needed to think over everything.  
Husk:(ruffles Niffty's hair)You're a good kid,Nift.You just make mistakes sometimes.(goes through portal)

Niffty is about to walk through when she hears sirens.Police cars and helicopters surround the house.  
Police:We got em boys!(launches missile)  
The house is destroyed by the missle.Niffty stares in horror at the remains of the cabin.Something hits her head and she looks down to see the little girl's teddy bear head,still smoking.Before she can process what just happened,she is pulled through the portal by Y/n.

Back in the offices of S.I.R.E.N.  
Everyone is wearing party hats and eating cake.Niffty on the other hand can only stare at the "we did it" cake,still in shock.  
Y/n:Niffty finally learned not to fuck up!  
Husk:And killing people ain't that bad if they try to kill you back.  
Mrs.Mayberry:That's fucked up.But I paid for it!  
Everyone but Niffty laughs.  
Y/n:Yeah,fuck that family!

After the party  
Y/n is putting the payment from Mrs.Mayberry in the safe,Angel is filing the rest of the paperwork,Husk is out drunk from drinking one too many bottles of cheap booze ,and Niffty has finally snapped out of her shock to clean up the decorations and trash from the party.  
Y/n:Alrighty!Its closing time!Good work out there Niffty,you didnt fuck up completely and pulled through.  
Niffty:Yeah...(cleans table harder)Thanks  
Y/n:All in all today wasnt that bad.We completed a job,got paid and now I only have to sleep with that red asshole on full moons to keep the book.  
Niffty:But today is a full moon.  
Y/n:Shit,that horny bastard knew what he was doing.Ive gotta go.Angie,(throws van keys at Angel)drive Niffty and Husk home will ya?She cant carry him all the way to their apartment.  
Angel:(catches keys)Okay,have fun getting fucked.  
Y/n:I wont


	60. ShowSwitch Hazbin Boss Loo Loo land

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright heres Loo Loo Land.Ive kept a few things the same.Like the dialouge in the fun house cuz I couldn't think of changing it.And The Loo Loo land song is the same except that its sung by Sir Pentious.

Alastor is asleep in bed when he hears Charlotte crying.  
Charlotte:Mommy!Daddy!  
Alastor:Lotte is calling us Vagatha  
Vagatha:(pulls the blankets towards her)You get up 

Alastor sighs as his shadow grabs his robe and slippers.He teleports to Charlotte's room and opens the door.  
Alastor:What's the matter my little fawn?  
Charlotte:(comes from under the covers)Daddy!I had a really bad dream!  
Alastor:(picks up Charlotte)A nightmare  
Charlotte:I couldn't find you anywhere!I looked all over the manor but you weren't here!(cries)  
Alastor:Shhh,its okay Lotte,youre alright.(telepathically teleports the book to him)When I gone and you dont know where I am,you must remember that I'll never stay far from my little Hellfire. 

Alastor uses the book to animate the shadows in Charlotte's room.They shift into shapes and stars and dance around the ceiling and walls.  
Alastor:🎵It always seems so quiet in the dark🎶 ♫ It always feels so stark ♫ How silence grows under the moon ♫ Light fades away so soon ♫ I used to think that I was bold ♫ I used to think only of fun ♫ Now all my stories have been told except for one... 

Alastor looks down at Charlotte who is staring at the shadows in awe.  
Alastor:♫ As the spirits start to align ♫ I hope you take it as a sign ♫ That you'll be okay. Everything will be okay ♫ The day you arrived the sun went black🌑  
An artificial light🎵  
You came and stole away the light🎶  
And put it in your eyes🎵  
How could I possibly suspect that you'd eclipse the midnight sun🌑  
I thought that I knew all the moons but then you pulled me back to one🎶

The shadows show Alastor holding baby Charlotte and then the Hell's eclipsed sun.

Alastor:And if all Seven Rings collapse ♫ And today could be my last ♫ You will be okay. When I'm gone you'll be okay... ♫  
The shadows change again to the silhouette of Hell that slowly falls apart.The shadows then disperse,going back in the dark from wince they came.

Alastor:♫ And when Creation goes to die ♫ You'll find me in the sky ♫ Upon the last day ♫ And you will be okay... ♫ 

Alastor tucks in a sleeping Charlotte into bed and quietly leaves the room. Fast forward to the future where Charlotte is a teenager.Shes lying in bed before shes woken by screaming.  
Vagatha:I cant believe you slept with a siren!IN OUR FUCKING BED!  
Alastor:I didnt expect it,I didnt have time to go to a motel with her!  
Vagatha:A motel?!Like a FUCKING PEDESTRIAN?! Charlotte groans and sits up.She grabs her phone and put in her headphones.  
Charlotte's phone:My world is burning down around me  
My deep despair is what surrounds me🎵  
Yeah  
The dark decay🎶  
I feel so sad😔  
It's black and gray  
I hate you Dad🎵  
You'll never change🎶  
You'll only lie🎵  
It's all the same🎶  
My world is burning down around me🔥  
My deep despair is what surrounds me  
Yeah🎶  
My world is burning down around me  
My deep despair is what will drown me  
Yeah🎵  
Charlotte walks towards the kitchen stepping over the smashed taxidermy deer and mouse heads and broken Voodoo masks on the floor.She has to dodge a few stray spears as well when she reaches the doorway.  
Vagatha(launches more spears of light)Are you just going to fuck any cannibal who crawls into bed with you?!Is that what gets you off?!  
Alastor:(dodges)No,of course not!  
Vagatha:You are a Lucifer Damn Embarrassment!I cant stand another moment looking at your pathetic fish fucking face!

Vagatha storms out yelling all sorts of profanity.Alastor sighs and rolls his eyes but turns around and greets Charlotte who is at the table.  
Alastor:Good morning my little deerling!Did you sleep well?  
Charlotte:You're kidding,right?  
Alastor:Mhhmm...(opens the fridge)What is that you're listening to?  
Charlotte:Its called My World is Burning down around me.Its by Fuck U Dad....Its a band.  
Alastor:Oh!How...delightful

Alastor pulls three slabs of meat out and walks to the doors that open up to a small balcony.He throws the meat down to the moat.George and Georgina snapped up their pieces in their jaws while little Critter nommed on his.Alastor then walked back into the kitchen.  
Charlotte:Are you two done screaming for today?  
Before Alastor can answer Vagatha shouts again and a crashing sound is heard as she throws more things around in her tantrum.

Alastor:You know something I haven't done in a long time?(Y/n:Your wife cuz you're too busy doing me?Okay,okay I'll stop breaking the 4th wall)I haven't taken you to your favorite place,Loo Loo land!  
Charlotte:I'm not a five year old.  
Alastor:You always loved going to Loo Loo land!Why dont we go and spend the day,just you and me?  
Charlotte:I'd rather hang myself from the ceiling fan  
Alastor:That's the spirit,darling!Anything is better than staying in this house!(has his shadow hand him his vintage rotary phone)Now to arrange our security.  
Charlotte:For an amusement park?  
Alastor:We're rich and hot.People want our money and our bodies.  
Charlotte:The first one,probably  
Alastor:Speak for yourself,deerling.I am calling the only woman who can fuck me!  
Charlotte:...What?  
Alastor:Protect me!Us!Being part of an Overlord and Noble family is quite valuable,you know.  
Charlotte:(Groans and pulls her hat over her eyes)

Meanwhile at S.I.R.E.N  
Y/n is playing with paper figures of Husk,Niffty and Angel.On her desk is a picture of her half dressed with a rose in her mouth.The words #1 Bitch Boss are written in the corner with Boss written over bitch.The frame has a tiny paper crown.

Y/n:(impersonating Husk and holding the Husk doll in her left hand)You're such a great boss,Y/n!(impersonating Niffty with her doll in her right hand)The best Boss in the whole world!(tail comes up with Angel's doll and Y/n impersonates him)And your the coolest mom ever!(Normal voice)I know,I know.Now praise me more!

Before Y/n can raise her ego anymore her phone rings.She drops the dolls and answers it angrily.  
Y/n:What?!  
Alastor:Hello my bubble butt siren~  
Y/n:What  
Charlotte:The  
Y/n:Fuck  
Charlotte:Dad?!  
Alastor:Language,everyone!I have a special request for you Sea Star.  
Y/n:Look,I just did a face mask this morning so you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that red tailed ass of yours on.  
Alastor:I'm talking about my daughter  
Y/n:Oh,then make sure she washes it  
Alastor:No!Nonono.I meant I'm taking my daughter to Loo Loo land.I was hoping you brave little sinners would accompany us.  
Y/n:We are mercenaries,not body guards.Dont fucking invite us to anything unless someone is gonna die!  
Alastor:I'll pay you~  
Y/n:With what?  
Alastor:Money💸  
Y/n:Deal!(slams phone and accidentally breaks it)Not another one...(pulls out megaphone)H & N get in here!We are going to Loo Loo land!  
Husk:(opens the door)Loo Loo land?  
Niffty:(runs up with a star in her eye)Loo Loo Land?!  
Y/n:(still speaking in megaphone)To Loo Loo land!  
Angel:Shut the Hell up!

The S.I.R.E.N. van pulls up into a parking spot at Loo Loo land.Husk gets out and opens the side door.Alastor comes out with a Loo Loo land hat on.Charlotte comes out pulling her beanie low to cover her face up.  
Y/n:Look,this is strictly business.My crew and I aren't here to satisfy your perverted fantasies.Got it?!  
Charlotte:(groans)Dad do we really-  
Y/n:(holds a finger up)Just hold that thought sweetie.(turns back to Alastor)If you even think about fucking my little ass in this park-  
Alastor:(boops the nose)You are so adorable when you are angry Sea Star~  
Charlotte:I'm literally about to puke.  
Niffty:I knew we'd need the fanny pack!Husk get over here!(Grabs on to Husk and goes through the fanny pack she forced him to wear,looking for medicine)  
Husk:Niffty what the fuck?!  
Niffty:What do you need? Antacids?! Pepto Bismol?! Morphine?!(grabs bottles and then needles)  
Charlotte:I was being figurative.  
Niffty:Oh.(throws syringes in baby carriage)But she said it was literal...

Husk:Dont ever take anything teenagers say to seriously.Anyway,ya been here before Nift?  
Niffty:Uh huh!It hasn't changed at all since the last time.Oh,look!Its big Wobbly!  
Niffty points to a hideous reptile animatronic that shakes before shreeching.  
Husk:...That's fucked up.  
Niffty:Its fun!You've never been here before?  
Husk:Niffty,I'm a grown ass man.Why would I wanna go to a place full of screaming brats,cheap carnival food and creepers in suits?

Right as Husk says that Loo Loo land's mascot comes up behind him,scaring the daylights out of him.  
Loo Loo:Hey there!  
Husk:Holy fucking Hell!  
Loo Loo:Welcome to Loo Loo land!If ya get hurt just try and sue us!(creepy laugh)  
Alastor:Look Lotte!Its Loo Loo!  
Charlotte:I have a question.  
Loo Loo:Well ask away little girl(creepy chuckle)  
Charlotte:Isnt this place just a shameless knock off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu world?  
Loo Loo:...No...  
Charlotte:This place reeks of cooperate greed and desperation.  
Alastor:(nervous chuckle)Let's go check out the rides,Lotte.(steers Charlotte away)  
Loo Loo:That chick is pretty creepy,huh?  
Y/n:Yeah just wait untill her dad tries to drill your holes.(walks away)  
Loo Loo:What..?  
Husk:Fuck off.Come on Nift,he's probably a fucking perv under that suit.(pulls Niffty away)  
Loo Loo:....Hes right....

Husk:You really like this place,huh?  
Niffty:I love this place!I come here on special occasions.When I can swing it money wise.  
Niffty and Husk look at the gift shop with various merchandise from novelty cups to stuffed apples.  
Husk:That's fucking highway robbery!That much for a damn cup you use once?!  
Niffty:Cuz its Loo Loo land!

Y/n walks up decked out in merch.Shes wearing a Loo Loo land drinking hat.  
Y/n:(jabs Husk in the chest)Listen to your roomie,Husky.How about I take first watch while you two have some fun?  
Niffty:Oh we gotta ride my favorite coaster!  
Niffty grabs Husk and carries him to a roller coaster called the Lawsuit.The ride has an sharp 90 degree drop while being set on fire by a dragon.  
Husk:Fuck

After the ride Niffty is stroking Husk's wings as he violently throws up in a trash can.An imp family covered in the vomit he hurled during the ride glares at them.

Meanwhile with Alastor and Charlotte the walk around the fairgrounds,Alastor excited looking at everything while Charlotte looks like she'd rather be anywhere else.A gang of imps with pitchforks,knives and ropes.Y/n points the snipe rifle in their direction and they scatter.  
Alastor:Its so thrilling to see you on the job,Sea star~  
Y/n:Save it for your bedroom,bitch.Im working.  
Charlotte:Ugh,you two need to get a room.  
Y/n:Hey I am Not a day hooker,kid.  
An imp who is walking past with her baby stops and glares at Y/n before walking away in a huff.  
Y/n:What?I said I'm Not a day hooker, you hard of hearing prude(flips lady off)

Alastor:Oh,Lotte!Look!You used to cry such tears of joy when you'd see this show!  
Charlotte:Oh no...

Flashback to a young Charlotte being pushed towards the stage by the crowding imp children.Sir Pentious looms over all of them while maniacally laughing.Charlotte starts crying.In the back in a spare dunk tank is Y/n in her aquatic form.She is cramped inside and can barely move inside the tight spaced,dirty tank.  
Flashback end

Y/n and Charlotte:I really Hate that fucking snake.  
Alastor:Oh Pearly~I need my bodyguard!  
While Y/n and Charlotte were remembering the terror that is Sir Pentious,the imps from before had tied up Alastor and put a sack over his head.Y/n shoots the imp about to stab Alastor, which makes his blood splatter on the sack.This causes the rest of the imps to once again scatter off.  
Charlotte walks into the tent and takes a seat.Y/n carries Alastor in,bloody sack still on his head,and sets him down next to Charlotte.He makes no move to uncover his head so Charlotte rips it off.Y/n is the background with the rifle ready to shoot anyone who gets too close.An egg Boi does a drum roll while the lights turn on around the stage.Sir Pentious in all his slithery glory comes from behind the curtain.  
Sir Pentious:Greetingsss all you implingsss!It iss I,the amazing Ssir Pentiousss!Here with the electronic Egg Boiss to give you a wonderful performance about Loo Loo land,ssspelled with O'ss.Too avoid Lucifer ssuing again.Hit it number 23!  
♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫  
♫ Everybody sssing along with the Egg Boi band ♫  
♫ Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man ♫  
♫ Lovesss Loo Loo Land! ♫

Sir Pentious slithers around the crowd gesturing to members the audience.Y/n doesnt hesitant to point the rifle at him when he gets up in Alastor's face.

Sir Pentious:♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫  
♫ Everything iss beautiful at Loo Loo Land ♫  
♫ Ugly children holdin' handsss ♫(grabs children with tail and then throws them)  
♫ In Loo Loo Land! ♫  
♫ Everybody'ss friendly, and nobody iss mean ♫(Y/n:he says as he abuses and pushes around his Egg bois.Okay I'm done for real this time.The fourth wall can only take so much more of this)  
♫ No copyright infringement'ss ever sseen ♫

Pentious sets fire to all the cease and desist papers Lucifer's lawyers have sent with a flamethrower.He then slithers on a piano while an egg boi plays the melody of Princess Octavia's Inside of every demon is a Rainbow from her interview with 666 News.  
Sir Pentious:♫ I have a dream  
Egg boi #15:he has a dream ♫  
Sir Pentious:♫ I'm here to tell  
Egg boi 15:he's here to tell♫  
Sir Pentious:♫ About a magical fantasstic place called Loo Loo Land! ♫

With Husk and Niffty they're walking around when Niffty spots a stuffed toy on the prize stand of one of the games.  
Niffty:Oh!Husk look,a Thing!  
Husk:You want that ugly thing?I cant tell if it's supposed to be a panda or a duck.  
Niffty:Husk,I really,really want that thing!Get it for me?Plleeeaassseeeeeee?(puppy dog eye)  
Husk:Fine,one game.  
Carnie:Okay hit the target,pal and win a prize.  
Husk:At least this will be easy.(grabs gun and shoots the target)That's how ya do it Nif-(sees it didnt go down)The fuck?!  
Carnie:Well the target didnt go down,buddy so no prize.  
Husk pays for another game and hits the target.But it still doesnt go down.  
Husk:The fucking hell is wrong with this shitty thing?!  
Carnie:A real shame.Wah,wah(wipes away fake tears)  
Husk:(slams another bill on the stand)Another game!

Sir Pentious:Everybody sssing along with the Egg Boi band🎵Every girl,every boy,every woman,every man lovesss Loo Loo land🎶(laughs maniacally)  
Alastor claps along with the children at the end of the song,not noticing an imp with a dagger behind him.Y/n shoots him and the children run at the sound of gunfire.  
Alastor:Oh what good aim you have Sea Star~  
Charlotte:That is the last straw!I cant take anymore of this!I'm leaving!  
Alastor:Charlotte!(runs after her)  
Y/n goes to follow them but stops when Pentious calls out to her.  
Sir Pentious:Well,well well,look who it isss.Y/n,sstill sscaring all the kiddinsss I ssee.Im sssurprised to ssee you here.After all you ssaid you'd never sstep foot back here.Have you come crawling back after realizing what a pathetic wasssh up you are after failing to sstar on the ssilver sscreen?  
Y/n:Bitch,I dont need to listen to anything that comes from your mouth anymore.I make more money murdering people for a living than you do as a pompous showboat at this cash grab park!  
Sir Pentious:Oohhh!Sssomebody better return all that ssalt back to the ocean.Sssell out or not,people love me.Did anyone ever love you Y/n?  
Y/n:I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.I dont need to prove anything to you.But since you keep running your mouth,I'll show you how good I am with guns now.Dance,Pent Up!Dance!(pulls out a machine gun and starts shooting)  
Pentious slithers around to dodge the bullets and constricts Y/n with his tail before throwing her through the ceiling.She lands on an imp selling lit torches and sets the tent on fire.Several Egg bois run out before malfunctioning.A slightly burnt Pentious comes out with a crazed grin on his face.

Back with Niffty and Husk  
The carnie has several bills from Husk who still cant get the target to go down.He rolls one up and lights it on fire to smoke it like a cigar.  
Carnie:Now this is just sad.If ya suck,you just suck.  
Niffty:Let me try!  
Niffty fires the gun and misses badly.The carnie grins while pressing a pedal which makes the target fall.  
Carnie:Lucky shot!  
Niffty:(claps hands and jumps up and down)  
Husk:You fucking cheat!  
Carnie:Go back the retirement home,Old man.Im talking to the lady.Meerroow!  
Niffty flinches away in digust.Y/n and Pentious fight in the background despite the spreading fire.Y/n is slapped by his tail and sent flying.She crashes into the stand crushing the carnie.

Husk and Niffty:Y/n?  
Y/n:Hey guys...You should probably check on Al and his kid.Ive got unfinished business.And Angie has been asking for snake skin boots for awhile.  
Husk and Niffty go off to find Alastor and Charlotte.Y/n pulls out her flintlock and shoots at Pentous only for him to catch the bullet with his snake tongue and spit it out of his mouth.  
Y/n:Seriously?!

Alastor chases after his daughter.  
Alastor:Charlotte,wait!  
Charlotte:Just leave me alone!  
Charlotte runs into the fun house and Alastor follows her.As he looks around for her another imp jumps on him and puts a chloroform soaked rag against his face to try and drug him.  
Alastor:I believe I hired bodyguards to handle situations like this!  
Niffty shoots the Imp from the entrance.Husk hands her back her thing he snagged after Y/n smashed the stand.Niffty hugs and snuggles it.  
Alastor:(wipes the blood off him)That is better.Where is my Sea Star?  
Niffty:Shes...busy.  
Husk:Being a fool.  
Alastor:What kind of fool?  
Husk:The "place is now on fire" kind.  
Alastor walks away from the two assassins going deeper in the fun house to find Charlotte.He finds her in one of the rotating apple carts,crying.  
Alastor: Charlotte...  
Alastor throws down the Loo Loo Loo land Hat sits next to Charlotte in the apple cart.

Alastor: I take it you are... not having fun.  
Charlotte: I didn't even want to come here!  
Alastor: I'm sorry, sweetie. I- I thought you loved it here.  
Charlotte: When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other, and my dad didn't flirt with some weird fish bitch the entire time.  
Alastor: I'm sorry, Lotte. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's a lot I-- I should have listened.  
Charlotte: I just want to go home, but home doesn't even feel like home anymore. You ruined it.  
Alastor: You need to understand, your mother and I... I just--I felt-- she's always been... I haven't been--we weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.  
Charlotte: Are you going to run off with her? And leave me behind? Go away where... I can't find you?  
Alastor: What? No! No, no, never. I'd never do that. Never. I think it's time to leave this place. You were right. You are too old for it anyway.

Alastor picks Charlotte up and starts to carry her out of the fun house.One last imp tries to get the jump on them.Before anything can happen,Alastor glares at the imp with radio dial eyes.Chester grabs the imp's shadow and rips it apart.Which does the same to the imp leaving him a pile of body parts.Alastor continues to carry Charlotte while the park burns down around them.Niffty shoots at Pentious who slithers around.Pentious is then is grabbed by the dragon and she chews him abit like a toy before spitting him out.Alastor and Charlotte leave the park gates.  
Alastor:What would you like to do now?  
Charlotte:Can we go to Stylish Occult?They have weird taxidermy there.  
Alastor:Alright deerling  
Charlotte:Thanks Dad.Youre okay sometimes.  
Alastor:No,thank you Lotte.  
The members of S.I.R.E.N.fall from the sky and land in front of Alastor and Charlotte.  
Husk:Way to fuck up shit again Y/n  
Y/n:Totally worth it!That ego maniac of a legless lizard had it coming!(passes out)


	61. ShowSwitch Spring Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heres Spring broken on Valentine's day.This whole week feels the same for me.Take two days to write a chapter,post and repeat.Im gonna take a few days off after this.But the next ones are gonna be oneshots and scenarios instead of these long chapters.Even a certain idea I've got probably wont be so exhausting.I wont spoil it cuz it's something I'm testing the waters with.

Y/n and the rest of S.I.R.E.N. are in the van driving to work.Y/n drives into the parking lot but a pink car parks in the usual spot.Y/n slams the breaks quickly sending everyone inside fowards at the sudden stop.  
Y/n:(reads the license plate)Oh,you suck for life do ya?(gets megaphone)Alright you unoriginal fuchsia cock slut!You have 3 seconds to get your ass -(sees who came out of the car)Oh shit,Verosika?!

The succubus in question walks out of her car and pops her gum before acknowledging Y/n.  
Verosika:Y/n.I almost didnt recognize you until I heard that obnoxious voice.  
Y/n:Of course you're here.I could smell fish for miles which was weird considering the nearest ocean is three rings down!  
Verosika:And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the amber alerts.  
Y/n:Oh yeah?I'm surprised the let your fat ass out of rehab.Its obvious you're still a drunk slut,clutching that Beezlejuice flask like it's the last cock in Hell!  
Verosika:(flips her hair)They let me out cuz I'm still famous.And rehab is for sad wash up losers.(drinks from flask and wipes her lips)So I'm surprised you weren't there.

Y/n angrily gets out of the van and storms up to Verosika.  
Y/n:Why are you parking here?!This is the only spot my company has so move your condom race car somewhere else!  
Verosika:Actually hag,it has my name on it.  
Verosika points down at the parking space where she obviously spray painted her name over S.I.R.E.N.  
Verosika:I'm doing some freelance for one of the infinitely more famous companies in the building.

Angel watches the interaction from the car window.  
Angel:No way.  
Verosika:And they want me to lead their team this week during Spring Break.  
Y/n:A week?!Oh fuck no!You aren't parking here for a fucking week!  
Verosika:(takes off her sunglasses)Aw,you mad Y/n?Are you going to leave someone else to pay for the hotel bill,steal their car  
Y/n and Verosika:And race 6 rings to gluttony and max my credit cards on 60 fucking sushi bars?!  
Y/n:(stomps)Lucifer damn it,whore!You will not let that go!You had it coming after you stole my job behind my back!Did you have to suck both Val and Vox off to get my spot,bubblegum bitch?  
Verosika:Go choke on a sandpaper cock

Verosika flips Y/n off and starts to walk away.Angel ducks down as she walks past the van.Y/n isnt gonna let this go however,and follows after her.  
Y/n:Hold it!You better move your pussy wagon or I'll-  
A growl is heard behind Y/n and she turns around to see a tall Hellhound.  
Vortex:Or you'll what?  
Y/n:Uhhh...Or I'll call HR(makes phone dialing gesture)  
The three of them burst into laughter for a moment before abruptly stopping.  
Verosika:Anyway,meet my new hellhound,Vortex.Unlike you,he actually does his job well.Ta Ta Fuckstain~

Verosika flips Y/n the bird again as she and Vortex enter the building.  
Y/n:I cant believe I gave my virginity to a bag of holes like that.(turns to reader)Also yeah,I was with Verosika too.AngelBoots orginally had us as old rivals but decided to make her my ex.And this was before she even came up with Mange's version of this.Besides,in Dapper Dresser,Classic is implied to be well, bi and AngelBoots thinks genders are subjective.So she's is writing the rest of us implied or confirmed bisexual.

Angel:You know Verosika Mayday?!  
Y/n:Hmm?Oh,yeah we dated.  
Niffty:Was it before or after she became a pop star?  
Husk:You dated a pop star?!  
Y/n:Why are you all so surprised by this?  
Angel:Hello,its Verosika Mayday?  
Niffty:Its you?  
Husk:Is she blind?Suffering from brain damage?High or just really fucking drunk?Cuz Beezlejuice is strong even for me.  
Y/n:It was before she became a pop star but she was a small time actress back when I worked for Vox.  
Angel:How did I not know this?!  
Y/n:She isnt exactly the kind of girl you bring home to your kid.Our relationship was more along the lines of Co workers with benefits.We fed off the energy the other would produce.You remember what I looked like back then,right Tony?  
Angel:Yeah you were taller and you had huge fucking tits.You were thick with 3 c's.  
Y/n:Yeah the "thicccness" came from the excess sexual energy we'd make with each other.After we broke up,I didnt have energy to use outside my real form so I started to go back to my original proportions.  
Angel:Dont you and Alastor fuck every week?  
Y/n:No,its every month with occasional sex inbetween.And that's not enough.I think you underestimated how much I meant by excess energy.

Niffty:Speaking of sex,what was it like with her?  
Husk:Niffty!  
Niffty:What?Its a pop star!  
Y/n:Okay enough of that.I dont pry into your stupid private lives.  
Husk:Are you fucking kidding me?!  
Niffty:You kinda do  
Angel:All the time  
Y/n:Okay,you dont count Angie,we live in the same building.Now drop it. Niffty you find a place to park the van for now.(throws keys at Niffty who Mario bounces up to catch them.)Angie,Husk let's go handle this shit.

Y/n,Angel and Husk get off the elevator.  
Angel:Do you think they saw me?Fuck,my makeup is shitty today!  
Y/n:You look perfect Angie,like always~  
Angel:Shut up Mo-(Y/n with sparkly eyes)Y/n!  
Angel pulls out a white compact with a pink heart on it.Hes so busy looking in the mirror he doesnt notice where he's walking.He bumps right into Vortex's back.

Angel:Oh,sorry.  
Vortex looks down at Angel,who is blushing.Y/n comes down from her glee of Angel almost calling her mom and goes between the two.  
Y/n:Okay big guy.Wheres your bitch bag employer?  
Vortex:In her office.There wasnt room on the second floor so she rented one on this floor.Cheaper.  
Vortex points to the office across from S.I.R.E.N. Verosika's initials are spray painted on the door.  
Y/n:Oh Come On!  
Vortex:Sorry lady.(walks away)

Y/n:Oh no you dont bitch.  
Husk:Ya want me to go talk to her?I dont give a damn about her being famous.And I dont like that shitty music like Niffty-  
Y/n:Husk,shut up.  
Husk:Fine.  
Husk goes inside the office Verosika is renting.  
Husk:Verosika,is it?Look,I dont care what you've got against Y/n.And frankly she doesnt pay me enough to care.But we need that park-  
Coco:Oh looky at the kitty.Hes got a wittle bowtie  
Husk:Dont fucking condescend me,bitch!  
Josh:Wanna kissy little guy?  
Husk:Go fuck yourself.  
Verosika:Hey,send a message from me to your flat.chested.boss.  
Verosika and her group turn more demonic before swarming Husk.Y/n presses herself against the window trying to make sure hes alive.  
Husk:Dont fucking touch that!  
Y/n:Husk!Dont let her access any of your holes!

Husk manages to fly out of the office,slamming the door shut behind him.He's scuffed up,some of his feathers are ruffled and his face is covered in lipstick.  
Husk:I'm... gonna pass out now...  
Y/n:Oh this won't STAND!(kicks open the doors to Verosika's office)Alright Motherfuckers!If you're gonna be shitty to my employees,then I fucking challenge you to a wager!  
Kiki:Is this little siren starting a demon duel?  
Verosika:I think she is.(leans down and chuckles) Whats the game,Y/n?  
Y/n:Each year you STD spreaders go upstairs for easy meals when Spring break is a time for crime.So I bet you and your Kanker sisters cant fuck as many people as we can off(makes gunpoint finger gesture) by the end of the day.

The succubi and Inccubi laugh at Y/n.She just glares up at them.  
Verosika:Oh?You're serious,then?(leans down and whispers in Y/n's ear)Game on bitch.

All the members of S.I.R.E.N. are in the meeting room.Y/n stands in front of an easel with drawings.  
Y/n:Okay shut your pieholes.This is how we're gonna do this.We get a fuckton of clients(flips to next page),we portal up and have our fun murder time,(flips the page)We put the corpses in a boat to attract all the sharks and eels hell,maybe even a goose.(flips to next page)Next I make out with Ala-(sees someone tampered with her plan drawing)Okay who the fuck did this?!I bet you think you're real funny.(tears picture if Alastor and Y/n making out)Next,they all eat the bodies and we win.(turns to last page)We rub it in that slutty bitch's fat ass face!Any questions?

Husk:Yeah,what the fuck was that mess?  
Y/n:It wasnt a mess.That was an artistic display of how where gonna win this wager.Not my fault your brain is too wrinkly Husk.  
Husk:What?  
Y/n:I'm calling you senile,Husk.Lucifer,learn to take criticism,(jabs Husk in the chest) you talentless baby dick drunk.  
Husk:(gets in Y/n's face) Why dont you go to a damn art class?!  
Y/n:(pushes Husk back down into the chair)Why dont you see how fucking expensive they are?!

Angel:(looks away from his Hellphone)Hey any chance I can come with ya guys this time?  
Y/n:Big no!(crosses her arm)Sorry sweetie,Spring break is not a place for young vulnerable twinks.You know the kind of digusting sickos(exaggerates the word sickos)who would drool all over you!

All four of them face the readers with annoyed or angry glares.  
Angel:Well I can blend in with humans enough.Just let me tag along.  
Y/n:Wait repeat that first part.  
Angel:I can blend in?  
Niffty:Do you have a human disguise?  
Angel:Yeah,dont all of you?  
Husk,Niffty and Y/n all look at each other.  
Angel:Are ya fucking telling me that you three idiotas have been going to Earth without diguises?!I know ya have one,Y/n!That is literally part of your whole siren shtick,luring people to their death!

Y/n pauses before drawing on a new page of the easel.  
Y/n:Okay,new plan.Angie and I will lure the humans in,and you two take care of the rest.Sound good?  
Niffty:Flawless logic.  
Husk:I think you're forgetting how the fuck we're gonna get enough clients that want a bunch of people on a beach in Florida dead.(Yeah the beach is in Florida apparently,from Verosika's hell tour shirt that just got released with other limited addition merch)  
Y/n:Just leave it to me.

Y/n slaps a flyer on a telephone pole.Its crudely drawn in crayon and reads "Half off 4 Spirng Brake Victum".  
Y/n:Now we wait.  
Husk:There is no way we are gonna get enough clients with one shitty misspelled poster drawn in crayon!  
And because Husk tempted fate,a whole bunch of demons are in line to hire S.I.R.E.N.Y/n elbows Husk as she walks up to the line.  
Y/n:Okay,who's first?

Cuts to a beach in Florida 

S.I.R.E.N. are hiding under the boardwalk.  
Y/n:Alright,you two cant be seen.And loose gunfire will cause a panic,so Tony and I will lead targets in a better spot to off them(cut throat gesture).You got the list right,Angie?  
Angel:Yeah.

Angel stands up and is wrapped in pink threads of spider silk.The faint sound of spiders crawling is heard as he transforms.The threads break away and Angel is in his human form.His hair is blonde but still has the pink.His skin is olive colored and his extra eyes are now freckles.Instead of a fluffy chest giving off the illusion of boobs,Angel's chest has lean but muscled abs.Both of his eyes are still fuchsia.(Remember this Angel died before Classic Angel.So what ever happen to Classic Angel with his eye didnt happen to ShowSwitch Angel.So he has both eyes)

Y/n:Oh look at my boy!I think I'm gonna cry...  
Angel:Just hurry up and change.  
Y/n:(wipes eyes)Okay...  
Y/n stands up and water surrounds her.Instead of the sound of crawling spiders Angel's transformation had,the wordless melody of Siren's voice is heard.The water dispels and Y/n is in her human form.She is a couple inches shorter,the same size as Classic.Y/n changed out of her usual office clothes when they were getting ready so shes wearing a f/c bikini top and denim shorts.Strappy tan sandals cover her feet.  
Angel:I forgot your even shorter like this.  
Y/n:Hey,my human form doesn't get altered by the physical changes from collecting soul energy.Lets just get to work.

Angel goes up to a guy with a flirty smirk and runs his fingers up his chest.Angel then points to a back alleyway with his thumb.They go into the alleyway and right before the man can grab Angel he gets shot by Y/n.Another man goes over to Angel only to get caught in a noose.Y/n is standing on a rooftop when a guy strolls over to her.Before he can do anything hes kicked from above by Husk and falls into a dumpster,with Niffty closing the lid.Angel walks with a girl down the street when shes hit by a falling brick.Y/n licks the neck of a woman who is getting frisky in an alleyway.Y/n then violently bites the women's neck out and leaves her to bleed.Niffty kills a lady with a baseball bat and Husk shoots one with a HEADSHOT!  
Y/n,Husk and Niffty are shoving several bodies in garbage bags.

Y/n:We've got this!I'd like to see that willy snatch orgasm this many-  
Y/n is interrupted by music and humans cheering.  
She looks over to see the silhouette of Verosika in smoke before she steps out in her human form.Verosika's white hair has turned dirty blonde with a red star pattern like the ones on her horns.The pink streaks remain.Her skin is tanned and her eyes while having white slyera still have pink irises.Shes now wearing a hot pink ruffle top that shows her midriff and a short skirt with a white star on it.Her stockings and heels are still the same but she has a sash with a heart where her tail used to be.

Verosika:Alright Spring Breakers!Are you ready to get fucked up and make some bitchin bad choices?!  
The crowd cheers and a teen rips off his shirt to reveal Verosika's name written on his chest.(For some reason I thought he wrote this in lipstick when I first saw this instead of the logical pink marker.)  
Verosika:This is your final boarding call.All aboard.  
The screens on each side of the stage display the message "Fuck you Y/n".Said siren hisses, her tongue snakelike.

Okay quick message,this variation of Vacay to Bonetown is a mix of the wiki transcript and what I was able to hear.

Verosika:Pack your bags,sun's out🔆Take a vacay babe💗Take it straight to bonetown🎵  
Verosika takes a chug of her Beezlejuice(Y/n:Cuz the whore guzzles that shit almost as much as she does with cock).The humans listening start making out and grinding against each other.

Verosika:Me time,free time,baby relax❤Soft care,no hair,Brazilian waxed🎶  
Milky licks a popsicle seductively catching the attention of a pink haired guy with a heart drawn on his chest.She pounces on him and they start to make out.

Verosika:Hornt up succu-bus to the beach🏖  
A sun burned beachgoer drops his sunglasses as he stares at the tall incubus, Ace giving him finger guns.Coco and Kiki cozy up to a lady in shades and an orange swimsuit.Another incubus is getting kissed by a girl while they sit on a beach towel.A succubus wraps her arms around two guys shoulders.  
Verosika:Catch some rays while catching some D

Y/n:Lucifer damn it!Shes started her goatish mating call!Now shes gonna win all these sex maniacs!We need to step it up!(points to a teen throwing up)He on the list Angie?  
Angel distractedly answers back as he stares at Vortex in human form.  
Angel:Uh...Yeah,I think.  
Y/n:Good.(uses her hook to slice the man in half)Okay next one Tony.(looks around)Tony?!Where is my baby?!  
Niffty:Look!(points to Angel walking up to Vortex)  
Y/n growls at the sight.

Verosika:Pack your bags🎵  
Sun's out🔆  
Take a Vacay babe💖  
Take it straight to Bonetown💗  
Hot dog, hot bod, sausage and buns🌭  
Threesome, fivesome, having some fun🎶  
Back to my place, welcome to Hell😈  
Charms on, hormones out, how does it smell?💔

Angel walks in the direction Vortex is checking his compact mirror.He barely manages to dodge an incubus and the sun burnt guy from before falling to the ground making out.A girl's bikini top lands on his face which he throws off.After tossing it aside he sees Vortex has moved.A crazed fan had tried to get to Verosika on stage and Vortex had punched him to the ground.Vortex then dragged him away from the crowd.Angel tried to follow but Josh grabs his shoulders and gives Angel a wink.Angel punches him in the face and headed over to Vortex.

Verosika:Pack your bags🎶  
Sun's out🔆  
Take a Vacay babe💗  
Take it straight to Bonetown💖  
Now who wants a piece of this?!  
Verosika throws her flask into the crowd.It bounces on the heads of the humans before landing in the sea.It spills on a fish that begins to mutate.

Angel walks up nervously to Vortex.  
Angel:Uh...Hey there  
Vortex:Hey.Youre the spider working for my boss's freaky ex,right?  
Angel:Yeah...Sorry if that's weird.  
Vortex:Its cool,her beef ain't mine.Im not paid enough to care.  
Angel:Yeah.Im Angel Dust.  
Vortex:(chuckles)I'm Vortex!  
Angel:That's hot.Uh, ya know cuz vortexes make heat.  
Vortex:Yeah I guess.But my friends call me Tex.  
Angel:My friends,er friend calls me Angie.I...I dont really have a lot of friends.  
Y/n:(walks inbetween the two)Am I interrupting something here?  
Vortex:Nah,just having a conversation.  
Y/n:Conversation leads to Fornication.I would know.Cuz everytime I talk to the radio demon it leads to me getting fucked six ways to Sunday.

Husk:And we lost our lures.Looks like we gotta do this ourselves,Nift.  
Niffty:Alrighty!Team H & N getting things done!And making the munz!  
Niffty and Husk run off and kill a bunch of targets together around the beach and shops.

Angel:Speakin of Al,could ya leave before or I'll send him pictures of ya in your human form.  
Y/n:I just came over to see what was taking you from your job.  
Angel:What?I'm not allowed ta take a break?  
Y/n:We have a parking space on the line!  
Vortex:Chill out girl.Its not a big deal.  
Y/n:Butt out.This is our business.Literally.  
Angel:Fuck Y/n!Why cant ya stay out of my face for five fucking minutes?!  
Y/n:Because I adopted you!And that should mean something!  
Angel:What does it matter?!Your not my real mom!I was a teenager when I died!  
Y/n:You were a minor, it still counts!  
Angel:Well it shouldn't! I didnt need ya then and I dont need you now,stronza!

Y/n:(makes a hurt face before it turns to anger)That's rich from someone who still lives with me after 87 years!If you dont wanna be there you can move the fuck out!And dont act like you could have handled yourself when you fell.You were a minor who was struggling with your sexuality in the 1930s!With your vulnerability and fluffy tits Valentino would have had you signing your life away in a week,maybe two.Is that what you would have wanted?!Being an abused sex slave cuz Val hates being told 'no'?!Still fucking addicted to PCP and whatever drugs he would have you on to keep you complacent?!Dont think I dont remember what you used to be like "Angel Dust"!

Niffty and Husk are behind a table next to bunch of beer barrels.Husk loads the crossbow while Niffty gets ready to shoot.A drunk man flips over the table and Husk and Niffty are sent in the air.Husk doesnt fall cuz hes got wings,duh.But Niffty lands on the ground infront of people.  
Woman:Ew!A rabid chihuahua!  
Niffty:Oh dear...  
Niffty tries to run but is grabbed by the leg and put in a keg of beer.Shes forced to drink the beer as the partygoers shake and toss the barrel away.

Angel:(reaches an arm out towards Y/n)Y/n...I-  
Y/n:Enjoy your spring break Anthony.Since you like that whore's Hellhound so much,you can go back to Hell with them.Dont expect to find me when you get back.Maybe I'll elope Alastor and run off to Los Santanio.(Again something I learned from the Verosika's Hell tour shirt.Unfortunately her concert there and in Pentagram city has already happened as they were on Groundhog's day and February 9th.Actually by the time Verosika is preforming in the human world,she has done all her concerts in the seven rings.Okay back to the story)Now if you excuse me,I'm going to go eat a human.(storms off)

Angel:Oh Dio...(groans)  
Vortex:Oh damn.That was savage.You okay there?(sets a hand on Angel's shoulder)  
Angel:(blushes)Yeah,yeah...I'm fine.(looks in the direction Y/n left off to)She...didnt mean it.  
Vortex:I'm glad you can stick up for yourself at least.Takes alot of guts.  
Angel:Thanks

Husk goes over to where the barrel with Niffty in it was abandoned.He tips it over and Niffty comes out with the rest of the beer.  
Husk:Niffty?  
Niffty:Husskyyy!When did you get four heads.Hehe Four heads,foreheads.Four foreheads.Hehehee....  
Husk tries helps Niffty stand up when a huge geyser comes from the water.The fish from before has turned into a monster and let's out a roar.It steps on a human lounging on a beach towel,splattering everyone in the area with blood.The humans scream and run away.

Niffty:Oohhh!Fishy!  
Niffty is grabbed by the monsters tongue and pulled into its mouth.  
Y/n who is eating a guys internal organs, looks up at the monster.  
Y/n:Oh come on.  
Husk sees a human drinking and kills him with a knife.He makes a molotov cocktail out of the human's drink and shirt.He throws it at the fish monster.It stumbles back into the water.Y/n sheds her human form for her true form.Shes several feet taller,more so than Angel.Her hands have sharp claws and has several layers of teeth.Her dorsal fin is spiky with a few more spikes running down her back.She jumps into the water her legs turning into a shark tail.She throws her hook at one of the fish demon's teeth.She begins to pull herself towards it.Her legs return as she starts walking up the monster's torso and reaches its mouth.She pries it open and sees Niffty drunkenly fighting the tongue.Y/n reaches out to Niffty but instead of grabbing Y/n's hand,Niffty high fives her.Y/n then extends her eel tail and grabs Niffty's arm and pulls her closer.Y/n then cuts the tongue with her hook.The fish demon tries to close its mouth in pain but Y/n barely manages to keep it open.  
Y/n:HUSK!CATCH!

Y/n throws Niffty out of the mouth.The monster takes advantage of this and closes its mouth with Y/n inside.Niffty still wrapped in the tongue is sent flying.Husk flies up and catches her and throws the tongue down.A man who is still on the beach for some reason narrowly dodges the tongue and cheers.Only to get shot by Husk as he lands on the beach.Y/n bites the remains of the monster's tongue making it fling her out of its mouth.Y/n raises her hook and runs it down the demon fish's face and torso.She then wraps the hook and chain around the fish and drags it as she swims back to shore.Her shark tail making a quick return before she pulls herself on the sand,back in her standard demon form.  
Husk:Holy hell Y/n!  
Y/n:Mama's got fish for a month!  
Niffty:(giggles)This is so funny...I'm soooooo...drinking.  
Y/n:Alright gang let's get this baby back to the office for me to slice up!  
Verosika:Y/n.  
Y/n:Oh great.What do you want princess popslut?  
Verosika:That was handled rather...obviously.  
Y/n:Missing something Slutheart?I found this in the mouth of my soon to be sushi platter.  
Y/n throws the flask at Verosika who catches it.She glares at it before dropping it in Milky's hands.  
Y/n:I wonder how much trouble you'd be in if word got out that you caused a giant demon fish in the human world.I dont think you'd be getting rehab.  
Niffty:(laughs)Oh Lucifer!You dun Fauuckked Up!  
Verosika glares while her inccubi and succubi look worried and concerned.Milky tries to hide the heart flask in her back pocket.  
Verosika:Yeah,well....You three will be in shit for not wearing diguises!You think Leviathan wouldnt hesitate to kill a siren undisguised in the living realm?!

Niffty walks up to Verosika and face plants.She raises her head up to talk.  
Niffty:A human called me a chihuahua.I am not a fucking chihuahua...(head lands back into sand.)  
Y/n:(pushes Niffty to the side)In case you didnt notice I was in my human form until your not so little monster attacked.Any human who saw any of us were high,drunk,both or are now downstairs.But...I think we can keep this little incident between us if you give back my parking space.  
Verosika:(absolute disgust)Fine...  
Y/n:We fucking won!  
Hisk:Fuck yeah!  
Niffty:Suck it slut!  
Y/n:(points a finger in Verosika's face)How do you like that,Succu-bitch?!In your drunken face!

Verosika:Ugh...Let's get out of here.Tex!  
Vortex:Well that my cue.But if you like I'll give you a ring sometime.  
Angel:Really?!I mean,yeah sounds cool.  
Vortex:Glad you think so.My girlfriend throws a ton of killer hound parties.  
Angel:(you can hear when his heart tears in half)Oh...great,cant wait to go to my first one.  
Vortex:(playfully punches Angel's shoulder)Let's get you some more friends,boy.  
Y/n:Come on Tony Baloney!Let's go park our fat fucking van in our fat fucking space and eat some fat fucking fish.  
Y/n drags the fish to the portal.It gets stuck for a moment before she tugs the chain.Angel falls backwards into the portal.Y/n hops back up to give Verosika the double birds which causes her to growl.Her and her crew walk off the beach only to be surrounded by police,swat vans and a clown with a sword balloon.  
Verosika:Alright, get ready to suck alot of pig dick,sluts.(Raises hands up)  
The others groan and raise their arms up too.

Later back at Y/n and Angel's appartment.

Y/n is comforting a sad Angel while Fat Nuggets was curled up in his lap.  
Y/n:So he was straight?  
Angel:Yeah,or at least he had a girlfriend.  
Y/n:(pets Angel's hair floof)Its okay Angie.  
Angel:...I'm sorry I told ya off so I could flirt with a guy who was taken.  
Y/n:I'm sorry too.For saying you'd be one of Val's whores without me.And for calling you Angel Dust.  
Angel:Ya neva call me Angel....Are you really gonna make me move out?Run off to marry Smiles and leave me alone?  
Y/n:Anthony,of course not.I was just saying things cuz I was angry.We both said things on that beach we didnt mean.Besides,me marry Alastor?Ha!All seven rings of Hell will freeze over before that happens!  
Angel:(chuckles)...I love ya Ma.  
Y/n:(wraps her tail around Angel and pulls him into a hug)I love you too Anthony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think of all the fourth wall break.Was it too much?Anyway happy Valentine's day or Palentines day,however you wanna celebrate it.Now I'm gonna tape the fourth wall back together.


	62. Say my name Lyric Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do something between the Y/n's that isnt related to the arc where they're in classic's dimension.I got the idea from watching bnha videos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here the Aus can connect to Classic and the hotel's group chat thanks to Baxter connecting their phones to the Alternate dimension-inator.If you guys like I'll do more lyric pranks for the Aus.Also this had 69 kudos now.Nice

Hotel Mange-ment=Charlie  
Fluffy Boots=Angel  
Sharkgirl=Classic Y/n  
AsSIRENate:ShowSwitch Y/n  
Radio Demon=Alastor, duh  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏=Lucifer

Hotel Mange-ment,Fluffy Boots,Vaggie,Niffty-chan,Sharkgirl,AsSIRENate are online

AsSIRENate:You could use a buddy  
Don't you want a pal?  
Fluffy Boots:Nah  
Hotel Mange-ment:Yes I do! Yes I do!  
Niffty-chan:Me too!  
AsSIRENate:Girl, the way I see it  
Kyle should be leavin'  
And you should stick around.And kill him  
Sharkgirl:What?  
AsSIRENate:Nothing

Vaggie:It didnt sound like nothing.  
Hotel Mange-ment:Y/n,ShowSwitch I know Kyle betrayed you in both your realities but that doesn't mean you should kill him.

AsSIRENate:So, Y/n, don't end yourself  
Hotel Mange-ment:Wait What?  
Vaggie:Y/n what does she mean by that?  
Fluffy Boots:Why are ya on the roof?

AsSIRENate:Defend yourself  
Kyle is the one you should maim  
Together we'll exterminate, assassinate  
All:No  
AsSIRENate:The finer points can wait  
But first you gotta say my name  
Go ahead and jump but that won't stop him

Vaggie:Y/n get off the roof  
Hotel Mange-ment:Please dont jump.Id miss you🥺  
Niffty-chan:Me too😭  
Fluffy Boots:Do a flip!  
Vaggie:Angel!😡  
Fluffy Boots:It wont kill her.Trust me I've tried.She just regenerate anyways  
Hotel Mange-ment:Angel,I think we need to add why self harm and physical injuries in general,are bad despite the fact we'll regenerate at your next therapy session.  
Fluffy Boots:Oh darn😒

AsSIRENate:Here you got a solid plan B option  
I can bring your bestie so much pain  
All you gotta do is say my name  
Girl, just say it three times in a row3️⃣  
Then you won't believe how far I'll go🎶  
Vaggie:Seriously dont murder anyone  
Fluffy Boots:Ngl that "say name 3 times" shit sounds like some Bloody Mary fuckery  
Niffty-chan:Dont say it or Hanako-chan will get you!😨

AsSIRENate:I'm on the bench, but coach  
Just put me in the game  
All you gotta do is say my name  
Sharkgirl:I don't know your name  
Fluffy Boots:Da fuck?She Is You  
Sharkgirl:Could be different Surname

Drunkle is online  
Drunkle:Why the fuck is Niffty freaking out about summoning "Hanako chan"?I was napping  
Hotel Mange-ment:We're not summoning Hanako.Showswitch is trying to get Y/n to kill Kyle  
Drunkle:The fucker who killed her?  
Sharkgirl:Ye  
Drunkle:Ya told me about him.Fuck him up kid  
Vaggie:Husk!  
Drunkle:Bye,happy murder.Im going back to sleep.  
Drunkle has left the chat

AsSIRENate:Well, I can't say it  
Niffty-chan:Wait,why  
Sharkgirl:How 'bout a game of charades?  
AsSIRENate:Yes, let's play it  
Vaggie:Over text?  
AsSIRENate:✌  
Sharkgirl:Two words  
AsSIRENate:Right✌  
Sharkgirl:Second word  
AsSIRENate:Uh-huh🍶  
Sharkgirl:Drink?  
AsSIRENate:No🍹  
Sharkgirl:Beverage?  
No🍾  
Sharkgirl:Wine?  
No🥤  
Sharkgirl:Juice?  
AsSIRENate:Yes  
Sharkgirl:Okay  
AsSIRENate:🥇  
Sharkgirl:First word  
AsSIRENate:Okay🐛  
Sharkgirl:Bug?  
AsSIRENate:No🐜  
Sharkgirl:Ant?  
AsSIRENate:Close, but no🐞  
Sharkgirl:Beetle?  
AsSIRENate:Yes  
Sharkgirl:Betelgeuse?

Vaggie:Wait is this a fucking lyric-  
AsSIRENate has muted Vaggie.

AsSIRENate:Wow, I'm impressed  
And all you gotta do is say my name three times3️⃣  
Three times in a row it must be spoken  
Unbroken  
Fluffy Boots:This some demon summoning shit  
Niffty-chan:But we are demons?  
AsSIRENate:Ready?  
Sharkgirl:Yeah  
AsSIRENate Okay, go  
Hotel Mange-ment:Wait no dont say it  
Sharkgirl:Betelgeuse  
AsSIRENate:Yes  
Sharkgirl:Betelgeuse  
AsSIRENate:Yes  
Sharkgirl:Beeeee

Hotel Mange-ment:Y/n dont make a deal with her!Murder is never the answer!  
Fluffy Boots:Hoe,dont do it  
Niffty-chan:I'm getting Alastor in the chat  
Niffty-chan added Radio Demon to the chat

Radio Demon:What is going on?  
AsSIRENate:Oh, oh, this is gonna be so good  
Sharkgirl:'Cause  
AsSIRENate:What?  
Hotel Mange-ment:(sigh of relief)Y/n you had us worried for a minute  
Sharkgirl:You're so smart  
A stand-up gal  
I'll think about your offer  
Let you know

Radio Demon:If you wanted to torment that pathetic betrayer,all you have to do is ask me,darling  
Sharkgirl:But I prefer my chances down below  
Radio Demon:What?  
Fluffy Boots:Jump or get off the roof already  
Sharkgirl:Betelgeuse  
AsSIRENate: Yes  
Sharkgirl:Betelgeuse  
AsSIRENate:Yes  
Sharkgirl:Being young and female doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark  
AsSIRENate:Gah!  
Hotel Mange-ment:Tell her Y/n 😊  
Fluffy Boots:Seriously toots,stop doing that your gonna double kill me with the suspense ☠  
Sharkgirl:I've been swimming with piranhas  
I don't need a shark  
AsSIRENate:You Are a Shark,Kelp for brains  
Radio demon:Wait,darling why did you go swimming in the deadly piranha infested waters of Hell?  
Niffty-chan:I think its one of those metaphors Alastor

Fluffy Boots:Oh now she gets them!

Sharkgirl:Yes, life sucks  
Fluffy Boots:Yeah it does😏  
Radio:Well you are an expert on sucking  
Sharkgirl:But not that much  
Okay, Betelgeuse  
AsSIRENate:Yes,say it!  
Shaekgirl:Betelgeuse  
AsSIRENate:Just once more  
Sharkgirl:Be a doll and spare the lecture  
AsSIRENate:I'm offering you a full-time human killer  
Sharkgirl:Are you any good?  
Hotel Mange-ment:Y/n what did I just say about murder being wrong?!  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏 has joined the chat  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:Dont listen to a word she says Y/n.Murder is fun,I do it all the time  
Hotel Mange-ment:Dad!  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:What?  
Hotel Mange-ment:How are you in our chat  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:Magic✨👐

AsSIRENate:You bet'cha  
Trust me, baby  
Sharkgirl:I just met ya  
Really it's a flattering offer  
AsSIRENate:Don't you wanna see Kyle suffer?  
Radio Demon:Yes  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:Making people suffer is fun  
Hotel Mange-ment:No it is not!Dad stop encouraging torture in my redemption hotel chat!  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:Hmmmm....No😝  
Hotel Mange-ment:I'm telling Mom  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:Wait Charlotte no-

Sharkgirl:I think I'd rather just jump off  
All:No  
Sharkgirl:I may be suicidal  
But Betelgeuse, it's not as if I've lost my mind  
Fluffy Boots:Ya sure about that dollface?  
Radio Demon:Y/n if you do not come down from that roof,I will retrieve you myself  
AsSIRENate:So, playing hardball, huh?  
You are tougher than you look  
Sharkgirl:Just wanna make sure I know who I'm working with  
Got any references?  
AsSIRENate:Yeah  
AsSIRENate added VOX to the chat

Radio demon:Y/n, there you are  
Are you alright?  
VOX:The fuck am I doing here?!  
AsSIRENate:V-man,Al, my old pals  
Radio Demon:You get away from her  
Y/n, this is a dangerously unstable individual  
Sharkgirl:But shes me tho  
VOX:Seriously why the fuck am I he-  
Chat glitches for a moment

Radio Demon:Betelgeuse is sexy  
VOX:Betelgeuse is smart  
Both:BJ is a graduate of Juilliard!  
She can help  
We found her on Yelp  
Our troubles all ended on the day that we befriended her  
Every word is the truth  
Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse

Fluffy Boots:Da fuck just happened  
Niffty-chan:I am confuse  
Hotel Mange-ment:That makes 2  
VOX:What the heck was that?  
Radio Demon:So violating  
AsSIRENate:There you go, kid  
Couple of five-star reviews  
Sharkgirl:What was that?  
Radio:Yes I would like to know how you went into my body without my consent!  
Fluffy Boots:But Smiles,dont ya want Y/n to be in ya?  
Radio Demon:I-  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:So Y/n pegs Alastor confirmed  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏 has changed Radio demon's name to Y/n's bottomboi

AsSIRENate That was electronic possession  
Even you can do that in less than one lesson  
VOX:Fuck this shit I'm out  
VOX has left the chat

Y/n's bottomboi:Good riddance to bad rubbish...Can someone please change my name back?  
Hotel Mange-ment has changed Y/n's bottomboi to Radio Demon

Apple Daddy 🍎🍏:Charlotte you're grounded  
Hotel Mange-ment:Why😭  
Sharkgirl:I can do that?  
AsSIRENate:Pretty much, little practice will do,sure  
Sharkgirl:Then, Betelgeuse, what do I need you for?  
Niffty-chan:OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH!  
Fluffy Boots:Sick Burn🔥🔥🔥  
Apple Daddy 🍎🍏:So proud of my sassy child😁  
Hotel Mange-ment:Oh come on!

AsSIRENate:Woah, woah, woah woah woah  
Hold up, hold up, girl, I'm your pal  
They're sweet, but I'm a demon straight from Hell  
Niffty-chan:But we all are demons  
Hotel Mange-ment:Metaphors Niffty.At least I think so  
AsSIRENate:I know, I went a little hard on the sell  
But we're BF-F-F-F's forever  
Agh  
AsSIRENate is offline

Niffty-chan:What happened?  
Fluffy Boots:I think someone fell from the roof  
Radio Demon:Y/n!  
Sharkgirl:What? She was already dead  
Hotel Mange-ment:That didnt mean to kill her!  
Sharkgirl:And you heard what she said, I can do that possession stuff  
We don't need that demon  
The three of us alone can wreck Kyle's evening  
Together we can make a grown man weep  
Apple Daddy 🍎🍏:Atta girl  
Sharkgirl:Guys, I got a dinner date to keep  
Radio Demon:I dont remember you accepting my dinner date proposal,something about not wanting to eat demon meat  
Hotel Mange-ment:Dont encourage Y/n to eat people!

Fluffy Boots:Okay, so what's the plan?  
Sharkgirl:Teach him a lesson  
He's gonna freak when we possess him  
So he wants to get away with murder?  
I'll lead that lamb to slaughter  
Yeah, I got game  
I'm gonna make him say my name  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:(Make him say your name)  
Sharkgirk:I'll make him say my name  
Niffty-chan:(Make him say your name)  
Sharkgirl:I'll make him say my name  
Fluffy Boots:(Make him say your name)  
Sharkgirl:Not running away  
I'll make him say my name

AsSIRENate is online  
AsSIRENate:Oh that was fun  
Sharkgirl:Ye  
Hotel Mange-ment:Didnt Y/n push you off the roof?!  
AsSIRENate:Alright first of all princess,she didn't push me,I jumped off.2,I'm fine,I walked it off.And 3 get pranked Bitch  
Apple Daddy🍎🍏:Dont call my daughter a bitch.Nice lyric prank tho.Love Beetlejuice.  
Radio Demon:So you dont want to maim anyone?  
Sharkgirl:Nah,think I'll leave that up to you.  
AsSIRENate:Bye, gotta fuck my Alastor for the book in 20 mins,so I gotta go  
AsSIRENate has left the chat

Hotel Mange-ment:So this was a lyric prank?Is that why you guys muted Vaggie  
Sharkgirl:Yeah.Sorry,not sorry  
Fluffy Boots:😆  
Hotel Mange-ment:At least no one was murdered  
Apple Daddy 🍎🍏:Boo,I give it 6/10.Not enough murder.Talk big but cant walk the walk.  
Apple Daddy 🍎🍏Has left the chat

Hotel Mange-ment:Okay,let's go back to sleep.Night  
Fluffy Boots:Night  
Niffty-chan:Sleep tight  
Radio:Dont let the Radio Demon Bite  
Sharkgirl:But I like it when you bite me all😏  
Radio Demon:😮  
Fluffy Boots:😏Get some Y/n!  
Niffty-chan,Fluffy Boots,Hotel Mange-ment,Radio demon and Sharkgirl have left the chat


End file.
